Margot left Jayne and River spouting Shakespeare's snappiest dialogue at each other and went down the steps to the passenger lounge and hence to the infirmary. Simon was inside, trying to scope his own skull - without much success.

"Need some help?" Margot asked from the doorway.

He jumped a little then produced a false smile. "Yes I do. These instruments weren't made for self examination."

She came all the way in and took the scope from him. "Pity our Doctor was our only casualty. Put your head in here and hold still." she pressed the necessary controls, recorded the readings, then let him sit up for a look. "Worried about concussion?"

"Not really, but it's best to be sure." he answered studying the numbers.

"You've already acertained Inara didn't rupture anything?"

That got a genuine if rueful grin. "It just felt like she did."

"I trust you'll be more careful about barging into rooms in the future." Margot answered, then added. "You're worrying about the man I shot."

Simon flushed, then straightened up and looked at her steady. "Yes. Cold blooded murder bothers me."

Margot didn't turn a hair, she sat down to talk it out. "Not murder, self protection, and not cold blooded either - I get real heated when pushed around." she smiled a little. "I understand, Simon, I used to be soft and sentimental too - until it near got me killed a few times. After that I learned better."

"You're saying I'm going to have to learn better too."

Her eyes met his, bluish gray and sad. "If you want to survive out here, yes."

He turned away. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Even if it's the only way to keep your sister safe?" she probed softly.

"I'm a doctor - " he said with real pain. "My business is saving lives not taking them."

"Your business is protecting River, and yourself." Margot answered. "Killing in self-defense isn't murder - and it isn't wrong either. There are a lot of predators out here, Simon, you can't afford to give them benefit of a doubt. River's life is too important - and so is yours."

"When you put it like that..." he hesitated a moment then resumed. "I did take up arms once, Captain Reynolds was in trouble and they needed all hands to rescue him. Shepard Book says I didn't hit anybody - but I tried to, I meant to."

"It's difficult I know," she said gently, "especially at first. And God knows I'd never want you to get indifferent to killing, just hard enough to do it when you have to."

"Like you 'had' to kill that guard?" he asked with doubt in his voice.

But she nodded. "I really did, Simon. We couldn't afford having the alarm sounded. You know it's better than likely that man you and Derrial packed into the locker smothered before anybody found him. Derrial knows it too but feels the better for having given the fellow a chance. Me, I believe killing clean is more humane in the long run than half measures. But I'm not a man of God - nor a doctor of medicine either."

...

Kaylee checked over her inventory one more time then saved. "Funny thing, we did better outta being captured by pirates then some of the jobs we've done."

Shepard Book smiled his appreciation the irony as he fastened down a crate-lid. "We surely can find a use for the parts, and foodstuffs, and fuel - and it's good to get shuttle two back - but I don't know about the weapons." he glanced back at the four cannon lying in a tidy row on the deck.

Kaylee's look was also dubious. "It's not just a question of mounting, we'd have to redo half Serenity's wiring to hook them in to helm control. Still, could come in handy."

"And make us an object of suspicion." said Shepard. "We might be better off selling them for what we can get - a pretty penny probably."

"Break Jayne's poor lil' heart." Kaylee giggled. "You see the love light shining in his eyes?"

"Well, maybe the Captain will let him keep one as a pet." Shepard smiled.

Kaylee squinted up at the catwalk to shuttle one. Inara had her tea-spoiled rugs and cushions spread out all along it and was going from one to another with a hand lamp, checking and rubbing in a little more gray powder if it seemed called for. "How are your pretties coming, Inara?"

"I think they'll be all right." she answered, still intent on her work. "this stain remover you mixed up for me is working beautifully."

"Thought it would." Kaylee said cheerfully. "My Mama used to swear by it. Not that we had many pretties but she took right good care of those we did and that wasn't always easy with four big, clumsy men-oxes spilling and breaking stuff." she warmed to her theme. "I remember once Kurt got lube oil all over my one and only go-to-dancing dress. I just about cried my eyes out, but Mama said she'd fix it nice as new and she did. And then she took Kurt out back of the shed and wupped him good for bringing greasy work into the house."

Inara lightly descended the stair to hand the little jar back to Kaylee. "Let's see, Kurt was your younger brother, right?"

"Mm-hm. Kash was the older and there was Cousin Shad, Cousin Sadie, Mama, Daddy and me."

Inara smiled warmly at her friend. "Sounds like such a strange way to grow up to me, surrounded by boys and machinery."

"Weren't no boys at your training house?"

"Only a few, and we girls didn't have much to do with them." Inara's eyes unfocused. "It was a very structured upbringing, very disciplined. I loved every minute of it but sometimes I wonder if I missed something important growing up that way."

Kaylee looked dubious. "Sounds like a fairytale to me, nothing but pretty things and fancy ways...like a princess."

"I was a princess." they all looked up to see River standing on the landing above them. "Daddy called me his princess. Mother let me dress up in her tiara and diamonds for my eighth birthday party. I had a blue dress, real silk and sewn all over with little crystals and pearls." slowly she sank down to sit on a step, arms hugged around her. "I had two ponies, Snow White and Rose Red, I named them after the girls in a fairy story. Every month Daddy would let me pick out ten new books from the cortex catalogues. I was going to be a prima ballerina - or a physicist...I never decided which." tears were welling up in her eyes and dripping down her cheeks. "My room was all blue and yellow and I had my very own study right next door." suddenly she lurched to her feet, clutching the rail. "I want to go home. Simon! Simon!"

Her brother burst out of the passenger section, looked frantically around, saw her and ran up the steps to her.

River flung herself into his arms. "Take me home, Simon. Take me home! I want Mother, I want Daddy. Daddy! Mother!"

Simon held his sobbing sister helplessly, not knowing what to say. The group below, now including Margot, looked up at them just as heart torn and helpless.

"You can't go home little girl." It was Mal, from the top of the stair. River turned a tearstained face to watch as he descended the steps to her. "You can't go home, sweetheart, none of us can. That's how we all come to be on this boat, because we have nowhere else to be. Serenity is home now - for as long as you want it. That's a promise."

"Serenity." River whispered. "Serenity." the tears stopped and a little color leaked back into her face. "That's a beautiful name."

Mal nodded. "Yes, it surely is."

Slowly River turned her brother loose, reached out a hand to stroke the railing next to her. "Serenity. Home." then she looked down and smiled those staring up at her. "Hi everybody. Want to play jacks, Kaylee? I'll let you win."

"Let me!" Kaylee shot back, quickly rearranging her face into mock anger. "You come down here and I'll make you eat those words, River Tam!"

River skipped down the steps, fishing jacks and ball out of a pocket of her skirt.

Shepard Book took the manifest padd out of Kaylee's hand and headed for passenger country.

Margot turned to Inara. "Taking over the catwalks are you?"

"No just borrowing them for a bit. Here, help me get my things back into my shuttle." they started up the steps together.

Simon turned to Mal. "Thank you."

The Captain looked down at the two girls, now settled on the deck jacks glittering between them, with brooding eyes. "There're times I feel like screaming for my Ma too."

Inara gave him a smile as she and Margot reached the landing. "Just when I think I've got you figured out, you surprise me again."

Mal shrugged off his broodiness with visible determination. "That's me, surprising."

"Very much so." said Margot, which got her a sharp look as she and Inara turned to climb to the shuttle. Mal frowned after them for a beat, then went back up to crew quarters.

Simon went down, gave his sister a cautious assessing look as he passed. She was giggling triumphantly, scooping up a handful of jacks. Kaylee shot him a quick reassuring smile before returning her attention to the game.

"Hey, hold on there. My turn now."

Simon turned away. Book was waiting for him in the passenger lounge. "You okay, son?"

"I guess so." he sat down shakily. "But to hear her call for Mother and Dad after the way they failed her - failed us -"

"Try to forgive them, son, for you own sake. It was fear, not malice that closed their eyes."

Simon leaned back, shutting his own. "I think you're right. We had a good childhood. They gave us everything, including love, but they never understood River. And maybe they never understood me either."

"It's a terrible enlightenment, the day you realize your father and mother are mere human flesh."

Simon opened his eyes, producing a shaky smile. "Yes, yes it certainly is. Is that from the Bible?"

Shepard smiled. "No, it's from a philosophical fiction. But a true saying for all that."

...

Note: Shepard's words are paraphrased from a chapter heading in Frank Herbert's novel 'Dune': 'There is no more terrible instant of enlightenment then the one in which you discover your father is a man - with human flesh.'