Note: I got my inspiration under the form of a special report about how an athlete gets to the Olympic Games. Thus I decided to make him go for a World Cup event before he sets out to accomplish his goal.
CHAPTER 2 :
CHINA EASTERN FRENZY
The day after, Guan comes to the bus wreck, located near the tire fire, so much as to take possession of it. An excited Otto happily begs, "Can I drive the bus again? Please, please, please!" Guan hears his pleas but Otto did not expect this kind of answer: "Your former employer fired you in part because you threw a cell phone off the bus, but, taking in consideration how far you were from the principal's office, you're a world-class cell phone thrower. If you received proper training, you can get into the US Olympic team of cell phone throwing for the 2012 Olympics, because it's almost too late for you to qualify for the Olympic team in Beijing. Anyway, do not purchase a cell phone lighter than 220 grams or there will be no deal"
A perplexed Otto asks Guan, "Do you actually want your company to sponsor me as an athlete? I mean, I never threw cell phones before, but I'm certain that I can get an IAAF-approved cell phone for competition." And Wang, who was previously watching his superior's attitude towards him, also pitches in, "When I saw the distance from the bus wreck to the principal's office, I realized that, even if you were fired, you actually had an athletic future. No one has since moved the wreck, but a conservative estimate is that there was about 60 meters from the driver's seat to the edge of the principal's office from a bird's eye view."
Guan gives Otto the leaflet containing the official rules of cell phone throw as issued by the IAAF (International Amateur Athletics Federation). "To make a throw, the competitor starts from a slightly recessed, concrete circle of 2.500 meters diameter. The cell phone, to make a valid throw, must land on a 40 or 60-degree arc marked by lines on the landing zone, and the thrower must not exit the circle until the cell phone has landed, then must wait for the judge's clearance to give clearance to exit the ring by the rear half. The distance from the front edge of the circle to the location where the cell phone has landed is measured, and distances are rounded down to the nearest centimeter. The competitor's best throw (usually a best of 3 or a best of 6) is recorded and the competitor who legally threw the cell phone the furthest is the winner. Ties are broken by using the second-best throws of either competitor, and the competitor who has the longer second-best throw is the better. Also, cell phones must not be any lighter than 220 grams." That's the exact transcript of the rules of cell phone throwing.
"Fair enough, I'll consider your offer and I report back to you", Otto says. To this, Guan says that sponsorship included… employment within the mainline China Eastern! "The Chinese will finally get to know what American bus drivers can really do!"
But he knows it's not all fun and games to be an Olympic-level cell phone thrower and he must also train without drugs. With the cell phone throwing event being held in the National Stadium in Beijing, also known by as the "Bird's Nest", in twenty days, he has to swear off drugs for the entire duration of the Olympic Games, even if he does officially not take part in the event. Therefore, he begins his journey by purchasing an used cell phone at a clearance sale, and then weighs his cell phone to be certain it is worthy of IAAF certification. Guan's voice echoes in his head, "Do not purchase a cell phone lighter than 220 grams" and the squeaky-voiced cashier does not quite believe him.
The squeaky-voiced cashier asks, "Why would you want to have your cell phone weighted?" Otto answers that the cell phone had to be weighted to achieve IAAF certification, because he purchased that cell phone for sport and he might be on the Olympic team should something go awry with the prime cell phone throwing team of the United States. This is only if the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) agrees to let him compete; Wang is a retired judge for throwing events, after all.
Despite its name, the IHAM (International House of Answering Machines) sells all kinds of communications-related merchandise. Of course, its speciality is answering machines, but that does not prevent the shop of actually making use of a scale, which is used to measure the length of cable wire so the people can compare the different kinds of wire (aluminium or copper, for instance) for some customers became weight-sensitive. Once he left the clearance sale of the International House of Answering Machines, Otto goes to an IAAF-certified field but the only such thing in the town is located at Springfield University. And Wang follows him as a passenger of the now China Eastern-owned bus. But university students also pay their fares, which are identical to that of the public bus for that occasion. Which means that the bus was free only for China Eastern and school staff along with Springfield Elementary students.
Otto warns the passengers, "Hang on tight because we're in for a wild ride!" and he tunes the bus' radio to a dedicated heavy-metal radio from Capital City.
Wang finally gets to know how reckless a driver the "athlete" his company sponsors can be. He also told him that, should he win a medal in either the Track and Field world championships or in the Olympic Games under China Eastern sponshorship, the Chinese system for athletic rewards would apply to him. "And I won't be homeless anymore!", he exclaims, as he learns that even a bronze medal would make him the proud owner of both the medal and a new house.
After a ride full of shortcuts that went through low-traffic, one-way streets, they finally arrive at Springfield University. Everyone except Wang got off the bus when the bus stops at the main building's entrance gate. Then, Wang orders Otto to drive his bus to the campus stadium, where he parks the bus next to the athletes' entrance.
Wang then tells Otto, "No pressure. Just make sure that, when throwing your used cell phone, you don't trip out of the circle." Having seen other people putting shots or throwing hammers, he tries spinning around so the cell phone can gain some momentum. Once released from his hand, his worn-down telephone flies and lands even further than when he first threw his lighter iPhone from the school bus. With Wang's encouragement, Otto learns that there is still time for him to take part in the last World Cup event before the Olympic Games.
An astonished, surprised Otto asks, "What kind of results must I achieve to get my place into the Olympic team? That would be the coolest thing in my life if I succeed!" Wang answers that the bus driver must make the top 8 to qualify and act as the second cell phone thrower of the American team. Also, he tells Otto who to expect to defeat, both in the World Cup event and, eventually, the Olympic Games: Chris Hughff from the UK, current holder of the world record and world vice-champion (silver medallist in Savonlinna), Lassi Etelatalo from Finland, current world champion, Andy Kincaid, the current top cellphone thrower of the US and currently ranked 3rd.
To even have a hope of defeating any of these three people, Otto knows that he must train hard, training as directed by Wang, for he is also the cell phone throwing coach of both Otto and Springfield University.
At home, the children convene with Marge about what happened to them, so the children can explain why they are so late. Bart begins to speak, "The school bus crashed on our way home. And then Otto threw a cell phone out of the bus' door." Lisa adds in that the bus has since been purchased by China Eastern so the school can rest easy about transportation issues.
Marge, somewhat angry about this situation, blames it on the underfunding of the school system. "However, China Eastern seems to sponsor not only the bus driver but also the school he drove for, so I think China Eastern is a responsible sponsor for the school", she says. "So shut up and encourage your bus driver responsibly."
Back from Moe's Tavern, Homer checks in with his wife and she sees him somewhat troubled, for he is noticeably down, even with all that alcohol. On the couch, he turns on the TV and Marge pulls the plug of the TV. "You have a problem", she says. "We need to talk about it seriously"
Homer tells her of China Eastern trying to do the chauffeur service from Moe's Tavern but China Eastern still looking for a driver. "With the cash you'd earn driving on China Eastern's behalf, we would finally do something fun!", Homer argues. "China Eastern? Will I drive the school bus?", Marge asks. Bart tells his parents that Otto may not drive the bus much longer, since he learned that he was sponsored by China Eastern because of his newfound passion: throwing cell phones for sport.
Otto continues his muscle training in a fitness room, pumping iron on the bench press when Wang interrupts him just as he does his 40th rep of his third series, "Sleep well tonight, for tomorrow, you're going to Shanghai! This is the only chance you have to qualify for the Olympic Games! Now, go to the carpet over there and get yourself in position to do set-ups!" Also, this is the moment where Otto cranks his radio up, filled with heavy metal music, like the music the Poison cover band played at his failed wedding with Becky, so he could put his heavy metal to good use.