Heh. xD
I love this story. Dunno why, but I do. -pets Rufus and Tseng-
So, we're back again to Rufus. Yay.
Oh, this chap is really angsty. lol. I realise that, so you don't really need to point it out, but it's ok if you do. lol.
Warnings: Refer to chapter one kthnx.
Chapter 3
What kind of a person would I be if my life held no promise but hurt and suffering?Was there any alternative to an existance of betrayal, facades and corruption? No... Well, not as far as I am aware... But... corruption and power breed obsession... perhaps not necessarily of the bad kind. After all, I am Rufus Shinra, and I am a man obsessed.
--
"Vice President!"
"What is it?"
God, he was the figure of sinister itself, and his mere prescence unsettled me. As brilliant minded as he was, his insanity rivalled his intelligence. Luckily for him, I had chosen long ago to keep him aboard when the time came.
"I wanted your opinion on a chemical compound..."
Hojo then thrust the papers in my direction, the elevator continuing ints painfully slow descent upwards. I could feel Tseng watching Hojo carefully, and I smiled slightly. Being on very good terms with his SOLDIER counterpart had left Tseng both untrusting and bitter towards Hojo, almost as much as the General himself. I briefly looked over the professor's proposed creation of a new energy source, and shook my head. He'd missed an extremely crucial detail. It was easy to miss, yes, but it was crucial just the same.
"You have written, as a procedural method, 'extraction of Frg and Mko to be infused with K'..."
"Yes. To form, theoretically, a..."
"Potassium is stable when combined with mako, but you honestly intend to infuse it with Firaga? It's chemically unstable. You'll end up with a reaction you can not control and blow up the entire city..."
Hojo snatched back the papers and scoured over them frantically, as the elevator stopped on the fifty second floor and the General stepped inside. He nooded towards me in greeting, and I did the same.
"How did I... How could I have possibly..." Hojo spluttered, as a small smirk crept along Sephiroth's lips.
"I don't know professor, but I do suggest a refresher course on basic mater-chemic fusion before you approach me with this proposal again..." He gaped at me slightly in response, before nodding curtly and getting off at the next floor, clearly disgruntled. What had he expected, honestly? He had produced this theory before me four times now, and had disappeared to the labs afterwards everytime to fix a flaw that I had noted. It was obvious that he was perturbed by my corrections, and somewhat embarrassed that I had to correct him so often. He, who was a trained and professional scientist, being corrected and adjusted by a twenty year old businessman, effectively. I didn't bother too much with today's reaction from the professor. It was simply one less person that I would have to deal with at this morning's meeting. The less people to deal with, the better...
"Sephiroth... I hope you are well?" Tseng greeted softly from behind me, and the General nodded, turning bemused eyes to me.
"Yes, thank you Tseng. I am always pleased to hear the Vice President get the better of our self-proclaimed genius..."
"He's quite the perfectionist, but he somehow manages to miss the most blatantly obvious details. He almost single handedly destroyed Midgar..." I sighed, and the General smirked.
"I suppose I should thank you for my life, sir..." He mused, as we reached our floor.
"No need to General, you may not want to after this meeting. Scarlet has a proposal..."
Sephiroth tensed slightly, and threw Tseng a look. It was no secret that Weapons Development was not appreciated by either SOLDIER or the Turks, and neither Sephiroth or Tseng bothered to hide their dislike of Scarlet herself. They had reportedly had heated encounters in the past at meetings held by my father, yet today was the first time I was to hold a meeting with all three in attendance. No, executive meetings had always been left to my father, and Sephiroth himself had advised him not to allow my attendance. I bore no grudges to the General however. If anything, he had been doing me a favour all these years. He was currently at a press conference over a terrorist uprising throughout all eight sectors, however, and left me to the executive's discussion regarding the issue. Tseng's earpiece had been picking up the quiet transmissions from the conference as the Turks collaborated my father's security. He, however, had come along with me, after requesting to do so to my father. He was right, it would seem, as the air was thick with tension as soon as we entered the room. We all took our seats however, Tseng standing behind me as we did so, and I began proceedings. It was sure to take some time today...
--
This was not what I had expected, and of course, was left entirely in my care. So far, Scarlet had rattled off proposal after proposal regarding weapons development and it's re-structuring, all the while avoiding the elephant in the room with us. Not a single mention of the uprising disaster had occurred, and Scarlet herself had been somewhat skillful in tip-toeing around the topic, as the tension steadily grew, and the General's eyes began to glass. In past experiences, the glassing of emeralds had never been a pleasant experience, and it was not looking to show otherwise anytime soon. Ha... prehaps this meeting would end up with a little more flair than I'd first thought...
"... and so I was proposing a further detailed outline on the budgeting of the company and which departments shall be allocated the yearly crisis funds..." Scarlet smiled sweetly, the gesture far too fake for me to even comprehend stomaching at the moment.
"Are you hoping for them, Miss Scarlet?" Sephiroth asked lightly, and she held her steadfast smile, her eyes hardening slightly.
"Of course, General, aren't we all?"
"And I suppose that you are to hold full claim for the past few days then? Or even provide some kind of explanation? I'm sure should we have had access to your department's fine armory and artillery, we would have fared wonderfully..."
And here comes the elephant... Sephiroth's gaze was cold and un-moving. Scarlet's cheeks flushed minutely, as she scowled, her eyes as equally cold and ominous.
"Your idiot SOLDIERs couldn't tell a truly fine piece of weaponry from a toilet brush!" Scarlet finally managed to hiss, and the emerald green of Sephiroth's eyes flashed menacingly.
"I beg your pardon Miss Scarlet, but I believe you may be highly misguided in your judgments..."
Sephiroth had always been highly polite, even in an argument, but I knew that masamune could be pulled out and at her throat before she could say 'pompous ass'. Yes, a favoured nick name for Sephiroth given by Scarlet herself. It was always behind his back, or course, but surely it accounted for something... If she slipped up any time soon, which I secretly hope she does, we may just witness her beheading.
"Ha! You think your little puppet boys can dance around on your fingers and make friends with those marionette Turks, all the while sincerely believing you're a use to this company in the slightest?!" She scoffed, and I felt the heat radiating behind me to a rather intense level, before it was swiftly delivered.
"His puppets and my marionettes seem to have little difficulty trapsing across your own hands whenever you feel the urge to pull strings. Perhaps if they had been allowed to do their jobs, sector six may have been saved from the damage it now suffers. Unfortunately, resources were stretched to capacity because they were off running errands like paper boys under the orders of a hussy with far more bark than her pissy little bite..."
Well...
Tseng's little outbusrst had left somewhat of a stunned silence around the conference table, before Scarlet let out a feral hiss, seemingly beyond words, and Sephiroth let out a small snort of laughter. Tseng was brilliant... and this vicious side of him? Was it wrong to be extremely attracted to it? He was the most fired up and passionate that I had ever seen him, and it radiated a strong sex appeal that I was having difficulty denying. Scarlet then slammed her fists on the table, as she hissed once more and rounded a burning gaze onto Tseng.
"You piece of Wutaian scum! How dare you speak of morals to me! You claim superiority, but you are a traitor to your country and an inconvenience to your company. It takes very little skill to pick up street rats and trian them to kill, and yet you attempt to belittle me..."
"You have little right to speak of morals yourself as you sit in a chair held by sexual favours and blood money from your own hired assassinations... You disgust me..." Sephiroth hissed in return, palms slamming against the table, forcing it to groan under the pure force. Tseng remeained deathly silent before me, although the sweltering gazes I felt focused in Scarlet's direction had left me somewhat enraged myself. Who the hell did she think she was?
"You defend this scum of the Earth General, even after his kind killed waves of your warriors... slaughtered your brothers, your family..." Scarlet paused in apparent distaste, "You continue to defend him, even after all his people have done..."
"It was not Tseng personally, Scarlet. Would you like to be made accountable for your father's actions? Tseng is a loyal Shinra worker and a fantastic Turk Commander. How dare you sit there and undermime him like that..." Sephiroth hissed, the mahogany cracking slightly as his pressure on the table increased. My stoic angel continued to stand in silence behind me, loathing radiating from his every pore, as the room's occupants began looking to me for guidance. What the hell was I meant to do? It was like Hojo's unstable chemical reaction. Once this had started, it wasn't going to stop until something exploded.
"Undermime him? what is there to undermime? He should have been shot with the rest of-"
"Enough..." a voice hissed, and the realisation settled in that it had been me. The room fell eerily silent, as Scarlet rounded her gaze on me.
"...Just... enough..."
"Vice President! Surely not even you defend this worthless..." She began, but she stopped, as my hand moved of it's own accord. It was as if I wasn't my own person anymore, as the gun remained steady in my hand, its power a little unsettling in my control.
"You will shut your mouth Scarlet, or so help me God, I will shut it myself..." the shadow of myself warned, as she floundered wordlessly, her eyes never moving from the barrel of that weapon. I could take a life. Right here, right now. The power was incredible, and it was almost breath-taking. It was a small glimmer of the exhiliration my knight must feel, and here I was, doing it for him. The silence seemed to stretch on forever, and I was vaguely aware that many of those in my company were holding their breaths. Yes, I was in control, and they all knew it. Perhaps it was why my father chose to be such an asshole. This feeling of absolute submission from everyone around him. My finger moved to pull the trigger, but before I could, a gentle hand encased my own and slid the cool metal from my fingers. I looked up to the electric storm that was Tseng's face, and he shook his head, placing the revolver on the table before me, just out of my reach. Tseng nodded to the members of the room.
"...Excuse me..." He said quietly, before slipping from the room in silence. Sephiroth followed shortly after, the mako in his eyes burning brightly. He had been known to excuse himself when he had a genuine concern of killing a comrade, and his heated presence leaving through the conference room doors usually eased some of the think tension within the air. Not today however. No. It was me today, that had held the power in my hands, and being in charge of the meeting, I could not simply excuse myself from the room. I could, however, excuse the rest of them, and that I did.
They left hurriedly, and I was alone, with my mind the proverbial storm in a teacup. The single image was burnt into my mind, of his face... The image of my knight's face, as he stood there with my hands in his own... What was the prominent emotion? I couldn't even tell. I knew what was there though, and it was shock, it was horror, and it was confusion. It was a kind of sadness that was almost unbearable to bear witness to. Scarlet... you slut... But wait, no... He had stood there, and he was silent in all his beauty whilst she insulted everything he loved and cherished. He concealed all his emotion at her onslaught, but he had opened up a puzzlement of them at my actions. I'd made him leave. It was me. Once again, he had placed me before himself, and my selfish actions had cost him for it. He hated her beyond anyone he knew, he had said that himself, and yet he would not allow me to shoot her. For one reason or another, he had stopped me from doing something he surely wanted, and it was for my own sake. Regardless of that, news would reach my father, and I would be severely reprimanded. But... he was worth it. He was very much worth it. Tseng had become a large part of my life, whether he had worked at gaining it or not... He had shown me compassion, and in return I gave him personal tales, thoughts, memories. He gave me patience, and in return, I gave him my time. He gave me loyalty, and I gave him the trust with my life. He gave me an insight into himself, and I'd given nothing. No, I'd given him nothing, but the bastard had helped himself to my heart. I should hate him. I should loathe how he changed me, moulded me, mended me... I was fine before he got here, but now I'd die if he leaves. Dependancy. It was a foreign term, and a foreign feeling... What a bitch it was.
The barrel of that gun was almost staring at me, the glint of the metal against the glass surface as the light reflected down. It was captivating... I'd been willing to kill for him. I should be ashamed. He had always been an untouchable gold and a barrage of glimpses at the unreadable emotions that occassionally flitted across his face. Until last week. I'd awoken, sobered almost instantly, and I'd been resting in his arms. I had when I had initially woken from our cab ride, but this time had been different. He wasn't holding so much as embracing, his head resting against mine. It was almost... loving... I'd taken the opportunity then to slip my arms around the lithe waist, and his name fell unbidden from my lips, and yet, I continued to feign sleep. Something had told me that the moment we were sharing was exclusively for him. It was a pained gesture, and I was unsure what he would do should he know I was awake. So, I chose not to act. No, he never deserved pain. Never. It was a torment I never wanted to burden him with. So, I 'slept', and he lay me down, covering my body with his quilt as he slipped from the room, those soft words on his lips.
'Sleep well, my prince...'
I see the irony now, that it was those very words that drove me from slumber for the entire night. Perhaps it was then, as it is now, the realisation that I had become too dependent. That I had become so reliant on the Turk that I could not comprehend a further day without him... That was what drove me to it... carrying a weapon. It had been simple enough. Reno had been all to eager to please, as I know he always will be, and had slipped me the revolver from the armoury, regardless of the risks to his life and career. Tseng would know though, and my stomach tightened at the mere thought of the redhead suffering consequence for my action. Another one to be added to the list of those I continually broke.
I trailed a finger over the barrel of the gun, the metal leaving a trickling sensation along my skin. Such power, such strength, such grace... this weapon was all that I could not be. My father had made sure that the power and strength I had was as limited as possible, ensuring he would reign for a long time to come. This grace... this beauty... This world was one where this weapon was accepted with awe and wonder. What was I? Nothing. Nothing but pain, and hurt, and complications. This weapon... it could end it all...
It teased at me, the opportunity at all I had damaged being left behind. My father could find a more willing successor to his 'throne'. My Turks could find a fitting subject to accept as their own. And Tseng... The ever luminous Tseng... he could find someone he deserved. He could find someone that would provide him with a simpler existance. A nice girl with which to raise a family free from this corruption and the weight of this over bearing power. He could find someone that would provide him with appropriate emotional response, and not a fucking facade built over 20 odd years of burden. Burden... That and pain would be all that I could offer. No... no... I could not bear anything but his happiness. The ache in my stomach continued, and my eyes prickled with heat. Tears, huh? It was somehow ironic... emotional effect that tears were afterall...
My trailing fingers clasped around the barrel and raised it within my fingers, cradling its weight in my palms. My father, what would he say? What would he think? What would he tell the people? Anything he produced would surely be a lie, the overbearing shame of a suicidal son would ruin him. But wait... I wouldn't hear any of it... No more of the lies, and the beatings, and the cold hatred radiating from his eyes... My father's voice mocked me in my ears even now...
'Fear is not an option...'
Ha... another disappointment, you bastard... The gun trembled now in my grasp, as I placed the barrel against my temple, and murmured a final name from my lips, my fingers fumbling to grasp towards the trigger. Wait... the sound of hurried footsteps then across tiled floor, before the gun was wrenched from my hands and slid across the table. Firm hands grasped my shoulders then, as I began to sob drily, my head pulled roughly against an erratic heartbeat. I was pulled to the floor by shaking arms, and rocked gently, before a more violent shake followed.
"Fuck you Rufus, you selfish bastard..." Came the hiss in my ear, as the hands moved to my back and head, clutching tightly to my coat and hair. It was so familiar...
"You selfish, arrogant little fuck of a kid... How could you even consider doing that to me?"
'I don't know' I wanted to reply, 'I thought it would help you... I want to help you...', but I was lost for words, as gentle kisses fell against my hair and shallow breathing fell against my ear. Tearless sobs continued to rack my body, as the gentle rocking resumed.
"Don't ever make me hate you... ever..." He whispered into my hair, "Or I will do it myself next time, and not a soul will be able to stop me..."
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I just wanted... I just..." I choked, and he buried his face into my hair, his arms enveloping me in a shield from the rest of the fucked up world. This was right. This was living. I clutched desperately at his suit, and for once, he didn't seem to mind about creases. His heartbeat last week had been as soothing and gentle as the arms that had held me. Now, it threatened to explode with the rapid thumps against his chest.
He'd been pained, once again, and it was because of my own selfish actions. He was obliged now, to tell my father what I had done. I'd lose my right to the position if deemed mentally unstable, and those years of unbearable torment would have been for nothing. The lashings, both verbal and physical, would never cease. He'd beaten me within an inch of my life before, and I had no doubts that he would do it again. My mother wasn't here to protect me this time though... I could see him now, bloodlust mixing with that intense disappointment and disgust held only for me, as he would order the Turks elsewhere and beat me to his heart's content. I'd be better off dead...
"You should have... let me..." I choked.
"Let you what? Pull the trigger?"
"Yes..."
"Only if you had killed me first..."
"He'll kill me anyway... he'll kill me..."
I couldn't stop the flow of god forsaken tears, even as he pulled back from me and forced me to hold his gaze. He looked unlike I'd ever seen him before, as he clutched my shoulders. Usually so stoic, his face was drawn and deathly pale, and his eyes swirled with a miriad of emotion and mako. Anger was the first I recognised in the haze, accompanied by sorrow and relief. It took me a moment longer to read that deeper emotion. One I'd never seen on a Turk before. Fear.
"Who Rufus, who?" he urged. My mouth opened to speak, but I froze, as that very figure slipped into the room.
Tseng must have seen it in my eyes, felt it in the tensing of my shoulders, as he stood slowly and turned to face my father.
"President Shinra..."
"What's going on here, Tseng?" he asked icily.
My world was about to crumble and fall. Every loyalty the Turks held was with my father, and it was his duty as Turk commander to inform him of any mental health concerns within the company, regardless of status or position. I wiped viciously at my eyes and halted my tears, standing behind the Turk slowly, preparing myself for the immediate onslaught that would follow.
"Your son collapsed at his desk sir, and fell to the ground. I was helping him up and ensuring he was steady enough to move..."
No... it couldn't be... Tseng had lied to the most powerful man in the world, broken his Turk guidelines, gone against his own morals of truth, and it had been for me. My father then rounded his scrutinizing gaze on me.
"Then what are you crying for, boy?" He asked coldly, and I had never felt smaller in my life. I'm a coward... I am a god damned coward...
"If I may sir... I was intending to use smelling salts to bring him to, but I used the wrong chemical compound..." Tseng said quietly, pulling a half empty vial from his coat pocket and showing it to my father.
"Ah... Try not to make the same mistake again, Commander..."
"Of course not, sir..." Tseng replied smoothly, "I am terribly sorry..."
"Very well, no need to concern yourself too much. Rufus... I need to speak to you. Today. Be in my office at four pm, no later boy..."
"Yes, father..."
"Not a minute later boy..." He warned, the ice glittering within his eyes.
"Yes, father..."
He left then, and I dropped back onto my shaking knees. I felt hollow, broken, drained... What exactly had just happened?
Tseng lowered himself to his knees also, his gaze meeting mine once again.
"Why..."
"It will be a cold day in hell before that bastard ever harms you in my care."
"He's your boss, Tseng..."
"I belong to you now. I am no one else's."
He sounded so confident, so sure, and I envied him for it. I envied his optimism and surity that everything would be ok, and I envied the strength he held in mentioning it. I somehow managed to use some of his own strength in that gaze, and returned to my feet a second time, my eyes never leaving his.
"I ask you now..." He said softly, standing up once again, "Why?"
I tore my eyes away in guilted shame.
"To help them... The Turks, my father, my mother, my employees, the future heir... you..."
"You're an idiot."
He said it flatly, and I could not deny shock at his response.
"...What?"
"The Turks, your employees, your mother, myself... How would it help? You are our future ruler, and by simply by continuing to exist, you bring with you the hope for us all..."
"My father sa-"
"Fuck him. Fuck whatever bullshit he decides to inflict upon you. He is useless Rufus. Useless. You? You're so much more. You are Shinra's future, our future, the world's future, and I will forever hold you and all you represent in the highest regard. But not when you do things like this... Don't ever make me hate you Rufus, don't make me lose my hope..."
He looked away then, angered or possibly hurt, and he waited. He waited, as always, for me to tell him what to do. He waited for the guidance I provided and the orders I delivered. Perhaps he was not what he always seemed. I was surely right. I had always believed there to be a far gentler soul within that beautiful mind than what he showed. Perhaps he was as lost in an existance as I was, and was simply seeking another to accept that and seek help with. Yes Tseng. Only for you...
"You have my word, Tseng. Will you remain to assist me?"
"I planned on nothing but that, Vice President..."
I nodded then, attempting to clutch at the final shreds of my dignity I held, and straightened my suit. I built the walls of that facade as best as I could, and nodded once more in self assurance. It was time to play obediently loyal son, and my part required significant skill. My guard then reached out, fixing my tie, as his eyes smiled at me from a neutral face once again.
"Fit for a king..." he remarked, and I smirked.
"Best I go meet with him then."
"Perhaps you're right..." My guard nodded lightly, a smirk playing along his lips as he escorted me from the room, after slipping a discarded revolver into his coat pocket.
--
A/N: Did someone say Angst? No? Just me?
Oh, third last chapter this is. So much for no more than three, and only four. lol.
I just never want it to end. :(
I'll consider writing that sequel if you ask, but otherwise, Birth of the Phoenix is almost done. ;;
Reviews please? -