Disclaimer: BOO!
The clouds threatened to eat the sky…perfect. This kind of morning suggested that Edward and I would be able to go out. It's hard to resist the opportunity to show off your delicious vampire boyfriend, after all.
I grabbed my toiletries bag and headed over to the bathroom to take my human moment. Edward would undoubtedly be arriving soon.
I walked back to my room fully dressed, hair dried and all, and, to my mock surprise, said vampire boyfriend was already sitting on my bed. I walked over and sat on his lap. "So, what are the plans for this gorgeous day?" I asked.
He laughed. "I was thinking we could go for a walk in the park?" he suggested.
In all honesty, I was taken aback by this, but utterly thrilled. "That sounds nice," I said with a stupid grin on my face. Diving headfirst into a vat of tuna fish would sound nice if I were doing it with him.
He picked me up bridal-style and sped off towards his Volvo. Human speed never was quick enough for this one…
Once we arrived, he parked the car and ran around it to open the door for me. I hit my head on the top of the Volvo getting out, of course, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless.
We began to walk around the perimeter of the park, fueling mindless chatter with random questions.
"If you could have an wild animal as a house-pet, which would you choose?" he asked as we passed the playground.
"A mountain lion," I answered, not skipping a beat.
"Why's that?"
I cocked my head. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you not the mountain lion of the family?"
He chuckled and brought my hand in for a small kiss.
"What about you?" I asked.
"I don't think I would. You're plenty for me," he answered.
I laughed. "Hey, you're gonna be marrying this soon. I'm not sure you know what you're getting yourself into, sometimes."
His face took on an incredulous expression. "Oh, so, you demand to be damned to a life of darkness, and I don't know what I'm getting myself into?"
"Yes."
He shook his head. "You never cease to confuse me…"
"Good. Keepin' you on your toes should keep you around long enough."
"Forever." He stopped me and leaned in for a kiss, when I felt a slight breeze on my and legs. This was confirmed by the growling.
I looked down to see a white dog, medium-sized, sitting at my side with my jeans in its mouth. I felt my face pale as I realized that I was standing in the middle of a public park, in front of my fiancé, without any pants on.
I dared myself to look at his face, after a moment of embarrassing silence. I scolded myself for doing so immediately afterwards; he was laughing!
"Do not be amused by this!" I shrieked. I glared at the dog.
"Bella," Edward said, his hand at my cheek, "don't be embarrassed." He gave me a soft kiss. "You know, you should probably get used to this."
I looked up at him. "At standing in public places in my underpants?"
He grinned. "No, at my seeing you in your underpants."
My face immediately turned red. "Yeah, well, you know, I should probably…I should probably put some…put something on," I sputtered, in a pitiful attempt to speak coherently.
He gently put his forehead to mine and offered, "Would you like to wear my pants?" He was enjoying this.
"No, but it would be nice if you could invisibly get me to the car so I could hide away from this half-naked world." Honestly, were we really still standing here?
He picked me up and in a nauseating second we were back at the car. "Oh, boy," I commented shakily.
He grabbed a blanket from the back and handed it to me. I gratefully took it and placed it on my legs as I sat down. This was so not happening…
"So what do you think possessed that dog to attack your jeans, do you think?" he pondered as he pulled out of the parking space.
"My butt."
It's two in the morning.
I'm tired.
I'm not thinking right.
This is not perfect.
Kaythanksbaaaaiiiii.
But really, I find underpants to be the funniest word...
At first, I changed it to "underwear" but that is so not as funny.
UNDAHPANTS!
Picture Edward saying that word...
DO IIIT. DOOO IIIITTT!
Oh, God. I'm going to go sleep now.
(: