The remaining faces on board were set to unsure grimaces. BlueDoctor and Donna looked across at one another, Jackie smiled at BrownDoctor – correctly anticipating that she was to return home – and Rose, fully anxious, couldn't bear even to face him. She fiddled with a knob on the console instead, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.
"It's time for one last trip," BrownDoctor chirruped as he jogged over to the console, patting Jackie's arm on the way. Donna winced, looking at first BlueDoctor and then Rose. "Dalig Ulv Stranden," he added, coming to a standstill between Donna and Rose. BlueDoctor looked at him with alarm. He was really going to do it; it was clear by his barely-masked melancholy that it wasn't just Jackie returning to the parallel world. "Better known aaaaaaaas..." he continued whilst manipulating the controls again.
"Bad Wolf Bay..." Rose uttered, battling the swooping sensation of dread in her abdomen.
Then nobody said a word as the TARDIS made her way uncomfortably through the gaps in dimensions, settling finally with an unimpressed groan. Moments passed in silence, before Jackie sighed and made for the door. Unable not to follow, BlueDoctor and Rose trailed after and the three stepped out onto the deserted beach.
"Fat lot of good this is! Back of beyond, bloody Norway!" Though she'd known the destination, Jackie was not impressed by their arrival. "I'm gonna have to phone your father again, he's on the nursery run. He'll kick up a fuss about coming all the way out here you know, and what do we do in the meantime?!"
BlueDoctor cleared his throat to cease the rant.
"Did I tell you about my baby boy?" Jackie turned her attentions to him instead. "Pregnant last time we were out here you remember?"
"Of course yeah, lovely!" BlueDoctor really did enjoy this domesticity rather more than his counterpart, who was only now exiting the TARDIS with Donna, whilst Rose dawdled around between the two pairs. "Brilliant! What you call him?"
"Doctor," Jackie responded, completely deadpan. BrownDoctor, Rose and Donna all stifled giggles, despite the situation, as they watched a mist of concern and amusement cross over BlueDoctor. He remained straight-faced though.
"Really?" He tried to hide quite how amused and flattered he was – in case it was true; you couldn't underestimate Jackie Tyler - and instead managed a tone of interest, tinged with doubt.
"No, you plum!" Jackie couldn't help but laugh, and Donna smirked in the background. "He's called Tony."
BlueDoctor opened his mouth ready to question further but was interrupted by Rose's realisation and annoyance.
"Hold on," she faced BrownDoctor, glaring. "What dimension are we in? This is the parallel universe isn't it?!"
"No place like home," BrownDoctor intoned. He had been preparing for this moment for hours now and had once more got his emotions under control.
"But it's not my home! My home is with you! Sorry Mum."
Jackie shrugged off her hurt and looked up at BlueDoctor who scowled into the low sun and looked back to his creators, as Donna began to explain how the gaps were closing up again.
"See, I really get that stuff now!" she finished. Both Doctors smiled knowingly and affectionately, but Donna wasn't to maintain the spotlight for long.
"Doctor, I'm not going to leave you now, I came all this way!" Rose protested fiercely, her eyes boring into BrownDoctor and ignoring the figures behind her.
"You've got to," BrownDoctor approached her slowly. "We may have saved the universe, but we've also created one massive side effect."
"Me," BlueDoctor voiced his comprehension of what BrownDoctor was doing.
"For one, he shouldn't even exist. For another, he destroyed the Daleks, he committed genocide. There's no place for him here, he's too dangerous."
"You made me, might I remind you!" BlueDoctor may have been accepting of his fate, but he wasn't going to go without a fight.
"Exactly. And I'm sorry about that, again, truly. But you were born in battle, out of blood and anger and revenge..." His face softened and his voice lowered as he turned to Rose again. "Remind you of someone?"
Rose looked away, fully understanding his point but struggling regardless to accept it.
"That's me," BrownDoctor continued. "When we first met... and you helped me. You made me a better man. You can do the same for him."
"But he's not you, what if I don't want to!"
"He needs you. That's very me." BrownDoctor fought the violent beating in his chest and blood pounding in his ears. Rose remained silent, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks. BrownDoctor softened even more and stooped a bit to her level. "You wouldn't deny me that?"
"It's not just that though, is it?" Donna spoke up, weighing into the situation with her fully-fledged humanity, whilst using the Time Lord consciousness to know the truth. "Don't you see what he's doing for you? You, tell her! Go on!" She coaxed BlueDoctor and Rose hesitantly turned to him.
He took a deep breath. "Remember what we talked about before?" He took a step closer to Rose and smiled his most encouraging smile. "I am, basically, him. Same thoughts, same memories... same everything." Rose nodded slowly. Behind her back BrownDoctor clenched his fists and gulped down the lump in his throat. Donna put a hand on his back reassuringly. "But there's something I didn't tell you. I've only got one heart. Part human."
"The ageing part," Donna piped up, helpfully. Rose didn't turn around, her eyes burned into BlueDoctor's chest, trying to picture the single human heart.
"Precisely. I'll grow old and die just like you... No regeneration, not even any half-regenerations like himself over there! Just one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you. If you want."
"You'll grow old at the same time as me?" she questioned, still unsure of this idea. Her voice quaked with each word.
"Together."
"The one adventure I can never have," BrownDoctor reminded. Voicing that sentiment did nothing for the spasms of agony inside of him, but he felt sure it would help Rose agree to this. Deep down he knew she wanted domestication, a mortgage, kids; a steady life. Deep down he knew that, however much he loved her, he didn't want to deprive her of it either.
He watched on, scowling slightly, as Rose reached out to feel BlueDoctor's heart. The slow, dull heartbeat of a half-man. Things were looking good though, and he afforded himself a wry smile. The TARDIS vworped a reminder that there were mere minutes remaining before the gaps would close off again and everyone turned to look at the source of the sound.
"Got to go," BrownDoctor said, first looking at Donna and then to Rose. "This reality's sealing itself off again. Forever." He turned to board the TARDIS once more and Donna slowly followed suit.
"Wait," Rose called out, jogging after him. "It's still not right cos... The Doctor... he's still you!"
"I'm him," BlueDoctor contributed.
"And I'm him," reaffirmed BrownDoctor.
"Alright," Rose weighed up the situation. "How about this? Come here, both of you." The two men faced one another, either side of her. Despite the circumstances she couldn't help but be a bit excited by the sight. "Answer me this..." She returned to the task in hand. "Last time, on this beach... on the worst day of my life – what was the last thing you said to me?" There was a pause. She looked to BrownDoctor, the true Doctor, to lead the way. "Go on, say it!"
He swallowed hard and furrowed his brow. A few seconds later, Rose still staring intently at him, he ventured to speak. "I said... Rose Tyler..." His face relaxed but he stopped, attempting to look decisive.
"Yeah... and? Where was that sentence going?"
BrownDoctor clamped his tongue between his back teeth and thought for a moment. To say it would ruin everything he'd set up this far... Not only would it ruin it for Rose, as she would be sure not to leave him then, but also for him. He knew that by voicing the words, he'd have to accept them himself, and to act on them. Such sentiment couldn't be shared mildly.
"Does it really need to be said?" he finally asked. This way there was no outright denial, which would harm her irrevocably, but likewise no confession that would change both their lives forever. Rose gazed at him, half-mystified and half-disappointed. She longed to rebuke him, to force him to admit it, but somehow... just couldn't. "We'll always have the bench," BrownDoctor whispered, causing Rose more pain than he could have imagined. It was essentially signing off their relationship, and she longed even more to argue with him. Ultimately though, she couldn't do it.
"New Doctor? How was that sentence going to end?" she said instead, facing the blue-suited man to her left. BlueDoctor too was unsure what to do now. He knew what he felt, and he knew what she wanted to hear. Yet the prospect of speaking it in front of his other self was too demoralizing. It would have broken him, to hear another man – least of all a total copy of himself – declare love for Rose... but if he didn't say it, she'd never stay with him, and the plan and turmoil would have been a waste. In a millisecond he decided.
He reached out a hand to cup her elbow and slowly leant in to her ear. BrownDoctor watched, no longer able to maintain the look of stoicism. His Adam's-apple trembled, his lips found themselves pursed and his eyebrows sunk down over dampened eyes. He silently gulped back the torment and looked on.
"I love you," BlueDoctor whispered to Rose. "Forever," he added, after a moment of still between the two of them. Slowly drawing back from her, he looked into her eyes. In turn she gazed up at him, a look of confusion and anguish still cast across her features. BrownDoctor held his breath, Donna and Jackie watched, on tenterhooks.
Suddenly Rose's face changed. She appeared set now. As everyone took a sharp intake of breath, having waited so long, she pounced. Grabbing the blue lapels of the new Doctor's jacket, she pulled him towards her to administer an accepting kiss. BrownDoctor turned away, his steely face cracking, as BlueDoctor returned the passion he was met with, wrapping his arms round Rose and almost lifting her off the floor. As the kiss flourished, BrownDoctor walked into the TARDIS, followed by Donna who looked back sorrowfully at the new couple.
It was only the sound of the door closing that caused Rose to notice anyone had moved; indeed that anyone existed outside of the man in her arms. But now that she did notice, she raced towards where the TARDIS was already dematerialising. Watching it disappear, she was flooded with emotion. There were so many contrasting feelings that she didn't know what she was thinking. Whilst the love of her life had just left her, again, he was also still stood on the sand with her. As if reading this thought, BlueDoctor walked up behind her and took her hand. She responded relatively coldly, not cuddling into him as she would have liked. The conflict going on in her heart was too overpowering. She turned instead to face the man attached to the hand in hers. He looked into her eyes, full of understanding. Neither of them felt entirely comfortable with this arrangement; neither wanted BrownDoctor to leave and they both knew their new life was not going to be as straight-forward as their embrace.
"Love is enough," BlueDoctor said finally, quietly, as they both gazed straight ahead to where the TARDIS had stood. Rose didn't speak, but her grip tightened round his fingers. For now, it was the best BlueDoctor could do; hoping his words, and his love, truly would be enough to combat the fissures of guilt they both felt. Suddenly he felt worse for the knowledge that BrownDoctor had two hearts. If that meant twice the heartache... it just didn't bear thinking about.
