My Own Private Paradise

Author: Hell's lil angel13

Summary: Before and after the journey to find Ray Brower, there was another one there. After their journey, what happens next? How did they change, how did they stay the same?

Disclaimer: see chapter one

Back Home

I stayed alert and ready for anything and everything the whole ride. It wasn't a long ride, but I knew what I had to do soon. I wasn't gonna go all the way to Portland. We'd be going right through Harlow, the same place where Ray Brower died just two years ago. I'd do something only two people would ever do: me and Teddy Duchamp. I'd jump.

It was getting dark when the train made it to Harlow. I waited until we were close to the Harlow/Castle Rock border and got my pack on. I looked towards the front. I noticed the bridge up in front of us. I had to jump before it unless I wanted a repeat of what Gordie and Vern did. No thanks, I'm alright.

We were on level ground and it was now or never. I walked to the very edge and looked down. The ground was whooshing past a lightning-fast speeds, and I was gonna fly onto it. I love you Daddy, I love you all my friends and family, I know I'm not the greatest kid you coulda had, but if I survive, I promise I'll...aw, the hell with it!

I jumped and rolled down the slight hill and landed in a heap. I waited for the noise of the train to completely leave before I got up. I was sore everywhere, but I was alright. I got up and kept moving. Soon, I'd be in Castle Rock and I knew exactly how to get there, as I had walked these very tracks the summer before, the image of a dead body fresh in my mind. Now, it's the image of Chris and Gordie, my best friends, alive and insanely bitchin, with me again.

I was a little bloody and I felt a storm coming on. I ran and ran towards my hometown. I could feel it coming closer and closer in my heart and right to my bones. I crossed the borderline and a wave of relief washed over me. I was home.

Everything was closed now and would be closed until Monday. I didn't mind, as long as I could see my boys again. I wanted to know how Chris was doing, his letters were very short and vague, which made me think that something was happening to him he didn't want to talk about. I was worried for him and wanted to see him right away.

I passed the church and a memory came over me. It was me and Chris and Teddy and we were eight. Teddy had just gotten back from the hospital for his ear and Chris was really hurting from his old man's last beating on him. We met up and ran away to the church together. I was thinking about Nate a lot, so we all had our problems that we needed to work out. We ran together to the church and hid there. We knew no one would look for us in here. We wouldn't be caught dead in the church unless four nuns and the pope were draggin us in by the ears. It became our hiding spot after that day.

I got to Chris' house and hopped over the fence. At the side of the house, his window jutted out just a little, but there was no way to get to the window to knock on it. I had to throw rocks at it and hope he heard it. He was a light sleeper, though, thank God.

I threw a few rocks and thought I heard something, so I stopped and waited. The window opened and Chris' head popped out and looked around. He looked almost the same as when I left him. His hair was longer and his nose looked a little more crooked than I remember, but other than that, he hadn't changed a bit.

"Chris!" I whispered and he looked down and his eyes nearly bugged outta his head. I smiled a toothy grin up at him while he started to climb out his window. "Hey fuckface, how ya doin," I said nonchalantly, as if I had just seen him earlier that day.

"Oh my god, Shawn! What are you doing here! I can't believe you're back! Is everything okay?" He hugged me and picked me up and swung me around and around him.

"Yeah, everything's great. I just ran away from Brooklyn, hopped a freight train and then jumped off, so that was awesome, and I—"

"You're even crazier than Teddy, Shawn. Only you," Chris said, but he was smiling at me, too. I pulled him with me towards the church and smiled back at him.

"I wanted to see you and Gordie. I missed you both, so much. And I couldn't stand my new school. I didn't have any friends and after all the trouble I got in there, I look like an angel here."

"Wow, you musta been like three days away from expulsion, huh?"

"Actually, I got expelled," I said offhandedly, but I didn't let him stop me until we got to the church. When we did get there, I told him everything about my time in Brooklyn. He laughed at a lot of the stuff that happened and I made it look like I was hurt, but I really wasn't. I didn't care at all, I was home and I was in Heaven.

Then I asked Chris what was going on with him while I was gone. He was happy to say that not much had happened in eighth grade and it was so boring without me there with them. Gordie got a girlfriend, named Poppy. Yeah, Poppy, I laughed when Chris told me, too. I thought he was joking when he told me, but nope, that's her name. I never met her before, but I guess I will soon, since she's still with Gordie.

"And no one's looking at you, yet?" I joked with him and he looked at me and smiled. I think that was one of the things I missed the most in Brooklyn, Chris' smile. It was so innocent and pure and rare, it lit up a room so fast. And I was one of the few lucky people who was able to see it more times than usual. Because Chris Chambers never had much to smile about, but when he did, it was a magical thing.

"Naw, nobody looks at a Chambers like that," Chris said a little sadly.

"You know, the girls I was with over the summer coulda liked you. But, if you went out with any of them, I'd kill you," I said and he laughed again. "Come on man, there's gotta be someone you like." I had to do it, I was gonna pry till I got the answers I wanted.

"Well, you know, there was this one girl I liked. You knew her, she left last year. She was cute as can be, she had these little freckles all around there—" he pointed at my face where I had some freckles—"and a scar on her neck. She was headstrong and defiant and the most awesome person I ever met," Chris said and looked like he was going into a memory/flashback mode.

"Oh Chris! I'm sorry, but I don't like you like that."

"Oh man! I'm such an idiot! I-I think I'm gonna die of humiliation now. Just leave me alone now, I'm gonna go to my little corner and slit my wrists. Be back soon," Chris said as we both laughed. Yeah, me and Chris dating, that's a laugh right there. But, we always joked about it like this, 'cause so many people said we should date. Guess who that was? Yeah, that's right, the dumb blondes.

Sometimes, the three of us think that they only say that 'cause they always see us together. And they think that I can't get any better than a Chambers apparently. If they only took a moment, just five minutes, to get to know Chris, things would be a lot different.

We talked for hours it seemed, just catching up on old times, just me and Chris. It felt nice to have it just me and him there, with no interruptions. For that short while, it felt like we were innocent little kids again.

I looked at my watch and noticed it was almost six in the morning. We had been here for over four hours. "We should get to sleep," Chris said and I nodded in agreement. I was definitely tired and could use a few hours of sleep.

So, we both laid down on the pew we had been sitting on together and both fell asleep. But, a lot of you probably know about the pews; they aren't exactly comfortable and don't really fit two grown fourteen-year-olds on them. Chris was able to lie down, but like that, I'd either have my head near his feet (no way would that be happening) or my head against his and both of our legs falling over the side (yeah, that's not too comfortable).

So, we ended up with Chris sleeping on the wooden pew (his back was killing him like a bitch for the next few days) and I was pretty much laying on top of him with my head on his chest and his arm around me a little so I wouldn't fall. If you walked in and saw us, you'd probably get some bad pictures in your mind...and we were in a church, which would just make that so much worse. But, I swear, nothing like that happened, me and Chris will always be just friends. That was what I knew, that me and Chris would always be just best friends. What I didn't know, but so wish I did, was that Chris would only be alive for ten more years.

We woke up late the next morning and I got that funny feeling that we were being watched. It took me a while to realize that it was Sunday and people would be coming into church soon...can someone say shit? "SHIT!" I yelled, waking up Chris.

"What's wrong?"

"We gotta scram before anyone sees us. And I wanna see Gordie."

"What do you wanna see that little fucker for when you got me?"

"Don't swear in church!" I hit him playfully and then pulled him up so we could leave and get Gordie. We went to his house to find him already awake and eating his breakfast, which he nearly choked on when he saw me in his kitchen again.

"Shawnie, what the fuck you doing here? God, c'mere and gimme a hug!" he yelled at me and I gave him a hug. Then, pulling Chris into a group hug, with me in the middle and one arm around each of their shoulders, I said, "It feels great to be back with my two favorite people. James Dean in my entire movie collection of him...and one of yous two."

Gordie and Chris both whacked me in the back of the head, but we were all smiling, just happy that I was back, and back home for good, I hoped. Of course, I still had to go to school here, and start really late, I'd probably have to repeat eighth grade or go to summer school. I'd check tomorrow though. Right now, I just wanted to hang with my boys, just like old times.