Chapter 7: Haunting Betrayal
My world collapsed utterly.
I couldn't think straight. I just…blacked out. My mind shut down and I began to tremble. I felt even worse now than when he beat my last night. Miroku took a step towards me and extended his arm as if to help steady me, but I flinched the way I did when I had my first run-in with him and stumbled back, crashing into lockers. I mean, who wouldn't? How else would I react when my boyfriend tells me he could've possibly slept with someone over the weekend! I didn't hear anything else, I just blocked it out.
He reached for me again, and I let out a fierce caterwaul, and his hands shot up to cover his ears. Wherever he was, I hoped my scream had been loud enough to alert Inuyasha. I hoped he was on his way here right now.
"Sango, please, try and understand…"
"Understand what, exactly? What do you want me to understand?" My temper flared and my eyes grew cold and distant again, but when he reached for me a third time, I flinched and whimpered.
"Leave—her—alone."
I glanced up and saw Inuyasha looming up behind Miroku, holding up one clawed hand in a menacing gesture. He certainly did look menacing, that's for sure. His fangs were showing, and his face was twisted with a look of rage. His eyes had the faintest tint of red in them, and pale, demonic markings slowly became visible on his cheeks. His ears were flattened into his bristling hair and he stood rigidly with a look of utmost hate on his face.
"I'm just trying to—"
"I said—'Leave her alone." Inuyasha reached out and grabbed Miroku by the front of his shirt, hoisting him up into the air with his demonic strength and growled, "If you don't leave my sister alone, I will personally slaughter you into little tidbits and serve you for lunch."
I felt weak at the knees with relief and pain. Relief because Inuyasha had heard me, and pain because I had still been betrayed.
My emotions battled each other fiercely and I struggled to keep up. (A/N: the " and are for the things against Miroku; the "/'s are for Miroku)
You should've listened! You should've listened!
/But he seemed so nice!/
So do stray dogs before they rip your arms off!
/That's different!/
How?
/…/
Hah! I thought so! Nyuck-nyuck!
/…Shut up…!/
You! And you know that Miroku really is a double-crossing backstabber! Admit it!
/He could be telling the truth… Shima could've really drugged him…/
Yeah, and I'm Mickey Mouse
/Louder, louder, the voices in my head
Whispers taunting, all the things you said
Faster the days go by and I'm still
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here/
Miroku looked helplessly at me, and then said, "Fine; I'll leave. Just let me say something first."
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, but threw him against the lockers and let him speak.
"I'm sorry, I really am."
I pushed myself back against the lockers and shit my eyes, trying to block out his sad, pleading eyes. I tried to, but failed. I still pictured his bright violet eyes, and I could still picture him when he wrapped his arms around my shoulders at the lake and hugged me close—
No!
I told myself to forget. To forget him, our date, the time we spent together—all of it!
/Time in the blink of an eye
You held my hand, you held me tight
Now you're gone and I'm still crying
Shocked, broken, I'm dying inside/
Miroku backed up upon seeing my distress and said, "I know you must be hurting, so I'll leave—for now. But can you forgive me?"
"…I don't…know…"
Miroku sighed, and his shoulders sagged, but he nodded in understanding. "I know I messed up, and I'm sorry." Hs smiled feebly and said, "Maybe we can try again later…?"
I shuddered, and Inuyasha growled.
"Guess not." Disappointemt laced every word, but his weak smile didn't fade. "I guess we'll just have to see, eh?" Then, with another sigh, he turned and shuffled down the hall.
/Where are you? I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me, be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me/
I only noticed Kagome when she gently rested a hand on my shoulder and helped me up. I didn't flinch, but I whimpered as she unknowingly brushed one of my still-tender wounds from last night. She drew back, but I didn't say anything, and she inched closer to help me back up.
Tears streamed down my face, and Inuyasha pulled me into a protective, brotherly hug while Kagome murmured words of comfort to me.
I was deaf to it all.
By now we were late to class, and the teacher didn't hesitate to remind us once we stepped into class. Inuyasha and Kagome had the same class with me this period and Inuyasha let me lean on his shoulder as the two of them guided me to the row of desks hidden in the back of the room. There, with much prodding and nudging, I told them everything Miroku had told me before they had shown up. Inuyasha nearly exploded.
"I should've crushed his skull," he growled. "I should've killed him then and there."
"I wish I had known that sooner," Kagome hissed. "I would've thrown a rock at his head; a big one—forget the whole big-brother-thing!"
I didn't listen to them. I blocked them out, too.
The day passed in a blur, a streak of black in my eyes, with dapples of gray specking my sight and shadows edging my vision.
/Shadows linger only to my eye
I see you, I feel you, don't leave my side
It's not fair, just when I found my world
They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart/
By lunch, Ayame, Koga, and Kagura knew what had happened. Every last detail I knew.
Koga kept repeating everything from "You should've listened to us" and "We warned you" and "Told ya!" until Inuyasha threatened to "knock his lights out."
Kagura was ready to rip Miroku apart with her Wind Fan, seeing as she could control wind, while Ayame blamed Shima, she even blamed Hiten and his girlfriend.
I wanted them to shut up. Someone make them shut up!
/I miss you, you hurt me, you left with a smile
Mistaken, your sadness was hiding inside
Now all that's left are the pieces to find
The mystery you kept, the soul behind a guise/
It was honest torture for me.
I saw him everywhere! Literally! He was in most of my classes, and he sat as close to me without actually sitting next to me or in the same row as me, and he "accidentally" bumped into me in the hall.
And I kept seeing that feeble smile just before her left…again and again and again!
/Where are you? I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me, be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me/
I left class as fast as I could when the bell rang. I didn't want to run into Miroku. Not yet. Not until I could figure out what to say and what to do. I hurriedly got my backpack and my books before racing outside towards Inuyasha's car. He wasn't there yet, so I let my backpack drop to the ground and leaned against the side of the door. I buried my face in my hands and sighed heavily.
I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to hurt myself for believing him. I should've listened, but then, I almost never listen to someone when they warn me about someone. That's one of my flaws, I suppose. I kept asking myself over and over: Why? Why did he do it? Why didn't he try harder? Why…?
/Why did you go?
All these questions run through my mind
I wish I couldn't feel at all
Let me be numb, I'm starting to fall/
The pain was intense.
The pain of betrayal, that is.
It hurt worse than the beatings I received on a regular basis. Heh. Funny. I didn't think anything else could be more painful that my father's beatings. I guess I wrong. I've been wrong a lot lately. They say bad luck comes in threes. I honestly don't believe that. It doesn't come in threes for me. It comes in years—sixteen, to be exact. I hope sixteen is the lucky number. Maybe I'll get good luck when I turn seventeen—if I live that long.
He's gotten worse. A lot worse. The things he hits me with are larger and heavier. I can temporarily tune out the physical pain—but I haven't practiced tuning out emotional pain. I don't think any amount of practice will help me tune out pain.
I wish I couldn't feel any kind of pain.
/Where are you? I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me, be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me/
/(Where are you?)
Where are you? I need you
Don't leave me here on my own/
Inuyasha gave me a reassuring hug when we reached my house. I forced a feeble smile and waved before heading in. He wasn't home. I'll bet anything he was out getting drunk. If that's the case, he probably won't be here until nightfall—maybe not until morning.
I went straight up to my room, as usual. I tried blocking out everything that happened today. I tried to force the thoughts away. I almost succeeded, if it wasn't for Miroku's pleading smile flashing through my mind.
/Where are you?
(I can't survive unless I know you're with me)
You were smiling
You were smiling
You were smiling…/