Miss You
Author: Pokari, R for mpreg.
Disclaimer: you know it's not mine
Summary: Harry was married to Draco and they had a son.
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Sirius/Severus
Time: Post-Hogwarts
Warnings: a little angst, slightly AU.
Note: Unbeta-ed.
Chapter Nine
"Mummy?" Larry spoke sleepily.
"Yes?" Harry had been carrying his son, with his head on his shoulder, humming lullabies, and rocking slowly for almost two hours. His hands were so tired, but Larry still refused to be put on to his bed.
"I miss Uncle Sirius."
Harry smiled. "Me too, Larry."
Larry looked at his mother's eyes. "Does Uncle Sirius miss us too?"
"Of course he misses us. He loves us."
Larry put his head back on his mother's shoulder, apparently satisfy with the explanation. "Mummy?"
"Yes?"
"Can I sleep with you, please?"
Harry sighed. Larry had refused to sleep alone since Sirius left, and he and Draco had agreed that this should change, but he didn't have the heart to refuse his son's plea. So when he returned to his and Draco's room with half sleeping Larry, he could only smile apologically at his husband.
"I'm sorry, Draco." Harry whispered as he gently tucked his son in.
Draco only nodded. His baby project was way behind schedule now, but he said nothing about it, afraid that Harry would change his mind seeing how one child took so much energy and attention.
"Maybe we should ask Sirius to stay with us." Draco sighed. He looked at Harry's tired face and he felt guilty. When Harry sat in front of his mirror, Draco stood behind him and gently massaged his shoulder.
"Better?"
"Thank you." Harry smiled gratefully. He reached for Draco's hand and squeezed lightly. "I'm so lucky to have you."
Draco bent down and kissed Harry's head. "I'm the lucky one, Harry."
He should do something, Draco told himself. No matter how much he loved his son, he could let him ruin his sex life.
Ö
"Sirius?" Bill Weasley waved his hand in front of the older man, and since he didn't get any reaction, he gently touched his hand. "Sirius."
"Yes?" Sirius was surprised that he almost dropped his cup.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you."
"No… it's my mistake. I shouldn't space out."
Bill only smiled. He didn't know what Sirius had gone through, since he refused to talk about it. He only said that he needed to get away to cope with his emotion, and he did want to push him. He was glad to have him as company. Living alone, especially when you were used to with large number family, was simply lonely.
"You should eat more."
Sirius squirmed. 'What is wrong with me that make they feel they have to baby me? Not to mention that they are younger than me.'
Noticing Sirius' uneasiness, Bill decided that it was time to go to work. "Well, I have to go early now, but would you mind preparing the dinner?" Bill grinned. "I'm a hazard in the kitchen."
"I will." Sirius smiled. He wasn't actually a master in the cooking area, but Harry and Larry had built his self-esteem, and made him realise that he might be good at cooking. Beside, Bill never complain about his cooking skill.
Bill was a nice guy, and this past week proofed that living with him wasn't difficult at all. He made him felt useful and needed. Those feelings was alien to him, but weren't unpleasant at all.
Sirius thought that he could actually go on with his life. He just didn't understand why he couldn't give up his past. Many times he would find himself thinking about Severus, if he were with Remus now, or if he was looking for him.
"It might be because of this baby." Sirius gently rubbed his stomach.
Ö
When Bill went home that evening, he was worried to find the room was dark. 'Has Sirius left?'
Bill could sometime see the pain lingering in Sirius' eyes. Somehow Sirius had awake the feeling of protectiveness in him. He wanted so much to erase that pain, but he found himself powerless. How he hated himself for being helpless.
Slowly Bill went to the living room, and he couldn't tell how relieve he felt went he saw the sleeping figure on the sofa.
He unconsciously held his breath upon seeing the beauty scene in front of him. Slowly he reached out his hand, wanted to touch the peaceful face. He frowned when his eyes caught the remnant of tears.
Bill was surprised when the eyes opened and the blue orbs were watching him, but he didn't pull his hand back.
"Why are you crying, Sirius? Are you that unhappy to live with me?"
"No." Sirius looked like he might stop talking at all, but to Bill's surprise he continued. "I'm sad because I can't forget the man that I supposed to forget."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No…" Sirius frowned. "But I have no other choice. In a few months you would find out anyway. You might kick me out then, it's no different if it happens now or later."
"Tell me." Bill said softly.
Sirius hesitated for a moment but he continued. "I'm pregnant. It's almost two months along now."
Bill didn't know why he was so disappointed. It might be because he was started to fall for the other guy, if he weren't already. He forced himself to ask. "What about the father?"
"I've been trying very hard to forget about him. I have to forget him, because he could never be mine."
Bill patiently waited for the older man to finish his word.
"He loves my best friend, I can't stay with him."
Bill gently cupped Sirius' face and forced him to look at him in the eyes. "Let me help you to forget about him, Sirius."
Sirius' eyes widened with disbelief. "You will?"
"Yes, only if you let me. I want you to be happy."
"Will you help me perform the spell, Bill?"
"Not that way, Sirius." Bill shook his head. "It shouldn't be that way."
"Please." Sirius grabbed Bill's hand. "I want to forget, it's so painful. I have to forget him."
Bill only kept silent.
"If I'm not forgetting him, I might hate him." Sirius started to cry again, as if crying in his slept wasn't enough, the tears flew freely. "He's still the father of my baby, I don't want to hate him."
Bill moved to hug the sobbing man.
"Please, help me perform the spell." Sirius sobbed.
"I can't." Bill smiled sadly. "I don't want you to forget me."
"I won't. It will only make me forget on people I don't want to remember. Please?" Sirius held the red head man's hand. "I thought you said you want me to be happy."
Bill was torn between Sirius' pleas and his decision.
"Give me some time to think."
That night neither man could sleep. The dinner was quiet and somehow less depressive. As usual Bill would complement Sirius' cooking. After that they would have a little chat, or just reading book, enjoying each other company. The topic about the spell was never brought back again.
Ö
When Draco went home that day, he was hoping to find his son looking depressed, and his spouse trying to console their only son. But he was surprised to hear their laughing voice. He walked faster to the source of the sound, his annoyance over the barking thing he bought and had already regretted for doing so, was forgotten.
"What's going on?" Draco looked amusedly at the many cloth articles lying untidily around the room.
"Daddy…" Larry happily ran to his father. He was wearing muggle cloth, look like something from some oldish muggle movie.
Draco carefully put the box down and caught his son. "What are you doing?"
"We are cowboys." Larry proudly told his father.
"We?"
"Me and Mummy." Larry grinned.
Harry smiled, he was wearing exactly the same suit as Larry, and had his hair tied in a long ponytail. "We're playing dressed up. Mother is the designer and father is the photographer. Do you want to join us?"
"No." Draco smiled. He slowly walked to where his mother was sitting, enjoying the show. "I think I'll be the audience."
"Come on, Lawrence." Narcissa cooed. "Put this on and we'll take some last shots."
Larry obediently walked to his grandma to retrieve the hat and soon they were laughing again at how odd they looked.
Draco was the only one who didn't laugh. To him, there was nothing wrong with how they look. No matter what Harry wore, he would always be beautiful.
Draco lifted one eyebrow when he looked at his father's photography stuff, all were the best money could buy and the entirety would put even a professional photographer into shame, not that his father knew the used of them all. "I don't know you're so into taking pictures, Father."
"Well," Lucius drawled, "You can't say that I've done a poor job of that."
"No." Draco nodded. He turned to his left when he felt someone was sitting by his side.
"You came home early." Harry smiled more cheerful than Draco ever seen him since their marriage. He was now wearing short jeans with knitted sweater, which was the same as what Larry was wearing. "Did you enjoy the show?"
"Yeah." Draco's eyes travelled to Harry's long, bare legs. "Wish I came home earlier, though."
"Daddy…" Larry shook his father's legs to catch his attention. "What is that?" He curiously looked at the box his father brought home.
Now that the room was cleaned up and he could see the floor, Draco just noticed what he had forgotten, a box, with pathetic howl coming out from it.
"I bought a puppy." Draco accioed the box.
"Is it for me?" Larry smiled, trying to hide his excitement and being patient.
"I don't know." Draco turned to look at Harry when he jabbed him, he raised his eyebrow as if saying 'what?' Draco stared at his son. "Well, only if you promise that you would take care of him."
"I will, Daddy." Larry nodded seriously. "I want to see him, Daddy, please." Well, he remembered to add the last word; sure Daddy would be happy with him.
When Draco opened the box, the poor puppy was so happy that he energetically licked the first face he saw and it was Larry.
"Mummy?" Larry looked confused. "Why did he lick my face? Does he hungry? I don't want him to eat me."
Narcissa laughed at that. "He just happy that he met you, Lawrance. Though I don't approved him licking anything, especially your face. I don't think he could help it."
Larry started to pet the puppy. It was a Pekinese with soft dark brown fur.
"What are you going to name him?" Harry gently asked.
Larry looked serious when he was thinking, that made him looked even more like Draco. "Cookie." Larry grinned. "I'll call him Cookie."
The puppy, now officially named Cookie, barked loudly, as if agreed with his master. Draco, hated the noise, quickly freed the energetic puppy from the box.
"Where is he going to sleep?" Harry frowned.
"He can sleep with me, Mummy."
Harry was unsure.
"Don't worry, Harry, I've made sure that he was tame and safe. And he's equal to a three years old human; he would be a good friend to our son." 'Though I hate the noise he made.' Draco added to himself.
Harry couldn't believe his ears. 'Had Draco gone nuts?' Harry was still frowning.
"Please, Mummy." Larry pleaded. "Cookie will be good, too. Right, Cookie?"
The puppy, knowing that his future was depending on his performance now, sat like the good puppy he were and barked once.
Harry gave up. "Fine, only if he's bathed and sanitize and promise that he wouldn't bite anything. Including you."
"Thank you, Mummy." Larry grinned as he launched at his mother. "Let's bath him now."
"Well," Narcissa stood up. "We're leaving now; we have dinner party to attend."
Harry nodded absently as he helped his son cashing the dog, while Draco didn't even pretending that he want to help, just sitting there watching his family having fun.
After all the excitement, it wasn't difficult to get Larry to sleep. Though Larry agreed to sleep on his own bed, with Cookie accompany him, Harry was still worried.
"Call me when you need me, okay?"
"Okay, mummy."
Harry kissed his son's forehead once again before he left to his own room. He felt excited himself, somehow he knew the reason Draco bought the puppy was to make Larry wanted to sleep on his own bed, and he couldn't blame his husband for that. He missed Draco too.
And he wasn't wrong. The moment he stepped into the room, Draco pounced on him, trapping him under his body, not that Harry wanted to run away.
"I miss you."
Harry gently kissed his husband's lips.
"Do you miss me?" Draco asked huskily.
"Yes, Draco." Harry tightened his clutch on Draco's neck, letting Draco to support his body weight. "And right now I need you too. So much."
Draco grinned. He easily lifted Harry body and carried him to their bed.
Ö
A few days had past, and even though Sirius never ask him what his decision might be, Bill could see that he wasn't keeping his hope very high. Bill was really worried now because Sirius was more depressed and lost even more weight.
"Sirius?"
"Yes?"
"I have thought about it. And I agreed to do that amnesia spell with one condition."
"Anything." Sirius' eyes glistened with hope. "I'll do anything, I promise."
"I want your word that you'll have the safe word, just one word or act that will trigger your memory back."
Sirius smiled sadly as he nodded. 'Then I would never have my memory back.'
"How about Harry?" Bill frowned a little. "Aren't you going to tell him?"
"Of course." Sirius silently added, 'I'll write him a letter sometime later.'
Ö
Bill looked worriedly at the older man. "Do you remember me?"
"Billy?" Sirius turned his head. "Funny. Ask me that everyday and you'll make me wonder if pregnant people have memory declining cases." He grimaced as he tried to get up.
Bill only lifted his eyebrow at his new nickname. 'At least he doesn't forget me.' He quickly grasped his hand when he saw Sirius swayed. "Careful."
"I'm fine. I wish this morning sickness will go away soon. Of course since I'm only one month along, I still have to endure it for several months more."
Bill wanted to correct him that he was two month along but stop himself, probably it was Sirius' scenario in forgetting his past.
Sirius looked at his companion when he didn't get any reply. "I know I shouldn't complain too much." Sirius forced a small smile. "It was so nice of you to let me stay here, even when I'm having a baby, and I don't even remember who the father is. I guess I hit my head too hard when I fall."
Bill smiled. 'So that was his excused for his lost of memory.'
"Well, maybe you should ask Harry for advised. He had experience before. You still remember him, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right. And for your information, yes, I still remember you, Harry, Larry, and Draco. I even remember Jamie. It's strange that I only forgot the father of my baby."
'You're the one to talk.' Bill frowned. Sirius had been sleeping for two days after the spell. He woke up and had a new alter memory. "Are you hungry? I'll fix breakfast for you."
"Just tea please." Sirius answered from the bathroom. "I don't think I can take even a light meal."
Ö
Since Draco bought the puppy, Larry had been sleeping in his room again. Harry couldn't stop worrying about his son, and no matter how tired he was after the love making, he would keep himself alert whenever his son called for him.
When Larry did call him, he forced himself to stay wake enough to put on his robe and went to see his son. But when he moved, Draco was also awaked.
"Where are you going to?" Draco asked sleepily.
"Larry called me. I'm just going to see him."
"Stay here, I'll go get him." Draco got up with his eyes closed. He missed Harry's worried look when he almost tripped on his own feet.
Draco found his son sitting in the middle of his bed crying for his Mummy, Cookie sitting on his side was also barking, and it hurt his head.
"Larry?" Draco lifted his son. "Why are you crying?"
"Daddy." Larry sobbed. "Bad dream. I want Mummy."
"Shh, stop crying. We'll see Mummy soon."
"Can Cookie come with us?"
"No." Draco stared at the puppy. "Sleep here."
"But, Daddy…"
"It's here or the kitchen."
Larry pouted.
Draco ignored his sulking son, gave him to Harry and went back to sleep.
"What happened love? Do you have bad dream?"
"Yes, Mummy." Larry was still pouting. "Daddy wouldn't let Cookie come with me."
Harry smiled. "This bed isn't enough for the four of us. Let's sleep."
Larry nodded. Yawning once and soon was deep asleep.
That morning, when they were having breakfast, Larry was still sleeping in their bedroom; Draco's owl was giving Harry's his mail. Harry looked at his husband confusedly, who would sent him letter anyway.
"Open it, and you'll find out." Draco answered the silent question.
Harry slowly took the letter from the owl and even more slowly opened it. The letter was short, but the handwriting was familiar.
Dear Harry,
When you read this letter, then you'll know that I had Bill to help me spelled my memories. I had erased all about Severus and Remus from my memory.
Sorry I didn't tell you before hand, I'm just afraid that you'll try to change my mind. And please don't get angry at me, I admit that I'm not a strong person.
I just want to be happy.
Sirius.
PS : Call me when you're not angry with me anymore.
After reading the letter, Harry handed it to his husband.
"Are you angry?" Draco asked after he finished reading it.
"I don't know." Harry shrugged his shoulder. "Like he said, he only wants to be happy."
"Will you call him?"
Harry nodded. "I'm not angry with him."
Draco smiled. "Well, at least he's not sad anymore now that he doesn't remember about Severus or Lupin."
"Yeah." Harry smiled too.
"I'll better get going now. I need to see someone about my new project." Draco kissed Harry's head. "Continue your breakfast, Love. I'm glad to see you're more fill out now."
Harry frowned a little. 'Am I?' He didn't put on weight easily. The last time he did it, it was when he was pregnant with Larry. Maybe he too needed to have himself checked.
If by any chance he was indeed pregnant, he would be very happy, Harry smiled lightly, because now he knew that Draco loved him too, not only wanted his body.
Harry lightly petted his flat stomach. How he wished he was pregnant again. This time he would do things better.
Harry slowly sipped his tea. He sometimes felt guilty when he looked at Larry. For the first few weeks, he hated his baby. He was the reason why he once again lost his freedom. It was after he could accept the fact that he could never get away from Draco that he started to love his baby.
"Mummy." Larry ran to him, with his puppy in tow, took him back to the reality.
Harry did love his son, but when he lifted Larry and put him on his lap, it crossed his mind that he might have spoilt his son a little too much.
Larry kissed his mother's cheek. "Good morning, Mummy."
"Morning, Larry." Harry returned the kiss. "Have your breakfast. You shouldn't keep Ms. Pinxter waited."
"But, Mummy, I have to watch Cookie."
"No skipping classes, Larry, or your Daddy might change his mind and wouldn't let you keep Cookie."
Larry frowned.
"He could come with you to your classes if he promised he would be good."
"He will, Mummy." Larry quickly answered. "If he came with me to my classes, he would be the cleverest puppy in the whole world."
"I bet you're right." Harry laughed. "Come on, finished your milk. Cookie is drinking his milk too."
Larry looked at his puppy. In the usually empty corner were now set Cookie's breakfast and he was quickly finishing his share. Didn't want to be behind, Larry too finished his breakfast with no more objections.
Ö
Draco frowned when he looked at the young boy entering his office. He knew that arrogant, overconfident face and he didn't like it.
"It's you." That boy, Lucas Knight, was frowning too. "I thought it was a coincidence that the person who employs me is a Malfoy."
"Well, the displeasure is mine too." Draco was angry with himself; he should look at the file when Hermione told him about a young Medical Potions genius that he should consider employing. But no, he just said that he trust her judgement and agreed to employ him.
"Where is Mrs. Malfoy?" Lucas looked around, expecting the man that had charmed him to just come out.
"You should know that my wife is off limit." Draco growled. Genius or not, he didn't have to like this boy.
Lucas only shrugged his shoulder. "I like him still."
"Get out." Draco growled, he glared at the amused Hermione Granger Weasley, "Take him out of here and do what I'm paying you two for."
"Yes, Sir." Hermione tried to hide her smiled but she didn't think she did a good job of that. "Come with me, Lucas."
"That man sure has issues." Draco could hear him clearly even through the closed door.
"Well, he's just too possessive over Harry." Hermione tried to defend their boss.
"Harry? That's his wife's name?" Draco could hear laughter in his voice. "I'll be possessive too if I have Harry."
"Bloody Gryffindor." Draco growled. He looked at his desk and again he growled desperately. He really hated paper work. But new products also meant loads of paper work. Well, the sooner he finished, he sooner to he could go home.
Ö
Harry had spent the evening talking to Sirius and Bill. He could see the red head's affection and worry over his godfather and it made Harry relieved. At least now he knew Sirius would be alright.
Sirius had asked him a lot about pregnancy, he was still worry about his baby, but not in a distress way. There was a serene aura that the Sirius he knew didn't have.
Though he didn't agree that Sirius took the easy way out of his misery, he could see that Bill wasn't agree too, but he knew that like him, Bill too was glad that Sirius was happier now.
'So what if he forget about Severus and Remus?' Harry thought to himself. 'He was sure better off without them in his life.'
Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked tired. Sure that Larry had taken all his time and attention, but now that his son was sleeping, and Draco wasn't home yet, he should use his time for himself.
So Harry decided to take a good long bath. While shampooing his hair, Harry was imagining how Draco would react if he dressed up for him. It had been long time since he did that, sure Draco would be happy.
Harry carefully chose his clothes. He took more time to do the make up. This time he let his hair in his nature curl rather than have it straight like he usually did it.
Harry looked at the mirror and smiled. 'I'm ready, Draco. Come quickly.'
He almost jumped when someone knocked on the door. 'Why would Draco knock?'
When Harry opened the door, his world turned black.
21 May 06, 16:33 pm