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Chapter 10
Carlisle had led me back into the room were Emmett and Rosalie dragged me into, I never noticed how big and beautiful it was. It was simple and classic. The walls were all white, the widow hand cream colored curtain. The bed was kind size, powered blue bed spread, with a dozen pillows.
If our kind couldn't sleep why would they have a bed?
"Mia" came a velvety voice came a soft knock at the door
I looked up to see the pixie, inky haired Alice stood in the frame of the door way; with a meek smile.
"Hey Alice" I said softly
She looked around the room seeing if it was alright to come in. "Come in Alice this is your house" I sighed as I crossed my legs onto the bed.
She nodded and quietly shut the door behind her and sat next to me on the bed, grabbing my hands gently. "I'm sorry-"she began
I jumped up from her immediately "Please" I begged clenching my eyes shut "I can't I'm tired of hearing that" I whispered "There's nothing that can be done about it" I said sadly
I heard her feet shuffle and her pat her knees "Alright" she said with a squeak "How bout we get you all cleaned up" she said grabbing my hand.
I gave a slow nod, following her out of her room. God I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die- but wait-
'I WAS ALREADY DEAD!' I thought
I wanted to ruin everything that he held dear to him, to take away what made him happy, take away something so close to him, which he would change for ever. I wanted to get even and make him suffer. Why did he do this why?
I just want to scream in his face, and beat him to the ground so much that he is buried into the ground, like I should be. Not the living dead. Not a vampire. I don't want to live forever, I don't want to live forever while my son dies; it shouldn't be like that.
A child is suppose to bury there parents, but he would die; and I will live on.
"here we are" She said opening a white door that led into a small white bathroom, a single shower, with a toilet. Some towels and soap, a comb and a pair of clothes.
'I'll be hear when your done" she said with a smile
I gave a nod and she shut the door, I shrugged of my clothes, and turned on the spray waiting for the water to turn hot.
I finally got a chance to look at myself in the mirror, I gasped. My hair hands chained from the white curly color, to all sliver that it shined; it came into ringlets on my shoulders. My lips were bright red my lips fuller, my skin paler than the healthy glow I used to have; dark circles under my eyes.
My body was perfect, my belly not big and swollen. It was toned and perfectly flat, my breasts were larger, my hips were in proration. I was perfect. But what shocked me the most was my eyes.
The were burgundy, where were my sapphire eyes.
"Were are my eyes?" I whispered touching the mirror
I gave a sigh, and stepped into the shower shutting the glass door behind me.\
The water felt cold, I looked down it was on hot; as hot as it could go. Why was it cold, was I going to be cold forever? How could I live this life, not sleeping, not dreaming, not eating, not ageing, not being able to be with my family, or to be with my SON!
I screamed and smashed my hands against the white Italian tile of the shower, breaking it into pieces, I didn't care that I was running the Cullen's home; Edward Cullen ruined my life. I screamed and smashed my fist into the tile breaking it into peaces as it fell into the tub. I smashed into it so hard that I burst into the water main, and water was leaking everywhere but I didn't care.
The bathroom door burst open "Mia!" Came Alice's voice
She threw the glass door open which shattered onto the floor, she jumped into the shower wrapping her arms around my naked frame. I screamed and tried to push her away, but she held onto me tightly not caring that she was getting soaked.
"TAKE IT BACK" I screamed clutching onto her chest "JUST KILL ME PLEASE-PLEASE!" I Screamed as I sobbed into her chest "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME!" I Cried
I sobbed into her chest for what seemed like hours, she didn't move once as she rocked me back and forth. "Why-why would he do this?" I asked no one in particular,
After I could cry no more, I sat there with her holding me, I felt numb; I was nothing; I wanted to hold onto to something that mattered. And that was my son, I couldn't have him. Now I have nothing, I just wanted to fade away.
I felt Alice wrap a towel around me, and strong arms lifted me out of the shower; I buried my head into whosever chest that was, and clung to it. I didn't pay attention to any sounds, or the mumbles of the Cullen's talking; I was blank; a cationic state.
"Place her here" I heard someone mumble
I was placed onto a bed, covered by heavy sheet; why would I need sheets I could never sleep, why would I need a bed. Why would I need anything; I'm nothing but a walking corpse.
"Our kind shouldn't be here" I mumbled "We are nothing" I mumbled
I played with the fabric on the sheets, it was soft and felt like velvet; why did I need sheets; they couldn't keep me warm.
"Why do I need sheets-I won't ever get warm" I said " I'll never be the same again-how could a person damn someone to this" I said to no one in particular.
"Mia" came a women's voice
I looked up to see a breathtaking woman, she had pale skin dark circles under her eyes, with topaz eyes, and her lips were pouty and chocolate curly hair: she was a Cullen I had never seen before.
"My name is Esme Carlisle wife" she said leaning on her knees. "I know what your going threw" she whispered touching my cheek
I recoiled with a hiss "How" I said trying to get away from her.
She smiled at me warmly, her topaz eyes softened. She touched my cheek again.
"I lost my baby too" she whispered "I know what its like to lose a child" she whispered touching my hair running her fingers through it.
I instantly felt bad, I judge her completely " What happened to you baby" I whispered
She smiled " My baby died during child birth" she told me sadly "I know that pain I never seeing you child ever again its like-"
"A part of you is gone forever" I whispered, she nodded her head
I felt bad, I still had my son; she had lost hers forever.
"I'm sorry Esme" I whispered. She furrowed her head in confusion
She rubbed my cheek "Why sweetie"
"Because your baby died-and I'm being selfish-I still have my-" I choked
She shushed me grabbing her pale hands with her hands "You have nothing to feel sorry about" she began with soft eyes " Your' feeling the same hurt that I had gone through-and I'm going to help you" she said kissing my cheek "I'll be with you the whole way"
"We all will" came Carlisle voice
I looked over to so see the Cullen family beside Edwards, the looked at me with bright smile; but sad eyes.
They were willing to help, after I destroyed half of there house. Maybe they could help me with this life, I had time I'm mean I was going to live forever. They could help me with my bloodlust; and tried to get me onto there diet.
But they could never help me, no matter how much they tried to ease my pain of never being able to see my son.
I never even saw what he had looked like; I just wanted to see his face, what he looked like. Did he have my eyes, did he have my noise; I prayed that he looked nothing like the bastard that had raped me.
I hoped that he would have a happy life, even though I couldn't be there.