DISCLAIMER: I own neither Peacemaker Kurogane, nor Gintama, nor Rurouni Kenshin, nor Kaze Hikaru nor the NHK live drama Shinsengumi! Man, that was a depressing disclaimer to write.
WARNINGS: Don't think of any . . .
SPOILERS: Just who people are!
A/N: Just something silly that came about when someone mentioned that no matter the series, Hijikata is always so . . .Hijikata. So I started thinking about the different Shinsengumi series and picked a few of the more famous for an experiment in comparative lit (haha). I took a number of liberties about who becomes who in the different series, but I tried to mostly make sense. . . .
4 Nights of Dreams
I.
Hijikata dreams he's the ruthless vice commander of an elite law enforcement operation and is strangely obsessed with mayonnaise and Souji is trying to kill him with a rocket launcher. He wakes up in a sweat (partly because of the rocket launcher but mainly because of the mayo) and looks at Souji sleeping peacefully next to him. There is a small smile curling around the edges of his mouth, as if he's dreaming something pleasant, and Hijikata certainly hopes it's not about blowing him up.
Souji dreams he's a master swordsman captain of an elite law enforcement operation but has short hair and likes to try to kill Hijikata. He smiles a bit at the silliness of it, but then he realizes he doesn't have a cough and the smile turns wistful. He's back to amused, however, the next morning when Hijikata keeps shooting him suspicious looks, as if he had had the same dream.
Kondou dreams he's the commander of an elite law enforcement operation and laughs a lot and tends to get the living daylights smacked out of him by a rather pretty girl. He forsees the day, however, when the girl will stop knocking him unconscious and start smiling at him, and he whistles cheerfully at breakfast the next morning.
Saitou dreams that he has a name and a face but nobody can put the two together. He wonders briefly if there's a zen lesson in that.
Tetsunosuke dreams he's an OC who tends to annoy Hijikata a lot and doesn't use a real sword, although he does get a scooter. He can't figure out if that's cool or not.
Saizo dreams he is a huge monster dog who chews on peoples' heads. He squeals happily in his sleep.
Tatsunsouke dreams he's a rather pretty girl being stalked by Kondo-san. He wakes up apologizing in his sleep for smacking the stuffing out of the commander.
Yamazaki dreams he really really really likes badminton. He has no idea why.
Harada dreams he's an incredibly strong, incredibly crude . . little girl. He's only upset about the girl part. Shinpachi dreams he's a mild-mannered, responsible kid with glasses who spends most of his time trying to take care of Sano and Tetsu. Heisuke wakes up whimpering because he dreams he doesn't exist.
Katsura would have dreamed he is a long-haired, extremely serious terrorist with a hideously strange pet and an ambiguously romantic relationship with a curly-haired guy . . but he's too busy meeting in secret at midnight to sleep.
Sakamoto dreams he is a scruffy, charming, kind of crazy foreign-haired visionary with shades intent on sailing . . . in the sky. "All right!" he murmurs in Engrish and turns over to sleep some more.
II.
Hijikata dreams he has short hair, a trenchcoat, angst like you've never seen it, and a kunoichi who follows him around all the time. Of course the angst is all wrong, but he has to concede the trenchcoat is cool. And at least this time Souji wasn't trying to kill him.
Souji dreams he is an incredibly skilled swordsman who looks about twelve and has serious issues. He's glad this time he isn't trying to kill Hijikata, but realizes that it's only because Hijikata got beaten before he made it to him. If Souji ever talks about this dream, he'll leave that part out.
Kondou dreams he doesn't exist. But that's boring, so then he decides to dream he's a dashing, hugely muscled arrogant so and so with a cape. He grins happily in his sleep.
Saitou dreams he's sarcastic, ruthless and smokes. He frowns and wonders if he got Hijikata's dream by mistake.
Tetsunosuke dreams he's a young, brash OC learning how to fight. He still doesn't have a sword. Dammit!
Tatsunosuke dreams he's a woman – again! – looking out for Tetsu by mostly hitting him. No doubt there is something repressed in him that makes him violent. And female. He doesn't want to know what it is.
Saizo dreams he's a highly skilled evil mastermind bent on taking over the world! He chuckles happily in his sleep.
Yamazaki dreams he's an staggeringly genki female kunoichi following Hijikata around with a crush on him size of Mt. Fuji. Luckily shinobi are mere shadows with no use for human emotions, or Yamazaki would definitely have an emotion about that.
Harada dreams he's a major character and may be brash and kind of stupid but, uh, he's a major character! Shinpachi dreams he's a well muscled monk who fights with Sano. Heisuke wakes up crying because he still doesn't exist.
Katsura dreams he's only a memory and Sakamoto dreams he's not even that. "No way man!" he murmurs in Engrish and turns over to get some more sleep.
III.
Hijikata dreams he's the ruthless vice commander of an elite law protection force and acts grumpy all day and occasionally smacks Souji around. And once kissed Itou. He wakes up cursing and is grumpy all day. But he doesn't smack Souji and he certainly doesn't kiss Itou.
Souji dreams he's the brilliant swordsman of an elite law protection force and he's just happy that for once he has long hair again.
Kondo dreams he's pretty much himself. But because he likes himself, he smiles and whistles happily all the next morning.
Tetsunosuke dreams he's an OC who is a girl impersonating a boy. And is in love with Okita. His scream of shock echoes through the night.
Saitou dreams he's a quiet, rarely flustered premier swordsman. In love with Tetsunosuke. He's beginning to wonder about these dreams.
Yamazaki dreams he's a rather dashing young man who laughs, jokes, plays around and frankly seems to be having a lot more fun being undercover than he ever has. Yamazaki decides to think hard about that.
Tatsunosuke dreams he's the deceased older brother of Tetsunosuke. He breathes a sigh of relief. He may be dead, but at least he's not a girl this time!
Harada dreams he's a crude, strong fighter. Shinpachi dreams he hangs around with Harada. Heisuke cries for joy when he dreams that he actually exists!
Katsura dreams he's a serious but debonair terro—er, plotter. He's just happy he doesn't have a hideous pet anymore.
Sakamoto dreams he's a scruffy, charming, kind of crazy foreign-haired dreamer (no shades). "Okay man," he murmurs happily and turns over to get some more sleep.
IV.
Hijikata dreams he's really a famous celebrity swamped by hordes of frothing female teenagers. Finally, a dream he likes!
Okita dreams he's really a young man involved in a Battle Royale. Or possibly some kind of Death Note. He misses Hijikata.
Kondou dreams he's really a singer whose songs bring glee to many young people. Buoyed by this (false) assumption, he warbles all morning until the squad members beg him stop.
Tetsunosuke dreams he's an OC who is a young woman dressed up as a man. And in love with Okita. He whimpers and tries to avoid Souji the next day.
Yamazaki dreams he's a nondescript middle-aged man. He is secretly relieved when he sees his hot young stud hair the next morning. Also, he's beginning to wonder if other spies don't dress up as woman as often as he thought.
Saitou dreams he's a dashing young heartthrob. Deep in his inner heart where no one else can see, he smiles.
Tatsunosuke dreams he doesn't exist. He's incredibly relieved.
Harada dreams he's mostly insane, Shinpachi dreams he's TALL and Heisuke dreams he's sort of a geek. They're all okay with this.
Katsura dreams he's a serious-minded rebel. Actually, he thinks he looks better with the long hair.
Sakamoto dreams he's a scruffy, charming, kind of crazy foreign-haired dreamer. Again. He grins and flashes a peace sign, then turns over to get some more sleep.
A/N: Did I get it all wrong? Couldn't think of spots for Saizo in some of them ::cries::