Harry awoke with a headache and no memory of getting to Hogwarts infirmary. His whole body ached and pained as he tried unsuccessfully to sit up from his bed. The castle was eerily silent as Harry looked around. "Hello?" He called his voice raspy from lack of use. His hand shook as he tried to throw off the sheets covering his body and after a moment of struggling he managed to get half of his body uncovered. Looking down Harry was amazed to see long bruises covering his arms and torso. Touching them lightly Harry felt the dull pain and frown. "What the hell happened to me?" He asked out loud surprised to see so much damage on his self.
"Harry, your awake…How are you feeling?" Madam Pomfrey appeared from behind the privacy screen circling his bed. Harry looked up in surprise his bruises exposed and instantly he tried to cover them up. Poppy just smiled as she stopped his hands and rolled his sleeves up further.
"I see they are getting better….Your still a long way from being healed Harry and don't even think of escaping here before I allow it." Poppy commanded rubbing a thick cream into his skin. Harry flinched at the pain but didn't pull away as his arm tingling with warmth. The bruises faded a bit more but still remained evident. "Professor Snape and Dumbledore were asking about you this morning…I'll let them know you're awake." She said gently watching Harry out of the corner of her eye as she worked more of the cream into his skin.
Swallowing Harry frowned, "Um…sure." He said finally feeling the distinct feeling that he had forgotten something big. Poppy moved from the bed and a sudden overwhelming urge to throw up his hands and cover his face hit him. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest as if he had just run a race. Closing his eyes Harry tried to regain some sort of composure before looking up at Poppy again, but the mid-witch had gone. Chiding himself on his emotions Harry silently lectured himself, 'Get a grip...Your losing your head over nothing.'
Approaching footsteps caused Harry to fight the urge to duck for cover as both Dumbledore and Snape appeared their expressions grim. "Harry, it's wonderful you're awake." Dumbledore covered, plastering a smile on his face as he conjured two chairs and took a seat beside the bed. Professor Snape ignored the chair, crossing his arms at his chest and standing at the foot of the bed.
"Thank you sir." Harry said cautiously, watching them both carefully. Dumbledore turned to Professor Snape before continuing to speak.
"Harry, I need to talk to you about your experience…" He started gently, watching for any signs of apprehension and was surprised to find none. "We were very worried for you when you came here…Do you remember why?"
Shaking his head Harry looked at Dumbledore, "I'm sorry professor but…I can't remember anything. I've been sitting here trying to remember but…It's not coming." At this Professor Snape stood straighter, if that were possible, and eyed Dumbledore.
"I'm sorry Harry…You don't remember the last few days?" He asked slowly a slight quiver in his voice as he realized the consequences of that statement. Harry shook his head his gut dropping to his feet as he watched the apprehension and fear on both the professor's faces.
Taking a moment Harry watched the two, words jumped to his tongue as an uneasy feeling filled him, "But I'm sure if you told me what happened I can remember…"
Severus stepped forward before Dumbledore could respond, "I don't think it would be wise Potter…Harry." He corrected and for once the name didn't sound menacing.
Albus nodded, "I agree with Professor Snape on this one Harry…The events were…traumatic enough. I don't want you to have invalid memories." He explained softly, taking Harry's hand in his own.
Frustrated Harry pulled away from the comfort, "Sir, if I can't remember…Maybe it's because I need a reminder…Something to help me jog my memories." Looking at the both of them.
"You do not need a reminder…" Severus hissed unable to contain the thought of trying to duplicate or describe the scenario to Harry.
"Once again Professor Snape is right….I don't want to try to duplicate it even if to remind you." Dumbledore explained gently covering for Snape's harsh words. "School should be starting here shortly, and I believe that you need to concentrate on that rather than the other."
Harry nodded, realizing that for now he would have to surrender for the moment. "How long have I been out…I don't even know what day it is?" He said as if just realizing it for himself.
Dumbledore smiled, "its August 28th…I have already taken the liberty of getting your school supplies and your trunk and Hedwig have already been moved here." He explained quickly, eyeing Snape.
Harry nodded surprised that he had missed about two weeks of his life and nobody was about to tell him why. Disappointed Harry tried to tell himself it was only a matter of days before Hermione and Ron were going to be there. "I missed my birthday…"
Albus smiled relieved that he could give Harry some sort of information, "Your friends know that you have been here and directed all there presents here…They are just waiting until you feel better to open them." Waving to the small pile beside the bed.
Severus watched Harry look at the pile with amazement as though he never really got used to having birthday presents. A sudden flare of hatred shot up in the potion master and it took all his self control not to apparate back to the Dursley's and make them suffer. Harry glanced up to see the darkening expression on Professor Snape's face and instantly felt his cheeks flush, "I'll open them later." He said tamping down the bubble of happiness. 'Of course Snape would think that I'm some spoiled child…Shut it Harry!' He yelled at himself. Albus turned to Severus and realized who the potion master was furious at as he stood at the foot of the bed clenching his fists. Harry however, had no idea and believed that Snape was angry with him.
Severus suddenly realized he didn't have a tight leash on his emotions and quickly excused himself from the bed stalking away towards the dungeons in search of something satisfying to break.
Albus turned back to Harry whose expression turned to embarrassment, "Harry, the professor isn't upset with you…" He soothed wishing he could just tell Harry the truth.
"Yes sir." Harry answered dutifully looking down at his hands trying to hide his embarrassment.
Albus refused, and dug his present out of the pile and handed it to Harry, "Please open it…." He said gently, his blue eyes twinkling.
Severus slammed the door to his quarters and only felt marginally better. His thoughts brought him back to the darkened room and the itch to throw something now consumed his whole being. Picking up several heavy potion manuals Severus threw them across the room enjoying the satisfying crash as they collided with the wall. Still the itch remained searching wildly around the room picking up a decanter of whiskey and hurled it across the room. Blindly grabbing what ever his hands made contact with Severus began to destroy what he could. In his chest he could feel the bands of pressure tighten as his memories drew him unwillingly back and suddenly he moved like a dervish grabbing plates and knives throwing them without heed. Ripping books off the shelves and smashing potion vials to the floor. He didn't realize he had been screaming until hands grabbed his shoulders trying to control the fury. Tears glittered hard as Severus reacted balling up his fist and pulling back is arm, whipping furiously around he managed to stop his fist before it smacked into Albus worried face. Shame replaced fury as he looked around and found both Minerva and Professor Binns standing amidst the destruction their eyes wide with fear. "Severus, we heard you screaming from upstairs…"The headmaster explained taking the potion master to one of the couches he hadn't destroyed. Shaking Severus let himself be lead sinking down into the plush upholstery, holding his head in his hands he felt the rage disappear.
"Minerva…Will you and professor Binns let everyone know that Severus is alright….I don't want him disturbed for the rest of the day." Albus ordered waiting until they had shut the door before turning to Severus. "It seems that when you want to destroy something your whole heart goes into it." He said gently sitting back from Severus giving him some space.
Snape wanted nothing more than to order Albus out of his quarters and continue with the destruction but he suddenly felt very tired. Taking a moment to collect himself and replace his emotional mask before turning to Albus, "I'm sorry if I scared anyone…That was never my intention." He whispered softly, his head hung low.
Albus chuckled at that, "You know I really wanted to do the same….I'm glad one of us can…I fear that I would destroy too many precious things." Pausing Albus examined Severus, "How are you taking this?"
This time it was Severus's turn to chuckle as he raked his hands through his hair, "Perfectly headmaster….can't you tell." Gesturing to the destruction. "I just…WHY! Why in god's name take EVERYTHING this boy had including crappy parents….Why set him up in this war….Why demolish him!" Severus screamed, feeling the bubble of anger flame back to life. The bands of anger leashing around his body and pinned him.
Albus gently touched Severus's shoulder fearing that any more contact would send him back into a spiral of destruction. "I don't know….I wish I could tell you that something will be paid back to this child after all this is done….But I can't." Hearing a helpless sob rack Severus, his dark hair hiding his face. "I hope…that things will be different."
"But what if they are not….What if this boy ends up like…." Severus whispered stopping himself before he finished his sentence.
"Like you Severus? Would that be so bad?" Albus asked shocked that his potion master believed himself a monster or worse.
Professor Snape laughed harshly, "Become a death eater, be tortured by the dark lord, hurt innocent people….Yeah, that is something I want every kid to sign up for."
Albus sighed leaning forward and turning his gaze to the floor, "Yeah who would want that soft heart you pretend not to have…Or the innocent people you have saved over the years….And being able to stand up to Voldemort every day to make sure innocent people survive this war."
"I am NOT the good that you make me out to be Albus…." Severus barked standing abruptly to pace.
"I believe that you are good…I wish you would see that in yourself but alas I can't force you to see what you don't." Albus sighed standing up from the couch he faced Severus, "I will leave you now that your okay. I will however, check up on you in the morning." He said walking to the door and shutting it behind him.