Ribbons and Pearls

"What's it like?"

The first time Hinageshi met Botan, she was tripped over. It was really quite funny. It had all of Reikai laughing for nearly a week straight. To this day, people joke about letting her into the file rooms.

You see, back then Hinageshi was working on her apprenticeship as a ferry girl. She was to do everything her senpai told her. This including running errands. Lots of errands. So many errands, she was sure she could run twenty miles in the snow without losing breath. Well, maybe not twenty miles, but that's not the point. The point was that it was all Ajisai-senpai's fault! The ferry girl had purposefully forgot her handbag in the filing room offices and had ordered Hinageshi to retrieve it.

Now, we all remember that Hinageshi is small. Hinageshi is a little clumsy. Hinageshi has trouble being seen by others carrying meter high stacks of paperwork. So, since we all remember these things about Hinageshi, it was a very cruel thing to send her to a place where they carry two-meter high stacks of paperwork and no one watches to see if anyone is underfoot.

So, it was really no surprise that the girl carrying a three-meter high stack of paperwork would trip over little, clumsy Hinageshi.

Oh, it was horrible! Hundreds upon thousands of previously beautifully correlated paperwork was sent flying hither and thither, making the most terrible fluttering noised that sounded a lot like doom incarnate. And how the poor girl that tripped over Hinageshi's loathsome self yelled! Hinageshi was sure that the moment she opened her eyes from her own position on the floor she would see broken bones and blood.

When the paperwork settled, the yelling stopped, and Hinageshi finally found the courage to open her eyes, she about had a coronary.

Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! It was Botan-sama! THE Botan-sama! The top ferry girl who was too good for lowly apprentices like herself to even dream about talking to had just tripped over Hinageshi's despised self! And all the other ferry girls and oni around them were laughing their heads off. Oh, she was so stupid. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Are you alright?" the blue haired vision had asked her in the sweetest of tones, not even noticing the mirth swirling around her ears.

And the guilt doubled at those caring words. Tears started falling from her eyes all by themselves. She bowed her all the way to the floor.

"Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Please forgive me, Botan-sama! Gomen nasai…"

"Oh, dear! Please don't cry! It's alright!" the ferry woman cajoled frantically. "I'm not hurt. And the paperwork isn't due until next week. Oh, please don't cry. Um…look, it's a kitty!"

Hinageshi had looked up from the floor then in confusion. Reikai cats were very large and no one called them kitties. But, what she saw dried her tears instantly and had her laughing her head off. Botan had her face in an obscenely accurate impression of a grinning cat. The great Botan-sama looking like a cute little cat! It was just too strange that she had to laugh.

"Ah," Botan sighed. "That's better. Laughing is so much more pleasant on the ears. Well, up we get. Help me pick these up, please?"

Hinageshi wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded, instantly scooping up the mountain of papers not to her, still feeling wary around such a great person as Botan-sama, but understanding that the top ferry woman of Reikai was very kind indeed.

Once all the papers were picked up, Hinageshi carrying only a third of the total amount (they were just too heavy all stacked like that), Botan smiled and said something that almost made her drop the papers she had worked so hard to pick up.

"Thank you very much. If you're not to busy, could you help me carry them to my office."

It was a ferry girl apprentice's wet dream to be invited to Botan's office.

"Of course! I mean…Ajisai-senpai told me to fetch her handbag, Botan-sama," Hinageshi said unwillingly.

"Ajisai-chan? Well, that makes sense. I wondered who would send you into the file rooms. Tell you what. I'll have a talk with her and you can come be my apprentice for the week. You can help me sort out these files again. What do you say?"

The tears almost started again.

"Oh, please don't cry. Don't cry! Do you want me to do the kitty face again?" Botan asked, nervous and frantic.

"N-no. I'm fine," Hinageshi said, sucking up the tears for Botan's sake.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, if you're sure. Okay, then. Um…my office is this way."

It was smaller than Hinageshi had expected. It was the same size as Ajisai's office, actually. Except, Botan's office felt different. It was like you could feel the warmth and acceptance and kindness in that room. It felt a lot like coming home. It wasn't until years later that Hinageshi would realize that it was Botan herself what felt like coming.

"Where should I put these, Botan-sama?" Hinageshi asked, finding little space left on the desk or the two chairs in front of the desk. Both were piled high with more paperwork.

"Over here," Botan said, placing her own stack next to the wall and sitting in the wide empty space in front of the massy desk and chairs. "I always work on the floor. There's more room that way."

And there was room. A lot of room. Both Botan and Hinageshi had room to spread themselves out comfortably and still get their work done. Hinageshi never would have realized the floor was the most efficient place to get things done. It was only one of the many things Botan would teach Hinageshi.

--

It had been two weeks since Hinageshi had become Botan's apprentice. It was Botan's paperwork day, so she had been in the office all morning. It was nice. Usually, Hinageshi only got to see Botan when she stopped in from ferrying souls, but on paperwork days, the two of them would spend the whole day chatting while they did their work. Hinageshi always felt very blessed and very selfish to spend so much time with Botan, whose attention was coveted by every ferry girl and oni she knew, but she cherished these days too much to say or do anything to change it.

By now, Hinageshi was comfortable enough with Botan to ask her what she had never dared ask Ajisai-senpai. So, when they were on their lunch break and happily swinging their legs off the side of Botan's office's balcony, she had asked.

"Botan-sama, what's it like to be a ferry girl?"

Botan finished munching on her bite of sandwich and looked up thoughtfully at the multi-colored clouds in the sky.

"Well, it's very sad," the blue-haired goddess said with a pretty smile.

"Sad?" Hinageshi asked with a frown.

"Yes. When you first become a ferry girl, you'll spend your first hundred years or so crying, usually in a place no one can see you. Everyone'll know you've been crying though, but there's no need to worry. Everyone here is very kind and understanding and will pretend like they don't know the difference. Then, you'll probably go on a month-long sabbatical to figure out if you're really cut out to be a ferry girl. When you figure out that there's no other job for you, you'll come back and start ferrying souls again. You'll still be crying, but it won't be as often and you'll probably never let another tear fall. And you pray to everything you know that the only people you'll ever love are the ferry girls and the oni around. And you pray twice as hard that you never fall in love."

"Really?" she asked, astounded. "Why?"

"Because they'll eventually die," Botan said with a sad smile. "That's the tricky thing about being death, you see. You can't grow old and die with the ones you love."

"So ferry girls aren't supposed to love?" she asked in confusion.

"That's right."

"But what about, Ajisai-senpai. She's in love."

"Un, that's because Ajisai-chan was lucky."

"What do you mean, Botan-sama?"

"She fell in love with someone who won't die. She was very lucky."

It almost broke Hinageshi's heart the way Botan said that last sentence, soft like the most loving caress, but full of the saddest whispers of goodbyes. The Botan eyes dimmed and went hollow, Hinageshi knew Botan was crying in the way only ferry girls could cry. That was why she stupidly asked her next question.

"Have you ever been in love, Botan-sama?"

She winced when Botan flinched, but then the ferry woman smiled and chuckled at the lowly apprentice.

"Well, I'm a special case," Botan said lightly, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've always known ferrying souls was the only job for me. I didn't start of human like most ferry girls, but when I started this job, I was looking to get my humanity back. I did that and more. And while it hurts like hell, I've loved many times over. That also means I've lost many times over, you understand. Of course, I've never loved anyone the way Ajisai-chan and Hakuto love each other, mind you. But I cherish the moments I've had with the people I love. I know there'll be many in the future, and I can't wait. It's what keeps me going. Most people can't understand how I do it. Neither do I most of the time. It really hurts like hell. But all my vacation time is spent in the most fun ways and just spending time with the people I love. Every time I think back to those times, I'm always happy. That's enough for me. What? Don't look at me like that. It's creepy."

Botan was just the most amazing person!

"I want to be just like you, Botan-sama!"

Botan giggled at that and slung an arm around Hinageshi's shoulders.

"We'll see. I think Hinageshi is better as herself. Just remember that if you ever need any help, just call me, okay."

"Okay!"

--

Botan had been right. After she became a ferry girl and joined the same ranks as her beloved Botan-sama, Hinageshi had spent her first hundred years crying. No one seemed to notice, which Hinageshi appreciated to the very core of her being. She was certainly strong enough to handle her own sorrows. She did ask for a sabbatical, but it wasn't because she doubted that she cut out to be a ferry girl. She went to Ningenkai to hone her skills, to take the next step on the ladder to the heights where Botan-sama always stayed waving down at her. It didn't work out the way she had planned and she had moonlighted ferrying souls and had even helped Botan's newest loved ones save the world from being swallow by the Netherworld, a subject which had been her apprentice's thesis and was now part of her expertise. She never did fall in love, but then, her heart was probably too full of Botan to notice if she had. Even if she was always crying, in that special way that ferry girls cried without shedding a tear, she could always think about Botan and smile.

All in all, Hinageshi turned out to be a fine ferry girl.