Hi, I'm back Please don't expect me to update everyday, because I do have a life...but I'll update soon enough ;
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Akatsuki or Art is a bang, sadly.
Warning: General crack...
Note: Hidan's swear words will be replaced with random food and will be underlined. Zetsu's black side will be in bold
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The day was fine and sunny. The sea had calmed down considerably since the storm, and the boat swayed gently from side to side. All in all, a perfect day.
Hatake Kakashi yawned, striding out onto the deck, accompanied by a certain raven-haired Uchiha. None other than Uchiha Sasuke. Both of them had big plans for today, but Kakashi couldn't shake off the feeling that today was going to be the worst day in Team 7's life.
"Kakashi. What were you going to teach me again?" The smooth cold voice of the Uchiha broke the sweet silence.
"Well, I was thinking a huge workout with Naruto and Sakura. Then when they go to lunch, I could teach you the Tracking Hound technique. How's that?"
A scowl graced the handsome features. "With Naruto and Sakura? Is that really necessary?"
"I believe so, since I don't think I've worked them hard enough ever since we've been on the vacation."
Silence fell between them once again. It was weird, in a way. Uchiha Sasuke had come back to Konoha, apologizing to the Hokage, his teammates and sensei, and to the whole village. It was sudden, and Kakashi still suspected he was a spy. With what remaining dignity he had, Sasuke had been allowed to go back to Team Seven.
"Kakashi-sensei!" A yell from somewhere high above startled both of them, although only one looked genuinely surprised.
"Naruto? What are you doing up there?" Kakashi smiled back. The blonde haired boy was standing on the top deck, eyes looking towards the horizon of endless waters.
"I see an island! Can we land there and have some ramen? Please please pleeeeease? I haven't stretched my legs in days, Dattebayo!"
"Well...I was thinking of training the ship's gym today since-"
"Oh come oooooon, Kakashi-sensei! We could spare a day or two! It's a two week vacation, after all. We'll be fine! Dattebayo!"
Kakashi sighed. He had to put up with one loudmouthed ninja, although he had to admit he genuinely liked Naruto. "Fine, but we still need to get the training done."
"Yeeeeesssssss!" Naruto yelled in triumph. "Sakura-chan! Guess what? We're going to stop on an island! Dattebayo!"
"Really?" Sakura walked up behind Kakashi and Sasuke. "Is Sasuke-kun coming?"
"No." The Uchiha had a sense of coldness around him.
Sakura looked slightly downhearted.
"Oh come on Sasuke, we're going to train there and you'll be missing out," Naruto teased.
"Fine." The word was said with utter loathing.
Now, let's check how our favourite criminal organization is doing.
It was very dull for the Akatsuki, stuck on a bare island with nothing to do. Sasori had finally calmed down, and was no longer in the danger of throwing a tantrum. Deidara was nursing his broken arm, from when Sasori had thrown a tantrum. Hidan's detached head was now floating in the water a mile away from the island, still uttering curses, while his scythe and body lay on the beach. Kakuzu was counting his money again for the 1096th time since they've been on the island. Kisame and Itachi were competing. It was a competition about who caught the most fish. So far, the score was 287 to 3, with Kisame in the lead. Tobi was eating coconuts...again, but this time with Konan. Everyone had learnt not to steal 'their' coconuts. Zetsu was making friends with the plants again and Pein was off somewhere far away, developing a jutsu that was now believed, by everyone except him, to never be able to work. Then suddenly...
Hidan's detached head shut up, the shadow of a giant creature lurking behind him. His head turned, with difficulty, and found itself face to face with a boat. "Oi! Pick me up you lollipops! I'm having a little cookie trouble here you sherbet!"
"Did you hear something, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked tentatively, knowing the Uchiha was in a bad mood.
"No."
"I HEAR IT!" yelled Naruto triumphantly, glad that he had finally beaten Sasuke at something. He looked down into the water..."A DETACHED HEAD! STILL TALKING! OMG! DATTEBAYO!"
Kakashi sighed and glanced into the water. "This time, I don't think I can belie- OMG A TALKING HEAD!"
"What?" Sakura rushed to the side of the deck. Seeing Hidan's head, she threw up over the side, and fainted.
"Hn?" Sasuke looked into the water, seeing Hidan's head. Calmly, he grabbed a fishing net and scooped it out of the water.
"You candy cakes!" Hidan shrieked. "Jelly get me out of here!"
-A mile away-
"Konan-san, did you hear something?" Tobi asked innocently. The sound of yelling was floating over to them.
Konan heard it, perhaps more clearly than everyone else save Itachi, but she pretended not to. "Oh, don't worry Tobi, it was just the wind."
"You mean 'it was just Hidan,'" Itachi corrected.
Konan scowled.
"Huh? Hidan? I thought we got rid of him forever now!" Kakuzu looked genuinely disappointed at not being rid of his partner.
-Back with Team 7-
"Thank you candy!" Hidan snarled.
"A...talking...head...datte...bayo," Naruto said fearfully.
"It's just a head," an impatient Sasuke explained, knocking Hidan's head with a kunai.
"You pineapple lollipop cookie! What the candy do you think I jelly am?"
"I think we should find the body and reattach it," Sakura put in.
"TO THE ISLAND WE GO THEN! DATTEBAYO!"
-Two hours later-
"Is that..." Kisame pointed towards the horizon, where a large distinctive shape was forming.
"...a ship?" Sasori finished, looked equally surprised. He had been sure they would be trapped on this island forever.
"OMG A SHIP!! COME OVER HERE SHIP UN!! HURRY UP! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE AND DO MY HAIR UN!! IT'S FILTHY!!" Deidara screamed at the top of his lunges, running around in a circle on the sand...again.
"A...ship...a...ship...a...ship...a...ship...MONEY!" Kakuzu yelled with delight, looking around for the ship he could see for money before realizing they didn't have a ship any more. "Damn...OMG A SHIP!" he yelled, pointing in the direction Kisame was pointing in.
"ITS A SHIP! WE'RE GETTING RESCUED!!" Konan yelped, sprinting off to find Pein.
"What? A ship? Where? I can't see a ship!" Itachi yelled frantically, arms flailing rapily in the water while blind Sharingan eyes looked towards the land.
Tobi blinked, watching as the ship drew closer. "Is that what a ship is, Sempai?" he asked, plucking at Deidara's sleeve.
Deidara made a " expression. "You've been riding on one for the last 10 days before we got to the island you idiot!"
"But...but...I thought I was riding on one of your clay birds. Tobi is a good boy. Tobi was right...right?"
Deidara ignored him, going back to screaming "WE'RE GOING TO BE SAVED!" and running around, and was promtly joined by an enthusiastic Tobi.
-Back to Team 7 and Hidan's head
Everyone was crowded around the head, one looking confused, one looking suspicious, one looking excited and one looking plain bored. Match them up if you can. (A/N: Its easy)
"I spy with my little eyes, something the size of that head with silver hair, dattebayo!" Naruto smiled at Hidan.
"My head you dumpling," Hidan snarled.
"Yeah...now its your turn, dattebayo!"
"I spy with my ramen eyes, a coconut blonde hyperactive idiot!"
"Is it...Kakashi-sensei? Dattebayo!"
Hidan sighed. They had been playing this game all morning. He was about to reply 'No you muffin idiot, its you!' but something stopped him.
"THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE ISLAND!" Sakura shrieked, before fainting once more. Nobody bothered to catch her.
"Is that...ITACHI! I WILL KILL YOU!" Guess who...?
Itachi looked up with another fish in hand. "Sasuke? Is that you?" In his surprise, he dropped the fourth fish he had ever caught in his life. "You idiot Sasuke! You made me drop my fish!"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow and made a O.o face. Itachi? Catching fish? No way. "I WILL KILL YOU!" he repeated, jumping into the water and rapidly swimming, before realizing that the water was only knee deep.
Naruto's eyes peered onto the island, where, sure enough, a hyperactive blonde idiot was running around in the sand. 'Is that her?" he asked Hidan's head, which turned around to look.
"Hmmm...grape close enough...although I was originally thinking of you."
"Oh...Wait...Sasuke! I want to go swimming too! Dattebayo!" Naruto yelled, diving into the water, and hitting his head in the sand. "Ow...HELLO HYPERACTIVE BLONDE GIRL!" he yelled in the general direction of Deidara.
The 'hyperactive blonde girl' stopped in his tracks, looking suspiciously at the boat. "I AM NOT A GIRL...UN!" he yelled at them, before noticing. "OMG IT'S THE JINCHUURIKI!! CATCH HIM!"
But nobody did.
For one, Hidan's head was tied to the mast of the ship. Itachi was busy having a shouting match with Sasuke. Kisame was seizing the chance to catch more fish and beat Itachi. Konan was off somewhere with Pein. Tobi was too stupid to notice anything. Kakuzu was hijacking the boat while no one was noticing. Zetsu was deep in the jungle, talking to the various poisonous plants. And Deidara couldn't be bothered.
So Naruto was saved again...by a bunch of lazy and dumb criminals.
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There you go, Chapter 6...please R&R...please? Okay...well I hope you enjoyed it -poofs-