Akatsuki Kindergarten chapter 5.

They were all so excited when they found out their new classmate was a relative of their good friend Itachi. Well, Itachi wasn't so excited but who could blame him?

"We'll be good friends!" Deidara was telling the feisty toddler named Sasuke.

"Hehe! Sasuke giggled. He was cute some could say…

Until; "GYAAAAAAAHHH I'M GOING TO KILL THAT FUCKING FREAK OF NATURE!" Hidan had just discovered the beautiful 'gift' Sasuke left on his beautiful new cloak.

"NO CUSSING IN MY CLASS KID!" The teacher yelled.

"YOU'RE STILL ON MY LIST, LADY!"

"I'LL EXPEL YOU GOD DAMNIT!"

"IT'S ALL LIES! I'LL GET YOU FIRED YOU UGLY BITCH."

"I'M CALLING YOUR MOTHER!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Every kid is afraid of his mother. Hidan cannot be made fun of for /that/.

"So Sasuke…" Deidara was still immersed in his conversation with Sasuke who had disappeared quite some time ago. "I've decided upon names for my hands. I name my left one Percy, and the right one Edward. Recently I've been quite obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine!"

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi was the only one listening, and obviously shared Deidara's obsession with the amazing trains.

Leader had been doing some thinking. As sneaky as the new two year old was, he might not really be cut out for the Akatsuki. So he decided to put him through a test.

"Okay members of my group! We are going to put Sasuke through a test! First stop; the bank!"

"DO NOT LEAVE MY CLASSROOM YOU CRAZY CHILDREN!"

But sadly, this time she was ignored. The little kids filed out of the classroom one by one and the teacher was way too lazy to follow them out.

Once they arrived at their destination which was about a block from their school, Leader pulled out the microphone he got free in his McDonalds Happy Meal. "We are going to rob this bank! But first I will issue you your weapons." He pulled a bag out of absolutely nowhere and each member grabbed their weapon. "Use them only when you need to! They are dangerous!"

"YEAH WE GET TO KILL PEOPLE WHOOOO!" Hidan loved the idea.

"Yeah…. Suuure." Leader nodded. "AKATSUKI, ENTER!"

So Deidara climbed on Itachi who climbed on Zetsu who climed on Leader to twist the doorknob to actually get into the bank.

"GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!" Kakuzu yelled enthusiastically.

"We're not at the desk yet, yeah!" Deidara mentioned.

So once they arrived at the desk…

"GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!"

The teller could do nothing but laugh. "Little kids crack me up these days." She said happily.

"YEAH? WELL IF YOU DON'T HAND OVER THE MONEY I'LL CRACK YOUR HEAD UP!" Hidan screamed.

"Oh, well," The Teller was having a good day and some humor was making it just that much better.

"Are you going to give us the money or not?" Itachi asked in a bored tone.

"Heheh, no."

"THAT'S IT MINIONS, PULL OUT THE GUNS!" Leader yelled.

"OKAY!" So the kids all pulled a gun out of their cloaks.

"READY, SET………… SQUIRT!!!!!!!"

In perfect synchronization, the Akatsuki members squirted the teller wherever they could hit her.

Well, except Sasuke, who was still shaking his because the sloshing water was a very cool sound.

"YEAH! WE ARE SO HARD YO!" Zetsu was very enthusiastic because water actually came out of his.

"Yeah! Orochimaru said happily. "My water went the furthest!"

"No it didn't mine did!" Sasori argued.

"Lies. MINE IS FURTHEST!" Orochimaru retorted.

And the argument went on and on until…

"I'm DUMPING YOU OROCHIMARU!" Sasori yelled. "You're not worth my very important time and space."

"Fine! I'll go find new friends!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

So something horrific just happened. The loving relationship between two beautiful friends had come to a closure.

Orochimaru left the bank and Sasuke was slingshotted after him because he failed the test.

"Security." The forgotten bank telled said into the intercom.

This part was blocked out for the little kids…

….

…….

"You tried to rob a bank with WATER GUNS?" Their teacher looked amused. "You amuse me."

"LET'S SEE YOU DO BETTER DICKWAD." Hidan had issues. No point in denying it.

"OKAY!" the teacher ran from the classroom. She returned a few minutes later with a $5.00 bill and a liquid that looked very close to blood on her shirt…

"Crazy woman, yeah. I'll keep away from her now." Deidara noted.

A long time passed after this because it turned out the teacher was a crazy murderer… and got convicted but was let out on bail…

"Guess what children!"

"Oh no she's back!" the children chorused.

"Shut up, you stupid children." She paused. "ANYWAYS! We're going on a school trip to the zoo. You need to get your permission slips signed by your parents or guardians and then we'll be on our way." … pause… "Why the hell aren't you moving? Go get them signed!"

The kids looked confused… but filed out of the classroom anyways.

On the way home, the Akatsuki discussed the field trip they would soon be attending.

"I get to ride the giraffesssss!" Zetsu seemed overly exicted.

"I'm a pirana." Kisame giggled.

"I'll name the elephants, yeah!"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME HOME?"

"Sorry!" The kids all went in their own directions to their own houses…

--

END LAWL.

This is what it looks like when I force humor out of myself.

I realized that I hadn't updated since 2006… so I decided it was about time oO;

Sorry about the crappy chapter. Yeah. I forced myself to write this so it probably isn't as funny as my others… not that I'm saying they're funny… that would be modest… or humble… or whatever the hell it is. I'M NOT FULL OF MYSELF DX.

Uh review and bash me pls.

And no, you're not allowed to Saso and Dei. TT

-Misa-