Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed, your comments were all greatly appreciated; and Ant...simply; Yes ;)

Summary: ...'All it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing'...When something from the new Director's past turns up in a case, will the team be able to save her life and her career? Personal discoveries are made, and opinions changed.
A/N & Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea, and maybe the odd character...I also don't own the chapter and fic titles, as these are all song titles. ;)
(the noodle that I am, I forgot to post that on the first chapter!)

Everything I Own

When you start falling
Who's gonna catch ya?
I'm willing to betcha
It will be me
(It Will Be Me, Kristin Chenoweth)

There's something about him. I know it's wrong; he's my new partner, there are rules against it and he's married. But that doesn't mean I can't think about it, does it? That I can't dream about him. The way he walks into a room, catching everyone's attention without noticing, the way his eyes flash with intensity. What would those eyes look like filled with passion? Would they flash for me? I've dreamt that they do. That he walks up to me in the office; powerful, and in his mind there's no one else there but me. Our lips would lock hot and hard, he'd taste of coffee and strength, and it would just be the two of us. Lost in our own world, tongues fighting a battle neither of us would mind losing. We wouldn't be Agent and Agent, we'd be simply, completely Man and Woman. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be held in his arms. Just held, I can't let myself think further than a kiss and an embrace. Not yet. But to be protected by his body holding mine, his arms around my waist holding me close. It's not too much to ask is it? For him to want me like that.

Of course, I know it is, that's why it only ever happens in my mind. It's going to be hard working with him, and having these feelings. Maybe they'll fade the more I know him. It's only an attraction after all. I so hope they fade because I know he'll never want me that way. He's married after all.

Jen closed the book softly, her mind going over and over the words she'd written there years before. It had been dangerous, going undercover and still keeping a journal. But she'd needed it to keep her sane. To release the deepest and sometimes darkest thoughts that she knew she could never speak aloud to anyone else.

Ever since starting as Director, and seeing him again after so many years, she'd kept returning to that diary. It was a record of their relationship, from that very first meeting, to the moment he walked away. She hadn't been able to look at it once he left, so a new book had been bought and the old one hidden away, a grim echo of what had been happening in her heart. Now she looked back on her words, and wondered how she could have been so naïve, so impulsive to run into something without really thinking it through.

She had that to thank him for. She was far more cautious now then she's been then, and her heart has suffered less for it.

Closing her eyes, she could still envision those dreams, only now she could see the scars she knew his body held, could smell the lingering scent of the aftershave he swore he never used but that was always there in the bottom of his bag. And she felt his arms slip around to rest on her stomach, not her waist, but always holding her protectively on her stomach. Sighing, she opened her eyes again; shaking off the thoughts she knew would do nothing more than distract her. Sometimes she hated just how easy it was to remember the time they'd spent together, when it was so much harder to remember who she had been before him.

The journal was placed in her desk once more, she couldn't afford anymore distractions today, but tomorrow, there was a memory of a stakeout she wanted to revisit.

Reaching across her desk, she pulled the top few files from her inbox. She still wasn't sure what she hated more; writing case reports, or reading them. Pen held in hand, the tip rolling back and forth on her lips, she opened the first folder and prepared herself to focus, and noticing the extended autopsy report; not to fall asleep. She was going to need a lot of coffee today.

Just as she finally worked out what DiNozzo meant, half the words lost beneath what she assumed was spilt burrito sauce, she heard the sound of her receptionist's voice raised in frustration before her office doors were thrown open, and the man from her thoughts burst in.

"Jethro?" It wasn't unusual for him to tear into her office, at least now her secretary didn't feel that it was her fault that he didn't listen. What was unusual was the silence after his arrival. Usually one of them would start talking instantly; but as she went over the last few days in her mind, she knew that this time, she hadn't done anything wrong. Perhaps this was just a social…her mind backtracked over itself. Wrong? She never did anything wrong, just because it wasn't what he wanted didn't make her decisions wrong. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at his silent form. He had her too well trained, that even in her mind she believed him over herself.

Gibbs had moved on autopilot, Tony's words circling his head. From the moment he'd snatched the photograph out of his hand, and seen her face for himself, he hadn't thought of anything except getting to her. He told himself it was because he wanted answers, but somewhere in him he knew that he'd needed to make sure she was okay. That just because he hadn't seen her arrive at the building didn't mean she was lying dead somewhere. The fact that he was standing in front of her now, was the only evidence he had in his mind that he'd reached her office. He really couldn't remember getting there. He looked at her, seeing her for the first time as a Director; her black skirt suit, was conservative, but cut just right to show off the curves he knew hid beneath it. It was hard to balance this new Jen with the one he remembered, and even harder with the one in the picture he held in his hand. But they were all one woman, one complicated multi-layered woman. He wasn't sure how to approach this. It hadn't been hard to guess just what connected the women in the photograph. The fishnet stockings, the silk and lace bodices, he'd seen them on the streets of Paris, Cairo, and he was certain that London was no purer. Still; this was Jen, why had she never mentioned this before? Gibbs was so lost in his thoughts; he didn't notice his own uncommon silence.

Getting irritated by his silence, and her own thoughts, Jen switched gears, and stood up from her chair, leaning forward to rest her hands on the desk in front of her.

"Special Agent Gibbs. Was there a reason for your unscheduled appearance in my office?"

Gibbs was shocked for a moment, not expecting the anger in her voice. So he'd burst in uninvited, he'd been doing it for her. She wouldn't want everyone in the building to know about this before she herself did. And she repaid him with attitude.

Angry now himself, his eyes focused on her again and he threw the plastic coated photograph down onto the table, watching as it slid across the polished surface, stopping in the space between her hands.

Jen looked down in confusion. Jethro still hadn't spoken, and it was unnerving her…nothing good ever came when he wasn't barking at someone.

At first she wasn't sure what she was seeing. Looking at it as an investigator, she searched for any information that could explain why it was so urgent for her to look at she noticed something familiar, one of the woman, she recognised her. She picked the picture up, bringing it closer to her eyes, and felt her blood freeze as she ran her gaze over each person, dreading but knowing what she'd find when she reached the last woman on the right. Sure enough, as her eyes reached the edge of the image, she saw her own face smiling up at her.

Her knees weakened as she realised just what she held in her hand, and she reached blindly for her chair, collapsing into it, her elbows on the desk, her head in her hands.

Her thoughts were swirling, questions bouncing around in her head as a cold wall of dread built up around her. Where had the photograph come from? She'd thought all copies were burnt years ago, all traces should have disappeared; there shouldn't have been any trails left to follow.

Her heart beat faster, and she felt the rise of tears at the back of her eyes when she thought about what this would do to her career. She would be ruined. She didn't care that she sounded dramatic, even to herself, she had worked so hard to get where she was, and now, when she had settled and was finally happy, professionally at least, it was all going to come crashing down around her. How would she look her colleagues in the eyes after this? She'd see the looks in their eyes, and know exactly what they were thinking. It was hard enough now; being the first female Director she knew what rumours where going around. She knew what people whispered about when they thought her out of hearing range. But after this, she'd never survive it. The only good thing would be that she wouldn't have to for long; they wouldn't let her hold her current position for long, no matter the reasoning. She continued to hold back the tears, she would not cry over this.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard a throat clear, and suddenly she remembered that she wasn't alone in the room. Jethro.

If it were possible, the thought of him knowing made her feel even worse. No wonder he had been behaving unusually, it was not everyday that one saw their ex-partner in a picture of prostitutes.

Gibbs watched Jen, his anger lessoning slightly as he saw her reaction. When she collapsed into the chair defeated, his first reaction was to go to her and offer any comfort he could. But he'd seen that picture, and he could tell that it hadn't been taken more than ten years ago. From his clear memories of her, knew it could have been around the time they'd first started working together. He'd not inquired too much about her background before they'd been partnered, now though, he thought perhaps he should have been more curious.

He cleared his throat, wanting answers and tiring of waiting, he barely noticed the small jump she made at the sound, vaguely he wondered if she'd forgotten he was there.

Jen pulled herself together, raising her head and levelling her gaze on her Senior Field Agent. She had questions she needed answering and she couldn't let her personal torment get in the way. One look in his eyes and her resolve crumbled. Her gaze slid away to rest on a mark on the wall just above his shoulder and she waited for the words she knew would come. Her questions would have to wait until he'd gotten out whatever he needed to, it wasn't fair, it wasn't right, but it was Jethro.

He noticed how she couldn't look at him, and it confirmed his belief. It really was what he thought, and she didn't eve have the strength to stand up for herself. He was angry that she'd never told him, after all she had said to him about his inability to share, and she'd kept something like this from him. Of course, he didn't think to ask when exactly the picture had been taken, so he didn't know for sure that it had occurred before they'd met, but surely there would be no reason for her to have stooped to that after Paris.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice snapped across the room like a whip, crackling with everything he wasn't saying.

"What did you want me to do? Just come up to you and tell you. I couldn't do that Jethro, there are things that I can't tell anyone, this was one of them." She pleaded with her voice, she hated the disappointment she could hear in his.

Gibbs couldn't believe her. She really wasn't the person he believed her to be. He had loved her back in Paris, but he was finding that it was all based on a lie.

"How about starting with, 'Before we sleep together I think you should know that I used stand on street corners for a living.'" He spat the words out with so much venom he scared himself, but he wouldn't back down now, not until he knew it all.

Jen's eyes flashed to his as soon as she heard his words. She couldn't believe he thought that she had actually been doing that before joining the Navy. That she would have done that for anything but direct orders. With the understanding of his thoughts came an anger all of her own, and she moved from her chair to stand directly in front of him, her steps deliberate and measured.

Gibbs looked down at her, slightly scared of the sudden change in mood. He'd expected her to cower under his words, not suddenly transform into the volatile woman now glaring at him.

"You bastard. I can not believe that you of everyone could think that I would do…that, of my own choice…I just…how could you? I was ordered to do it Gibbs. It was an undercover operation that had to be kept secret, to discover who was leaking Navy information out in London. I fit the specification and they sent me to do it. It's not on my records; it's not on any records, until now it didn't exist at all except in my memory." She was still glaring at him, her breath coming out in short sharp puffs, but she could feel her eyes watering again. How could he really have thought that of her? And if he had believed that so quickly, what hope did she have against people that didn't know her the way he did?

Gibbs stood still in shock of what he had heard. He knew Jen wasn't lying, what she said made so much sense, and he couldn't believe the things his own mind had come up with. She had a right to be angry at him, he should have known her better than that. He'd almost out-right called her a Prostitute before even waiting for her explanation. Still, why hadn't she told him, in all the time they'd been together?

As though reading his thoughts, Jen spoke again, her voice lower and cracking slightly.

"I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, and I couldn't have told you before Paris, because I wasn't assigned until after you… just after." Selfishly, Gibbs wanted her to stop talking, because with every word that left her mouth, his guilt over the last few minutes intensified. He raised his arm, intending to reach out for her, when her head snapped up as though something had just occurred to her.

"You never told me where you found that picture." With those words, Gibbs' own fear returned. The Murderer was after the person who put him in jail…he was looking for Jen.

Seeing Jethro's face pale, Jen began to grow more concerned. She really hoped that the photograph wasn't already circulating the building.

"It was evidence in our new case." He paused when she turned confused eyes on him, there was no way to make this easy. "A former US Marine has been murdering women in London, and until they found this picture at the last scene, they didn't know the connection. Jenny, he's after the person that got him stripped of his command. He's after you." He watched as her face paled, and hurried to continue. "That he's been killing these others shows that he doesn't now it's you, but the British forces believe he's on his way back over here, and as soon as he starts looking for you, well, he's going to know that you're the one he wants."

Jen could hardly take in what she was hearing. She was used to putting her life on the line, during her partnership with Jethro they'd been undercover on many dangerous missions, but this was different. This time it was truly personal. It didn't get more personal that being hunted by the person you caught whilst acting as a call girl. She'd have to set up a security detail, have someone guarding her at all times, she knew she could look after herself, but the powers above her wouldn't leave it at that. She stopped suddenly, only the noticing she'd begun pacing the room. She looked up and linked wide eyes with Jethro.

"They're going to all know." She didn't notice Gibb's confused face as she continued, her voice getting more frantic. "They're all going to know what I did, and they won't know it was an assignment because no one knows anymore. And they can't have a Director with a background like that, so I'll lose my job and I'll have to look for something else, except this is what I do, and I can't pick up another career at this age, but I'll have no choice…"

He listened as she talked in circles, her face becoming more and more panicked with every thought that entered her head. He hated seeing her so out of control. This wasn't his cool collected Jenny. He jumped slightly as the sound of springs, and looking around found Jen collapsed on the small couch, her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking suspiciously. The sound of a quiet sob was all he needed before moving quickly to her side. It was true that he wasn't good with words of comfort, but there was one thing that had never failed him when it came to calming Jen.

Seating himself beside her on the couch, he slowly slid his arms around her, pulling her body gently towards him. She didn't protest, instead she curled into him, hands gripping his shirt and her head buried in his chest.

She knew, even in this state that she would hate herself for this breakdown. She felt his arms resting across her back, felt his hand lay across the side of her waist, his fingers just touching her stomach, and she found herself calming. Her mind returned to the diary entry she'd been reading earlier, and she knew that he hadn't forgotten either. He still knew how to handle her.

The sound of his voice penetrated her mind, and she listened as he told her he'd protect her, that she had the best team on her side, and that most of all, they would make sure none of it got back to people it shouldn't.

She had stopped crying, her tears having dried in salty rivers down her cheeks, and she knew she should get up, move away from him and put on an air of professionalism once more, but she didn't want to, and Jethro didn't seem uncomfortable still wrapped around her. She'd stand up soon, dust herself off, and deal with everything the way a Director should. But really, what was a few more minutes?

:tbc:

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I have the next few chapters written, and while my laptop is away (it's been falling apart the last few weeks and it's going away to be fixed) and I won't have internet access, I should get even more written. Please comment, and know that this isn't just a Jibbs fic, I promise. The case is still there, there's going to be some cute McGee/Abby moments, and hilarious Tony scenes...and of course some Ziva. Jen will have focus, but still...the team's all there.