Tales Told In Song Chapter 3: I Can't Stay Away, a twilight fanfic

"I Can't Stay Away" belongs to The Veronicas.

Summary: Before Bella gets the chance to develop an addiction to danger, Edward loses his self-control and returns to Forks.

EPOV:

I was going insane. I was past trying to control my need for her. I was growing much too weak. I longed to be with her, touch her smooth skin, inhale her intoxicating scent. My will power turned to dust when I let myself envision her perfection, her beautiful blush.

I had enough sense, from what had just crumbled helplessly, to call Alice and let her know I was returning. I dialed her number and quickly explained that I needed to go back to Forks. I was willing to grovel at her feet, for surely she would never forgive me for lying, for leaving, for hurting her so.

I got in my car and raced off at top speed. I needed to get there as quickly as possible. Now that the seed was planted, I couldn't control my longing.

After a bit of driving, I parked a few houses away, in case Charlie were to wake up. I walked painfully slowly to the house, in case a neighbor happened to see me. Not that I was sure who would be up at this hour…

I climbed up to her room to find that her window was open. I climbed in silently and gazed upon my Bella. If I could cry, surely, I would be.

Not wanting to wake her, I crawled in bed with her, carefully as possible. I longed to stroke her cheek, nuzzle my face in her hair, but that was out of the question. She would surely stir.

This is wrong
I should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away

Something about her face was off. Rather than the lively blush I was so used to, loved so much, was a blandness that scared me more than the prospect of being without her. Her expression was distant, as if all of her emotions had been melted away. Perhaps I was just blind to them. Maybe all the love she held for me prior to my colossal mistake was gone, taking the color I always saw with it. Did I really only see in her what I thought was love for me? I truly am a selfish creature, and this was just example A.

I looked around her bedroom. Her things were scattered about carelessly, opposite to the tidiness it used to hold. This was odd. My Bella was not a slob. On the other hand, she wasn't my Bella any longer…

Roses bloom
In your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away

I wondered what I would do when she awoke. I assumed I wasn't on her good side. Maybe she would be so angry with me she'd kick me out. That would certainly help. Now that I was here, I would never be able to leave on my own will.

I gave myself the opportunity to leave now. If I could just leave her alone now, I might save her another heartache, another mistake.

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I threw the thought away faster than I could complete it. There was no way I would be able to rip myself away now. I had made the decision, and now I would follow through. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be without her.

I was numb
For you I come
Night and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away

My life without her was nearly laughable, except for the fact that I haven't laughed a single time since I left. I was robotic, unfeeling apart from the excruciating pain of missing her.

I needed to feel alive again, for her to be mine, to accept me back. My life was useless without her.

I studied her features, taking her in greedily. It had been so long since I'd seen her; much too long. I was a fool to leave in the first place. The thought of existing without her was a stupid one, a revolting one. My life before her was obligation. After her sweet arrival, I had a purpose. I wanted to be alive, felt nearly human again.

I wish I could
Leave and never return
Baby, I know I should
But for you I'd burn

Still, I knew that my return would be as toxic to her as was my appearance in her life in the first place. I had put myself in a rut, put her in a terrible position.

Stay away
'Cause I can't stay away-ay

Despite my selfish nature, I truly wished that she would not accept me back. It would make it easier to know that I had succeeded at one thing: taking myself out of the picture. Perhaps she had a normal life ahead of her. It would be picturesque for her to reject me, and yet I couldn't bear the thought.

I breathed in her delicious sent and embraced her hungrily. I no longer cared if I woke her. I needed this. I had deprived myself for so long.

I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away

My sweet Bella…

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