Duncan stared at his bedroom ceiling. Tessa was curled on her side away from him. The situation with Richie had affected their relationship as well, so that sex didn't seem to be anywhere in Duncan's future at the moment. Even though right then he could have really used a release for all of his tension.
He heard movement in the hallway and the soft grating feel of a pre-immortal. He had been expecting this, for Richie to run away in the night. A pre-emptive strike after the boy had decided that he and Tessa didn't love him anymore. It had taken much longer than Duncan would have thought; he had been surprised that the boy was constantly running into his room instead of out the apartment door.
Carefully the immortal extricated himself from the blankets and pulled on his robe. Not for the first time would Duncan surprise Richie in the middle of an escape attempt. Eventually the boy would learn that he and Tessa were never going to let Richie go. Even if they were oceans apart the boy would be in their hearts.
He crept towards the kitchen. Richie's form was visible even in the dark. The teen stood against the kitchen sink with his back to the doorway. Duncan noticed that Richie's old duffel bag was nowhere in sight as he turned on the light. The young man was visibly startled but did not turn around.
Confused by the reaction Duncan moved forward and grasped the youth's shoulder. Still the teen kept his face averted. Then Duncan looked down at the youth's hands.
Richie was holding a steak knife in his right hand, keeping it in the sink. A few shallow cuts on his left wrist told Duncan all he needed to know about what the teen had been caught doing. But still Richie made no attempt at an explanation, the boy who thought he could talk his way out of anything wasn't talking.
And Duncan himself could think of nothing to say. He was too scared to be angry or demand answers. The fear overrode his ability to think or even breathe. He just stared for a long moment.
And then he was moving, pulling the teen into his arms in a crushing embrace. How could he have not seen this? How could Richie not want to live anymore, not see his own worth? Duncan was overcome with the thought of how close he was to losing the boy. The fact that Richie was immortal didn't ease his mind at all. What kind of life would Richie wake up to if he entered the Game as a suicide?
Duncan didn't even notice the tears that streamed from his eyes. How could he have not seen how much pain this boy was in?
He held Richie back at arm's length noting that the teen's eyes were dry and still looking anywhere but at Duncan's face.
There was only one question. "Why?"
Duncan was not surprised that his own voice came out as a sob, nor did he try to hide it. Richie needed to know how much his actions would have hurt Duncan. But Richie didn't say anything and his jaw took on a mulish jut that the immortal knew all too well.
The fact that Richie still refused to talk to him caused all of his helplessness to rise in his throat and choke him. Duncan pulled the boy close again and cried in earnest, words and accusations tumbling from his lips before he could stop them.
"I love you, Rich. How could you?! Why? Why didn't you tell me…"
That sparked a reaction in the teen. "You what?"
Duncan didn't have to ask what part of Duncan's diatribe he was referring to. The immortal looked straight into blues eyes that were wide and fearful and unwilling to believe however much Richie wanted to. "I love you."
"But you said if I didn't shape up…"
"That I would get you a counselor, Richie. I would never throw you out; I thought we talked about this."
"We did but that was before…"
"No Rich, no matter what." Duncan attempted a half-smile. "You'll have to take my head first."
His attempt at humour brought no answering smile to the boy's face. Instead Richie collapsed against Duncan, sobbing. Duncan maneuvered them to sit on the floor, keeping Richie pressed close, enfolding him with his arms and then his legs.
"Tell me." Duncan used the quietly insistent voice that Richie usually responded to.
"I couldn't stop her. I didn't want to…" Richie's words were punctuated with hiccupping gasps for air. "But I couldn't stop her! I couldn't stop myself."
Duncan rocked him slowly like he was a much younger child and whispered soothing words. "It's not your fault, Rich. It wasn't your fault."