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Kickers-ej
Disclaimer: WHY? WHY?!!! WHY IS NARUTO NOT MINE!!!!!????!
I dedicate this to all the reviewers of role reverse.
No. 5: Icha Icha Panic
Chaos.
Orochimaru hung from a flag pole, adorning multiple bruises AND a purple bare-back dress. His hair was covered in butterfly clippers; face was in the finest make-up range courtesy of L'OREAL. People were crowding the town centre, and a few jounins were trying to get Orochimaru down. Whoever was responsible must be really powerful, for no one including ANBU noticed when it was done.
There was also the fact that Haruno Sakura mysteriously sporting near fatal injuries that had her retained in ICU for weeks. Her family, friends and boyfriend was distraught at such and incident.
Who could have done such horrors?
Sasuke smirked from his position, and then continued on to see Tsunade for his dates today. Ah…what a wonderful world! The birds were singing, a rainbow span the vast blue skies in such vibrant colours, flowers seemed to be sprouting dew! And to top it all off, a smiling, blushing Naruto was waving at him from a safe distance away, near the Ichiraku stand.
"Teme," Naruto greeted the young Uchiha, lowering his gaze in shy movements. Today Sasuke was dressed in denim from top to bottom, a denim jacket that stopped at the middle of his ribcage with a pocket at the left side. A white muscle shirt hugged his torso, showing off well-built muscles. Tight jeans ended with white leather boots that reached his calves, accentuating his lithe legs. Sasuke tipped his sun-glasses down, smirking at the adorable dobe, eliciting more colouring to the blonde's cheeks.
"Would you like some breakfast, Naruto?" the invitation sounded as if it was not about food, but something entirely different. Naruto grinned instantly and dragged said Uchiha towards the ramen stand. They took seats and Naruto ordered the "regular" whilst Sasuke opted for miso ramen.
"Ano sa, about that night, Sasuke…I..," Naruto was cut off when Sasuke smiled sincerely. The glow on the Uchiha's face rivalled the brightest gems and Naruto suddenly found it difficult for him to breathe.
"I know I misunderstood that night," Sasuke replied, while silently thanking the owner for his ramen. "Though I don't know why you wouldn't want to face me,"
"Eheheheh," laughed a sheepish Naruto. He broke his chopsticks, muttering an 'itadakimasu' before digging in. He took peeks at Sasuke from time to time, so many questions swimming in his head. How was Sasuke? What was he doing now? Does he still want to kill Itachi? Why hadn't he come home?
Come home to Naruto.
"Am I that ugly to look at, Naruto?" Sasuke stopped eating to stare intensely at the dobe who made him have those restless nights.
"WHAT!!!??? No! You're not ugly at all!" Naruto's hand gripped Sasuke's shoulder in a comforting manner. Sasuke was definitely not ugly. In fact, Sasuke was…
"You're..."
No. Sasuke IS…
"Gorgeous." Sasuke tipped his mouth to one side, making it look like a smirk, but also a lopsided smile at the same time. He was glad that Naruto thought he was gorgeous. He turned back to his meal, missing the fact that Naruto still had his hands on his shoulders.
AND the fact that the dobe was drooling, perverted thought rampaging.
Gorgeous-beautiful-pretty-smooth skin-MINE-black eyes-silky hair-adorable-molest worthy-cute-MINE-nice a...-long, flowing legs-MINE-firm muscles-grope friendly- slim waist- soft lips-MINE-perfect a...- oh god, such abs!-MINE!
Sasuke also failed to notice that Naruto's hand had oh-so-innocently ventured downwards from his shoulder, by-passing his shoulder blades and waist and dangerously trailing towards the hem of his jeans.
Naruto could not believe that Sasuke was so trusting! How lucky is that?!
He was about to go further when all of a sudden, a muffled noise snapped him out of his perverted glee, making him look up towards Sasuke's face.
Only to see WHAT THE HELL!
Kakashi was absent-mindedly licking Sasuke's cheeks. The man had a bit of his mask pulled down; his silver hair swayed a bit as he tilted in a different direction to cover more of Sasuke's face.
All this while Sasuke was staring with a confused look on his face, moving his face according to the man's hand gesture.
"DIE YOU PERVERTED A...H...E!!!!!!!" a punch connected directly to Kakashi's face, making a popping sound before it was replaced with a log. Naruto swivelled in rage to look for the idiot who dared to touch- much less lick! – his Sasuke. He darted out of the ramen stand.
"Kakashi-sensei?" a question from his beloved avenger had him turning back in two seconds flat.
WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!
Somehow Kakashi was able to get Sasuke on his lap, the Uchiha looking more confused than ever but made no move to get off. Oh why??! Why god did Sasuke have to be soo cute and innocent??!! But he had to admit, Sasuke being this way will make it easier for him to…heheheheheh.
During his mental debate, Naruto failed to hear the conversation going on between the jounin and the young Uchiha.
"Ah, there was some soup on your face, Sasuke. And if you don't lick off ramen soup from your face it might grow and grow and take over your face," Kakashi grinned and moved his hands so that he had a better grip on the Uchiha.
Sasuke stared for a few seconds, knowing that what Kakashi said was a lie. He made some attempts to get off but the jounins hold on him was strong so he opted to stay and hear what the idiot wants.
Then he will chidori Kakashi's a for interrupting his "date" with Naruto.
"OH! There are some on your lips as well, Sasuke! Let me…"Kakashi leaned in.
"…kiss it…"by now Naruto had come out of his daydreaming, and was met with the sight of KAKASHI LEANING IN TO KISS SASUKE!!!????
"…off you," Sasuke was already feeling a bit uneasy, pushing the man to get some space. Kakashi however, was gripping the raven's waist, effectively cutting off that attempt. Their lips were just merely inches apart. Kakashi closed his eyes and inched forward.
How soft, little Sasuke's lips felt like TWO FEET CONNECTING TO HIS FACE!??!!
The jounin stumbled back and glared at the meddling bastards that dare intrude on his romantic moment. He gulped when he saw who it was. Or rather, who THEY were.
Both Uchiha Itachi and Uzumaki Naruto were standing protectively in front of Sasuke. The young man tipped his head quizzically at the dispute going on. What is it with everybody?
Kakashi could feel cold sweat breaking down. Naruto was baring –gulp- Kyuubi fangs, red chakra swirling about him frantically. His right had was hosting the ever destructive rasengan, ready to hit a jounin's chest if he dared to continue that scene. He moved to observe the other one and felt a lump the size of a basketball in his throat. Itachi was calm, his face serene. But his eyes were already spinning with the deadly mangekyou, a gaze so sharp that you could literally feel it piercing, and stabbing you multiple times. Black chakra emanated from his body, surrounding him and giving Kakashi (plus bystanders within 100 mile radius) a sense of Armageddon closing in.
Crap. Jiraiya better save him quick.
"There you are my main star! What took you so long? Quickly, we don't have all day, you know!" talk about lucky, Kakashi hastily wiped off his bum and bowed a bit towards the sannin. Both Naruto and Itachi's chakra lessened and watched in perplex as Jiraiya made his way towards the young Uchiha.
"Man, did you cost a fortune to book. But it is all worth it! After this my Icha Icha: yaoi edition will completely dominate the market," Jiraiya signalled Kakashi to take Sasuke with them, pointedly ignoring Naruto's and Itachi's presence.
"WHAT!!!!" Ero-sennin was gonna use Sasuke for x-rated purposes so that he could write his perverted book??! Itachi growled low in his throat and made a move to stop the party before a hand grabbed him on the wrist. He turned to see THE AKATSUKI GANG??!! Even Naruto was distracted and failed to see Sasuke being kidnapped.
"Itachi-dana, unn. Today is the boss's birthday so we booked you for the whole day! Man, you couldn't guess how many guys we had to assassinate in order to raise money for purchasing you! UN!" Deidara tugged insistently at Itachi's hand to get them going. The rest of the Akatsuki members followed with mutters of 'bankrupt' or 'so damn expensive' and even occasionally a few 'there goes my life savings' and 'how the heck am I gonna buy the next Naruto comic?'. Itachi knew that it was futile to struggle, especially if it involves a persistent Deidara. He turned towards Naruto, an annoyed look marring his face.
"Kyuubi-idiot, as you can see I am in a bit of predicament. You have to save Sasuke while I try to get out of this mess," and with that he was poofed away.
Naruto did not have to be told twice.
This is reply for the reviewers! You make me more creative, encouraged…(AND perverted) every time you review.
IceCreamXD : Thank you! You were my first review. I get what you mean though, but I couldn't help it! I mean…come on, Naruto messing up and Sasuke misinterpreting! It's priceless. Thank you for supporting!
flame givvar : thank you! You are nice too!
Hawk wing : It is great to know someone love my story, let alone think it's funny! I thank you form the bottom of my heart!! If you want to read something (or a secret fantasy involving Sasuke) I'll try to fit it into the story! I owe it that much to you! By the way..
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I support the bunny!
Kuyeng 13: I am not tired to say this again and again! THANK YOUUU!!!!! You are definitely one cool character. If you want to see something in here, I welcome it. Though I don't think I can stray far away from Naruto-Sasuke. I am such a loser. And a Sap. and I love to see sasuke being innocent, get molested and protected by Naruto.
Shintas1st: Thank you, my most recent reviewer. I am pleased to be of service to you! Whew, there is a lot going on your profile..I'll try to do some of it!
Lija9090 : you guys are my third reviewer! Thank you! I am sorry that this is a NaruSasu (my favourite) though, and you guys seemed to have a fetish on KakaSasu. It's cool, since they are both hot! This and the next chapter are for you guys! Thanks!!!