A/N: See? Longer! At least longer than 1,000 words. :S Review please!
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
"I didn't know where to go."
We were sitting in my office, of all places. This was the one place in the hospital that I was trying to avoid and it was the first place I thought of when he asked if we could talk.
"Of course we can." I'd said, hoping he'd ask me what I thought about the upcoming election or the rising prices of milk. He'd glanced at House and the look on his face told me everything and more. So here we were. Me, sitting in the chair, and Wilson, sitting on the couch. Any other time and I wouldn't have suspected a thing.
I was stretching a hair band to death with my thumbs and he was watching with a look of sad sympathy. I wondered if he was sympathetic for the hair band or sympathetic for me. I'd be sympathetic for the hair band too. It was taking a lot of abuse.
"How is House?" He wouldn't make eye contact but I knew he was there. I commended him for coming to me. Something told me he thought I was taking sides. I needed to fix that.
"The same. Not any worse." I stretched the elastic one last time and let it snap loudly against my palm. I absently wondered why I was fidgeting so much. I never acted this way.
"How are you?" I think we said it at the same time and we looked at each other sheepishly. He was blushing and I was smiling sadly. I didn't respond and I waited for some clue from him.
There was nothing for a long time and I wondered if he was doing the same thing to me. I was about to say something when I noticed that, not only wouldn't he make eye contact with me, he wouldn't stop staring at the floor. He was trying not to cry.
"James, if you need time-"
"I'm considering resigning." The words hit the ground before I could suggest maybe going to see his family or some close friends out of town. My eyebrows shot up into my hairline and I fought to keep from getting angry.
I took a deep breath before saying anything, "I understand why you think it would be a good idea but I don't think-"
"I don't know if I can do this, Lisa." He hadn't called me by my first name since that one date we'd gone on years ago. I admit, it floored me.
"It takes time. You just have to give it time." I wanted to stand up and shout at him, shake him, slap him. Tell him that my best doctor was in the ICU because of him. Tell him that, because of his bad decisions, he almost killed his best friend. Every fiber of my being was telling me to scream at the top of my lungs. I didn't.
"I know." He was silent after that and I wondered if I should try to console him or let him brood. We sat there for a while and I bounced between trying to decide what to say and letting him have his inner battle.
"I don't know what to do." It was so small. The tiniest voice out of the most secure man I've ever met. I couldn't believe that this was James Wilson sitting in front of me.
"I don't either." That was the truth. I didn't. All I could find the energy to do was sit and stare. I was surprised if I got enough food in a day.
"Does it get easier?" He was looking at me but I think it was more looking through me. I looked up and I could feel the wetness running down my cheeks before I knew I was crying.
"Yeah, it does. It will." He sighed but I could see the gratefulness in his eyes.
We sat that way for a long time. The silence was awkward at first and then it became consuming, until it was comfortable. Forty-five minutes passed with us sitting there, staring and silent, until my beeper suddenly went off and I noticeably jumped. James looked at his watch and then looked surprised. He must have been losing time lately.
I checked my beeper and started to panic. It was the ICU. I had to calm myself down before I called so I didn't scream at one of the nurses on the other end.
"Dr. House is awake and he's asking for you, quite loudly. You might want to get up here soon, before he upsets Rebecca and she puts him back into a coma."
Wilson was still sitting on my couch when I turned back around. He'd heard my side of the conversation and knew it wasn't a severe emergency. When he saw the look on my face, his contorted.
"House is awake." It wasn't a question.
"Fully. He's asking for me. You should come up too." I clipped my beeper back onto my pocket and grabbed my white coat off the hook.
Wilson stood behind me, "Not now. Maybe later."
I turned around and looked at him again. I took a minute to really look and I wasn't surprised. He looked just as bad and I thought he would. I slipped my coat on and tried to smile at him again. It's hard to be encouraging when you're angry at the person you're trying to encourage.
"Don't be afraid to come to me again, James. Unless you really are resigning, then you can be afraid." I paused and let go of a tiny sigh, "I'm always here and I'm not taking sides on this. I'm here for both of you."
He didn't respond. He simply looked up at me, gave me a tight lipped smile and a mumbled thanks, and sidestepped out of my door. I wasn't taking sides, but he was.