Disclaimer: I don't own ANY people, or things, in this chapter…and story.
Hold. The. Phone.
Back up.
Whatever way you want to put it, just pause time and make what just happened not happen! I felt like I was being Punk'd, except there was no possible way that it could have been so. After alternating waves of shock and nausea, I finally mustered enough courage to look at Miley. I immediately wished I hadn't.
I could hardly recognize Miley (or Hannah…well, you know!) because there was a huge banana covering her face. Oh, wait. That was her smile. Well, good, I hope her face gets stuck that way. That's enough to give Hannah's fans nightmares until she's forty.
"Oh," finally I spoke, but that was all I could spit out.
"Yeah, it's really funny," Joe said. "Especially when he comes home all, 'Lilly's so amazing! Today, she told me to go choke on an avacado!'"
I couldn't recall ever commanding Nick to choke on an avacado, but I got the gist of what Joe was saying. My incredible witty remarks and biting sarcasm gave Nick pleasure. Some sick, twisted form of pleasure.
How is it that my strength was ultimately my downfall? Irony just decided to bite me in the ass.
"She's never told me to choke on an avacado!" Nick said. "She's told me to do plenty of other things, but she's never gone as far as to use fruit to wish death upon me."
"Well, if she says all of these horrible things to you, why do you like her?" I said sharply. Both Joe and Nick looked at me in surprise. I knew that they thought maybe I had possible feelings for Nick, which almost had me laughing and crying at the same time. "I mean, don't you think it's sort of pointless? Why bother with someone who causes you misery, Nicky?" I put on a false concern, even testing my limits so far as to comfortingly put my hand on his shoulder.
"Because she gives me that special feeling," Nick said. "When she insults me, it makes me feel, in a weird sort of way, honored that she even takes her time to do so. It's sorta like she likes me."
Ewewewewwwww! How delusional can this kid get? I know that adults always tell you that if someone makes fun of you, it's because they like you, but seriously? It's usually not the case. Usually, the bully just doesn't like your kid, and your attempts to get their hopes up only gets crushed—along with your kids lungs. Congratulations, I sure am glad you never decided to be a counselor.
"How…adorable," I said. "Uh, I have to go to the bathroom. Hannah, come with?" Hannah nodded and we slipped off into the McDonald's bathroom.
"OHHH MY GOSH, LOLA!" she squealed. "Nick likes you! Well, not Lola you, but Lilly you, oh my gosh!"
"This is horrible," I said flatly. "Horr-i-ble. And what happened to your enthusiam of my liking Joe?"
"Oh, that's still there," Miley assured. "But it's kinda hidden under all my enthusiam of NICK LIKING YOU!"
"Shh!" I hissed. "Miles, no one knows you're Hannah and that I'm Lilly."
"Yeah, that's a little sad that Nick doesn't know the source of his affection is actually on tour with him," Miley said wistfully. "Maybe when you guys are married and have fifty kids you can tell him."
"Uh, excuse me?" I asked, my eyes doubling in size. "I am not marrying Nick. I am especially not having fifty kids with Nick. Nick will be lucky to even get a hug from me when I have a lapse of sanity after this tour."
Miley just shrugged and had me follow her out from the bathroom. As we walked back to our table, we caught some things from the boys' conversation.
"Do you think Lola likes me?" Joe was asking Nick and Kevin. Nick, however, was too busy staring at his backround. The way he was hypnotized by mini-me was slightly unsettling.
"I think she's interested in you," Kevin said supportingly. "You should definitely tell her that you like her."
"You think?" Joe asked, cocking his head slightly. How adorable!
"Yeah, and when you and Lola are together, we can finally get Nick with Lilly!" Kevin said, smiling. The smile I was wearing slipped off quite quickly. I glanced at Miley, but she was no consolation at all, what with her face being blocked by that banana smile again.
"Lilly?!" Nick jumped up, looking around frantically.
Holy shit, he's pathetic. Nick's eyes caught sight of Miley and I, and he waved. We walked up to the table, with a lot of reluctance from me.
"Hey, guys," Miley/Hannah said. "Lola's not feeling too well, so we're going to go back to our tour bus. Talk to you later!" I shot her the best oh-my-god-thank-you-so-much-you're-a-lifesaver look I could, and hurried outside.
"Thank you!" I said, hugging her. She returned the hug and then dragged me back on the bus. After locking the door, she tore off her wig. I did the same.
"This tour is going to be interesting," Miley said.
"Oh, it certainly will be," I mumbled.
"I can't believe Nick likes you!" Miley said. "It's so weird that you're on tour with the boy you hate and he likes you. Isn't fate awesome?"
"Oh, yeah," I said, sarcastically. "But karma's a bitch."
"You're pretty big on that karma stuff," Miley said, pointing out the obvious.
"Sometimes, she's my best friend," I said, putting on a spooky voice. "And others…she's my worst nightmare."
"Ooookay, weirdo!" Miley said. She walked to the fridge to get a Vitamin Water. "What are you going to do about this love triangle?"
"There is no love triangle," I said defensively. "It's a love…line, between Joe and I, and Nick is just some odd angle who decided to jump in!"
Miley just shook her head and walked into her room on the bus, leaving me to think on my own.
I knew what I was going to do; I was going to stick with Joe.
See, the only problem was, I needed a way to get Nick out of the picture. Without killing him, cuz I can go to jail for that. And there is no way Joe and I could be together if I was in jail.
What's a girl to do?
Like it? Let me know in a review. :) Oh, and no matter WHAT Miss Truscott says, this is a NILLY. Cuz I'm the author, that's why.