December 1st. I have been in California for over a month already, yet it feels like it has only been a week. The adjustment process went along much better than expected though. Kyla has evolved into my best friend; she is just so fun loving and happy that I'd be crazy to not want to hang out with her. And Ashley, well, she is Ashley – the girl I will never figure out. The weirdest part of it is I want to know everything that goes on in her mind. Ever since the night of Scott's party my first real weekend in LA, I saw something in Ashley that I can't stop wanting to see. I want to be the medicine that takes away her sadness. I just want to tell her that everything is going to be okay. I smile when she smiles; I'm happy when she's happy. The problem is that every time I try to get closer to her she pulls away – and I feel like the stupid one. The craziest part of Ashley Davies is the way that I want to be more than just a friend. Don't get me wrong though, we're really close as is, but I know there is more there. A lot more.

Since my mom finally felt comfortable letting Glen drive in LA he has been in charge of taking us all to school. Glen is pretty much one of the most unreliable guys on earth, so Kyla and Ashley have just been taking me to and from school everyday. This particular morning I hop in the backseat to find a weird silence. Ashley wore her overly large sunglasses alongside a frown. "Good morning?"

"Hey" "Hi" were muffled in my direction. If I didn't know any better I would think they were fighting, but I could be wrong. To lighten the mood I decided I should try and talk to them.

"Oh Kyla is that a new purse? Its really cute" I just noticed Kyla holding a big purse that looked incredibly expensive. As my question left my lips I heard Ashley scoff, then I saw her pull out and light a cigarette.

"Oh yeah my dad brought it to me last night…" She cautiously looked over at her sister.

"He's in town?"

"Yeah for the weekend. His band is having some concert Saturday night or something."

"Don't forget our lovely family dinner" Ashley joined the conversation very sarcastically, "yeah daddy comes home and we get to act normal for once. How exciting huh?" She looked so pissed.

The car ride after that was silent except for the low music Ashley had coming from the radio. As soon as we parked the car Kyla was off to go meet Aiden, not saying bye to Ashley or me.

"What was that about?" I needed to know what was going on. I mean, I knew Ashley's father was a sensitive subject but I didn't see why they were fighting or why Ashley was so upset. You would think she was happy to at least see him for a few days.

"Nothing." I looked at her with my don't give me that bullshit glare, "Okay, I don't know. Kyla was just pissing me off. No big deal"

"There's more than that. What's wrong?" I'm not retarded.

"Nothing alright." She started walking away, but I wasn't going to just let her off so easy. I knew something was wrong and I wanted to be there for her. There is something about Ashley Davies' emotional rollercoaster that makes me want strap in for the ride, even if I end up regretting it.

"Ashley" I start following her and she speeds up. You'd think I was chasing a five year old. "Ashley wait up" She kept trying to speed up but I managed to catch up to her, grabbing her by the wrist.

"What Spencer? What do you want?"

"Look I don't know what the hell your deal is but seriously stop taking it out on me. I'm just trying to talk to you and you're being so immature about it." Gosh, I was fuming. She noticed my anger. I think the janitor did too for crying out loud. Her features softened dramatically and she sat down against the nearest wall practically slamming her head on the concrete.

"You're right. I'm sorry" I sat down next to her putting my head against hers.

"It's okay Ash, but seriously, what's bothering you so bad? You really didn't have to make me chase you across school too" I said laughing, trying to lighten the mood somehow.

"She's just.. Ugh!" We looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before she broke the contact and stood up, grabbing my hand and pulling me up alongside her.

"What?"

"Skip with me?"

"Now? Are you crazy Ash? Where would we go?" I won't lie: I love her acts of rebellion.

"It doesn't matter. C'mon, lets get out of here before the bell rings" With that we were back in her Porsche driving to who knows where, but it felt good.

Ashley's P.O.V

I think what bothers me the most is not that I hate him, but that I love him anyways. He is my father, but he has never done anything other than fuck my mother to earn that title. He gets to parade around the world shooting his drugs and making money, but never ever takes the time so call his fucking daughter. So he is in town for the weekend – its Friday now and he flew in last night with like, 2 suitcases full of stuff for Kyla and I. I want to hate him so bad for abandoning me, but I can't. I can't not want him around no matter how angry he makes me. I hurt when he is here, but I hurt when he is gone – it's like that stupid Nsync song.

To say that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning would be an understatement, because I went to sleep on the wrong side of the bed. It was a mix of anger at my father for thinking he could make everything right with a few gifts, anger at Kyla for letting him get away with that, and anger at myself for still wanting to hug him. The outcome of the night was a nice big family fight – my dad deciding a bar and his hotel room would suffice, my mom screaming at him because according to her he should never have been let in the house, and the two daughters just pissed as fuck at everyone. Kyla wanted to make things okay and I guess I love her for that, but it doesn't change anything.

It was one of those days that was just beautiful. The sky was blue and pretty fluffy clouds kept passing us by as we rested on the grass. Lucky for us I keep a spare blanket in my trunk huh?

Yeah so I decided I was in no way going to be able to handle school and stupid people, so I skipped, and I made Spencer come with me. Why she actually said yes is beyond me, but hey, I won't complain. There is this doggy park a few blocks away from my house that I always just come to relax – and that I needed to do. I was letting Spencer in just by bringing her here, and I didn't even know why I let myself do that.

"So what's up Ash?" Spencer asked turning her head to face me. We had an iPod laying in between us, a bud in each one of our ears, playing 311. She looked so perfect next to me. The sun shined perfectly on her beautiful blonde hair and she wore that Spencer Carlin smile – so confident and just so perfect.

"I'm just, ugh, I don't know Spence. I feel like nothing is working. My dad came back last night and yeah I missed him, but I hate him for just showing up and thinking he make shit right. It isn't right and it isn't going to be right. He shows up and everything sucks. My mom is there and they are fighting and screaming. What the fuck man they shouldn't be fighting like that they never even got married. Then there is Kyla who just hugs him and acts like everything is great. I can't be like that you know? I shouldn't be mad at her but I guess I just wish I could be as forgiving and understanding as her. It's not fair." I'm freaking rambling and I think in the end I'll end up scaring this girl away.

Spencer looked at me so sincerely that I wanted to just hold her and cry my eyes out. I didn't do that though, because she'd think I was insane. "Hey you know, it's okay to be mad at him."

"Yeah, but I think I'm more mad at myself for wanting him to stay."

"Why would that make you mad?"

"Because he's never been there, ever. Yet all I do is torture myself, wishing he was. I just wish I could be normal. I see all these families where parents kiss their kids – like tell them they love them and stuff. My parents have never told me that they loved me. My mom and dad got wasted, had sex, and now they hate each other. I'd give away everything just to be normal. It sucks" I was verging on tears here but there was something about Spencer that made expressing this all so much easier. She must have noticed my near-crying quivering, because she gave my hand a tight squeeze; the type of squeeze that told me she wasn't going anywhere, and that's just what I needed. I need consistency, and maybe Spencer can be just that.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I think you're normal." She smiled at me so perfectly, "Actually Ashley, I think you are better than normal. You're the best person I've met here, that's for sure."

"Do you really think that?" My ears must be deceiving me.

"Yeah, I really do. I think you should smile more, because when you smile the world looks nicer. I think you deserve so much more than you think you do, and I think anyone who wouldn't want you around is crazy." She sat up and grabbed my arm to sit my upright; "You always look so sad and hurt like if you've got this secret eating inside of you. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But I wouldn't be lying if I said I wanted to learn it."

"I think that might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." She was still holding my hand, but now her face was probably 4 inches from my own. She was slowly moving in closer to me and I felt her other hand touch my chin and she stared into my eyes.

"I think I want to kiss you"

…And she did; and it was perfect. Not the kind of kiss like, 'hey lets go have sex' but the kind of kiss that's like, 'you really matter to me'. If that makes any sense at all….

"I totally just freaked you out didn't I?" She was stammering and it was just so freaking cute.

"No Spencer, not at all." I smiled so wide because she had that effect on me. If I were a kangaroo, I'd carry her in my pouch all day, because that way I'd always be happy.

"Okay good." Now instead of just resting our hands together, she laced our fingers.

"Did you have any plans for today?" I'm gonna do it!

"Not other than this" What a cute smile..

"Do you want to come to my family dinner tonight? I mean I know I probably just made you think its going to be a war zone, but I think if you came it would make things so much easier. You really don't have to I mean I wouldn't be mad if you would rather go out or something - " She cut me off with her lips, again. I was rambling so I guess she had to shut me up somehow.

"I'd love to go to your family dinner with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really"

Sorry it took me so long for an update. I'm going to try and bring the next chapter up soon. I have good plans for it ! So let me know what you think of this one!