Mommy Dearest

aka

Behind Closed Doors

Summary: I can't believe that she can bear to do this to me, every single day. No relief comes, but I can't bring myself to end it. I need help.

Elaboration: Edward and Alice are brother and sister. Edward is the child that everyone loves to hate, and his sister is the only one that he will let himself trust. Bella and Emmett Swan, and Jasper and Rosalie Hale are the only friends he has, and the only reason he keeps on living. Classic abuse story and not much fluff. All human. Major Out Of Character Moments.

Quote that I just had to put in; it was so fitting: When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness; that is a friend who cares.

Chapter Six

Why do people tell lies? This is a question I have asked myself – and others – countless times. I admit, everybody lies, it's simply a natural thing to do, however sinful. Lying covers up mistakes, brings about temporary happiness, and sometimes helps to settle an argument.

But it will always come back to bite you in the ass.

If no one else discovers your lie, then the guilt will most likely eat you alive. Of course, I am talking about the little white lies – those I condone, having told plenty myself – but the large ones. Pleading 'Not Guilty' in a trial; blaming someone else for a wrongdoing…things like that. I have told several great lies, but most of them have been lies of omission, and it is these kinds of lies that I would like to focus on.

Because lies of omission are the easiest to catch someone speaking. Finding out just one little piece of extra information can build someone's carefully constructed deception falling around their ears. And it can hurt those around them just as much.

-m-o-m-m-y—d-e-a-r-e-s-t-

My phone went off at three in the morning. I hate it when people call at these times, for obvious reasons, but I think that it's worse when it's from a different time zone, because that means that they're awake and up at a decent hour while I'm dead to the world. I don't mind as much if the call is coming from the same hour as me, because it means that the caller is up as well, unlucky s.o.b.

"Hello?" I asked after putting the phone on speaker; too lazy and hung-over to move more than a few inches.

"Am I speaking to Mr Edward Cullen?"

"May I ask who's calling?"

"I am Jacob Black, sir."

"What can I do for you, Mr Black?"

"Well sir, I am calling about the deceased Esme and Carlisle Cullen, and was wondering if Mr Cullen would be willing to come over to Port Angeles to help settle the matters of the will."

I shot out of bed, shocked. What?! My parents were dead? I sat at the side of the bed, staring at the phone with the voice that had brought me the news. I was numb. Some would expect me to be sad, or perhaps happy, but I felt…nothing. It scared me. I had worked so hard to overcome my detachment to others, and now it suddenly returned to me as if I had always been this way. I abruptly remembered that I was still on the phone. I quickly assured Black that I would be there quickly, and hung up. All sleepiness had fled me with the news. My parents were…dead. They were dead. I willed myself to feel anything, anything at all, but nothing sprang to mind. It was like I had been severed from my body.

Without fully realizing what I was doing, I picked up the phone again, dialing a number that I hadn't tried to reach in…far too long. She picked up on the second ring. Her 'Hello?' sounded like she had been crying for hours. She had gotten the news, then. She sounded like she was trying desperately not to cry, and failing.

"Alice." My voice, and her name, made her stop immediately. I think she was frozen, but without her expression or voice, it was hard to tell. "Alice?" I asked again. Perhaps she had hung up on me. I wouldn't be surprised.

"Edward?" It sounded like all of her breath had come out in a huge whoosh, leaving her breathless. "Edward, is that really you?"

"I take it you got the call as well, then," I said, wanting to jump straight to the point. Talking with my sister like this was suddenly unbearably painful. The last time I had talked to my sister, I had accused her of betraying me and turning out just like Esme, and now, to be drawn to her again because of my very tormentor's death…it was so surreal.

"Yes." Her voice was tearing up again, making her sound like she had a lump in her throat. "I got called a few hours ago."

"How did it happen?"

"Car crash…drunk driving."

"Who?"

"Esme. Once you were put into the care home, she got even crazier than usual. She kept going out at night, coming back trashed and half-conscious. I was worried she would drink herself to death, but the car crash beat it to the punch. I don't know where they were going, but a firefighter found them on the highway. They were apparently barely recognizable."

"Okay Alice, stop before you burst into tears again." She had become increasingly distressed throughout telling me, and I felt bad for having to bring it up. "Are you going to go to Port Angeles?"

"Yes, as soon as I can. What about you?"

"Same. I guess I'll see you there Alice."

"Yes…and there's someone I think you should meet." She wounded unsure, like the news would upset me. I was forcefully reminded of that day in the hospital, when she had looked at me like I was some caged wild animal. The memory sent a shaft of pain through me, and I hung up after saying my goodbyes, unwilling to prolong the moment any longer. I quickly grabbed my laptop and searched for flights immediately.

-m-o-m-m-y—d-e-a-r-e-s-t-

The flight was long, boring and uncomfortable. It was like God was trying to deliberately make my life miserable. Despite the fact that I was in First Class, I was still incredibly uncomfortable, but that was probably because the flight only gave me opportunity to be alone with my thoughts.

I picked up the rental with minimal problems; a silver Volvo – the same make and model as my own. Hey, old habits die hard. The only thing different was the license plate, the number of miles and the new car smell. Other than that, though, it was a perfect replica.

I sped from Seattle to Port Angeles, memories assaulting my mind as I drove past the forgotten scenery. The steadily growing amount of greenness was refreshing compared to Boston. I had very few good memories of Forks and Washington, but I couldn't help look at the place with fondness; this was my hometown, where I had been born and raised. It was home, no matter where I went to.

I pulled up outside the attorney's office and was surprised to see quite the assortment of cars; things that didn't belong to the usual clientele. There was a glossy red BMW that I recognized as Rosalie's immediately, as well as a black jaguar – I wanted to assume that that was Alice and Jasper's – and a slightly run-down looking midnight blue Chevy truck. Who did that belong to? No one I knew owned a Chevy…

I was suddenly filled with dread. What would the reunion be like? Would Jasper hate me for what I said to Alice? What would Alice think or say? She hadn't seemed that adverse to me, but that had been over the phone, what would she think of me now? I probably looked like crap – waking up at three from a late night of getting drunk didn't exactly put someone in the best of shape. The jetlag, coupled with that, was killing me. What about Rose and Emmett? Rosalie had never really liked me, but Emmett was fun to be around and I had been pretty close to him and Bella. Was Bella here? Was Emmett mad at me for leaving? I had no idea. Too many questions were buzzing around my head, stinging me like angry hornets again and again. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open into a small reception area. There were green chairs along the walls for people to sit and wait, and a piano played lightly in the background, loud enough to make itself known without imposing.

My eyes were immediately drawn to the five other occupants in the room, gathered in the corner and sitting on the green chairs there. They all looked up at me, each of their expressions mixing from sorrow to surprise at my arrival. I could understand every single hint of anger I saw at their eyes, but also the sadness. This was a sad occasion, and I couldn't bring myself to feel it.

I walked over and sat silently by Bella. I realized that she must own the Chevy. It was an improvement from her red monster that she had owned in high school. I smiled a little at the thought. That was what it had been nicknamed; the monster. That thing could have taken out a tank, and with Bella's clumsiness that was perhaps a good thing.

The other four met my gaze, and then looked down. I hadn't expected them to say anything, but the silence was making edgy. I shifted a little in my seat, looking away to survey the room. Nothing really eye-catching about it, but I suppose anything too upbeat would be a little bit out of place.

I felt a warm hand in mine, and looked up to see that Bella's hand squeeze mine gently. That little touch was enough to calm my nerves, and I smiled, easier this time.

Emmett noticed.

"Oh, so you touch people now, do you?" he snapped. I was sad that he was angry with me, but it was to be expected.

"Five years of therapy and separation do wonders for you," I muttered in reply. His face flushed angrily and the action reminded me of Charlie, when he was angry. Crap; I didn't want to make Emmett angry.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm glad that you're life is all peachy-creamy. Admit it, the only reason you're here is because of the will."

"That is exactly why I'm here." Emmett blinked, stopped in his rant by my blatant admission. "I wouldn't set foot in this place again, but to honor the dead. So here I am. Look, Emmett, I can't imagine what things were like before I left, but Bella told me that Alice was really upset. I regret what I said and did back then, I really do. I want to make it up to everyone, if they'll let me. You say my life is peachy-creamy? You have never been more wrong, my friend, because it's not true. To be honest, I think I regret running away in the first place!"

Everyone sat back, shocked. I was too. Why did I say that? Now they were going to ask me questions. I leaned my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands, controlling my raging emotions. I wasn't even sure what I was feeling; all I had was a swirling mass behind my eyes, twisting my mind in so many different directions. I stopped talking, thinking it was for the best.

Emmett opened his mouth to speak, but both Bella and Alice shot him looks. He shut up, but Alice gave me a 'this isn't over' look. I nodded, showing I understood. She relaxed, sitting back in her chair.

The man I assumed to be Jacob Black came in through the door just then – what superb timing the man had – and came over to stand in front of us. "Are we ready then?" he asked politely, his voice low and authoritative. Alice and I nodded and we stood up, following him into his office.

I shan't bore you will details; suffice it to say that Alice got the house and everything in it and a third of the money, I got the cars and another third, and the last third went to various charities. The whole process was exhausting, really. I was glad that I didn't get much in the way of physical trinkets; I didn't want any more than what was possible. The money was nice, I'll admit – I am human, after all – and so were the cars, as our family had quite a nice collection, so I was content. I would probably sell most of them anyway. When we came out of the office our friends were looking at us anxiously – well, me actually. Can't imagine why – but quickly relaxed at the slight smiles on our faces. Alice looked like she was going to tear up again, and I held her to me as she sobbed openly in the reception. Everyone gave us our privacy – going out to lunch – and Alice and I were left alone. I climbed into my Volvo, ready to get back to the airport, but she put her hand over mine as I reached for the door handle. I looked at her questioningly and she shook her head.

"I think we need to talk. I'm driving." I shrugged and handed her the keys, then got to the other side of the car and climbed in, closing the door seconds after her. The engine came to life with a purr and she slid out onto the highway slowly, carefully gathering speed as she set herself onto our destination.

The silence was tense and I longed to break it, but she wanted to talk so she could start. I looked out the window as we gradually came closer and closer to Forks…why was she taking me here?

Eventually, though, I couldn't take it any longer. "So who do you want me to meet?"

She hesitated before answering. Cutting the engine at the side of the road, she sat back with a great sigh, like the effort of telling me was too much effort. I watched her curiously. Finally she spoke;

"I don't know how much Bella told you about me and Jasper…" When I gave no reaction she continued. "Well, a few years ago we got a call from…an adoption agency. The woman there told us that they had found a biological match with a boy currently being housed in a Foster home. She said that, if we wanted, we could adopt him, because we had a genetic claim to him. I make him sound like a piece of property, don't I?" I made no comment; I was still trying for her to get to the point. "Well, we took him in – Jasper and I – and we raised him and…I think that you should at least meet him."

"But why?"

"Because he's your brother."

-m-o-m-m-y—d-e-a-r-e-s-t-

I had to admit, if I had any doubts about our genetic material, I had none now.

The boy was almost identical to me. His hair was lighter than mine and had traces of blonde in them, but we shared the same green eyes, pale skin, and general build. But what startled me most was his age. He was turning thirteen later that year.

We all sat in the old house's living room. I sat in Carlisle's black leather armchair, while Alice and the boy – I learned later that his name was Justin – sat together on the couch at an angle, Alice between me and him. I wasn't really sure how to react. By brother, did she mean half-brother? Because it would be hard to hide a child for thirteen years, yes? Besides, there was obvious bronze in his hair; Elizabeth. But she died when she gave birth to me…didn't she?

"Alice, do you mind explaining a few things to me?"

She smiled, a little wary. "You remember that business trip that Carlisle had to go on, that one Christmas?" I nodded. "Well, he was actually seeing your mother, and Justin's. When Elizabeth gave birth to you, Carlisle used his connections with Charlie to make her disappear, and she did, but he kept visiting her, and…Justin is your brother."

I couldn't believe that Carlisle was that sort of man. He hadn't seemed like the unfaithful, loose sort of guy. I was proof that he had a one-night-stand with a nurse at the hospital, but Justin was proof that this affair lasted at least nine years.

When I was nine…that's when the beatings started…had Esme known? Is that what had set her off? Did Carlisle have another child with my mother, then, when he wanted to take in another, Esme had finally snapped? I wouldn't be able to stand having two reminders of a spouse's infidelity in my house, and apparently neither could she. So she had started abusing me…and to keep my father silent? Did she threaten to expose his past? I couldn't imagine that that would have had much of an effect, but I am most definitely not my father. Did Carlisle need his reputation so much that he would be willing to let his son get tortured to near death? Every second that passed, my life became more like a soap opera.

"How long have you been caring for him?" I finally asked, aware that my silence had stretched long enough for Alice to become uncomfortable.

"About three months. I would have told you sooner, but…" I understood. She wasn't sure if I had forgiven her yet. Had I? Most likely. I saw now that, while I had called Alice the monster, claimed that she would be like Esme, I had turned out more like the monster than she. Alice had a job, she was married and she had a child, since she couldn't have one of her own due to the effects of the chemotherapy. So she had taken in her half-brother – the result of her unfaithful father and his mistress. While what was I? The alcoholic party animal that slept around and didn't connect with anyone. I had only just no begun to make things right between the only people that had stayed by my side until I had left to go to the Foster home, and now… My worst fears had been realized. Esme was gone, but her influence still lived on in me. To become one's tormentor…it was a terrible fate.

And I couldn't help but feel a small twinge of jealousy; Justin had no marks of cruelty on him, no scars that he would have to carry for the rest of his life. He lives with two very loving people, who can give him everything he needs, and are willing to do so. He had the life that I never did, yet it was because of me that he had it. I didn't know whether to be relieved at the fact that my brother could be happier than me, or envious of it.

"Alice told me about you," Justin said quietly, drawing my attention to him for the first real time. Alice surreptitiously rose and left the room. Justin slid to the nearest end of the couch, resting on the armrest, and chin on his folded arms. He tilted his head, studying me just as I was studying him. Eventually he smiled, and I was reminded painfully of Carlisle; the facial expressions were very similar. "You look like me."

"Hey, I was born first, so you look like me," I replied, gently teasing. He pouted briefly, blowing hair out of his eyes. We really did look very similar; it was a little hard to believe he was my brother and not my son or something.

"What was she like?" I asked. He knew who I was talking about.

He shrugged. "I don't remember much. She put me into foster care when I was three, but my folks were a redhead and a blonde with blue and brown eyes so it was kind of obvious I wasn't theirs." He rolled his eyes and I couldn't help but smile. "But I remember her hair. Like yours. Mine's got blonde in it, as you can see; yours in more like her color. And I remember her eyes too. She smiled a lot, and her laugh was really nice to listen to. She passed away due to being mugged by a couple guys in Port Angeles." He spoke so candidly about it; I was shocked. "But I suppose they got her before the drugs could. Dating a doctor means that you can get hooked up with the latest opiates. She was high half of her life, I bet. I'm just glad that she was clean while she had me; my life is screwed up enough, but I'm sure you know the feeling." I nodded emphatically; I knew it all too well. Is that what Esme had threatened Carlisle with? Supplying drugs? Again, the shocks just kept on coming with my family, didn't they? We could star on the Jerry Springer show.

"You don't talk much, do you?" It wasn't a question. I shrugged.

"Not unless the urge sways me. I wasn't exactly listened to very much, so eventually I learned not to talk. I have made some very good speeches of my day, though, and most of them I regret."

He nodded, green eyes continuing to study me. He was a decent kid, at least. I wondered what would happen now; would Alice continue to care for him? Was I obligated to? I couldn't handle a child. I would screw it up royally, I knew I would.

We talked about other things; school, living in New York and Boston, things like that. It was kind of refreshing, actually. To not have to worry about making a good first impression, to simply be able to be myself. Justin and I were very similar; into the same things and we had the same sort of way of thinking. Obviously he was not a raging alcoholic, and he had had a much brighter childhood than I, but I shall not linger on points like those.

When Alice returned from wherever she had been, I looked up at the clock to find that six hours had passed since she had left. Wow. Time flies.

She entered the room and stood next to Justin, taking his hand. "We're going to dinner; would you like to join us?"

I actually wanted to leave, badly, but everyone was going to be there, and if I wanted to start making amends, then it was now or never. I smiled and rose. "Sure." We all climbed into the Volvo and Alice drove to the restaurant; 'La Bella Italia'. It looked nice and I saw all of the others' cars parked outside. Entering the restaurant, we seated ourselves with the others around a large booth. Justin was sat on the very inside, then me, Alice and Jasper. Bella sat opposite me, Rose and Emmett next to her towards the end of the booth. I smiled at her and she returned it. I caught Emmett giving me a death glare and mouthed 'What?' at him. He shook his head and said nothing.

Emmett seemed to have really grown up since I last saw him. Perhaps it was the impending fatherhood which, looking at Rose's swollen belly, wasn't far away. Alice had told me that she was about five months along, but it looked more like seven or eight. But hey, don't listen to the doctor's son.

"Alright, what can I get you all?" asked the waitress. Her eyes roved over everyone at the table, but focused almost instantly on me. I looked down, pretending to be engrossed in my menu while everyone else ordered, but she continued watching me, only half-listening to them. It was beginning to make me uncomfortable. I was used to being scrutinized and ogled from afar by the more predatory females, but she…she was creepy. It freaked me out. I quickly spoke my order, and then sank back into the seat.

Emmett and Jasper both noticed my discomfort, but Emmett, being Emmett, spoke first. "Hey Eddie, what was with that? I thought you got over the whole 'closed off antisocial' thing."

"Being looked at like I'm tonight's special does not make me comfortable, Emmett," I answered through gritted teeth. He laughed at my expense.

"So? She was hot…you could have at least gotten her number."

"Rosalie, please hit him for me." My words were followed with a ringing slap on the back of Emmett's head. He cried out, rubbing the back of his head and she smirked. "Thanks."

"My pleasure."

"I'm going to get drinks," Jasper announced, getting up from the booth. "What are you guys drinking?"

"Get me an arrowhead," Emmett said. Sissy beer.

"Water," Rosalie said, Bella and Alice ordered the same thing. Justin ordered a coke. It was my turn.

"Anything for you, Edward?"

I desperately needed alcohol. "Um…a whiskey sour." Jasper frowned and looked at Alice. She watched me for a few moments – in which I refused to make eye contact – then nodded a little. Jasper went off to get drinks and I leaned my head back against the booth, sighing heavily. The lack of sleep was getting to me again. I should have ordered coffee. Sigh. Oh well, whiskey's just as good.

"Are you feeling alright, Edward?" Bella asked, reaching over the table to putting her hand on my side of the table, since she couldn't reach my arms. I smiled halfheartedly.

"Never better." She nodded and sat back, still looking at me with concern.

This was going to be a long night.

Author's Note: Alright, I'm starting school in a couple of days, and I'm getting ready, so updates will probably be every few days instead of every day, though I have to say I enjoyed writing a chapter every day. This has been fun, and I am going to start concentrating on Bella and Edward now. I have a couple of plans. I wasn't sure whether to make Justin old enough to be a rival to Bella, but I have other plans for him and a possible sequel because of it! Yay! So enjoy this chapter and please be nice. I have a feeling that the writing is suffering, because I was good at writing Edward in pain. You know why? Because I think the idea of Edward in pain is extremely hot. Now he's better – but still not great – and I think the story is suffering a bit. Let me know what you think though.
You know the drill! Let me know of any mistakes I've missed!
Love you all! Review!

HigherMagic x