So I think it's about time I updated this thing again. It's 1:53am. I work tomorrow. I hope its worth it. lol. Okay.
Okay so I wrote that first sentence like a month ago, or before, and lol at it being 1:41 am now.
I hope I don't ditch tonight, or in one month it'll be like, 1:30am and I'll be trying to finish this again.
"I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. I know a song that will get on your nerves AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!" Deidara and Zetsu were starting to get bored. The bus ride to the zoo was so long. It had already been about fifteen minutes and there was still another ten to go. How unfair was that; making them sit that long?
"SILENCE... I kill you!" Hidan yelled. He had this new obsession with a dead terrorist named Achmed. A...C..phlegm...
Yeah.
Click-click, click-click, click-click, click-click.
"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK--UH, FUDGE UP." The teacher screamed from the front.
Click-click, click-click.
Cl--"Hey, what was that for??" Itachi asked, as Kakuzu snatched the pen away from him.
"Hidan said that if you don't shut the -hic- up he'll come over here and slice your -hic-ing head off."
"I DIDN'T SAY HIC, I SAID FUCK, YOU FUCKTARD."
Click-click, click-click, click-click.
"OKAY I GET IT. IT'S ANNOYING. STOP IT. STOP STOP STOP."
All of the sudden, the bus pulled to as stop. The kindergarteners all rushed to the door like a crazy herd of--
"IT'S A RED LIGHT, YOU DOUCHEBAGS. SIT BACK DOWN." screamed the teacher. "FIVE MORE MINUTES TO GO!"
"Five more minutes. We're never getting out of here!" Zetsu wailed. "My plant hasn't seen any light for like, tens of minutes. I'M GOING TO WILT I TELL YOU. My plant is gonna die then I'll never become one with it and grow up to be a creepy baby eater. CATASTROPHE!!"
"We must devise a plan to get out of here." Leader said, waving over the kindergarteners, who were definitely allowed to walk around on the bus. Everyone crowded around him, even people who were definitely not invited.
"Itachi, go and open that window. But do it stealthily."
"Uh, why?" Itachi asked.
"SO WE CAN CLIMB OUT OF IT YOU DICKWAD." Hidan yelled.
"I HEARD THAT, YOU RETARD." the teacher yelled back.
"So much for that plan," Leader said slowly, while rubbing his chin. "Perhaps we should uh...Itachi go do it anyways."
"'Kay." Itachi got up, and opened the window.
"Now climb out of it." Leader ordered.
"No way."
"I WILL." Kisame shrieked, and went flying out of the window head first.
"Uh, maybe he should of waited for the bus to stop, and then uh...climbed out of the bus, and then uh...tried to land on his feet."
"LOLGUYS, I JUST SAW KISAME GET HIT BY A CAR."
--
About 1 minute and 30 seconds later, the bus rolled to a complete stop and the children filed out of the car. The teacher tried to count heads, failed, and led everyone through the gates.
"Now stay away from animals if they're out of the cage. You may get eaten. Mamed, destroyed. We'll find your head li--anyways, HAVE FUN KIDS. DISPERSE."
Letting kids free in a zoo is probably not that safe, considering a few of them believed they were assassins.
The members one less a Kisame gathered together.
"So whats the plan?" Itachi asked the leader.
"We will go look at the panda bears, yeah."
"NO. We'll go to the exotic plants section."
"Nah, lets go to the killer bees.."
"What the hell is wrong with all of you? We're OBVIOUSLY going to Marine-land. To see the WHALES."
"I think we should go to the sealife section." Leader said, a grin on his face.
"YEAH YEAH YEAH!" Zetsu cheered. "But why?"
"We need to find ourselves a new Kisame."
"I'm a pirana."
"Oh hi Kisame. Never mind that. Lets go assassinate a tiger, or that guy with the really bad hair."
"THATS NOT VERY STEALTHY!!" Hidan screamed.
"Now its not, anyways. I've got an idea. Let's teach Tobi how to talk."
"Tobi is a good boy."
And so, the quest began.
I wonder what kind of animals Tobi likes yeah.." Deidara questioned.
"Tobi is a good boy."
"His tone of voice hints that he likes giraffes."
"TO THE GIRAFFES!" And so thats where they head.
After five minutes of the kids pathetically trying to extend their necks to the length of the giraffes, everyone took a turn at Tobi.
"Say "I like Giraffes" yeah"
"Tobi is a good boy."
"Say GIRAFFES really loudly."
"Tobi is a good boy."
"IF YOU DON'T SAY GIRAFFE, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL SHOOT YOUR FUCKING MOTHER."
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!"
"This isn't working." Itachi pointed out.
"Tobi is a good boy."
"To the monkeys."
"GAW GAW GAW GAW GAW GAW GAW" A loud, very odd laugh was coming from some odd direction.
"Gaw gaw gawd, it must be OROCHIMARU!!" Sasori gasped. "WHAT WILL I DO? OH NO! DOES MY HAIR LOOK OKAY?"
"Looks great Sasori."
"I have come to ambush your little parade!" Orochimaru said, in a really creepy voice.
"He has come to ambush your little parade like totally!" Sasuke became a wannabe valley girl.
"Tobi!" Orochimaru said loudly. "Say "Tobi is a good boy!!"
"Good boy, Tobi is!"
"YODA? YODA? WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN OVER TOBI'S BODY?" Zetsu asked, while wandering off in some odd direction. He looked kinda like a looney, like the kinds you'll see riding old granny bikes past you in Toronto. It srsly happened yesterday..and that homeless guy touched wendy's thigh oo lol good times. BACK TO THE STORY.
"Tobi say TOBI IS NOT A GOOD BOY!"
"Tobi a is good boy."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP. TALK. BUT NOT TOBI IS A GOOD BOY."
"Tobi is a fucking good boy."
"HE DID IT HE DID IT, YEAH!" Deidara screamed enthusiastically.
"Nope, that was me." Kakuzu looked pretty pleased with himself.
"Tobi, say something OTHER THAN tobi is a good boy."
"Tobi is a good boy."
"He said no," Leader translated.
"I'M STILL HERE!" Orochimaru waved.
"HE'S TOTALLY STILL HERE!" Sasuke mirrored. Sort of.
"SUP." they greeted back, and then returned to badgering Tobi.
"KONNICHIPA. KONNICHIPA. KON KON NICHI NICHI KONICHI PA. KONNICHI PAPA KONNICHIPA. KONNICHI PAPA KONICHI PAAAAAAA--"
"TOBI WILL NOT BE A GOOD BOY ANYMORE WHEN HE IS THROUGH WITH THAT PHONE." Tobi screamed.
"DUDE. DUDE YOU DID IT DUDE." Leader yelled enthusastically. "DUDE!"
"Thanks Orochimaru!" Everyone said, considering Orochimaru's cell phone was what went off at that point. What an annoying fucking ringtone.
"Oh shit."
"Oh shit, like, totally!"
"Sasuke, I'm telling mom next time you swear." Itachi threatened.
"Oh no you didn't!!"
"LETS GO HOME."
--
Okay so.
I'm not really following Naruto anymore, so I don't want to bring in Konan/call Leader Pein. It would be too much for me honestly.
This chapter wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be.
I'm serious guys when I say this.
HELLO! PROJECT WHAT?
If you are my fan, you will listen to Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance by Berryz Koubou.
The next chapter will be better I promise, and it WILL come, so please dont give up on me!
-Misa-