Hi All, it's your author LOTRchic19. I just wanted to let you all know that from now on, the CHAPTERS are going to be in one character's POV, instead of it changing throughout the chapter. This will continue until Axel's inevitable death tears. Thanks for all the reviews! Keep reading! It's getting good!
Chapter 14
She was gone. Gone from my life... forever. And no one seemed to give two shits. They all went on their merry ways, not knowing that my entire world had shattered. I sat in my room, staring at the white walls... desolate on the inside. I really did feel heartless. I felt nothing. Nothing mattered anymore. Kingdom Hearts, the Organization, being real again... none of it mattered without Zephyra. She also brought up the memories of Roxas leaving the Organization... memories I buried. Now, they played through my mind like a movie. Roxas leaving, Zephyra leaving, Axel's empty existence repeated over and over in a never-ending loop through my mind. What did having my heart matter if I couldn't have the one I loved with me? Why did I have to continue existing without her in my life or without my best friend? A portal appeared in my room. I took little notice of it, not even glancing away from the wall as Xaldin walked in. "Axel," he said. I didn't bother to even acknowledge him. He wasn't Roxas... or Zephyra. "Axel, this is getting ridiculous. She has been gone for over a week. She's not coming back. And even if she did, she will be turned into a Dusk. If half-breeds like her can..." Before I realized what I was doing, I had my hand around Xaldin's throat and he was up against the walls, my weapons in my other hand.
"Don't you DARE call her a HALF-BREED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NUMBER THREE?!" Xaldin's normally non-expressive face was looking at me in astonishment. The, he narrowed his eyes at me and pushed me off him. I let him, knowing if he said anything of the sort again I would kill him. He walked away from me and looked over his shoulder and smirked at me.
"You know Number Eight, if you're going to start threatening your superiors, someone might get the impression you were going to betray the Organization."
"You can't use that bullshit on me Xaldin. Superior knows that I have always supported the Organization."
"Ah, but let's not forget about your part in the uprisal we had not that long ago."
"You, and everyone else around here, know that I was acting on orders from the Superior." Xaldin shrugged at me and created a portal, getting ready to leave my room.
"People have a habit of forgetting." With that last note, he left my room, leaving me alone again. I fell to the floor, clutching my head as I felt tears filling my eyes. Nothing I did ever mattered to these Nobodies. But Zephyra...Zephyra appreciated everything I did. Except when I said I loved her. The tears filling my eyes started pouring down my face, and I started crying out, my throat constricting so that is was hard to breathe. Why couldn't see say it back to me? Why? WHY? I meant it... with my whole being I meant that I loved her. I may not have a heart, but I knew it in my soul.
"Oh my Kingdom Hearts, why couldn't she say that she loved me back? Why couldn't she just say those three words? Something to make my existence worth all this." I cried harder, gripping my arms tightly. I needed to feel something besides all this sadness. I raced out of my door, my hood pulled up so no one could see my face. I ran into the weapons room and grabbed a knife. I whipped my glove off and I slashed my wrist. "Please," I whispered, trying to force myself to feel pain. I watched my blood flow down my arm, but I felt nothing. The tears increased as I tried to cut myself again. Nothing. I saw the blood sliding like molasses down my arm. I know I had cut myself. It registered to me that I had done it. But there was no pain. Only greater sadness that I had come to this. I cut myself a third time, hoping with a bitterly small hope that I would feel the pain now. I dropped the knife. My blood splattered off the knife onto the floor and I fell to the floor in despair, clutching at my bleeding arm. There was no feeling of pain. I looked up to the sky. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! ZEPHYRA! ROXAS! WHY?!" I cried harder, barely registering that someone's arms were gripping me under my arms. Someone was talking to me, but their voice was so distorted I couldn't understand it. I just cried harder and harder. The sadness just wasn't giving up. It seemed like there was no end to the sadness. I didn't want to continue living like this. I shook the person holding me off me and grabbed for the knife again, ready to slit my throat, something to get me bleeding and keep me bleeding until the world became black. I brought the knife up, images of Roxas and Zephyra's faces if they could see just how far I had fallen. Someone grabbed my arm and pushed my pressure point, making me drop the knife. "NO! LET ME DO THIS! LET ME GO!"
"AXEL!" cried out the voice. It was Demyx. I looked over at him, but my sight was getting blurry. It was probably from the blood loss from my wrist. "AXEL! STOP!" His aqua eyes were wide and scared looking. I felt my world going dark.
"Life isn't worth living if you can't be whole," I meant that meaning Zephyra. But I think he took it another way.
"Axel, we're so close. Don't give up now." I felt myself falling and I saw in his face that he knew I was falling out of consciousness.
"Never lose your other half Demyx. It'll be the death of us all," was the last thing I remember saying before the world went black.
I remember waking up feeling sad again. I nearly cried, lying where I was, but I stopped myself when I heard people portal into my room. Someone bent over me and checked my wrist. "He will live. He has lost a lot of blood, but he will live."
"How wonderful to hear that," I heard Superior say in his monotone voice. The person who pronounced me to live I think was Xaldin. I opened my eyes and saw I was right about it being Xemnas. But the person next to him was Luxord, not Xaldin.
"And so the palsied individual joins the world of the existent." I sat up, grabbing my wrist and feeling it bandaged underneath my glove. I flexed my hands, still upset I could feel no pain... only the sadness of losing Zephyra.
"Yes, it is very strange that you, Number Seven, have come to this. It's almost like you have feelings." Superior's eyes narrowed briefly. "I do not like it."
"Sorry Superior. It won't happen again."
"You are quite right... it won't, because you are not allowed to leave your room unaccompanied. And don't think about trying to just walk out. I will know."
"Superior, I don't understand... I have been nothing but loyal to this Organization. Why am I under survaillience?"
"It is not our way to show emotions when on a mission Axel. You have violated that code by your emotional act." I stared at the Superior, and then at Luxord. I realized that he was being completely serious. I sat down on my bed, completely flummoxed. I sat looking at the floor as Superior and Luxord left my room. I went to the window and looked up to where Kingdom Hearts was being built.
"You happy now Mother Fucker? Everything I've done to make you real means jack shit. You don't give a rat's ass do u? You take all the hearts we give you, and yet you don't give us what we truly desire. But Zephyra," I turned from the window, still talking to the unresponsive Kingdom Hearts, "Zephyra was actively going to look for her heart and mine too." I touched my chest where my heart should have been. "She cares about me, even if she doesn't love me." Tears filled my eyes as a wave of sadness passed through me. I turned to face Kingdom Hearts. "You don't give a fuck about what happens to me. I bet you don't even have our hearts. Smite me if it's to be otherwise," I bowed mockingly to it, half expecting it to react to my taunts. I looked up at it with scornful eyes after waiting in my bow for it to 'smite me.' "Just as I thought, O Great Kingdom Hearts," I said as I stood up. "You are nothing but a mockery of a heart." I pointed at it and shouted as loud as I could, "WE AREN'T THE NOBODIES... YOU ARE!!" I lowered my arm and bowed my head to talk to myself. "Heh, this is really pathetic. I'm talking to a nonexistent doorway." I walked over to my bed and sat down. I laid down and turned my head. I swear a breath of gingseng passed by my nose. I cried softly, "oh Zephyra... I wish you were here with me now. Where could you be?"