Name Of The Past – Chapter Fourteen
Name Of The Past – Chapter Fourteen
Reid waited by the entrance. He had planned on leaving all together, until he saw the amount of people running towards the direction he had just left. He followed instantly behind not wanting to believe the sudden thoughts that was running threw his head. He stopped at the window when they rammed themselves in to the room he had left Izzy in, he watched as she got pushed away, anger running threw him at the brutality of how she was being so carelessly rejected away from her grandfather. He was about to rush to her side when he himself got pushed out the way, machine after machine getting pressed into any spare place in the miniature room. He saw the AED get turned on and he felt his breathing stop, he let his eyes fall away from the crumbling Izzy and towards his clamming hands, and then towards the hallway. He couldn't do it, it was to soon he couldn't be anywhere near that damn machine.
Reid pulled another smoke out of his pocket and placed it on his lips, flicking open his Zippo as soon as he pulled It out of his pocket and lit the end, breathing in as soon as the end started to burn. He turned round instantly at the sound of the door behind him getting yanked open. "Izzy" he breathed out the smoke and looked at her, fighting against himself to walk the small distance between then and pull her into his arms. Shoving the lighter back into his back pocket he took a small step towards her, the last of her tears slowly drawing patterns down her face as she kept her eyes glued to the ground.
"have you got a spare one?" her voice was a whisper, but she didn't care anymore. this wasn't the first time Reid had seen her like this, and right now she was glad he had stayed. She watched out of the corner of her eyes as he pulled the pack out of his side pocket and offered her the wanted cigarette. She grabbed it instantly and guided it to her lips, holding her hand out for his lighter. She flicked it open but lost the flame, sighing to herself she tried again moving it towards the end sticking out of her mouth but let out a small cry when she one again let it go out, cursing under her breath she went to strike the wheel again when she felt a worm hand wrap around her cold ones and take the Zippo out of her hand along with her smoke.
"give it here" Reid's voice was soft as he brought the cigarette to his mouth and lit it with ease, shoving the lighter away and taking in a drag of smoke before placing the stick back into the slightly parted lips of the girl in front of him never letting her captured eyes roam away. "im so sorry Izzy" he finally broke the silence of them smoking against each other, and let his hand touch the top of her arm, ready to move it if she made any rejecting movements. He watched as she flicked the half smoked cigarette out of her fingers and moved towards him, braking the small gab between them and placing her lowered head on to his chest. He gave a jagged breath out before wrapping his hands tightly around her now shacking frame. "I am so, so sorry baby" he whispered snuggling his face into her hair as he felt her silent tears sock into his t-shirt, repeating his words to her.
After a few minutes of crying Izzy moved her head, feeling Reid kiss her softly as she tightened her grip on him, she felt him kiss her head again as she moved away from his chest and looked up at him. Reid moving his hand up her back slowly watched her shiver against him as he placed another kiss on her skin, "he's left me alone" she whispered rubbing her face gentle against his now cupping hand as she let another few tears fall freely down her cheeks. "im all alone" she chocked on her words as she closed her eyes shut and tried to stop the tears from falling.
"your not alone Izzy" Reid felt his heart pull at the sound of her voice, he moved her face closer to his and tenderly kissed her closed eye lids, "im right here" he whispered, against her skin letting his breath tickle her. He tightened his grip on her waist when she suddenly pulled away from him, her penetrating eyes locked on to his with confusion.
"Reid" she whispered, moving her face inches from his as her eyes never looked away. "Iz" he exhale a reply as he took in her sweet scent licking his lips subconsciously as he felt her breath burning on to them. He took a deep gulp not being able to control his hormones any longer and capturing her lips with his instantly feeling her hunger as she moved her hands around his neck bring him closers as he bit on her bottom lip hard, smirking against her cry as he licked the lower of her swollen lips, he pulled it into his as he began to nibble against it. He felt her hand run threw his hair grabbing a good hand full and pulling it against it aggressively, sudden memories of their night together ripped threw his mind as he growled against her captured lip before ramming his body against hers his free hand roaming its way down to her back and over her bum pushing hard, making the front of her body collide with his.
Izzy pulled away from him and looked behind her, feeling his hands wander over her body as he kissed down her neck, nibbling on her exposed collarbone. "Reid" she whispered looking back at him her eyes gleaming when she saw him look down at her, she had never been looked at the way he was looking at her right now and it made her stomach thunder. "im not begging again" he playfully scowled feeling her hands tighten on his wet shirt as she started to walk backwards, her aching eyes blazing against her pale skin as she pulled him with her, stopping when her back fell flat against the stoned wall of the building. She looked up to her, her teeth digging into the side of her bottom lip making his belly flip.
He captured her lips with his again and let his hands run down the side of her body, lifting her up when he got to the back of her legs and wrapped them against his waist. Jerking himself against her, trailing his kisses down her neck, sucking the skin at the bottom in his mouth as he heard a moan escape her lips.
"I don't want to be alone Reid" her tears hit him like a truck, letting go of her skin as if it stung he looked at her. It was so obvious why she was doing it, why she was giving into him so easily. "I cant do this" he looked away from her and licked his lips tasting her on his skin and cursing. He slowly let her go and gently placed her back on the ground, finally looking back at her hurt face.
"you cant do what Reid?" her voice was shaking as she tried to kiss him again letting a tear fall over her cheeks as he pulled away from her.
"this" he cupped her face with his hands and wiped the tears away from her eyes, he would do anything to have her under him again, but this was not the right time. She was hurting and he had no right to take advantage of her. He cared for her to much to risk losing her from his life, even if it meant on bitter terms.
"come on Reid you want this as much as I do" she stated pulling on his belt pressing his groin against hers. "I want you again" she moved out of his hands and kissed his neck nibbling on the flesh as she made her way up to his jaw, "I am the only one who you can possibly use so openly with" she undid his belt and started to pull down his zip when she felt his hands on hers pulling them away from their grip and shoving her forcefully against the wall. "you want to try it again, I know you do"
"Izzy stop" Reid took a deep breath and step away from her. He couldn't take what she was doing to him, as much as he wanted to take her right there he knew he had made the right decision. "Izzy please this isn't a good idea"
"right, cos you have already had me yeah? Why would you want to do me again?" she shock her head in embarrassment, she was stupid to believe his lies. He wasn't going to be there for her. It was all a front. Wasn't a notch? Fucking really! She screamed in her head as she shoved his hands away from hers and ran her fingers threw her hair, suddenly feeling the heat her body was fuelling.
"don't you dare, don't you fucking dare Izzy" Reid had fought hard against his own wants to do the right thing, he had never done it before and he damn well needed a better thankyou then what he was getting. "I think just now proves how much I want you" he stated matter-of-factly as he too brushed his hand threw his hair, this wasn't suppose to be going like this. She was right now supposed to be thanking him whole heartily for stopping her from making a mistake.
"then why the hell did you stop?!" she growl back pushing him away so she could get past, spinning around on her heals, making him the cornered animal. Didn't he get it? The whole point of her wanting him on top of her was to keep her mind from thinking of anything else. Her grandfather had just bloody died, she wanted Reid to keep her busy, she wanted him to keep her mind of the dead body now lying in her granddads room. She needed him to make her believe that she wasn't alone.
"because your hurting Beth. And what ever we do right now you are going to regret, and I cant take the thought of you regretting us" there he fucking said it. He really didn't mean to shout at her, and the look on her face she wasn't expecting it either. It was just.., it was just the feelings he was constantly having for her latterly was so strange it scared the hell out of him to admit them.
"you have to be kidding me" Izzy threw her hands up in the air with annoyance, "there is no 'us' Reid. You don't do 'us' remember?"
"well I want there to be an us with you Izzy" how fucking dare you act like you know what I want he screamed into his head as he moved away from the wall and towards her. It was true he was a bit of a player, he himself would once of happily admit to it with a quick wink but that wasn't him anymore, ever since he got with Izzy something had changed. He wanted what Chase and Pogue had, he wanted the girl in front of him to constantly be his for the whole damn world to see.
"there is never going to be an us Reid" she bit her bottom lip angrily as she ignored the unfamiliar pang that flew threw her chest, Going as soon as it had hit her. "I needed you to fuck me Garwin, and you couldn't even bloody do that" she sighed, looking over at his sad face and felt the insanity of the whole situation boil inside her, "don't you dare look at me like that"
"im sorry Izzy but im not going to sleep with you just because you need to keep your mind of something" he knew he really shouldn't be screaming at her right now, he knew he should have just stood there and took all her anger in with a stride, but the small fear he was having of the thought he could be losing her, wouldn't let him back down.
"oh and when you pick up a slag its not for the same thing?" this wreck of a situation sum up her whole life, the one time she needed the school whore to be just that he turned into a wimp.
"oh my god. There a little bit different Iz" he threw up his hands in frustration as he looked away from her. This really wasn't going at all to plan.
"yes they are Reid. The week after your father died you bedded nearly everyone you could get your hands on." She let out a small menacing laugh when she saw his face suddenly change and she knew she had hit him hard, "don't You dare try and come off like your some kind of……gentleman. Its far to late," she screamed at him, all she wanted to do right now was hit him until the anger she was feeling was gone "there is no one here that is going to applaud you for your sudden change of heart" she bit her lower lip hard, stopping herself from adding anything, she really needed to get out of here before she did something really stupid, well something else really stupid.
"you really don't want to go there Izzy" he felt his eyes turn black as he moved towards her. Not even his brothers brought up his father if they could help it so he wasn't going to let this girl scream it up just because she was upset. "calm the fuck down or ill make you!" he growled as he grabbed her arms tightly forgetting how much power he had when he was using.
"get your fucking hands off me" she growled back ripping out of his death grip with a small whimper, she felt a small tear escape down her face as the feeling of bruises already appearing on her arms. "so much for being there for me" she spat at him shaking her head in discuss as she moved further away from him and onto the walkway, decision already made on where she was headed to.
"where the hell are you going now?" he screamed at her, trying hard to grab on to her wrist but she jerked it away. Letting his eyes turn black to blue he watched her slowly walked away from their hiding place around the corner of the old building, "your not going to jack!" he hissed it, the realisation that he wasn't her only chose hit him.
"no," she smiled at him as she spun back round tilting her head slightly to the side. "maybe ill go give one of your brothers a visit instead"
"Tyler is going to sleep with you" he laugh it, if she really thought Tyler was going to do something as low as that she was kidding herself, fighting hard against the jealousy that was purring threw him.
"you're the only one who knows what has just happened" she had waited till she was back on the leaving path and half way down it before she shouted it back. Yeah she was scared to death whenever he visited her, but right now she needed something and the fact he wanted to sleep with her for a ere of his own was only a minor obstacle.
"hell no" he had heard the one thing he had never imagine coming from her mouth. He tried to move after her but felt his legs not respond but instead buckle beneath him. What the hell had he just done? He watched her walk further away from him, she wouldn't possible do it, would she? He asked himself worriedly wishing he had just kept his mouth shut and done what they both just wanted.