Courage Chapter 1: Courage, a naruto fanfic

Hello fellow fanfic readers!!

Sorry if you were reading my story Scars and you found out I deleted it. I wasn't getting a lot of reviews so i thought i was doing bad... so yeah. If you want the story back review these one-shot series telling me you want the story back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the song Courage by Superchick.

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Courage

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"Hey Ino!" Sakura ran to her friend.

Ino smiled at her friend. She was recently heading home to do... nothing except starve herself.

"Hey do you wanna come to the ramen shop with the girls and the guys?" Sakura offered.

Ino bit her bottim lip unsure of what to tell her friend. Which should she choose? Spending time with her friends, eat ramen and gain weight? Or reject the invitation, starve herself and lose weight? Both of them are important to her... but... she'll hate herself if she eats. She prefers starving for a while longer and then at the end be with her friends. Just a couple more days and she'll be thin. Just a couple more days and she'll be back to normal. Just a couple more days and she'll stop feeling pain. Just a couple more days and she'll be perfect.

"No thanks billboard brow. I just ate and I don't feel well. Maybe some other time." Ino felt bad for lieing to her friend. But she couldn't tell her friend of her... new found diet.

"But Shikamaru is going to be there." Sakura smiled mischievously.

Ino shook her head. She couldn't let Shikamaru see her... so... unperfect.

Yes, our Yamanaka Ino finally realized she likes our Nara Shikamaru. She never before realized how she loves his lazy smirk and his calm face when he watches the clouds. Ino never new she found his troubled face so cute. Or even his lazy attitude. She even began picking outfits to wear in front of him to catch his eye. Which she noticed she did... many times. When this occurred Ino began getting hopes. Hoping that Shikamaru likes her too. Hopping that they will date. Hoping that he will hold her in his arms. Hopping that he will kiss her. Hoping that they will love each other. But these hopes where ripped and smashed and burned when she witnessed something she didn't want to see.

"Really Sakura I don't feel well. I'll go home and take a nap. Bye!" Ino quickly ran the other way before Sakura can say anything else.

Ino's heart ripped as she ran. She hated the fact that she couldn't spend time with her friends when they go out to eat because she is so unperfect. She also hated that she has to lie to her friends. Ino didn't like lieing... but she's lieing for the best.

I told another lie today

And I got through this day

No one saw through my games

I know the right words to say

Like "I don't feel well"

"I ate before I came"

Her lungs burned inside of her and her head began spinning as she ran faster. Ino groaned and started walking. Besides she's already far away from Sakura.

Ino lifted her blue eyes to see the Konoha street, where her apartment is located. But her blue eyes widened when she saw him with their teammate Chouji.

"Hi Ino!" Chouji smiled.

Ino gave a small smile to her friend. Then her eyes drifted to the man who broke her heart and he didn't even have a clue that he did.

There he is. Nara Shikamaru with his lazy gaze and stance. There she was entranced in his dark lazy eyes that looked back at her.

"Hi Ino." he lazily greeted. Ino's heart pounded. She loves his lazy voice. Other might find it annoying or... boring but shse loves his lazy voice. To her it's... sexy. She dreams everyday that once day he'll use that lazy voice to whisper in her ears sweet things. But it all seems hopeless.

She lowered her head slightly and sadly replied, "Hi Chouji. Hi Shikamaru."

Chouji noticed his saddened friend. He knows the Ino has a thing for Shikamaru but he didn't know about him. Which caused him to see his female teammate sad almost every single time she sees or talks to him. When Chouji saw his friend go sad he would always like to get her happy.

"Wow Ino! You look great" Chouji exclaimed pointing to her. He noticed her body got thinner and more... bony. But he covered up those 'horrible thoughts' to thoughts that where something like 'her diets working'. But when he noticed a couple weeks ago that his friend began losing weight much to quickly he got worried. Espically when during training sh got tired really quick and she always turned down her offer to go out to eat with her friends. But Chouji pushed the thoughts away thinking it was all because she's sad about Shikamaru or something.

Ino lifted her head and smiled brightly.

She looks good! Meaning she's almost there and almost perfect. But... why not stop now. She does look good... but she doesn't look perfect.

Once again her eyes sadden.

"Are you coming to eat with us, Ino?" Chouji called out.

She shook her head and before anyone can do something she ran to her apartment, determined to stop even though she doesn't feel well.

Then someone tells me how good I look

and for a moment

For a moment I am happy

She ran up to her apartment and into her bathroom. Her clothes were quickly tore off and her eyes quickly drifted to her bathroom mirror.

Her eyes widened.

You could her ribs slightly and her hip bones. Her tummy was really in and her arms looked bony. Tears streamed down her eyes as she pinched her skin.

"Ugh!' She grunted as she realized she still needed more weight to go away from her body. She quickly got her scale out and weighed herself.

96lbs.

Yesterday she was 98.5lbs. She smiled sickly. How can she just loose two and a half pounds. That was unheard of! She needed to loose more weight... but how?

Her tears slowly slid down her face as she cried to herself in the corner of her bathroom. Her mind thought over and over how unbeatiful she is.

But when I'm alone

No one hears me cry

Shikarmaru gazed at her retreating form. Ino changed a lot. Physically. She looks thinner and weaker.

What's going on?

His eyes never left her back. Actually they never stopped looking at her when she's around. He found her spicy attitude and her sassy smile really... hypnotizing. But her innocent side that only he laid eyes on is more... captivating. He loves seeing her blush and sometimes oblivious to whats going on around her. Normally people would think Ino was outgoing and spicy! But only Shikamaru got the chance to see the innocent shy Ino. Rare but beautiful. Just like a diamond.

He sighed.

Onlly just a while ago he realized he was in love with Ino. At first he thought he liked Temari but he realized it was only looks. Yes, Ino is beautiful but when he got to know Temari better he realized she wasn't what he was looking for. No... Ino is what he's looking for. But he could never tell Ino his true feelings. She would probably give him a lecture of how they are just friends but thank him for thinking she's beautiful and probably add him to the list of guys that are asking her out. So he just decided to let life take his turns for him.

"Shikamaru, are you coming?" Chouji looked at his friend knowingly. Chouji also knew that his male teammate was deeply in love with his female teammate Ino. He really wanted to tell Shikamaru but he decided not to butt in. Why? Because he knew his friends needed to solve their problems on their own.

"Uh... Yeah." Shikamaru began his walk with his friend, his mind never leaving the blonde teammate of his.

Ino got up from the floor and redressed herself.

The walls began to spin as she got up. Her knees buckled and her stomach growled out in hunger. Desire for food filled her as she cried out.

"No! Ino! No! You will not eat! You are so close to reaching your goal! Your almost perfect! Don't ruin it for yourself you selfish girl!" Ino yelled at herself.

Selfish girl.

That's exactly what she is. Selfish. She never thought of the other people when they looked at her. Ino never realized how... horrible she looked day in and day out and how she let the people see the hideous girl she is. She was always busy thinking about her. It was always Ino this and Ino that. But everything changed. Now it's not Ino this and Ino that. Now, Ino, is thinking about the people around her or even Shikarmaru.

"Shika..."

She probably hurt him the most. He did always see her everyday.

"Shika. You had to see such a hideous girl everyday of your life... but everything is soon going to change."

I need you to know

I'm not through the night

Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

"It'll be hard but Shika I promise it'll be worth the pain." Her eyes drifted to the mirror in front of her. She gave a small smile but soon it turned grim. Why'd she have to be so ugly?!

Why couldn't she be perfect like...

"Temari."

Ino closed her eyes sadly. She back up to the wall feeling new tears forming in her eyes. Her body limply slid down the wall as the tears sailed down her cheeks.

Even though she has Shikamaru her and Shika will still be friends. He'll still be there for her. He'll always be there.

I need you to know

That we'll be okay

Together we can make it through another day

Something didn't feel right to him. Like he has to be somewhere other than here. He feels like somebody is begging for him to go and see them.

"Ino?" He asked confused.

"What's wrong Shikamaru?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

Shikamaru looked up confused.

"You said Ino." Naruto looked at him questioningly. Everybody stared at Shikamaru wondering why their friend whispered their other friend's name.

"Yeah... I was uh.. mind your own buisness!" Shikamaru growled.

The feeling still lingering on him but he decided to ignore it.

She can take care of herself.

I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful

She remembered the first time she realized she was ugly.

When she saw 'her' body...

FLASHBACK

I was walking towards the gates of Konoha to say goodbye to Shikamaru. I didn't need to go and say goodbye but I wanted to.

Why?

Well, because he's my teammate and he was going on a mission and... maybe... it's because I developed a feeling for him. Yes, I, Ino Yamanaka, like Shikamaru the lazy genius.

Anyway, while I walked towards the gates to say good bye I noticed he wasn't alone. He was with someone else.

I decided to walk closer but hid my chakra so he wouldn't recognize me. I lifted myself up on a tree where I had a good view of what was going on.

My heart hurt at what I saw.

I saw the boy that I like hold a girl in his arms. But it wasn't just any girl. She was Temari. The most oldest, beautifulest and most perfect ninja girl a live. So when I saw her wrapped in the arms of the boy I like it tore me apart. Because she has him and every other guy in town.

At first I was furious thinking why would a guy like Shikamaru be into a girl like Temari. Then it hit me. She's perfect. Everything a girl wants... Temari has.

She's blonde, smart, beautiful, out going, quiet at times and she has a better body then anybody.

Her arms are thin but not ugly thin. They are perfectly thin and toned. Her legs look long and slim yet curvy. Her hips and waist from my point of view looked curvy and thin. Her abdomen was the part i mostly envied. No love handles, no fat. It was thin and from the look of how her shirt fit it looked hard.

I looked down at my self and felt disgusted. My legs were curvy but fat and my stomach wasn't as flat as Temari's. I felt tears creep in my eyes as I realized all my flaws. I looked at her and looked at me and realized why every guy and even Shikamaru preferred her than me. I decided that I wanted the best for Shikamaru and I would let her have him.

As I walked home I decided I wouldn't give up without a fight. I am Ino Yamanaka. And I never gave up without a fight, even if this fight would really hurt me and tear me apart. All I have to do is reach perfection and it'll be all over. Since that day I decided to stop eating to reach my goal faster.

At first I was gonna stop eating for a week. But a week turned into a month and now I can't stop. I'm glad I can't stop because I will be reaching perfetion in no time and the pain will only last for a while longer.

END OF FLASHBACK

The day I chose not to eat

What I do know is how I changed my life forever

I know I should know better

There are days when I'm okay

And for a moment

For a moment I find hope

There was that feeling again. This time it was more urgent. And it all screamed 'Ino!'. What was going on? Why did he feel the need to comfort her?

When did these feelings start?

He remembered when they started. Ever since he came back from the mission with Temari he got these worrying feelings for Ino. He got urges to comfort her, to make her feel safe. But he always ignored them, thinking it was just his crush on her making him feel this way. But he decided to finally listen to what his feelings are telling him.

"Hey guys I'm gonna go." Shikamaru left without another word.

Why does she feel so light headed? Why is she feeling weaker than usual? Why does she not even have a little bit of energy left?

"Shika..."

She barely could cry out his name.

Her body was too weak. This scared her. She has never felt like this. Never in her life has she felt this pain or numbness and it scared her. The worse part is she knows what is causing her this pain. Her 'diet'. The lack of food is causing her this pain but she doesn't want to give this up. Even if she's feeling this pain and she's this afraid, she won't give up until perfection is on every trace of her body. If she has to go through this pain she'll do it but she won't eat.

What's wrong with me?

Why am I thinking like this?

Why do I hurt my ownself?!

I feel so alone...

Where are you... anyone? I need someone to help me...

Where are you?

"...s-s-shika..." her mind slowly slipped in to blackness.

Someone help me... Shikamaru help me!

But there are days when I'm not okay

And I need your help

So I'm letting go

The numbness left her body slowly and she regained some strength. Ino still felt weak but she is strong enough to lift herself from the floor and leave the bathroom. Her body guided her to her living room where she threw herself on the couch and turned on her tv to a channel. But not just any channel... it was a food channel.

Her tummy roared as her eyes witnessed the perfectly cooked food. Her nose was able to smell the food so well that her mouth watered. There it was again that feeling to devour something fried and salty. Her stomach began yelling out in pain for her to feed it. She ignored the feeling by rolling on her stomach and closing her eyes. Her head began spinning as she went back into numbness.

Her reached her apartment and knocked on her door. Nobody replied so he tried again. Once again... nothing.

Why isn't she opening the door?!

"Ino." He called out to her but she still didn't open the door. This worried him as he began banging on the door. He didn't want to knock down the door because he could be getting the wrong assumption and he would have to later pay for the new door she'll need.

"Ino!" He yelled louder.

"..c-co-coming..." a weak voice seeped through the wooden door. He barely heard it but he was glad she was home but yet he still worried at how weak her voice sounded.

A while later the door slowly opened and he was revealed Ino. But the Ino that was infront of him wasn't the Ino he knew. She was a totally different Ino. Her face was tear stained and she looked absolutely pale. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was a mess.

"Ino wh-" before he can finish his sentence Ino's eyes fluttered closed and her body limply fell into his arms. He quickly carried her and took her to the hospital, terrified at what's going on with his teammate.

Ino opened her eyes slowly as bright lights hit her vision. She closed them to avoid it. Her head began spinning and she felt nauseous.

Where am I?

She turned her head to avoid the light when she opened her eyes. Her eyes met brown ones and soon fear rushed throughout her body as she realized those pair of eyes belonged to her teammate, her crush, Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru?" Her voice sounded weak and scared. Weak for the lack of food. Scared because now he knew her secret. The secret that she kept for so long and feared if anybody found out what she was doing. Ino knew that what she was doing was known to people as anorexia but she didn't like to think herself as anorexic. Ino decided to think of it as a diet.

So when she found out Shikamaru knew she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what he thought of her. She didn't know if he thought her weak, ugly than before, stupid, idiotic, insane...

What does he think of me know?

"Ino... what were you thinking?" his voice surprised her. His voice mostly rang out anger but it also rang out concern and afraid. Why would he be concerned and afriad. Unless... he likes her... No... Maybe it's just because she's his teammate. Yes that's it. She's just his teammate and she will never be nothing more.

"Ino answer me! What were you thinking? Why did you put yourself in danger?!"

"I... I don't know." It hurt to lie to him but she couldn't tell him the truth... she just couldn't

"You don't know?! How could you not know?! You decided out of nowhere to stop eating an become an anorexic?! You decided out of nowhere to hurt yourself? Ino! Tell me why!" His eyes flashed anger, confusion, scared, and... love? No... it wasn't love. And if it was it was just love as a friend. Nothing else... nothing special.

Her eyes drifted to the white sheets that covered her frail body. This situation led to two options. First was to lie to him and keep her secret love from him forever and never have him or tell him and have him avoid her. Having him avoid her would be horrible but he would finally know. She wouldn't have to lie to him anymore. And maybe just maybe... he in the future could return the feelings. She bit her lip not knowing what to do.

He grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him. Her eyes widened at the concern and love that shined through his eyes. Ino always was with him and she never saw him like this... not even with Temari. Her heart fluttered at the possibilty. Maybe he does love her like she loves him. Maybe she can finally have him. Maybe she's finally perfect.

"Ino... why did you do this to yourself?" She felt tears fill her eyes when she saw how much he's worrying about her. Ino's heart broke when she realized she was causing him pain. Why does she have to be horrible? Why couldn't she stop hurting everybody around her?! Why wasn't she Temari? Why did she have to be Ino and go through all this pain? Hate filled her being.

"Leave me alone." Her eyes looked away from him as she shoved him off her.

"What do you mean leave me alone?! Ino your not okay! You need help!" He felt bad for yelling at her but he hated when she became stubborn.

"I don't need help! I am okay! Leave Shikamaru! I don't need you!" Ino glared at him as she seethed in anger. Why couldn't he just leave her and let her suffer for what she's done to him? Why is he making everything hard for her?

He stood there shocked. Ino never yelled at him like that. Her words burned deep inside of him. His eyes looked at the Ino in front of him. She looks so broken so torn apart.. so hurt. She didn't look like the Ino he loves. This was a hurt Ino. A very delicate Ino that needs to be treated delicately. One wrong word or wrong move he knew will break her.

"Ino, I don't know what happened to you. I don't know what caused you to do what you did. It would help if you could tell me but I can see you don't want to tell me. And I can't make you tell me but I want you to know that your not alone Ino. You can trust me. I'm here as a teammate and a friend. Maybe I have never shown it to you but I do care about you Ino. I do worry about you Ino. So does everybody else. I'm sorry if you never knew that but know I'm telling you. Your secrets that you keep are walls that keep you alone. If you trust me enough... we'll get through this. Together we'll make it through... some way... some how." He looked at her showing her he ment every word.

You should know you're not on your own

These secrets are walls that keep us alone

I don't know when but what I know now

Together we'll make it through somehow

Ino let her tears fall when she saw how much he cared for her. She didn't want him to think she didn't trust him. She didn't want to hurt him. She still doesn't. If telling him her secret ment showing she trusts him she would have to do it.

Ino flung herself at Shikamaru and held him tight. Her tears stained his shirt. He held her tight as he felt his own tears fall. Ino was in heaven and hated to end the moment. She separated from him and looked him in the eye.

"Shikamaru... I did this because... I wanted to be perfect for you. I thought that maybe becoming thinner and looking like Temari... the girl that you love... would make you love me. I Shikamaru Nara am in love with you." She closed her eyes to wait for his response.

She got her esponse but his response surprised her.

Ino's eyes widened as his lips met hers. But as quickly as his lips touched hers they left before she can even respond. But in that little moment where she barely felt his lips and yet had her heart healed she knew he loves her back. She knew that he never liked Temari. She knew that he thought she is beautiful. She knew that he thinks she's the most beautiful girl in the world. She knew that to him she is perfect.

"Ino, I love you." He cupped her cheeks as he looked into her eyes.

Ino laughed airly and kissed him again. This time making sure their kissed lasted longer.

"I love you too."

I need you to know

I'm not through the night

Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

I need you to know

That we'll be okay

Together we can make it through another day

Well this is my first one-shot! I hope you liked it! I'm sorry if I didn't describe the whole thing well. It's cause I have never been an anorexic but I love the song Courage by Superchick so i decided tto use it. Please Read and Review.