Stoics on sale
Kickers-ej
Disclaimer: WHY? WHY?!!! WHY IS NARUTO NOT MINE!!!!!????!
No 2 : The Bastard
"Iruka sensei! Help me!" Naruto wailed, flinging his shirts around. Iruka sighed, wishing that Kakashi would do his job properly and be here instead of him. Picking shirts for Naruto was not an easy task. He wanted to fulfill a lot of requirements. A lot of absurd requirements.
"You think Sasuke will like this shirt?"
"This shirt is not transparent enough,"
"I want to look sexy Iruka! Not innocent!"
"Ohh..I can see my nipples!"
Iruka rolled his eyes. It was already midnight, he really needed to go back to the academy and mark papers. He made his way to the front door, ignoring Naruto's protests.
"Really Naruto, I don't think you should worry about shirts. Sasuke never looks up," Iruka waved bye bye and closed the door. Naruto cocked his head to the side, never look up? Does this mean that Sasuke looked down? Sasuke looks at..
Sasuke likes to look at his ass! So it wasn't about shirts! It's about pants! Hot pants! Naruto merrily went to search for the perfect pants, just in case Sasuke decided to come visit him tonight, not that he ever did for the past few years, but hey, you can never be too careful right?
"Oh yeah, tight tight leather pants, I look delicious," Naruto wriggled in front of the mirror for some drama. He never noticed the guest standing behind him.
"Dobe," was the low baritone, calling for him.
"..." Naruto was stunned. That voice, only one person could ever make an insult sound like an invitation to romp. He wanted to turn to face Sasuke, wanted to see the bastard after years of absence, just then he remembered what Iruka said.
Sasuke never looks up
Oh oh! I should let him get a good glimpse at my butt! Naruto thought happily. With that he stayed that position, his back (or in his opinion, his butt) facing the avenger.
Unfortunately, Sasuke mistook his intentions. He stepped back, his eyes never leaving the only figure that made returning to Konoha worth while.
"I see," Sasuke said softly.
He saw my butt! Naruto shook in anticipation. It was only minutes now that Sasuke will jump him.
"You...," another step back.
Yes?
"You..," another step back.
Yess!! At this, various scenarios had formed in Naruto's head.
" You don't want to see me," at the window, the way he entered. Naruto was snapped out of his reverie.
"You hate me," Naruto only managed to get a glimpse of Sasuke's eyes as he uttered the words.
Hurt.
"I see," and Sasuke disappeared into the night. Naruto stood dumbfounded on the spot. The emotions in Sasuke's eyes had him fixated. Never would he imagined that such emotions exist in his bastard. He ran towards the window.
"Sasuke!" reaching out, he realized...
It was too late.
The Uchiha masion was always his home. Sasuke never thought otherwise. Itachi was also there, but the onslaught of events that nigth had him emotionally drained. When he met Itachi at the hall, he only stared at his brother, had this pained expression on (Itachi snapped one picture here, a dejected Sasuke was a sexy Sasuke) and went into his old room. He stayed on the bed, looking at the window. Itachi entered, with every intention of finding out what's wrong.
He sat on the bed beside his little brother. The bed dipped as the extra weight was settled upon it.
"Aniki," Sasuke murmured. Itachi inwardly swooned at the gesture, being matured was doing good to his brother.
"Naruto hates me," And his dreams of molesting his brother was slightly dented. It was about the Kyuubi?
"What should I do, aniki?" Sasuke never expected his brother to answer. If anything, he never expected Itachi to understand. He couldn't understand either, that's why he came back. To see Naruto.
To clarify.
"Let me hold you brother,"Itachi commanded, all the while already pulling his brother into his hold.
"You're already doing that idiot," Sasuke retorted. This was nice, the brother he used to have was here again. He sanked back into Itachi's embrace and Itachi pulled them to lie down on the bed.
"It will be okay brother, I am here," Itachi informed Sasuke. Sasuke said nothing. He was about to drift off into sleep when,
"Now let me grope you,"Itachi subliminally tried to persuade Sasuke to comply.
"You know I still want to kill you,right?"
The next morning the whole village gathered at the Hokage mountain, it seems that Tsunade-sama had important announcements to make. The Hokage smirked at the presence of the audience, oh yes...she is gonna be rich, baby!
A good sum of the populace was made up of girls...teenage hormonal girls! How promising. She cleared her throat, and immediately all eyes were on her.
"Ladies and gentleman, I proudly present to you a new service that will spread love and joy around!,"
The town began excited whispers, what new service does the Hokage have in mind?
"From now on, I will make the most wanted ninjas available for companionship and reserved for dates,"
"You will now have your own ninja boyfriend for as long as you can afford them,"
"It doesn't even have to be a date, you can just hang out,"
"Or ask for a sparring session,"
"You may also make them work for you, as long as it is not over the line of appropriateness,"
"Whatever the request, they will fulfill it!"
"I guarantee you that they will not harm you in any way,"
The town was buzzing with excited chatters, this was a grand idea! Now everyone can feel what it's like to have a ninja companion, and to top it of, they are the most wanted ones! The girls were silently praying, hoping that their idols were the ones chosen for this service.
"I now present to you the ninjas chosen!" she stepped aside to show a curtained stage. Drum rolls were heard.
"Hyuuga Neji!" Neji stepped out from behind the curtains, dressed in black leather jacket with a white shirt, black jeans and NIKE sneakers. The audience erupted in a heavy applause, girls screaming their heads out.
"Aburame Shino!" Shino also joined Neji on stage, sporting his normal attire but everything was in white. Even his pants were white, and obviously, even though Shino was thought to be the most transparent one amongst the rookie nine, the girls didn't think so. Cheers were heard, as well as devotions of undying love.
"Sabaku no Gaara!" Gaara made a dramatic entrance with sand as company. By this time some of the guys cheered as well, each hoping to play with the notorious sand nin. Half of the girls were already in epileptic shock.
"And may I also present, a rarity in this service. A ninja so exquisite that only I, your awesome Hokage can bring you," the girls that were in shock woke up, peering over the crowd to see who Tsunade was talking about.
Naruto gazed at the crowd, hoping to see if Sakura or Kakashi was there. He wanted to ask if Sasuke visited them last night, but all the commotion had him intrigued.
He heard the stuff about Neji and Shino and Gaara being sold as dates, and it was hard to say that he did not laugh his ass out at their predicament. He was also curios towards this seemingly special ninja Tsunade was blabbing about.
"People of Konoha, Uchiha Itachi," the curtains were drawn back a bit to reveal Itachi in his handsome glory, looking impassive as ever. He dawned a sleeveless black top with belts that dangled from his hips. Black pants hugged his legs perfectly, showing his defined form beatifully. He scanned the audience for their reaction, if they did not want him then he can just stay in Konoha without having to be sold. Then he can focus on taking pictures of his brother.
The town went deathly quiet, then erupted in a swooning, giggling madness. Girls snapped photos with their cameras and handphones, screaming to get the Uchiha's attention.
"Oh my god that is soooo hot!"
"I wouldn't mind being murdered by you Itachi!"
"A missing nin ? Awesome!" even some guys were excited. Itachi rolled his eyes, there goes his plan to follow his brother around.
Naruto gaped at the missing nin on stage. Was Tsunade out of her mind? Okay so maybe not, if the amount of girls screaming was any indication.. but still! Itachi! Sasuke will not approve! If he is in this village. At that Naruto sulked, he missed Sasuke. He wanted Sasuke back, not Itachi.
"And now. The main attraction!" Tsunade announced and the drum rolls were; if possible, louder than before. Naruto and the rest of the town stopped their cheering of Itachi to stare at their leader. Someone better that Itachi?
"Will you welcome, Uchiha SASUKE!!!" The curtains were completely drawn back, there in the center stage, was Uchiha Sasuke, in ivory wonder. He sported a white shirt with buttons undone, showing a glimpse of his chest. Blue jeans ripped at suggestive places hung low from his slender hips, barely clinging there. He wore no shoes, but being barefooted only added to his appeal. The town went silent, slightly confused at his presence.
"OH GOD!!!!SASUKE-SAMA!!KYAAAAA!!!!" that was the beginning of a phenomenal uproar. From girls, guys, young and old. Many tried to climb onto the stage to reach the returned prodigy, while ANBU was having a tough time stopping them. Tsunade smirked, she was gonna be filthy rich!
"I would die for you!"
"I don't care if you rape me!"
"Lets &#$#&!!!!"
"I'd love to have a one night stand with you!"
Meanwhile our beloved dobe just gawked at how handsome Sasuke has become. His eyes were darker, more intense. His hair a little longer, looked much softer after all this time. His lips fuller and took on a blood red rose color.
And his ass is waaaaay perkier.
Then Naruto saw that Sasuke turned towards Itachi and approached his hated brother. Oh no, he has to save Sasuke now right? The town had also trained their eyes on the Uchiha siblings, waiting for the event to unfold..
"Just like we practiced," Itachi smiled in a perverted way while Sasuke showed no emotion.
"Just like Tsunade threaten you mean," The younger one retorted. Sasuke turned his back towards Itachi and let his aniki embraced him, bringing their bodies into contact. Itachi's hand sneaked into Sasuke's shirt splaying his hand on Sasuke's firm stomach. His other hand crept towards Sasuke's lips, gently carressing the bottom one. Sasuke mock- moaned, just like Tsunade ordered. Itachi inhaled his brother's scent, before tracing his lips along Sasuke's neck.
Apparently, Sasuke did not need saving. Naruto clenched his hands...when this is over, Itachi is going to D.I.E! In the amidst of fainting bodies and bloodied noses(at the fanservice dispaly of incestual yaoi), Naruto needed a plan to win against all of Konoha, who now have access to his Sasuke.
The next is coming soon. In cinemas. Near you.