A/N: Just 3 chapters left! They are all written, except I may possibly toy with the ending a bit. And if my mind continues to remember, I may just post them 3 weeks in a row.

All You Need Is Blood:

"Well hello, friends," Xakko said with sarcastic malice. He used his right hand, already free from the portal, to pull out the rest of his left arm. He then put both hands on the outside edges of the portal and pushed with all he had in an attempt to free himself. Luckily for our protagonists, who have been named like 3246 times already, his attempts led to him running out of breath quite quickly.

"Phew," Xakko said. "I've…(gasp)…I've got to stop…(cough)…stop going to Wendy's so much."

"You know," Carley pointed out, "they do have salads there."

Ryan's big mouth got the best of him, and before he could stop himself, he spurted out, "oh, and how would you even know, little miss triple-cheeseburger combo?"

Needless to say, his face immediately went red and he covered his mouth like the speak-no-evil monkey. (((A/N: Clarification: I'm not saying Carley is fat, this was written way back when one time she told me she went to Wendy's and that's what she got.)))

For once, Ryan was happy that Xakko began to talk, since it probably saved him from serious injury.

"Enough with the random ridiculous comments!" Xakko scorned. "At this rate, this story will never get finished!"

"Story?" Carley asked no-one in particular.

Xakko continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Speaking of the story, I haven't even been in it yet! And without Dottie here to stop me, nor to even witness me doing it, that's a good enough reason for me to kill you both. Besides, it's, like, my only job. If I wasn't trying to kill you, I'd be unemployed."

"But this isn't a fanfic or something," Carley said. "It's real life!"

Xakko then broke the fourth wall: "Don't tell her. She might crack."

"Look, it may be real life, C," Ryan said, pausing to give a knowing glance to the audience, "but we do have toon elements to use. There's got to be a way to close this portal and stop Xakko from getting in."

Meanwhile, Xakko had gone back to work attempting to push himself out of the portal, and was now sweating profusely.

Carley and Ryan were hard at work thinking, scratching their chins. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared above Ryan's head.

"I have an idea!" Ryan said.

"Oh yeah!" Carley said. "With the toon rules in effect, we can just make stuff randomly appear! We can use that ability to our advantage!" She then grabbed the light bulb and threw it towards Xakko, narrowly missing him, eliciting much cursing and swearing from the villain.

"Oh," Ryan said, finally realizing that the light bulb Carley had thrown had come from above his head. "That's a much better idea than mine."

"What was your idea?"

"Just never you mind."

"Okkay, fair enough. Anyways, let's see how good I am at pulling objects out from behind my back."

So Carley gave it a try, while Xakko very slowly continued to edge his way out of the portal. Her first try wasn't very useful – a rubber ducky. Then she produced a microscope.

"Well," Ryan said. "At least we can bash him over the head with that if need be."

Xakko whimpered at the thought, and thus began pushing with newfound vigor, perhaps hoping to catch them off guard and in the process avoid a microscope bashing (((A/N: the bane of all arch-villains, I'm sure.)))

Carley's next attempt produced a large glass of iced tea, which Ryan promptly grabbed and started to chug. Luckily for Carley, she was able to generate another for herself, which she placed on a nearby counter for later consumption.

Reaching behind her back again, Carley finally felt what she had been attempting to find in the first place. She walked up to Xakko, pulled the object from behind her back, and pointed it at his face.

A gun? A knife? Ha! No, my friends, a plunger.

Making sure she had a firm grip, Carley stuck the plunger on Xakko's startled face and began to push.

Xakko's muffled voice could be heard through the plunger: "oh, gross! This plunger damn well better have not been used before!"

After about a minute of vigorous pushing, Carley had successfully managed to get Xakko back though the portal and onto the toon side.

Xakko obviously hadn't given up on his plan to infiltrate the real world; he was hitting the plunger with his fists from the other side. But, defying normal logic, the plunger held steady.

Ryan stared at the hole now plugged by the plunger. "Well, that was an anticlimactic end to the chapter," he said.