Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, only Johnny XD

Disclaimer- I don't own anything except Johnny XD.

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A/N: OK I mention Hell's Angels...but not in a good way! Because the normal Hell's Angel, hate teen prostitution, hate strip teen, hate pedophile. They are all against this shit. So it's just because I was no idea what to use, I wanted a street gang, with motorcycles, and who have strip club, who haves drug, ect.

A/N: Normal print is the past, Italic is the present.

Chapter 4- My dear lovely Vodka

So it's time to skip a little time...its true! What the more can I say for my 8 and 9 years old? I was raped, 2 times a week. If I was lucky, I'd only get hit one time a day. At 10, things change...I was more rebellious. I dyed my hair in a flashy red, I wore my first perfecto. I smoked cigarettes with Johnny and Bruce (Lucas was playing soccer and he said that it was too bad for his health). And at 10, I took my first shot of Vodka...and not only once. I know I was so young...my mom was always working during the night. At 10, my mom was stripping in a club... (It was a Hell's Angel club). Sometimes, my mom would bring me to that club.

It's hard to believe how my little princess dream's were broken. My dad's gone, 3 years later, we leave the house, no more money, go live in a dirty apartment (near Johnny's house) with my step father. He was not working, only on his motorcycle or friend's car. And which friends? Hell's Angel...he was one of them. Like the father of Johnny. So you see the portrait now? Johnny and I were some kind of condemned to be what we are now.

Anyway, one night, Johnny and I were waiting for our parents at the back of the club. Where the alcohol was stored. So, two bad kids with nothing to do. We stole 2 bottles of vodka and went to join Bruce and Lucas.

We were at the park, chilling at the top of the slide with Bruce and Lucas, listening to Slayer (a big trash metal band) and of course, drinking vodka. I liked the sensation at the first swallow. It was hot in my throat. I drank another and another. It was magic. I was thinking that I was so strong and everything was okay. Here in the dark, with my buddies. I drank half of the bottle. I remember that Johnny and Lucas were so sick. They barfed in the backstreet of the club. My mom was waiting for me with my stepfather. I laughed in his face. He took me by the arm with all his force. But I felt nothing inside my mind. I understood that vodka was my saviour.

Because at home, he raped me again. And I felt nothing. It's horrible when I think…I was just 10. JUST 10!! I was a fucking little girl! Not an adult. Same thing for Johnny. I mean, how can people do something like this at a child?! Ten years old, and like alcohol...the next step drugs at 11 but that is another story.

I put my pen down, I heard someone knocking at my door.

"You can come in!"

Johnny...he brought me some red roses and kissed me on my forehead. He looked tired and sad. And he sat next to me on my bed. I took his hand.

"Thanks, babe, for the flowers,'' I smiled.

"No prob, Scarlet,'' he returned the smile.

Since I was at the hospital, he was so cold with me. I think that he tried to hide his sadness and his pain. I could feel it by his breath.

"Scarlet, I talked to the doctor today, to know if it's possible for you to survive if you decide to take your pills now…,''Johnny stopped with a sigh.

"Oh no, Johnny, please don't cry."

I know the answer...he hides his eyes.

"And she said, no, it's true now that you will die in a month, probably. And I can't believe that you did that to me...I know it's your decision. But I don't know what I will do now.''

I could see a tear fall down on his cheek; I swept it away and kissed his hand.

"Be with me for now. And after, you will read what I'm writing and publish it," I gave him a small smile.

"You know, you're the best thing in my life. I mean, with you, I don't have to play the tough guy or a game. You're the one who understands who I am.''

"You'll find another one, in health. I'm happy because I will die. And I know all the pain that decision cause to you. And I love you, Johnny, more than anyone. And not only like a boyfriend, but like a best friend, too. I need you to stay by my side now. Because maybe I choose to die, but maybe I'm afraid too!"

Now it's my turn. I cried. He caressed my long black hair and kissed me on my lips.

"I'll be there Scarlet. We live together through too many things. So I will not let you live this alone.''

He stood up.

"So I need to go, I need to go class, because I made you a promise...I will have my diploma."

And he walked away.

The good fact about Johnny is that he never became a junkie. Oh yeah, he took 2 times or 3 ecstasy and took some marijuana but that's it. But like me...Johnny, me and vodka were beginning to be inseparable.

End of the chapter

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