Disclaimer: Neither Jordan nor I own Supernatural.

A/N: Jordan: We're on a roll here! Right Lyn?

Me: Yep! Which means, after much fighting with our muses, we squeezed out two chapters in one day!

Jordan: Which means…

Me: 100 awesomeness!

Jordan: And you guys should 100 review!

Me: Because in the chaps we put out today, I've been writing Dean, and I really seriously do wanna know what y'all fans who've been watching the show for longer than I have think.

Jordan: Amen to that…

Me: So review! Pleeeeaseeee!

Jordan: I'll -coughbegrudginglycough- share my HBO with you!

Me: And for those just reading this chapter… which would be odd… HBO is a cereal… which Jordan's addicted to.

Jordan: YAY FOR ACRONYMS!

Both: REVIEW!!

Chapter Nine – The Aftermath

The sound of the slamming door resounded in Dean's head, and after a moment he just closed his eyes because he couldn't look at the door or the empty room any more. It hurt too much. How sad and bitterly ironic that, now that he could feel and see and after it had cost so much for that to happen, he just wanted it to go away.

He would have to be more careful with what he said, Dean thought, if he wanted Jordan to listen. He never wanted her to be hurt, and he definitely didn't want to be the one who caused her pain. God, he was supposed to be the one who protected her, and he had done a fantastic job of that, so far. She was tired, pale, half starved, and now hurt – oh, and let's not forget the deal with the demon. Yes, Dean Winchester was definitely doing a bang-up job of keeping her safe, if you didn't count any of that.

Why did he always screw things up like this, anyway? If he had never gotten involved with her, none of this would have happened. She and Lyn would be somewhere completely different by now. She probably would never have gotten turned into a tiger in the first place. And she would still be happy, and she would have much longer than a year left to live.

She kept saying that he didn't understand, but didn't he? Wasn't he now facing the same prospect, only with a year to wait, and know that it was coming? And why did people keep dying for him!?

But, no, he wasn't going to think that. She wasn't going to die because of him. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he wasn't going to let that happen.

Sam saw Jordan walk into the waiting room, tears streaming down her face. He nudged Lyn with his elbow, unsure of what to do, but certain that Lyn, of all people, would be the one who did.

A crease appeared between Lyn's eyebrows, and she rose from her seat and approached slowly. "JJ?" she asked quietly, looking her sister up and down. She would have thought Jordan would be ecstatic and bouncing off the walls now that Dean was finally up, and this sudden change in emotion and attitude worried her. "What's the matter?"

"I… I'm sorry, Lyn… I had to. It was the only way! He doesn't understand. I couldn't lose him, I just couldn't! I couldn't let him die. I'm so sorry!" Jordan threw her arms around her sister.

Lyn hugged Jordan back confusedly, trying to decipher what she had said. She was… sorry…? For what? She hadn't done anything – had she? Then the pieces began to click together in Lyn's shocked mind. The only way… because she couldn't lose him… he didn't understand… and she was sorry…

The only way…

What little color there was left in Lyn's face drained and, for a second, she thought she might pass out. She shot a horror-stricken glance at Sam over the top of Jordan's head before suddenly pushing her back a little, holding her by the shoulders and meeting her gaze with one of frightened disbelief.

"W-what do you mean, 'the only way'!?" Lyn demanded in a frantic whisper that was an octave or two too high. "What did you – Jordan, you didn't – you wouldn't –"

"He wasn't going to wake up!" Jordan answered, her own voice almost mirroring Lyn's tone. "I just – Please… You have to understand! I'm sorry… I just need you to understand. I need you all to understand. I need him to understand…"

Lyn had to fight hard to keep her breathing under control; it wasn't easy to find a median between forgetting to breathe and hyperventilating. However, that left little attention to focus on keeping her voice level, and so it came near to being a shriek and her words increased in speed until they were almost unrecognizable as she realized that Jordan wasn't denying the half-formed accusation.

"You did!? Jordan, you did! How could you!? That's why he woke up so suddenly and why he was so upset and why the nurses said it was some kind of miracle and you didn't even act surprised and how am I supposed to understand this, Jordan!?"

Sam came up behind Lyn, his eyes sad and shining with unshed tears.

Jordan sucked in a breath and let Lyn's words and the expressions on her sister's and her friend's faces hit her like a freight train. She looked down, closing her eyes, and whispered again, "I'm sorry…"

Lyn suddenly became aware that her hands were still clenched like twin vicegrips around Jordan's shoulders and focused for a moment on releasing that grip and returning her arms to her sides before switching her attention to the attempt to calm her erratic breathing.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, she didn't want to. She wanted to object and attempt feebly to rationalize, but she didn't trust herself to speak. She would either say something she didn't intend to or suddenly burst out crying – probably both – and so she forced her mind to go blank. She had to keep herself under control, people were starting to stare; and if she didn't calm down, she would probably end up attempting to strangle her sister.

Jordan looked up at Lyn, and her voice was faint as she asked, "Do you hate me?"

Sam let one lone tear fall, which he wiped off his cheek.

Lyn hadn't noticed that she had let her eyes drift out of focus as she stared unseeingly at the top of Jordan's head and tried to gather her thoughts, but they snapped back when Jordan spoke. She would have felt a pang of guilt at the question were it not for the fact that, in the aftermath of her sudden overload of emotion from just a moment ago, she now felt very numb. A small part of her mind realized that, when the feeling came back, it would only be worse; but for the most part, she was just relieved with the temporary wave of serenity that allowed her to think clearly.

The sudden lack of emotion in her voice was unnerving, though, as she tried to force a smile but just came up with a faint twitching of the sides of her mouth and said in a low whisper, "You're my sister. I cannot hate you, whether I agree with your decisions or not."

"I'm sorry… Oh, God… I told him to go screw himself…" Jordan buried her face in her hands.

Sam chuckled. "Back to normal, I guess… Or as normal as it can be…"

"Go talk to him," Lyn advised, still in that low, toneless voice. "He'll understand, when he calms down. Though that may take a while. He won't accept it, but he'll understand. I'm… going to get some air."

She turned then, stepped out from between Jordan and Sam without looking at either one of them, and headed off in the direction of the stairs.

"Sam… wanna come with?" Jordan asked hopefully.

Sam smiled sadly at her. "Sure."

They walked toward Dean's room, Jordan feeling scared at what could happen, and Sam feeling scared at what he knew would happen.