Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two Zoids 'families'
The long awaited sequel to chapter three
Chapter 4 – The Fluegel team, fork-fu and Ti Kwan leep.
Hint to content: More misc. battles
Also considering how long it's been since I worked on this chapter even, (a month or three-five) or something, and since my other Zoids fic has rendered something like two fifths of what happened here almost (almost) useless consider Reddy's zoid explanation in chapter two as a big lie to cover up a REAL complex past he and Tom both have.
Also with a, most likely temporary, change in mental state there won't be as much humor, though I will keep the fork and plan to introduce a new martial art form that fans of 'teaching spike to robattle' will recognize, TI KWAN LEEP. With Tom being its prime master (gasp!).
-Begin-
The day after the champ battle the blitz team and team ryu were walking about in a city, discussing why they were still sticking together. The best answer anyone could figure was plot device.
Then they watched the news, because TV always will provide answers. "In zoid battle news the Fluegel team, lightening team, Elephander team, and the new comer team, team ZB are all being considered for a raise in rank to S-class by the ZBC based on experience. It is said that the Fluegel team is looking for S-class opponents, unlike the rest of the teams, in order for themselves a chance to test their piloting skills against higher level opponents.With a button push on the remote doc spoke to the blitz team, and turned the TV off which caused team ryu to boo and hiss. "Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't one of the members of the Fluegel team a relation of yours toros?"
"Yes, Leon is my son. He's older than leena you see so he left the team a while back."
"Yes I see, but would he, perhaps, know some team strategies, or know how you operate in general. Or perhaps know any special weaknesses of any of you?"
"Um well I guess he would know Leena inside out, but that's because he's her brother."
"Tom." Doc asked.
"Yes?"
"Internet, now."
"Hoi." Tom said with a total lack of interest. "You want to e-mail the Fluegel team a challenge, correct?"
"Yes now leave." Doc waved away everyone. Everyone left when doc waved.
When all was said and done everyone would agree that it would have been better for them not to let the sick bastard doc to write the letter. In short it was a ransom of a challenge, fight a battle with us or Relena gets poked by any number of forks. One could argue doc was an idiot because of that letter, but in the like respect one could argue he was smart for realizing such a lame taunt would actually work on that guy.
Three hours later they had their reply. A sniper shot went through the middle of the base. On it was a small message, "Surrender Relena or you die tomorrow."
After several minutes of staring by everyone Tom asked, "Doc what did your message say?"
"That we were holding Relena hostage and would poke her with a number of forks if you didn't accept our challenge." Doc grinned. The whole of team ryu glared, some prepared to lunge. "What it worked didn't it?" Team ryu lunged as one.
A few minutes, and forks, later doc lay bloody beaten and as a seat for Sylvia. "So we need to do battle with these people don't we."
Tom stared at her, "We, you mean Henry and myself."
"No I mean we, as in all of us."
"No you mean the people who didn't try and force us to loose the last match and in the process severely damage two Zoids." Tom glared at Sylvia. She just blushed and scratched the back of her head. "I thought so. Well anyway since only Henry and myself have Zoids ready for battle I suppose the two of us will have to do it." Then he paused in thought. "Unless…" He trailed scratching his chin.
"Unless what?" bit asked.
"Unless you guys do it for us." Tom said with a grin.
"No." Was the group response.
"It was worth a shot." Tom said as he let his thought path trail to other totally random things.
"What about the battle plan?" Henry said as he looked at Tom. After a moment he snapped his fingers in Tom's face. Tom didn't respond. "Sylvia." Henry said calmly. A fork pierced the spot Tom had been. Tom, he had ducked and was now about at the height of doc's head.
"Getting a good view geezer?" Tom said looking at Doc with a tilt in his head. Doc gave him a thumbs up. Sylvia was wearing a very short skirt and was sitting near the old mans head.
"HEY!" Sylvia shouted in rage above all else. "You old perverted geezer!" She said getting up and kicking doc.
"Note to self." Tom muttered, "Doc is in the sickbay for a while."
The blitz team stared on for a moment as they watched team ryu watch Sylvia kick doc and then just split up to do various things of relative non-importance. "Are they normal?" Bit asked.
"Should we help that old guy?" Jamie asked.
"Do you think doc was looking at me?" Relena said covering herself up.
"Do you think doc would be willing to give me his zoid models if he dies?" Doc toros asked. He got a grunted, 'Never', as his response.
"Why are we even here?" Brad asked making every member of the blitz team completely disregard whatever they may have been thinking about and follow a new thought path. Sylvia kept on kicking doc, as she had just gotten her second wind.
Meanwhile down below in the team hangar as Tom and Henry began checking on their Zoids they began a conversation. "Why do you think Sylvia got so pissed when doc admitted to looking up her skirt?" Henry started.
"Hell if I know, she's really the type not to care. Although that is only if the right guy happens to look." Tom laughed. "She really only cares about the body." He said with a vague sigh, "That's gotten her into quite some problems." Various escapades with Tom breaking into places carrying massive amounts of weapons, and more often than not shooting them at people or stuff indiscriminately, and at the end finding Sylvia usually bound, naked, beat up, drunk, filthy or any combo of the five. "I tend to deal with her failed 'escapades'. Usually if she's naked I tie her up and stick her in the back of the rescue vehicle. And I shoot some guns to let out the stress."
Henry continued on with his zoid repairs, he had heard many of these tales before. After this one he wasn't sure what scared him more, the stories themselves or the fact that they didn't faze him in the least. "Um I guess I'll go with the second." Henry muttered as he fixed the last few little things that he knew about and began to scan for more things that could be damaged.
Tom was busy grumbling as he began his standard maintenance program, most of which was oiling the parts and pushing buttons in a perfectly memorized sequence. Without thinking he declared himself done saying, "My shadow fox hasn't needed any repairs since the ones after the last battle. And fact is that was thorough enough for any of us. And besides I can crush them even with the shadow fox at 50."
Henry looked at Tom, "Arrogance is most definitely not one of your weaknesses."
"I would agree. But my greatest strength is sarcasm for sure."
Henry looked at Tom who raised his eyebrows gave Henry winks and nudges. "Yes I get it you really are arrogant, and you are sarcastic, I'm not a total idiot despite whatever you may think."
Tom nodded and left Henry to his own devices, going to the other zoid in the hangar. "So how are you my special Ghost fox?" Tom said looking at the command wolf in a corner. "I think it about time my past comes closer to the surface and I'm gonna start with you." Tom smiled walking over to a control panel in the wall he began pressing various buttons and after about three minutes he input a code and the area behind the command wolf opened up. The command wolf began slowly sliding back on a special set of tracks designed for just this. "But first you're going to get re-painted. I really need you in the classic Ghost fox coloration scheme." Tom smiled, "Won't need my input for that."
Then Tom walked to the entrance of the command wolf's special hangar spot and moved a chain across the entrance that read, "Hey what did you expect a command wolf, well too bad it's mine and I can decide to take it off public display as I wish." Then Tom laughed, "Oh I'll feel sorry for bit if this is ready for him then."
The next day Tom sat in the launch bay waiting by his shadow fox when Henry came along. "Saw that you removed your command wolf yesterday. What for?"
"Doing some maintenance on it. Right now I've got a computer repainting it in the color scheme of a famous command wolf."
"Really are you a fan of this guy?"
"You could say that." Tom said with an evil grin on his face.
Henry produced a fork, "I know how to use this thing. Like everyone in the base I am a practitioner of fork-fu. And the only one better at it than me in the base is Sylvia."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tom shouted as he ran away real, real, fast.
Henry simply enjoyed his victory and remembered to hold this over everyone's head whenever he could. Then he walked across the ship to the blade liger launch spot. It was a pretty long walk. On the way Henry was 'conveniently' at the door when the blitz team arrived. More likely Tom reminded him that he was god and master of the ship and had more ways to torture his crew than someone with a fork. "Hello there." Henry said as pleasantly as he could. Lena walked over to him.
"Hand it over." She said flatly.
"What?" Henry asked puzzled.
"The fork. Bit's being an ass as of late and I need to borrow the fork of the fork-fu master." Henry stared confused as to how Lena knew all this but gave her the fork nonetheless. "DIE BIT CLOUD!" Lena shouted as she chased bit everywhere.
"Damn she's well on her way." Henry muttered as he walked along the path to his blade liger. He was accompanied by the remainder of the blitz team not intent on murdering, or getting murdered, with a fork.
"So who are you going to have fight who?" Toros asked Henry.
"As of now you mean?" Henry asked back.
"That works." Toros replied more confused by that answer than he had figured he would have been.
"I'm gonna fight Leon. And Tom will fight Naomi. The only problem seen with the 'plan' is that in combat between two blade ligers Naomi and Tom both won't know which one to attack. But Tom figures, in his case anyway, he'll just wait for one of us to case function and then will beat up the winner if the judge doesn't announce a victory."
"That's how he's going to decide who to attack!?" Toros exclaimed.
"Yeah that's his style, rather half assed." Henry said as he got into his zoid cockpit. "Now could you guys leave we're going to launch in a bit."
On the way out Jamie noted something about the ship in general. "My that's odd." He started.
"What's odd?" Toros and Brad simultaneously asked.
"Well it's just that much of the hangar has various object not suited for Zoids. Apart from the catapult and I would guess maybe something like half a dozen storage spots that are 'customized' for Zoids all of these seem to be designed to hold something else entirely." Jamie pointed at the one holder they happened to be closest to. "See they're designed for something that isn't as long as a zoid, the actual holding devices aren't even close to a Zoids length!"
Toros and brad looked at this, and then Toros said, "Point duly noted Jaime and I appreciate you for pointing it out to us. But there is one thing you forgot."
"What did I forget?"
"It doesn't matter what these are designed to hold."
"What! Why?"
"Because Tom apparently doesn't have one of those things."
"How do you know?" Jamie asked.
"Because they aren't here."
Brad just laughed at that, "Ouch. I really feel for ya' there Jaime boy. But Doc here's got you beat." Brad walked along occasionally laughing and saying things like, "Never thought Doc would beat Jamie in something like that, but there ya go!" And laughing some more.
Jamie, crestfallen for a moment, quickly recovered enough to count and began his trek back to the bridge to watch the match. Upon arrival bit and Lena, right on cue arrived, bit with several fork caused wounds. Sylvia giggled gave Lena high five and said, "Way to go girl!"
"Actually Henry gave me the fork so give him some credit."
"Well you stabbed bit so you get more than 80 at least."
"Good point." Leena said with a smile.
Then doc shouted, "Get a seat and a buckle cause we're starting the afterburners!"
"The wha?" Bit asked still rather out of it from running and getting stabbed.
"TOO LATE!" Doc then pushed the big red button and then some really big rocket engines activated and the ship went real, real fast.
"But I thought technology this level wasn't available for public use!" Toros said to Doc.
"WE GOT IT SO THERE!" Doc shouted like a maniacal psychopath. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA!!"
"Is he always this crazy?" Jaime asked reddy.
"Yup." Reddy sighed.
"Ah." The whole of the blitz team sighed; they were in a ship piloted by a madman.
At least they were in a ship piloted by a madman with a good sense of direction and excellent ship control. In a mere thirteen minutes they were there. Compared to the hour it would take the hover carrier. Of course the overshot it too with the time it took for them to leave afterburner mode so they actually took an hour in the end. When the ship came to a stop Tom's face came up on the communication screen, "Doc did you use the afterburners specifically when I told you not to."
"Maybe."
"How else can this ship accelerate from 60 to mach 3 in two minutes?" Tom glared at doc.
"Willpower?"
"A-F-T-E-R-B-U-R-N-E-R-S."
"You got me." Doc admitted.
"Good now remember don't use them unless I say, cause if you really screwed up we could be late, or dead. Or late and injured. Or late and in the arrival we could have been killed. Or, well you get my point."
"Right sir." Doc muttered pitifully. Then the line closed. "I WILL GET MY DAY WHEN YOU ALLOW ME TO USE THE AFTER BURNERS I SWEAR IT!!"
Tom then opened up the line, "I didn't really close the line, I just stopped video you know right?"
"Damn." Doc sighed. "Launch the shadow fox and blade liger." Doc sighed, reddy and Sylvia launched the Zoids off a catapult with four points for the Zoids claws to be placed.
The two landed to see just Leon. "Crap." Tom muttered. "Naomi's got a sniping point picked out already." Tom looked around; there were several plateaus and a few caves for her to hide out in. "And she's got a fair pick of them to. Great."
Then the catapult could be heard to activate. Mr. Referee shot off it. "This is now an official zoid battlefield. Team ryu versus the Fluegel team. Ready fight!" Mr. Referee brought his hand down in a chopping motion, and then he asked Tom and Henry. "How was that?"
Tom answered first. "Entrance 8 out of ten. Declaration I'll give you a 9.5 for off physical motions with chance of revisions for just being a normal human."
"Personally I'd call it better than a judge capsule on all accounts, congratulations Mr. Referee." Henry said with a thumbs up.
"What are you guys doing?" Leon asked.
"Oh just giving Mr. Referee here a player evaluation of his entrance, he is new on the job and dedicated to improving." Henry said with another thumbs up to Mr. Referee. "By the way good job for being dedicated."
"Why is a human over seeing a zoid match?" Leon asked Tom.
"Are you doubting my ability!?" Mr. Referee shouted. "I'll have you know I've been acting referee for various combat situations for a whole series now. I can guarantee you I am quite competent!"
"Besides," Tom muttered, "He's distracting enough to you guys for me to get sight of your team mate." Tom fired at a small red dot on top of the tallest plateau some ways away from where they were.
"Naomi!" Leon shouted back at her. Then he saw a shadow fox pass him by. "Eat thi-" Leon was cut off by a shot at his rear.
"You think we didn't have some idea of what we were doing?" Henry asked Leon rhetorically as he prepared his blades for combat.
"You got me there, you read us perfectly thus far. I'll enjoy our fight even more that way." Leon did the same. Then the two charged.
Meanwhile Tom was running right at a sniper, also he was moving too fast for his shadow fox to use its smokescreen. "Jesus for putting her on the defensive I can't do a whole lot." Tom muttered as two more sniper shots 'just missed' him. Tom grumbled. "And that suppressing fire is getting annoying." He said to himself as yet another shot came at him, than another right in the path of his starting dodge, but at the last moment Tom jumped in a full loop around and continued forwards. "Okay that was good, but still annoying."
"Damn he's good." Naomi muttered as she fired shot, after shot, after shot, after shot, after ten more shots. "But I'll bet he's either a total killing machine bent on beating me no matter the cost or he's scared shitless and persevering either through the cheers of his teammates or he is being forced to by remote control."
Tom replied, "Are you on drugs, not only did you just say that crack addled idea but you said in on the open channel. But to answer your question I'm just the guy who's that good."
"No way, I've had about eight people dodge my shots, but only a few have dodged them more than once. None more than four times, you just dodged eight."
Tom stopped, "Look the fact is–AH!" Naomi fired off another shot at Tom who actually blasted it away with several of his own that also momentarily peppered Naomi. "Jerk, you were trying to make me stop!" Tom shouted as he came upon the rocky portion of his trip up where sniping would be the hardest for Naomi, and travel up the hardest for Tom. "Try and catch me here!" Tom shouted as he jumped on top of massive several ton boulders almost twice as tall as his shadow fox and at the center of it all activated his smoke screen and jumped in.
"Not bad" Naomi thought, "But I've got thermal vision for my sniper scope AND a 3-D map that will overlay the heat image with your position on the map!" Assuming Tom to be closer to Naomi than before she brought the rifle up the hill a hair and began scanning. She was in a horrid error.
At the base of the massive rock field Tom hid in wait as he had gun aimed at Naomi through the smoke with his own Infra-red camera, as well as combined vision through 8 other various sensors. "Looks like she fell for the bait REAL easily. She's aiming further uphill. I told them this strategy was too dumb not to work!" Tom thought as he began blasting her with every shot he could.
"JESUS THE GUY WAS DOWNHILL WHAT AN IDIOT!" Naomi shouted as she came under a hail of fire and redirected her gun.
"How dumb am I if I was able to get in an attack and evade your scope entirely." Naomi brought the scope exactly where Tom had fired from with a relatively wide field of vision for a sniper scope and saw no trace of Tom. "Guess what, I got infra red masking devices and radar absorbing technology and ultrasonic proof tech." Naomi tried to track him via radio signal but was stopped when Tom said, "Don't try and triangulate the radio, I transmit from 12 locations at a minimum."
"Jesus you're too much." Naomi muttered. "So much I wish I could hit your ass with a finely placed sniper round and maybe even kill you."
"No luck." Tom shouted from behind Naomi.
"THE HELL!" Naomi said as she began to move to the standard cockpit. When she did she saw the shadow fox standing there and saw it barrel starting to turn. "I really don't like you." Naomi said flatly.
"Your opinion bothers be not in the least."
"Now I hate you."
"Meh I've had tougher people hate me."
"No, you see the problem is you've got a sniper who hates you and snipers will track you down and hunt you. The effect through psychological warfare will be horrid."
The barrel on the shadow fox stopped turning. "Really I've had people a lot more scarier than you want my ass dead."
"FOOLED YOU!" Naomi said as she opened up her standard gun sniper arsenal on Tom and about 100 yards.
"NOT AGAIN DAMNIT!" Tom then began to use many, many swear words as he ran at Naomi and then jumped. "Strike laser claw!" The shadow fox's claws glowed gold and cut Naomi's right arm off. "HA!" Tom shouted.
"You're a looser." Naomi said via radio.
"CAN'T YOU STOP WITH THE RADIO DISTRACTIONS ALDEADY!?" Tom shouted, then Naomi fired her missiles. "CRAP!" Tom shouted as he ran past Naomi once again to her front, again, but this time he fired a net at her and made her gun sniper useless and completely immobile. "HA WHO'S GOT THE LAST WORD NOW!"
"AFTERBURNER AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Doc came across the public channel saying.
Naomi and Tom looked at the Team ryu ship. "He did." They both sighed.
"Ok I've got to go watch to red blade ligers duel to the death. Since you're useless I advise you admit to having a command system failure or my gatling gun will be used."
"Fine you win." Naomi pushed a button and her zoid transmitted a surrender signal to the referee.
By the battle site of the two red blade ligers Mr. Referee got this and announced, "Naomi Fluegel is out of the battle on account of surrender."
Leon sighed, that meant two Zoids for him to fight. Henry sighed a sigh of relief. He was really getting tired of this fight, he may have to go to 100 to beat Leon. Then as the two just stared each other down Tom could be heard saying (via public channel) "Oh crap. Who's Henry?"
Henry looked at Tom with the worst death glare ever in his eye. "I AM YOU BASTARD! SHOOT THE OTHER GUY!"
Tom looked at Henry then he moved the shadow fox slightly out of the way of the battle. "Hell I'll just watch it'll be more fun."
"MORE FUN!" Henry said enraged beyond belief. "When we get back to the ship I'm going fork-fu on your ass!"
Tom shrugged, "I now know a counter to fork-fu. You can try but your head will regret the failure."
"Stop ignoring me!" Leon shouted as he charged at Henry.
"NOT NOW!" Henry said back as his blades came out went forwards, his shield went up and his boosters on. Upon impact with Leon's attack of the same style Henry fired his blade lasers and his underbelly cannon as well. Then once a few moments had passed his blades began to glow and vibrate. Then an energy sword extended out of the blade and stopped centimeters short of the cockpit. "Surrender or die." Henry said flatly.
"I surrender." Leon sighed out. "You win."
"I KILL YOU NOW!" Henry shouted as he got out of his zoid.
Tom just ran the shadow fox to the ship. "Deal with the winning the match thing and then you can try." He laughed.
"Um well with that, THE WINNER IS TEAM RYU!" Mr. Referee motioned towards Henry's blade liger. "And well, that's it. See you later!" He said running off.
"What a strange man." Henry muttered. "But anyways we won. And we weren't going to stab Leena with forks. So if you want to kill a team mate either kill the man in the shadow fox or our team's old crazy scientist, Doc."
"What?" Leon asked confused.
"I mean that literally. Every word. Do not read a meaning into anything I'm saying now or before. I speak literally." Henry said. "Now I'm leaving." And he left. "See I speak literally."
"Ok that's weird. And I mean they're weirder psychopaths than the blitz team." Leon sighed. "What nut jobs."
Meanwhile in the ship hangar the epic showdown between fork-fu and Thomas began. "I will beat you with fork-fu!"
Tom stood still at one spot 30 feet away from Henry. "I will win for I have discovered a secret martial art form that will defeat you."
"What can beat fork-fu!" Henry said as he ran at Tom with several forks held like shuriken. He then threw them at Tom, somewhat like a shuriken. Tom disappeared.
"Ti Kwan Leep." Tom said as he appeared behind Henry. "Boot to the head." Tom then had his foot impact Henry plain in the head. "I invented the style. For beating fools who think they can beat me."
"Try it again, I wasn't ready."
"Boot to the head."
"Ok one more time."
"Boot to the head." Tom knocked Henry to the ground.
"I'll just lie here then." He said as he did just that.
"You failed to grasp the principle of ti-Kwan-leep." Tom muttered. "That is why you lost."
Then everyone came into the hangar to see Henry bloody and beaten at Tom's feet. Sylvia ran over to him and buried him in his chest very well. Reddy walked over to Tom and asked, "Ti Kwan Leep?"
"Yes."
"OH YEAH THAT IS AWESOME!!" Reddy said with joy.
The blitz team, now having watched three matches of team Ryu, still had learned nothing about the team structure. Other than it was perhaps one of the most chaotic things of all time. However they were enjoying watching them fight against their former foes and they were working on ways for them to fight more people who they had had bad relations with in the past.
-End-
So I end with plotting, why should you care?
Personally I'm more interested in the use of shuriken as a singular or plural and the need of an 'a' before it. I just threw it in for clarification because English is weird.
I also know I used the wrong spelling for Jaime somewhere. Sorry bout that.