A/N: Holaaa. Thanks for waiting patiently. In my conversation with another writer, I thought I should point out that Madeline is pronounced like Madelyn (not mad-uh-line). Not that it matters a whole lot, but that's how I've always said it in my mind.
As Madeline slowly opened her eyes the next morning, her alarm clock taunting her menacingly, she noticed an odd sensation in her stomach. Not an unfamiliar sensation. She was nervous – but why would she be nervous at all? She was laying in her own bed in her mother's house on a Thursday morning. Only, last night she'd actually finally stood up to her dad about how he was ruining her life. She knew he didn't mean to – he would never purposely make her life hell, but he sure was. Didn't he know what it was like to be head over heels for someone? And if he thought she was just bluffing about moving out, he was dead wrong.
But why was she nervous? Maybe it was just all the change going on in her life at the moment. She'd never lived with her mother and that Howard guy before. Maddie thought it would be good to live with them for at least a while. She needed to get to know Howard, since he would be her future stepfather, and she adored Callie. Madeline couldn't wait to tell Callie that she was permanently moving in.
Madeline swung her legs over the side of her bed and scrubbed her hand over her face. She punched at her alarm clock buttons, and finally hit the right one, silencing it. Instead of the familiarity of her own bedroom at Nick's house; of walls covered in posters, her cozy furniture, and all her books, she was met with a plain white wall, bare furniture, and a mere single Van Gogh painting on the wall. After school, she'd definitely have to get started on moving some of her stuff over, and see if her mother would let her redecorate her room.
The teenager fumbled her way across the hallway to start herself a shower, planning out the day ahead in her mind as she washed her hair. Maybe after gymnastics, Gavin could go to the store with her and help pick out paint and some other decorations for her room. She couldn't stop herself from beaming at the thought of seeing Gavin again after school. Ten minutes later, she toweled herself dry, dressed, and then wrapped her hair up in a big towel.
When she reached the bottom of the stairs, the rest of the family was already downstairs. They didn't eat together at the table like they did at Nick's house. Howard was on his cell phone obviously talking to someone from his office, Callie was sitting in front of the television watching cartoons, and her mother was in the kitchen making pancakes.
"Mom," Maddie crinkled her eyebrows a little in surprise. Pancakes wasn't exactly a school day sort of breakfast. It was usually get up and get out as quickly as possible.
Lauren looked over at her oldest daughter and smiled as she flipped a pancake over. "Morning, sweetheart," she greeted her as she took a plate out of the cupboard.
"Pancakes on a school day?" She smiled as she came to stand next to her. Lauren set two pancakes on the plate for her and handed it over with a grin. She kissed her daughter's cheek.
"It's just something I wanted to do," she explained. Maddie didn't complain, and took the plate. She got out butter and syrup from the refrigerator. "Plus, it's a special occasion, with you moving in." She leaned in to whisper the last part because Callie didn't know yet.
Madeline smiled at her as she began to butter up her pancake. It just felt nice to hear her say it. It was proof that all this was actually happening; that she had moved out of her father's house and in with the one person he couldn't stand. It all felt like revenge, and her mother making her pancakes felt like a bribe, or an insurance policy to get her to stay. But Madeline didn't care. It was what she wanted. What her mother wanted had nothing to do with her actions. Maddie wanted to live with her mother, if not to get away from her father, to get closer to the other half of her family.
"Maddie!" A happy four year screeched at the commercial break of Dora the Explorer, which she hadn't taken her eyes off, not even for her sister. Madeline beamed as her sister grabbed hold of her leg. She picked her up into her arms and planted several kisses all over her face.
"Hey, munchkin," she set her down on the counter next to her pile of pancakes, "Guess what?"
"What?!" Her whole body perked up at the guessing game, and she looked at her sister expectantly.
"I'm gonna move in!"
The look of pure elation on her sister's face only further solidified in Maddie's mind that this was the right decision. She felt badly that Callie was left here all alone most of the time with no brothers or sisters to play with. Not that Madeline herself had much of a sibling to hang out with. She definitely would not miss Cody's conniving ways, and how he always seemed to torment her and get her in trouble.
"For forever?" The little girl checked, her bright blue eyes wide with hope. Madeline wished she could never disappoint her. Truthfully, she wasn't sure how long this arrangement would last. For now, it was great, but she still loved her father, Sara, and Cody. Maybe if her dad woke up and realized how unreasonable he was being, she might eventually move back in.
"For a while, at least," she decided to say. Callie wrapped her arms around Madeline's neck and giggled in happiness.
"Callie, here's some pancakes," their mother reminded them about eating breakfast. Callie nodded and her sister helped her off the counter so they could both go eat at the coffee table and watch Dora the Explorer. They both caked on the butter and drowned the pancakes with syrup, then dug in happily.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
Cody kept stealing glances at Nick as they ate breakfast in the dining room the next morning. What he was looking for, he wasn't sure. Was there any hint that he remembered what they'd talked about last night? When he'd walked in on him looking at pictures of naked women on the Internet? Cody wished the whole thing had never happened. It was embarrassing, to say the least. He'd played it over in his head several times last night and this morning, wondering how he could be so stupid, and what Nick thought of him. Nick must think he was some kind of disgusting freak. Hopefully, he'd forgotten about it, but Cody doubted he was that lucky.
"Baby, you need to hurry up. You guys need to leave in ten minutes," his mother reminded him, causing him to jump a little. She reached over and gave his forearm a little reassuring squeeze, looking at him lovingly. Cody gave her a weak smile and picked his spoon back up. He'd been so lost in thought, he'd completely forgotten about eating. He wondered if Nick had told his mom about what he'd witnessed the night before. They seemed to tell each other everything else. If anything happened in this household, Cody could always count on both of them knowing about it. Like last year, when Jacob Harper put a bowl of pudding on his seat when he wasn't looking at lunch, and gotten it all over the back of his pants so it looked like poop. His mom had to come in to bring him new pants. He was horribly embarrassed, and he was sure she'd never tell anyone about it because she knew how humiliated he'd been. Only that night, Nick had come into his room and asked if he wanted to talk about it. Yea, even stuff like that they told each other. So now his mom probably knew he'd been looking at boobies, and she thought he was some kind of creep.
Nick took a sip of his coffee and then turned the newspaper to the next page. Cody had been acting a little spacey this morning, and hadn't been very talkative. He hoped he wasn't still uncomfortable about what had happened last night, though he could certainly understand why. Nick didn't want to embarrass him anymore, so he decided to drop the subject for now. He hadn't told Sara about it, and he still hadn't told her about Madeline wanting to move out. He wasn't quite sure what he was hoping to accomplish, keeping it from his wife, when that very night she wouldn't be coming home. Maybe he could talk to her more before then and she'd come to her senses. Nick supposed he had the whole day to think up what to say to his daughter, and how he was going to explain all this to his wife if it didn't work out.
"Dad, is Madeline picking me up from school today?"
Nick had been mid-swallow with his coffee, and the question involving Madeline caught him off guard. He coughed a little as he swallowed his drink down and used the back of his hand to wipe at the corner of his mouth. After school. Madeline had gymnastics practice, of course. Maybe he could stop by the gym and have a word with her, convince her to stay, and he wouldn't have to tell Sara her stepdaughter was moving out. It would devastate her, and that wouldn't be good for the baby. Nick hated this little manipulative game Maddie was playing with him. She knew he loved her, and she was using it to get her way. No, he wouldn't be giving in to her demands to see Gavin whenever she wanted.
"Umm…" he looked down into his coffee and scratched the back of his neck. "No, I think she's working on a project after school, so you better get a ride with Luke."
Nick couldn't believe he was lying to his own stepson about this. He guessed he was just hoping things would work out and he wouldn't have to face the fact he'd been responsible for driving his daughter out of their home. Not that he thought he was being unreasonable, but it was because she was upset with him. And it really irked him that Lauren was making the situation so much more unbearable. She knew this was killing him, and she was loving every minute of it.
Sara must have seen that her husband was worried about something, because the next moment, Nick felt her hand gently touching his face in concern. He gave her a small smile, letting her know everything was okay, then turned his head just a little to kiss her palm. "You okay, babe?" She asked him gently.
He nodded and winked at her. "Yeah. Just got lost in a thought," he explained it away as he stood up with his coffee mug. He began walking to the kitchen as he quickly downed the rest of it, and ruffled Cody's hair as he walked by. "Ready to go, bud?"
Cody shoveled one last spoonful of cereal into his mouth and stood up, and began to rush towards the living room to get his back pack. "Don't forget your bowl, Cody," Nick reminded him from the kitchen. He had a tendency to forget when he was in a rush, but Nick didn't want Sara doing any extra work than she had to. Cody ran back and picked up his bowl, and set it down in the sink. He rinsed it out quickly and then ran back to the living room. Nick found his keys on the counter and met Cody before he could rush out the garage door. He put his hand on his stepson's shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Don't forget to kiss your mom goodbye," he reminded him, knowing Sara got a lot of joy out of these little things. Cody nodded and gave him mom a little peck on the cheek and told her he loved her. Soon, they were both out the door.
On the way to school, Nick couldn't help but notice that Cody was tapping his foot nervously, keeping his eyes pinned out the window. He'd continued to be standoffish as they'd ridden down the streets of Las Vegas to his elementary school. Nick hoped they hadn't reached a sore spot in their relationship. He'd obviously only raised a daughter so far, so he wasn't sure how secretive and embarrassed most boys were about…developing and sex. Nick made a mental note to call up his brother and sisters to ask about his nephews. He was pretty sure Cody was a little more uncomfortable than most kids. He was a bit awkward all around, and Nick feared it would only get worse once pre-adolescence set in. Honestly, Cody was the type of kid that he would pick on as a child. Not that he was proud of it. But he knew what Cody would be facing in middle school, and he would do his best to prepare him for how to respond.
"Are you okay, bud?" Nick finally asked after several minutes of uncomfortable silence. He wanted to have a good relationship with Cody. Well, they did have a good relationship, and he wanted to keep it that way. When Cody didn't answer, he glanced over and saw his stepson staring straight ahead, his eyes wide. "Cody?"
"I'm sorry I was looking at the boobies," he apologized out of the blue. Nick couldn't stop himself, and burst out laughing. Shocked, Cody turned his head to look at his stepfather. His face was red with laughter, and his right hand was covering his mouth in attempt to hide his amusement. "It's not funny."
"Nah…" Nick coughed and laughed, trying to compose himself, "No, I know, Cody. You just…man, I'm sorry." He chuckled again, rubbing at his chin. He had to admit, Cody was priceless sometimes.
"Do you think I'm disgusting?" He asked worriedly.
Nick looked over at him, and managed to knock off his laughing, because the kid was dead serious. "No, Cody," he assured him, "What you did was perfectly normal. Being curious about the opposite sex is part of growin' up. But that doesn't mean you should be lookin' at those websites. There's a minimum age for a reason."
"I just wanted to see what they look like under their clothes," Cody pointed out. "You're not gonna have me arrested are you?" He asked worriedly, remembering there had been a warning on several of the sites he'd been on. Cody didn't want Nick to hate him because he'd broken a law, seeing as he was in law enforcement and everything.
"Well, now you know, and no, I won't be arresting you. If we arrested every minor that went on a porn site, the prisons would be filled," Nick said, "And I expect you to stay off those sites, understand?"
Cody sighed. "Okayyy," he agreed, "Did you tell Mom?"
"No, man. I won't tell her," he said as he pulled into the drop off circle of Cody's elementary school. "But, I do want you to promise me that if you have questions from now on that you'll come to me, or some other adult you trust. Can you do that?"
Another loud sigh from the ten year old. "Fine. I'll try," he said, though he couldn't imagine asking Nick all the questions he wanted answers to. He already knew the plumbing and scientific stuff about it. All they showed them in school, though was black and white diagrams. He wanted to see what things really looked like. And what was it like to kiss a girl? He wanted to know all about grown up things. Somehow Cody knew that Nick wouldn't want to talk about these things with him, even though he'd offered. It was just the type of thing you had to figure out in private, Cody figured.
"Good boy," Nick told him as they came to a stop. "You have a good day, and don't forget to ride home with Luke. I'll call his mom."
Cody nodded and unbuckled, then got out the car. It was a relief to get away from the situation. Adults seemed to be able to throw around really awkward words with no problem – like sex and fallopian tubes and penis – and have no problem with it. If Cody even thought about those words, his face turned an embarrassing shade of red, and sometimes he had to laugh. Especially when his teacher started talking about testicles. It was just such a funny word, he couldn't help himself.
After Cody had left, Nick let out a big sigh and just shook his head, smirking. It was hard to remember what life was like as a ten year old, but to him Cody's thought process was quite amusing. As he pulled away from the school, however, he again began to worry about his oldest. He was pretty sure Madeline understood why he didn't want her around Gavin all the time, and she was just being stubborn. Nick got that she was really into her boyfriend and wanted to spend as much time with him as she could, but she had little personal time to work with. Sometimes he wondered how much easier life would be if she wasn't a gymnast. He quickly dismissed the thought, because he knew she'd never want to give it up.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
Later that day, Madeline realized all her workout clothes were still at her father's house, so she quickly had to go home to find something decent to practice in. Quickly putting her car in park in the driveway, she rushed inside, past her little brother watching television in the living room, and snagged a leo and some shorts from her dresser. It looked like they'd been freshly laundered and put away for her, probably Sara's doing. That would be the last time she'd have her clothes washed and put away for her, because her mother had stopped doing that for her when she was ten. She sighed and quickly shoved the items into a gym bag, and then rushed back down the stairs.
Cody looked up at his sister from the couch. "What time are you coming home tonight?"
Madeline squinted her eyes at her brother as she grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard. "I'm not," she said, "Didn't Dad tell you?"
"Tell me what?" Cody was oblivious. Madeline wondered what the hell her father was up to.
"I'm gonna live with my mom for a while," she slung her bag over her shoulder and took a bite of her bar, wondering what her brother thought about all this. He usually acted like he didn't care too much about what she did, but it looked like he was in thought, pondering what all this meant.
"Oh," he said a few moments later. "Okay."
Madeline didn't have time to have a long conversation with him so she made sure she had all her stuff and started to cross the room. "I'll be around later to get more of my stuff. See ya."
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
Meanwhile, Sara and Nick were both working at the lab, but on different cases. Sara had been assigned to a vicious rape case. The woman had survived, thankfully, but had been pretty worked up and upset, understandably. When Nick found out that his wife had been assigned the case, he offered to switch her, but Sara didn't relent. Her husband was the only person who knew about her rape all those years ago, and she most certainly didn't want anyone at the lab to know about it and feel sorry for her.
No matter how hard she tried to block her own rape out of her mind, after talking to the victim, it was useless. She was having awful flashbacks to that night, almost eleven years ago now, when she was attacked. With all her raging hormones because of her pregnancy, she was on the brink of losing it. She knew she should go take a break, or asked to be assigned to another case, but being Sara, it was out of the question. She had a job to do; to speak for the victim and get this bastard caught, and she couldn't let her emotions get in the way.
Standing in the evidence room, Sara examined photos of the victim, and ran her fingers along the blue bruises on her neck. The picture was meant to capture the injuries, but she couldn't help but shift her focus up to the woman's eyes. Her innocence had been stolen; she'd been violated in the worst possible way, and though time would help, she would never be the person she was before. Sara stared into her terrified, teary eyes and felt tears of her own stinging, threatening to spill over. She bit her lip and almost screamed when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, it's alright," Nick told her calmly, giving her shoulder a supportive squeeze, "It's just me." He glanced down to see what she was looking at and sighed. Nick really wished she would admit this was too hard for her, and ask for another case. Grissom would understand. "You okay?"
Sara tried to compose herself, but she knew it wasn't any use. Nick had seen how much this was tearing her up. Now he was going to be overly concerned about her, and he'd check on her constantly. It was really sweet and supportive for him to be so concerned about her, but sometimes Sara just wanted her space to deal with the memories. This happened every time there was a rape case.
"I'm fine, Nick. Do you need something?" She quickly tried to change the subject.
Nick shook his head and gently rubbed her back. "No, I just came to check on you," he didn't lie about why he was there. "Are you sure you don't wanna ask Grissom to switch your case? It isn't worth getting all worked up about."
If Nick wasn't sure she'd be pissed at his suggestion, her body language and response convinced him. She turned to him, hands on her hips and glared at him. Didn't he realize that when he said stuff like that, he was making her a victim all over again? Her rapist hadn't taken away her ability to do her job. He'd taken her sense of security, and she wasn't going to let him have anything else, especially eleven years after the fact. "No," she said quite firmly, "I really wish you stop asking me, Nick. Yes, it's hard, but I can do it."
Nick knew his wife well enough not to push her on this. He wished she would reconsider, but he didn't know how she felt. A long time ago, Nick had made the decision to trust Sara about how she felt involving rape cases, and not hound her on it. He didn't see how she did it, but she did. Nick looked into her eyes and held her gaze for several moments to see if she would back down, but she wasn't. He nodded his head and looked down for a moment. "Okay," he whispered. "But if it gets too much…"
She finished for him before he even had a chance. "I'll stop and take a break." Sara allowed herself a small smile. She felt a little bad for snapping at her husband when he brought up her feelings. He did love her, after all, and she was totally in love with him. It wasn't the worst thing in the world to have Nick looking out for her. "I'm sorry if I was short with you. I just don't want it to affect my job."
"I know," he leaned forward and kissed her forehead protectively. "I'm sorry if I kept pushing you about it."
Sara's cell phone rang, so Nick pulled away as Sara took it off its holder on her hip. The caller ID told her it was Cody, so she picked up right away. "Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Mom, I don't want Madeline to move out!" He cried immediately into the phone, distraught over the news that Maddie planned to live with her mother for a while. Sure, he liked to annoy her. That was in his job description as her little brother, but that didn't mean he really wanted her to leave.
However, Sara knew nothing of her stepdaughter's plans of moving out, and immediately looked at her husband. He was oblivious to what was going on, so he just looked over the evidence Sara had been processing. "What are you talking about, Cody? Maddie's not going anywhere."
Sara's eyes were still on her husband, so she didn't miss the deer in the headlights look that flashed across his face. Obviously, he knew something about this rumor Madeline was moving out.
"But she said she was when she came back to get her stuff," Cody explained worriedly. It sure didn't look like she was bluffing. Sara raised an eyebrow at her husband.
"Let's see if your father knows anything about it," Sara said into the phone, before taking it away from her ear and resting it against her shoulder. She just looked at Nick and waited for an explanation. "Nick?"
Nick ran one of his hands through his hair and let out a breath, wishing he'd thought of something reasonable to say. He hadn't, and now he was going to have to tell Sara the news. What was she going to think? Would she think he'd driven Maddie away?
"Uh…when I went to Lauren's last night, Madeline was pretty angry with me. And she…well, she decided she wants to live at her mom's for a while. I tried to talk her out of it, but it's just something she seems to want to do."
Nick braced himself, watching his wife's mouth open and close, but not being able to form words. This wasn't good. "She…she wants to move out?"
Nick had to look away from her hurt, devastated eyes. He cleared his throat a little and nodded, ashamed that he couldn't get Madeline to say; ashamed that he'd kept the whole thing from his wife and stepson. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I thought maybe if I talked to Maddie today after she cooled down, I could,"
Before Nick could explain any further, Sara just gave him a hurt look and walked past him, towards the break room.