Part 2

"Get up," Zoë said, forcefully.

As he rose to his feet, Nathan couldn't fathom what the hell was going on. 'This has to be some kind of practical joke, right?' he thought to himself as he raised his hands in an 'I surrender' gesture. What did Gina think she was doing? And how the hell had he gotten from Joss' office to... he took the chance, now that he was standing upright, to take a look around at his surroundings and did a double take. 'What the fuck?!' Nathan opened his mouth to ask a question, then closed it. '...one hell of a practical joke...' It was the only explanation that his mind could come up with. Reassured somewhat by that thought, Nathan focused on who he thought was Gina and plastered on a smile. "I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding," he said lazily, planning on playing along.

"Where's the Captain?" Zoë demanded, her voice as level and steady as her aim.

Amused, Nathan smirked as he looked around. "What'd'ya mean, Zoë? I'm standin' right here," he said playfully.

Zoë raised an eyebrow, then, without turning her head, called out: "Wash!"

"You rang, sweetcakes?" Wash asked as he appeared in the doorway. Leaning on the handrails, Wash took a look at the scene just below him, his wife with a shotgun trained on the Cap- 'Hang on.'

Cocking an eyebrow, Wash smirked as he headed down the stairs. Stepping between Zoë and Nathan, Wash gave him a head-to-toe glance and looked back to his wife, not noticing the piercing look burned on her face, then back to Nathan. "You can't make fun of my shirts any more," he said shaking his head.

Nathan's face twisted into mock offense as he looked down at his shirt. "Hey! What's wrong with my shirt?" he asked earnestly, looking back up at not-Alan. He'd bought the shirt just last week. A simple, white button-up, with light grey pinstripes and a large outline of a hibiscus, in light pink, taking over most of the upper right panel. Paired, untucked, with jeans and black boots, Nathan thought he looked pretty good. 'Man, whoever's playing this prank sure went to extremes.' "'What're you doing here anyway? Thought we killed you off?" he added jokingly.

Zoë recocked the shotgun as Wash stepped toward her casually. "Honey?" Scratching the side of his head for a moment, Wash continued, "Whatcha doin'?"

"I second that, actually," Nathan said, nodding to the gun and pointing slightly, still with his hands raised. Assuming it was a prop, he wanted to see how long they planned on carrying this gag out. "Somebody could get hurt, you know. Like, me, for instance."

"This ain't the Captain, dear," Zoë replied calmly.

Nathan noticed that she still hadn't blinked. He still had his hands raised and, to be honest, they were beginning to get tired. He lowered them, but when she motioned with the barrel of the gun, he rolled his eyes and raised them again.

Wash raised a hand. "If this isn't the Captain," he began, giving Nathan an 'I'm on your side' look. "Then where is the Captain? And who's this, who looks exactly like him?" Wash motioned to Nathan.

"Left him in the cargo bay not five minutes ago. Said he was goin' to find River. I came up here. Found him-" she gestured toward Nathan with the gun barrel, "-lyin' on the floor, right outside the cockpit door. Shoulda known right away somethin' wasn't right."

Wash looked from Zoë to Nathan and back to Zoë. A moment later, he turned back to Nathan. "What do you mean 'killed off'?" Wash shook his head and raised his hands in defeat at the look from Nathan. "Never mind, I don't think I wanna know," he said. Using the hand closest to the shotgun, he urged Zoë to lower it. "Now, why don't we all just go down to River's bunk and figure this whole thing out? Well, not actually to River's bunk, but the general are- Yeah." Wash stopped rambling after seeing the look he was getting from his wife and the non-Captain.

Taking Nathan's arm, Wash led him down the corridor and added, "You need to stop going out when we're planet-side. Gettin' too much sun. Not good for the brain."

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Summer's eyes flew open wider than normal as the man, who she'd assumed was Nathan, kissed her with a passion she could honestly say she'd ever witnessed. Too shocked to push him away, not to mention the fact that her knees actually buckled beneath her, Summer wound up having to cling to his shoulders in order to remain standing. Her fingers clutched the suspenders tightly. 'Wait... suspenders?'

Gathering her wits, Summer managed to wrench away from the man holding her, putting a few feet of space between them. She stared at him in disbelief as she took in what he was wearing. It couldn't be! He looked exactly like Nathan, except he was dressed in tan pants, a rust-colored button-up shirt, suspenders and black boots. If it weren't for her rational mind assuring her that this couldn't be real, Summer Glau might have believed she was standing in front of the one-and-only Malcolm Reynolds. But, that was just ridiculous... wasn't it?

"Captain, I think you may have-" Simon stopped, seeing Mal standing just outside his sister's door. "Oh. Sorry." He was holding an open red container as he cleared the corner, and closed it as he tried to think of a reason to clear out. Mal gave him a look and Simon sighed. "This isn't mine. Must've been mixed up..." he trailed off as Summer came out of River's room, and spaced herself evenly between them in the small area. An eyebrow raised, Simon looked at her, then asked, "What happened to my sister?"

Mal looked from Simon to Summer and back again. "What'cha mean, doc? Your sister's just fine. Right here, as a matter o' fact." He pointed in Summer's direction for good measure.

Summer's mind was reeling as she attempted to process what these people were saying. She wanted to believe it was all some kind of joke. A prank one of her friends was pulling. But, for some reason, she just couldn't convince herself. 'And believing that I've somehow been transported through time and space and am now onboard Serenity, in front of a real, live Mal and Simon is somehow easier?' she scoffed at herself.

Simon pointed to Summer. "That, Captain, is not my sister." Simon blinked, realizing just how rude he sounded. Giving Summer an apologetic, yet concerned look, everyone jumped as the door behind Summer slipped open and Shepherd Book stepped out.

"Oh, Captain," Book said when he spied Mal. He noticed Summer standing between them, but mistook her for River as he continued. "Might I have a word with you, privately?"

Mal rolled his eyes. "Can't the 'Special Hell' speech wait a while, preacher? We got us a situation here."

Summer couldn't help but let out a giggle - the 'Special Hell' speech had always been one of her favorite bits of Ron's.

Unfortunately, the sound of her laughter brought everyone's attention back to her. His eyebrows furrowed in an intimidating scowl, as Mal turned back to Summer and asked tightly, "Why is your brother-"

"I told you-" Simon interjected. Mal rolled his eyes again and turned back to Summer. Book had also moved down the few steps toward the small huddle, noticing that the young woman, who had a remarkable resemblance to their youngest passenger, looked rather distraught.

"There you are," everyone heard. Turning, the group saw Kaylee entering from the cargo bay entrance. Summer took the opportunity to slip past Mal and Simon, putting herself into the open area, between the guest quaters and the Infirmay and lounge. "Shepherd," Kaylee commented with a smile as she got closer, stopping at Simon's side. Noticing that Simon was still looking at Summer, Kaylee's gaze followed. "What's goin' on?" Her eyes grew wide when she saw Summer.

"Holy cow! River, where'd you get them spiffy new clothes?" Kaylee gushed, stepping over to Summer and effectively pushing Mal out of the way, to get a better look. She caught a bit of the shirt's material between her fingers and rubbed. "So soft. Bet it's all comfy!"

"Jewel?" Summer whispered.

Kaylee smiled. "Well, that's a funny name for material. But the color is really pretty with your eyes," she said, turning to Mal. "Don't it make her eyes really pretty, Cap?"

"Oh, God..." Summer groaned. At this point, the reality of the situation was becoming almost too much to bear.

"Riv-" Mal began.

"Who-" Simon started.

Both men stopped and glared at one another.

"Why has your brother gone wrong in the head?" Mal asked.

Simon shot Mal a look before asking once again, "Where is my sister?"

"Captain Reynolds," Book asked, attempting to get Mal's attention. When the captain turned in his direction, he nodded away from the group.

"I don't understand," Kaylee said, shaking her head. "What happened?" She looked between Simon, Summer and Mal. Summer closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Oh, come on. Don't you guys think this has gone on long enough? Who's behind this anyway? Was it Joss? It was Joss, wasn't it!" The entire group turned in the direction of the approaching voice. It was just then that Zoe, Wash and another man rounded the corner at the top of the stairs. The man continued speaking, facing Wash and Zoe, as he descended the staircase.

"Where's Summer, anyway? You prankin' her, too, or she in on it as well?" Nathan was about halfway through his question when he saw the look on Wash and Zoë's faces, and turned to see the collected crew looking up at them. Summer decided to move to the bottom of the stairs, putting her as close to Nathan as possible. As she slipped around Simon, Mal stepped closer to her as well. Moving down two more steps, Nathan put on his frustrated face and looked to his friend.

"Summer! You in on this whole thing?" he asked, gesturing back at Zoë and Wash with his thumb. "Cause, I gotta tell ya, wasn't the best prank in the world, that's for damn-" That's when he noticed who was standing behind Summer.

At that moment, both men, Captain and non-Captain, spoke.

"Son of a..." Nathan began, to which Mal obligingly supplied. "...bitch."

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center TBC... /center