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Chapter Seven

Roger's breath hitched in the back of his throat when he felt a cold soft hand touch the small of his back. He looked back with a disgusted look on his face to the woman laid out on her back behind him with a cheshire cat smirk on her face and the covers pulled only up to her waist.

Roger sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He felt disgusted with himself. He blamed Collins really for all this. Then he thinks about how stupid that sounds. He can't blame Collins; he didn't force him to sleep with his ex girlfriend.

Sitting completely naked on the edge of Mimi's bed, Roger feels like crying. He wasn't absolutely sure that Mark was cheating on him, hell, he didn't even ask Mark who the guy was. However, out of spite and sexual frustration, which was a dangerous combination, Roger stormed down to Mimi's flat, with soft words and rough kisses. The rest was history.

I can't believe I just did that. Roger recites that line over and over again in his head, he shrugs Mimi's hand off him and bends down to pick his jeans up off the cold floorboards, the denim is cold against his skin, like pinpricks of guilt and filth sticking him all over his body. He begins to slip his shirt back on when Mimi's songstress voice calls to him. She sits up in bed, not bothering to cover up, Roger wishes she would. He can't stand the sight of her.

"You're leaving?" her voice sounds broken.

"I shouldn't have come here" comes his voice from behind the shadows.

"Why did you come here?" Roger can feel her glaring at him, even with his back turned. "Trouble in paradise? Another cock isn't getting the job done as much as you thought?" She spats, and Roger wonders what ever made him love this spiteful bitch so much.

Roger chooses his words carefully. "Let's not mention this okay?" he pleads "I love Mark…I-"

"Then why did you come fuck me tonight?" the sinister smile evident in her voice "That's how you show your love for someone?" She calls after him, but Roger is already slamming the door shut and racing back upstairs to the loft, in hopes of getting a shower before Mark is home.

When he slides the loft doors open, he's surprised to see his boyfriend cleaning up a space on the metal table with cartons of Chinese food. Mark doesn't so much as notice that anyone has entered the room. Roger clears his throat and waves a soft hello to his boyfriend. Mark looks up for a second and adverts his eyes before smiling softly and turning away. That certainly wasn't the way Mark said hello. Something wasn't right.

Roger paused for a second, studying his lover before walking into their bedroom for extra clothes. Roger is startled when Mark's voice breaks through the silence before he reaches the bathroom.

"Where were you?" Mark asks, trying to sound as if he didn't care.

"Um, just out…getting some fresh air you know" What a pathetic lie. Roger thinks to himself.

"Oh…I um came home early today and I…" he gestures to one of the cartons still on the table "But you weren't here" Mark's voice sounds so distant and lost, Roger begins to worry.

"I'm sorry" Roger walks over to his boyfriend and tries to kiss him, but for some reason he misses and gets Mark's cheek instead. Mark puts on a fake laugh and pushes him away. Roger's heart sinks in his stomach, and he chews his tongue before speaking again. "How long were you waiting?" he asks

"Four hours actually" Mark smiles for Roger's sake; it's the hardest thing to do right now. "You reek" Mark tells him and walks away with his arms folded. "Go take your shower" he smiles softly and walks over to the bay window.

Roger's heart pounds with fear as he thinks that maybe Mark knows what he did. "A guy called" he says before walking to the bathroom "his name is Liam"

"…Oh that's probally one of the directors…has a weird accent right?" Mark has his forehead pressed against the cool windowpane, not really partaking in the conversation. "Don't worry, I'm not interested" he smiles over at him.

Roger's heart settles in the lower part of his stomach and he just wants to burst out and tell Mark how sorry he is, but instead he nods with a fake smile and heads to the bathroom to wash off his guilt and regrets.

Later on that night when Roger is trying to pull Mark into his arms and settle in for some well-deserved sleep, Mark pushes away and fights against him, not wanting to be held. Mark tells Roger that he took the next week off to make it up to him for working so much these days, Roger is appreciative of this and tries to kiss Mark in thanks but once again is met with his right cheek and a hand pressing back against his chest, preventing him from getting any closer.

Roger is restless. He lets his hand travel down Mark's spine and to his ass, where he caresses softly and mumbles sweet words into his boyfriend's ear. Mark slaps his hand away and turns over on his back. Roger frowns and folds his arms across his chest. Speaking more to the ceiling than to Mark.

"Why won't you let me touch you Mark?" he says desperately

Mark stays quiet for a moment "I don't feel like it alright?" the tone used sounds foreign even to Mark.

"You won't let me kiss you either" Roger says in the pitch blackness of the room.

"Can we just go to sleep Roger?" he sighs.

"No" Roger grips Mark's shoulder from turning over "Tell me what's up?" he pleads.

Mark's eyes are a quiet, sorrowful, dull blue. "I know you were with Mimi" he says quietly, his voice trembling slightly. "I heard...everything" he may not cry but the tears are evident in his voice

Roger searches Mark's eyes silently and let's go slowly. "Mark I'm-"

"I need to…" Mark rolls out of bed with pillow in hand.

"Mark…" Roger begs, crawling to the edge of the bed, Mark is already gone. "…don't go…" he whispers in the darkness.