Author's Note: This story was inspired by The Simpsons episode, Flaming Moe's. At the beginning of the episode, Lisa has a slumber party and harassed Bart. I just figured it was the kind of thing Shelly would do.

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, but I do own the episode of inspiration... on DVD.

Slumber Party

Stan shifted impatiently and uncomfortably. He sat on his bed, waiting for Kyle to get there. It really was urgent. The girls had been there for five minutes already, and he didn't think he could take another moment of it without some moral support. He didn't see why he had to be at home in the first place. Why couldn't he go out? His parents didn't want him going out tonight, but they said he could have friends over, as long as they stayed out of his sister's way. He could stay out of his sister's was a lot better if he was, oh, say, at KYLE'S HOUSE!

Finally, after seemed like forever, the doorbell rang. Stan didn't want to subject his friend to facing his sister and all her friends, but there was no way he was leaving this room. Besides, what if it was another one of Shelly's friends? The identity of the visitor was confirmed by a shrill screech.

"Your stupid little friend is here, Stan!"

Tentatively, he left his room, and gestured for Kyle to run upstairs. Kyle looked a little taken aback by the scene before him. Shelly and four of her friends were clustered in the front living room. A mess of chips and other snacks lay haphazardly on the table and on the couch. At the moment, they were all congregated around the door to greet Kyle. Shooting his friend a look, Kyle raced up the stairs and met up with Stan before the girls could do any damage.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kyle asked incredulously.

"Slumber Party," Stan said simply.

Kyle's eyes widened. "Oh Jesus, are you shitting me? Why are you dragging me into this?"

"Dude, I'm sorry I had to bring you down with me, but I'd do the same for you," Stan apologized.

Kyle cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. So he was playing the friend card. "Oh yeah, like when Ike has his slumber parties, and I'm in danger of going insane. Yeah, nice try man. I know we're friends, but you're asking a lot here. You owe me big here. Why didn't you ask Kenny or someone?"

Stan rolled his eyes. "I considered asking Kenny, but then I realized that I would just be fulfilling his sick fantasies. Being surrounded by five older girls who are intent on making you miserable is just what Kenny wants, and what kind of help would that be for me? It's not like it's going to stop Shelly from torturing me."

Kyle looked into his friend's pleading eyes. "Fine," he sighed. "I guess it would just be cruel and unusual to expect you to handle this on your own."

"Thank you so much Kyle!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kyle replied dryly. As an afterthought he added "You still owe me though."

"OK, fine. So what do you wanna do?" Stan asked.

They passed the time going through comic books and playing video games on Stan's room TV. Kyle, naïve as ever, couldn't help but think this wasn't going to be so bad...

Shrill giggles came from outside the door. "Hey turd, get your ass out here!" Shelly screeched piercingly.

Stan and Kyle exchanged panicked looks. "Oh God, hearing their forty-five minute conversation about Justin Timberlake wasn't bad enough, now they're actually involving us in their activities?" Stan muttered to Kyle. Louder, he called "No Shelly, leave us alone! We've kept out of your way!"

More shrill giggling from outside the door. Stan's response didn't satisfy Shelly. She was obviously bent on doing whatever diabolical torture method she had planned. "Open this door, turd, or I'll break it down myself!"

"Don't do it man!" Kyle protested as Stan hesitantly slid off the bed.

"Dude, we're only making her angrier!" Stan reasoned. Before his friend could say anything else, Stan opened his door a crack. Shelly stood right outside his door, scowl prominent on her face. Her four friends were clustered around her, giggling into their hands, eyes lit up with sheer delight. Obviously they had something sinister planned.

"What do you want, Shelly?" Stan asked, holding the door firmly in place so she couldn't attempt a break-in.

"We were playing truth or dare and Sam dared Chrissie to kiss you. You gotta do it turd, or I'll beat you for the next month!" Shelly ordered.

"You'll beat me anyway!" Stan pointed out. "There is no way I'm going to let one of your friends kiss me and infect me with her cooties!"

"Cooties?" Kyle asked incredulously. "Dude, you had a girlfriend, what are you talking about cooties. You don't believe that shit."

Stan ignored him.

"Fine, then get your turd friend out here, Chrissie will kiss him then!" Shelly countered.

"What?!" Kyle exclaimed.

"You heard her Kyle, get out there!"

"No fucking way, I can't believe you'd sell me out like that! It's bad enough I'm here, now you're actually making me kiss one of the girls!"

"If you do it, I'll clean your room for two months and you get any video game you want!" Stan offered.

"Make it two games and I'm in."

Stan considered this. "Fine. OK, Kyle's coming out now!"

Kyle leapt off the bed and cautiously approached the door. "Which one's Chrissie?"

A pretty blonde girl raised her hand. Out of the five, she was definitely the prettiest. For that Kyle was glad. Besides her and Shelly there was a mousy brunette with an overlarge nose, another blonde with greasy hair and a girl with black hair who wasn't a complete eyesore, but her clothes were torn and mismatched.

"OK, let's get this over with," Kyle mumbled grudgingly.

"Alrighty, here I go..."

It lasted for a split second before both parties pulled away quickly. "There, see I did it. Now I go, right?" Chrissie asked.

"Well, it was kind of short..." the mousy haired girl said. "But it'll have to do. I don't think he'd go it again. Go ahead."

Kyle dashed back into Stan's room and Stan closed the door. "So how was it?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Just peachy. So when do I get my video games?"

There was another knock at the door. "Turd, we're not done with you. You and your little turd friend get your asses back out here! We're done with truth or dare, we're gonna treat you turds to makeovers!" Shelly shrieked.

"Dude! No! I thought it was over! Makeovers? Stan, you owe me so much more than two video games and room cleaning service for two months," Kyle declared vehemently.

"Like what?" Stan asked.

Before Kyle had the chance to respond, the door flew open and the girls flooded in. The boys cried out in alarm as the girls advanced. Dodging out of the way they made a break for it. There was no way they were going to let a bunch of girls give them makeovers.

"Get them!"

They ran downstairs and found Stan's dad seated on the couch watching TV. Obviously the girls abandoned the living room giving Mr. March claim to the TV. The boys figured they could get some support from the man of the house.

"Dad! You gotta help us! Shelly and her friends won't leave us alone. One of her friends had to kiss Kyle on a dare, and now they want to give us makeovers!" Stan explained urgently to his father. "Dad make them stop, we just want to get through this night in one piece."

"Stan! Are you bothering your sister?" Mr. Marsh snapped.

"No! She's bugging us!"

"God damn it son, I told you that you could have a friend over tonight as long as you left your sister and her friends alone. Don't harass her. She's having a sleepover, so it's her night. You leave her and her friends alone Stanley, or you'll be grounded. You're lucky you're having anyone over tonight," Randy reprimanded.

"Aw, but dad!" Stan whined.

"No buts Stanley. You take your makeovers like men!" Stan's dad yelled.

The girls caught up with the boys and exchanged evil grins. Stan and Kyle knew they were in for it now. They had lost, the girls had won.

Ding dong!

"I'll get it!" Stan and Kyle cried in unison. They rushed to the door before any of the girls could beat them to it. Stan opened the door and Kyle greeted the man on the doorstep.

"Um, pizza delivery," the man stuttered.

Shelly and her friends stormed up and pushed the boys out of the way. They paid for their pizza and brought it up to Shelly's room, completely forgetting about her brother and his friend. It seemed that the boys were safe... for now.

They trekked back up the stairs and into Stan's room. Kyle picked out two video games, plus Stan gave him five of his best comic books and ten bucks. Kyle thought his friend owed him way more than that, but he decided it would have to do for the moment. They went back to playing more video games and doing whatever they could to pass the time. Kyle was staying the night, and it would be bedtime soon. They almost made it...

The door flew open. Clearly the girls abandoned the courtesy of knocking. It all happened quickly. Each boy was being pinned down by a girl. Chrissie took Kyle and the other blonde took Stan. They didn't forget about the makeover, it was just put off. Shelly supervised while the mousy girl and the raven haired girl worked the boys over. They brushed out the boys' hair and applied makeup to their unwilling faces.

"There! All done," black hair announced. "Oh, don't they just look darling?!"

"Jeez, I am a freaking artistic visionary!" mousy cried. "I don't know how I did it, but I somehow managed to do something with these insane curls. Like, honestly, sometimes I amaze even myself!"

"Oh, get over yourself Sam," greasy blonde scoffed. "It's not that great.

Sudden bright flashes blinded the boys. The girls were taking pictures! This was going too far. The boys would get their revenge!

"Alright, we're done with them," Shelly declared. "And if you boys get in our way at any point tonight, these pictures will be all over the internet."

So much for revenge.

The girls piled out of the room, leaving the boys looking "pretty" and humiliated.

"We need to get those pictures," Kyle proclaimed dramatically.

They spent the rest of the night not playing video games, but plotting. Plotting how they would get the pictures, and, if they had time, their revenge. The main priority was to gain possession of the pictures. Stan didn't have to worry so much, but if Cartman caught so much as a glimpse of these... well, Kyle had no future in this town, or any other.

They would wait until the girls fell asleep. Kyle would check to see if the camera was with the girls, and Stan would take Shelly's room. Once they got the camera, they would delete the pictures before anyone ever saw them. But first... They had to wash off all the shit on his face.

It really was an uninspired plan, but it made the most sense. They came up with some other ones, but they were pretty wild, and involved some things they would have an extremely hard getting a hold of. So they stuck with the basics, choosing to ignore how long it took for them to come up with it.

They took a look to see if the girls were asleep yet. Fortunately for them, they were. So they took that chance to put their plan in action. Kyle crept down the stairs and Stan poked around his sister's room. Shelly's friends kept their bags downstairs, and Kyle went through them. He wasn't sure whose camera it was, or how many people took pictures, so he just took all of them. They couldn't take any chances. This was a critical mission.

Stan looked through Shelly's drawers, under her bed, in her closet, and anywhere else she might hide a camera. He found some magazines, crap pop CDs and a box of tampons, but no camera. He just hoped Kyle was having better luck.

Kyle took the five cameras he had and snuck back towards the stairs. Sam (the mousy haired girl) twitched and uttered a small moan in her sleep. Kyle froze at the sound. If any of the girls woke up, they were screwed. Fortunately for him, she just rolled over and carried on sleeping. He exhaled softly and continued making his way back upstairs. He was almost home free when...

"Ow, shit!" he hissed. Kyle had walked into an end table he didn't remember being there. Greasy blonde was the first one up.

"Oh look," she muttered sleepily. "It's one of them nine-year-olds. Shelly's brother's friend. Hi Shelly's brother's friend! Wait, what do you have? Oh damn! Sam! Shelly! Courtney, Chrissie wake up! He's got our cameras!" She shook her friends awake. They were for it now. So much for their plan.

"Kyle, what's going- Oh Christ, good going Kyle!" Stan called from upstairs.

"Dude, weak! Sorry, but that stupid end table. I didn't see it!" Kyle defended.

"Get them!" Sam cried.

"Shit!" Kyle ran up the stairs. They raced once again into Stan's room once again. "Stan! Distract them; I'll get rid of the pictures!" Kyle shouted frantically.

"Distract? How? Oh shit! Shelly, look! It's Justin Timberlake!" Three of the girls actually looked, but Shelly shot her brother a death glare. "Kyle, hurry up! I don't know how much longer I can hold them off! OK, I'm sorry Shelly! Just leave us alone! I'll give you my dessert at supper for the next week!"

"Nice try, turd. You'll have to do better than that!" Shelly laughed.

"Kyle, hurry UP!"

"Done! Here, take these." Kyle tossed each camera one at a time to Stan, who, in turn, handed them off.

"Here are your fucking cameras, sheesh!" Stan sighed.

"You think you're getting off just like that. Ladies! Smooch time!" Shelly ordered.

The girls lined up, and each took a turn to kiss the boys respectively. Stan and Kyle cringed with each peck, and each smooch seemed to last longer than the first. When it was finally over, a chorus of giggling started up and faded as they went back downstairs.

"God damn it. Stan, you really owe me."

"Yeah, I know."

Author's Note: OK, so now I'm going to be pathetic, and ask you to leave a review. PLEASE! Only one of my stories in this collection has reviews. Seriously, if you're gonna read this, take another 30 seconds to let me know what you thought! I'll give you a cookie! Flames are ignored...