"Miss Fawkes, pay attention!" Professor McGonagall's sharp voice cut through my dreams and I woke up with a start. I snapped to attention, startled, and Sirius Black sniggered two seats over. I glared at him when McGonagall turned back to the large rabbit she was turning into a pillow. "Now, as I was saying, when saying the spell, be sure you are clear and you wave your wand in a clockwise, then downward, motion, like so…" As she demonstrated, I began again to drift off.

To tell the truth, I really wanted to learn. Who knows when you need a pillow and you're lost in the forest. Heh, heh… However, I was exhausted. I had been up all night, reading about Quidditch by wand light. I'd checked several books out three days before, after my first Quidditch practice: Quidditch Through the Ages, An Amateur's Guide to Quidditch, Easy Broom Maneuvers and Helpful Tricks, and even one on broom maintenance, titled Take Care of Your Broomstick, and It'll Take Care of You! I'd read Quidditch Through the Ages and Take Care of Your Broomstick, and It'll Take Care of You! through twice each on Sunday, having not had much to do. It was the first Sunday I'd ever not gone to church, having been raised by a very pious father. I wondered why a castle wouldn't have a chapel, but then, perhaps the founders had wanted to be fair and had turned it into an office or classroom. I didn't let it bother me, though. It had given me time to finish my homework.

By breakfast today, I had already read every Quidditch book in the library I could find at least twice, and facts and statistics raced through my head all day. Severus, upon learning this last class (charms), had commented very fervently on the fact. "No human can read that fast! Their brain would pop!" were his exact words. Frankly, though, there are only fifteen books on Quidditch in the school library and the longest was only five hundred pages.

"Miss Fawkes!" I jumped, my left knee banging painfully on the leg of my desk. I winced and looked at the teacher. I grinned sheepishly into her stone-cold glare. She continued to talk, but didn't take her eyes off mine. "Now, everyone, it's your turn." She waved her wand and a rabbit appeared on every student's desk. Mine was black. Its nose twitched, making its many long whiskers dance around. Its huge eyes glittered brown. I smiled at it, and it began to sniff the air, raising its head a little, so that its tiny, crescent-shaped mouth was visible underneath. Its long ears were flat against its back, but one perked up a little as it sniffed. A quiet chirruping sound issued from it. It was the first I'd every been around a real rabbit. I'd never really been near very many animals at all.

"Sylistia, would you like to demonstrate?" McGonagall asked curtly. I started again and stopped scratching my rabbit behind the ears. I raised my wand and opened my mouth before realizing I hadn't paid attention to the word.

"Uhhh… er…" I felt heat flood my face, then drain from it. "I forgot the magic word, Professor," I squeaked sheepishly.

"The magic word," McGonagall replied, frustrated, "is 'please'. The spell you are using is 'Leporidae pulvinus'." Embarrassed, I repeated the words and waved my wand clockwise and down. Apparently, I hadn't done it right, because my rabbit only chirruped louder and puffed up a little. McGonagall shook her head. I flushed. Black sniggered again. I wanted to smack him.

...

"Alright! Everyone listen up!" Lucius's harsh tone made me wince. I was listening. How could I not? This was the most important thing that had happened to me yet. I sat nervously on the players bench in the changing room, twisting a green thread around my finger, as if for luck. No luck now; just skill from here on out. I'd read for days, weeks. I'd practiced hard and studied hard. Still, it was too soon. I listened to the impatient buzzing of the waiting crowd. The weeks had flown almost as fast as me.

"Now, the cloud cover should ease the sunlight, so you won't be blinded, but the wind is terrible, so you may need to correct for balance." Lucius picked up his broom and we all copied him. "Let's go, Slytherin!" He jogged out of the room and we followed suit. I clutched my old, splintering cleansweep tightly. I caught up to Lucius near the doorway, and he nodded to me. "Keep your eyes on the prize, Sylistia!" As soon as we ran into the pitch, the wind blasted us, carrying the shouts of mostly only Slytherin. I searched the nearest stands, a wave of green and black, waving silver banners and signs and screaming their hearts out against three times as many boos and catcalls. We strode against the gale, toward the center of the field, where Madame Hooch stood next to the Gryffindor team, headed by Frank Longbottom in his scarlet robes. Behind Longbottom, Potter raised an eyebrow and smirked at me challengingly. I was ready to take him on. My many weeks of practice had all been for this.

Lucius and Longbottom were made to shake hands by Madame Hooch, who didn't seem to notice how Longbottom winced at Lucius's crushing grip. "I want a fair game, all of you!" She glared at Lucius, who smiled innocently. Everyone knew Slytherins weren't fair.

On her whistle, the balls were released, snitch last, and we took off. I soared up towards the sky. I glance backward, where Potter was gaining on me fast… following me? The rushing wind did not deter him at all as he climbed ever higher into the low clouds. I lay flat against my broom and sped up.

He caught up quickly, now gliding upward beside me. I halted and he stuttered, going a bit higher before stopping and drifting down into place next to me. He ran a hand through his hair. I'd noticed him doing it lately; it seemed to be a habit of his. He smirked at me idiotically.

"Hey, Fawkes," He shouted over the wind, despite the fact that we were two feet apart. "Just to be fair, I'll tell you when I see the snitch and you can get a head start!"

"Oh, I don't think you'll have to, Potter," I quipped angrily, "because I'll see it first." Unable to think of a comeback, he floated back toward the pitch, scowling.

Smug, I turned around, searching for the little chip of sun I had trained myself to see. I heard the commentator, a mean Slytherin girl I didn't know particularly well, screaming about something and turned to see Lucius nearly fall off his broom, having been knocked by a bludger sent by Gryffindor. I winced as he righted himself, then sent the red-haired beater a very inappropriate hand signal. Enraged, the beater shot toward Lucius, brandishing his club menacingly. Lucius looked surprised and zoomed away, under the pretense of chasing a Gryffindor in possession of the quaffle.

I turned around just as a bolt of lightning illuminated the entire school grounds. Shrieks of surprise rose from the stands and the Gryffindor chaser dropped the quaffle, which Lucius caught and sent straight toward Gryffindor's goal. Frank Longbottom, the keeper, smacked it effortlessly away and the emerald-clad students moaned in unison. The commentator groaned, then yelled, "SLYTHERIN STILL IN POSSESSION! MAYBE THEY HAVE A COMEBACK?!" I looked over and saw her rising from her seat, eyes glued to Lucius, whizzing towards Longbottom, quaffle in hand.

Suddenly there was a clap of loud thunder. I almost fell off my broom. Equally as sudden, there was an ensuing downpour of freezing rain. I was instantly drenched. I heard cries of annoyance from the stands. They thought they were uncomfortable. Right about then, it occurred to me that the lightning was becoming increasingly more frequent and I was almost two hundred feet in the air, almost the highest point on the grounds. My only comfort was knowing that the Astronomy tower was a little bit taller.

I started to shiver. I felt like a wimp, but it wasn't my fault. I had a condition. I couldn't be exposed to cold temperatures for two long, because I go hypothermic almost three times easier and faster than normal people. Once, when I was seven, I got lost in the snow and had a seizure. I woke up three days later in the emergency room. Even as I recalled this, I shuddered violently. I feared I was about to let go of my broom. I held on as tight as I could and started slowly descending.

My fingers were already bluish and numb by the time I got to fifty feet. I felt my spirits dropping with my temperature and my altitude. I sighed. I was going to lose our first match. I felt so bad. I shuddered one more time, then looked toward the Slytherin goals. I turned towards the stands, then snapped my head back to the goals. There it was!! The snitch was hovering about ten feet off the ground, two inches away from the left goal. I drifted towards it, noticing that James was waving cockily to a row of excited Gryffindor girls. He wasn't paying any attention, the stupid git! Encouraged, I sped straight for the snitch. The rain pelted my face and the wind dragged on me, but I didn't care, I was going to win! I was so eager to grab that snitch… that I didn't even see the bludger, even as the crowd screamed.

I was about two yards from the goal and the snitch, when I felt the most terrible pain. I heard a sickening crack and let go of my broom. I tried to hold on, but my left arm refused to cooperate. Scared and confused, I looked up. The snitch was still there, as if taunting me. Cruel little bastard. I turned in time to see the bludger speeding back towards me. The blood left my face as I pulled up my broom, one-handed, and moved out of its way just before I lost my other arm. Shaking, and possibly bleeding, I took a deep breath and darted for the snitch. Unfortunately, it was at that very point that the golden ball decided to zip away. Cursing myself and high Heaven, I shot straight up after it.

I heard the commentator say my name, but didn't know what she said. I heard shouts and roars and thunder, but the storm didn't scare me anymore. I wanted to win. I was going to win! No one could stop me! Right on cue, Potter came out of nowhere. He caught up to and began to pass me. Determined, I struggled to push forward… or up. Potter glanced at me. He seemed surprised about something. He probably didn't know that I'd been hit.

"Give up!" he yelled over the wind and rain. "You're injured!"

"No, really?" I asked sarcastically. I kept going and ignored his continued inaudible warnings. The snitch took a sharp turn and began going parallel to the ground. I turned fluidly after it, and Potter faltered. I reached out with my good arm, holding my broomstick between my legs. I felt a trickle of warm blood whisper down my hand. My fingers were less that a foot from the golden wings, when a sharp twang of pain shot through the left side of my torso. It felt as if my arm were coming off completely. I winced and grabbed my broom. I saw James Potter's arm reach around me and grab the snitch. Then I fell.

I slid off of my broom, half blind. I plummeted toward the pitch, unable to do anything but watch as the ground rushed eagerly to greet me with open arms. I closed my eyes and heard thousands of voices screaming. Then I hit. I stopped falling. Strangely, it didn't hurt like I'd expected it to. I opened my eyes a little and saw Lucius's face, worried and tense. I hadn't hit the ground, he'd caught me.

"Sylistia!" He landed and jumped off his broom, kneeling and placing me carefully on the ground. Looking up, I saw Dumbledore and McGonagall rushing towards us. "Amycus!" Lucius yelled. The short beater rushed forward. "Go fetch Madame Pomfrey, quick!" Carrow nodded and ran off to do as he was told. A crowd was upon me now, all asking stupid, pointless questions.

"Did Potter push you?!"

"What happened?!"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

I only had ears for one voice…

"Sylistia? Can you hear me? Say something!"

"Sev?" I groaned. I saw him and Lily leaning over me, both pale and frantic-looking. "Ohh… no. I lost?" I looked over Severus's shoulder. James Potter stood a few yards away, ashen and scared-looking, despite the fact that Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were avidly pounding his back for winning. As I was picked up by someone's strong but gentle arms, I thought he even looked a little bit ashamed of himself, hanging his head and looking at the golden ball in his hand with a look that said, "What have I done?"

...

"It's not so bad," Severus shrugged. "The potions helped, right?" They did. My arm was already healed and I could already feel my fingers again. I still felt horrible about losing the game, though, after trying so hard. Damn that Potter! Damn him!

I was in a daze, now. The potions Madame Pomfrey gave me numbed the pain, but made me tired and a little dizzy. Severus's and Lily's faces drifted in and out of focus, but my mind was fine, despite my horribly mangled equilibrium. Their solicitousness annoyed me. They'd been here all day, sitting on the edge of my bed while I healed, offering to go get me food or another blanket. I just wanted to go to sleep, but I couldn't tell them to leave. They just wanted to help.

"At least you tried, dear," Lily placed a consoling hand on my forehead, brushing my lank, sweat-soaked bangs from my face. "That's really all that matters." Severus snorted.

"Yeah, right. Maybe for a Hufflepu-" Lily glared at him, and his words and tone shifted mid-sentence. "-exactly, Lil! Good point! You played brilliantly, and that's all that we care about!" As soon as Lily turned back to me, he scowled and rolled his eyes. I almost laughed. I sighed and stared forlornly at the plate of food they'd snuck me at lunch. I was too depressed about losing to eat.

"How's James?" I said it before I knew it and didn't know why. Maybe I just wondered if he was sorry.

"Fine," Severus spat angrily. His eyebrows lowered as he glared at the windowsill. "He sure isn't acting very remorseful." Strange, he seemed a little distraught when I saw him after the game, but then, I was a bit delusional. Still, it hurt to think he could watch someone fall a hundred feet, not help, and then not regret it.

...

CRASH!! The bottle of powdered Ginseng slipped from my hand, smashing into a million shards on the floor. Everyone stared at me. I felt stupid. I'd been dropping things since my arm had been broken. Madame Pomfrey had said it was only temporary, but it had been a week and a half already. I blushed as I swept my wand over the mess, magic-ing it away. Professor Slughorn looked at me nervously, then quickly continued to correct Remus Lupin on the correct way to add dried wolfs bane to his red, steaming potion.

I sighed and strode over to the supply cabinet for some more Ginseng. Returning to my seat, I saw Potter looking at me. I had avoided him since my fall, though for some reason it seemed like he was doing the opposite. Now I saw him staring at me with a weird look on his face… a look of… pity? Disgusted, I turned away. How dare he? How dare he take my Snitch and then pity me? Of all the nerve!

...

I stirred my soup absentmindedly at lunch, resting my cheek on the knuckles of my free hand. I wasn't hungry, even though I hadn't eaten breakfast and all I'd had for supper was a baked potato. I still hadn't gotten over losing that damn Snitch! Now, instead of clapping me on the back and congratulating me, Slytherins passed me in the hall or the dungeons and threw me solicitous looks, concerned glances. This was not how it was supposed to be! It wasn't fair!

I was surprised to feel tears stinging my eyes. I stood up suddenly, nearly knocking Severus over.

"Sylist-"

"I need some fresh air, Severus." I used a tone utterly devoid of emotion, almost harsh. I left the table, swinging by rucksack over my shoulder and blinking back angry tears as I stormed out of the Great Hall, feeling the stares of curious students burning into my back. It's not fair! I thought again.

Eventually, I found myself in an empty hallway. I had no idea where I was, of course, but I didn't care. I didn't even know what floor I was on. Now, I did let my tears fall. Hot streams running down my face. I wandered around aimlessly, even after the bell tolled. I hid in an empty classroom while students filled, then emptied out of, the halls. I emerged from the room into the again-empty corridor, wiping away the last of my tears. I hiccupped and shuffled my feet along the cold stone floor.

"Hey."

I almost jumped out of my skin at the sudden quotation. I spun around, wondering if I'd been caught ditching. James Potter emerged from the shadows towards me. He smirked, but it was more like a grimace.

"What the hell do you want?" I spat, hoping he couldn't see, in the poorly lit corridor, how puffy and red my eyes were.

"I…" He trailed off, looking at the floor, not so smug as usual, almost embarrassed. "I wanted to talk to you." I waited, patiently fuming. "I… I'm really…" It seemed exceptionally difficult for him to say what was on his mind. "I'm… sorry." The last word was very small and quiet. I almost didn't hear it

"W-what did you just say?" I tilted my head, leaning towards him inquisitively. I was nearly positive I'd misheard him.

"I said I'm sorry," He clarified. He looked me straight in the eye when he said it. He really meant it.

"What the bloody Hell for?" I snapped. "You didn't even do anything!"

"That's just it!" Potter retaliated. His face reddened. He was humiliated now. He had poured out his small, but heartfelt, apology, and I'd slapped him across the face with it. He suddenly rambled on, speeding up, his voice getting louder and higher. "I could have helped you when you fell, but I went for that Snitch instead, and I really am sorry, and now you won't even accept my apology!" By the time he was done, he looked positively infuriated.

"I… I didn't mean to-"

"I don't care what you meant! Forget about it! I guess that's what I get for trying to be nice for once!" He abruptly spun around and stomped away, robes swishing angrily around his ankles.

"James!" I don't know why I stopped him. He halted and turned halfway around to look at me.

"What?" He was impatient.

"I forgive you. I didn't mean to dismiss you like that. I was just… I'm in a bad mood." I hung my head apologetically. James slowly walked back towards me. He didn't seem as angry as before.

"Where're you supposed to be, anyway?" He asked casually.

"Transfiguration," I answered quietly.

"I'll walk you, if you want."

"I don't want to go to class." I started off down the hall.

"You want some candy?" James asked nonchalantly, running a hand through his messy hair. I looked at him inquisitively.

"Um…? Sure? I guess so, but where would we… um…" I looked around, as if expecting a gumball machine to pop out of the wall.

"Promise not to tell."

"What?" I was starting to get confused.

"I'll show you something cool," He looked at me, one eyebrow raised mysteriously. "But only if you swear not to tell anyone." Intrigued, I nodded.

"OK, I promise."

...

"I don't get it." We were in an empty hallway, and James was searching for something.

"Hold on, I know it's here somewhere." He turned another corner and grinned. "Eureka!" He took a few steps forward and stopped. He was standing in front of a life-sized statue of a grotesque one-eyed witch. Utterly perplexed, I watched as he took out his wand, tapped the ugly statue's stone hump, and whispered "dissendium." I stood gawking as the witch's hump opened like a toothless stone maw.

"C'mon," James jumped up and jumped into the gaping hole. Engrossed, I climbed up the statue, a surprisingly difficult feat, and jumped down.

James barely stopped me falling over when I touched the ground. We were in a narrow, cold, dark tunnel. I felt the walls, weathered stone covered in sticky cobwebs. I felt my way forward a few steps in the dark, before a light came on behind me. James had lit his wand and was trying to open his book bag one-handed.

"I'll hold that." James looked up. He nodded and handed me his wand. So trusting I thought. I didn't know where the thought came from, it was strange. Why wouldn't he trust me? I was an eleven-year-old girl. I watched, perplexed, as James pulled something out of his bag. It looked almost like metal or liquid, but, upon closer observation, turned out to be a silvery, pliable cloth. Hardly noticing what I was doing, I reached out and gently ran my fingers over the soft, air-light material. James let go of his end to close his bag. In the dim wand-light, it almost glowed. James straightened up and took back his wand.

"What… what is it?" I ran the cloth through my hands.

"An invisibility cloak," He answered offhandedly. He held out his hand and I returned the cloth to him. It was about the size of a cloak or a sheet. Without explanation, he threw the cloak over both of us. I didn't feel any different.

"What are you doing?"

"No one will see us when we come out the other end, now. This cloak makes the wearer completely invisible." James explained. "My dad gave it to my right before I got on the Express."

We walked along in silence after that, and eventually came upon a set of stairs leading up to a trapdoor in the ceiling. Potter led the way, charily opening the trapdoor and peering out. He helped me into a dim room filled with stacks of boxes and piles of barrels. A storeroom.

"Where are we?" I whispered, looking around warily.

"Honeydukes," he muttered back.

"Honey what?"

"Honeydukes, the candy shop in Hogsmeade." He glanced at me. "That's the town closest to Hogwarts. Once you get to third year, you can go to Hogsmeade on certain weekends, if you get parent permission. Honeydukes is the most popular candy shop anywhere around here." He led me up more stairs, to a door, which opened right behind the shop's counter. The store seemed closed. The lights were off and no one was there. I looked around, thunderstruck. The room was full of some of the strangest things I'd ever heard of: Cockroach Clusters, Pepper Imps, Chocolate Frogs, Acid Pops? Then some I could identify: nougats, toffees, chocolates… I slowly crept out from under the cloak and wandered away as Potter looked through a shelf stacked with things called Ice Mice, Fizzing Whizbees, and Jelly Slugs. I walked past a huge barrel of "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans" and stopped at the window display. I didn't see anyone on the street outside, so I ventured a closer look.

The sign said "Sugar Quills", and the display was two white feather quills supported on thin plastic supports. I reached out and gently picked one up. It was definitely not a feather. It was sugar. Spun sugar. It sparkled in the dim light streaming in through the tinted window. I tenderly placed the quill back in the display.

"You want it?" I started. James was right behind me, laden with boxes and bags of various candies. "Take it, it's all on me."

"Are you paying, or are we stealing?" I asked uneasily, but I picked up a box of Sugar Quills nevertheless.

"Sure, I'll pay," he shrugged. We moved up to the counter, and I grabbed one of everything as we went, even blood-flavored lollipops and exploding bonbons, which I didn't even plan on eating. When we got to the counter, James pulled out a bag of gold coins, which I remember as being called Galleons, and left the whole sack on the counter next to the register. James found a bag, and we stuffed our sweet treasures into it and left, through the trapdoor, down the long tunnel. James jumped up through the statue, then helped me out. The hall was empty, but it was getting late.

James and I split up our candy. He walked a ways with me, stuffing his cloak into his bag, and we talked about Quidditch, which led to classes, which led to friends.

"So… you're friends with Snivel- er, Snape, right?" I nodded. "I don't get it," James shook his head, amused. "What do you see in him?"

"I don't know… he's just my friend. It's simple." It was an honest answer. It was true. Friendship shouldn't be complicated. "I should probably get this to my room, before we get caught." James agreed and went off alone.

Ten minutes later, I was in my dorm room, munching on a licorice wand. I heard a tap on my door. I got up and opened it, but there was no one there. I looked down. A small pebble lay on the floor at my feet. Someone must have charmed it to fly down the hall. I walked into the common room and saw Severus waiting for me. Realizing I was still holding the candy wand, I quickly stuffed into my robe pocket.

"Severus?" I looked at him. "What are you up to?" I smiled in what I hoped was a casual, innocent way, and not a nervous, traitorous one.

"I could ask you the same thing." He walked towards me. I noticed one of his sleeves was shredded. "Where were you? You never showed up to class."

"I… I was really tired, and I forgot about class. I took a nap instead." He didn't look convinced. "Well… what did we do?"

"We attempted to transfigure a cat into a lamp, but…" He held out his tattered sleeve.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, and immediately felt embarrassed at my concern. Of course he was OK, or he wouldn't be here, stupid.

"'Course I am, silly." The hint of a smirk… "You know, we're missing supper."

"Oh, yeah, well I'm really hungry, let's go!" I was lying. How could anyone be hungry stuffed with all that candy?

As we left the common room, I wondered why I was lying to my friend. Was I merely keeping my promise to James, or did I feel like I was betraying Severus?