Hey, hey, guess what? I don't suppose you're going to answer me. Ah, well. Bloody book.

Well anyway, I'M GOING TO NEW YORK TOMORROW BECAUSE ELIZA INVITED ME AND JESSI TO GO WITH HER! But you know, I am not excited at all. I go to America all the time. Except that's a lie. I am so excited; I have never even left England. Except maybe to go to Hogwarts, but, honestly, no one really knows where that is. Anyway, Eliza is going back to America to visit some of her old friends for Christmas, and she invited us to go with her. Ah, it's so exciting!

And she said we will go to this giant square where they time things and see big moving pictures on buildings. I have really no idea what she is talking about but it seems relatively interesting. Apparently the Muggles in America have large photographs displaying advertisements on their homes. It seems rather odd to me.

And apparently there is some famous ice skating rink there too. I love ice skating. When I was younger, Bill used to take me out onto the lake and teach me. Mum would have had a cow if she knew. Imagine, her son bringing his baby sister onto that freezing, slippery death trap. It was bloody brilliant.

Well now I should go and clean my ridiculously messy room. Maybe then Jessi could make her way across it without too much damage to herself.

Cleaning my room is very boring. I think I'll pass. When I try to undertake the task of cleaning my room, I basically do everything but effectively clean my room.

Which is why I am now doing laundry. Well, not right now. Right now I am writing.

Now there is something you must understand before you think, "Why is that a big deal?", and it's that I have a lot of clothing. Six brothers worth of clothing. The glory of hand-me-downs. In fact I can go for about six weeks without doing laundry. Not even kidding. And it's not like I'm wearing dirty clothing either. So I haven't done laundry in about four weeks, and I have a lot to do. This will take forever.

Jessi's here! I can tell because she is talking rather loudly, as is usual for her, to the twins. She has always been ridiculously interested in the twins. She is constantly telling me that they are going to one day take over the world, so she must suck up now. I think she talks to them because she secretly has a thing for Fred. She constantly just slips him into conversation. She will never admit it though. But I know. I always know.

Time for another one of our famous all-nighters! Guess I don't have to do laundry! Escape!

Oh, here she comes.

Jessi: Hi!

Me: Hey, you! What's new?

Jessi: Guess what?

Me: No, I don't want to.

She pouts at me.

Jessi: It's really exciting!

Me: All right, fine. What?

Jessi: I asked him out.

Me: Michael?

Jessi: Of course Michael! Who else, Fred? As if. Honestly, Ginger.

Me: Don't call me Ginger. And well, did he say yes?

Jessi: How could he not? No bloke in his right mind can resist my girlish charms.

Me: Right. So yes, then?

Jessi: Yes!

She gloats. We had a bet. She said they would be going out before the end of the summer. I said he was much too shy to ask her out, but I didn't think about her. Stupid cow. She cheated.

Jessi: So what about you? Lover Boy still there?

Me: Yes. He won't go away.

I pout.

Jessi laughs at me.

Me: Hey, don't laugh at me! You know at first it was kind of cute, having an admirer, but now the idea of having a personal stalker isn't quite so jolly.

Colin is rather enamored of me. You know, talks to me all the time, calls me all the time. Takes pictures of me all the time. That's the behavior that kinda worries me sometimes, the rest is all right. Everyone can tell he likes me, and he knows it. The thing is I guess I kind of got his hopes up at the beginning. I mean it's not extreme, but I do come off as kinda flirtatious on occasion, and I guess he thought that meant I liked him. Which I don't by the way. Never have, never will. I like somebody else. But don't tell Jessi. She would have a field day. I have become very good at appearing utterly asexual.

Anyway, back to the conversation.

Jessi: But it's so sweet!

Me: Stop trying to get us to go out. You don't understand how creepy he gets! And I don't like him!

Jessi: I know, but at some point you might. I will just keep my hopes up, that someday-

Me: Just because you know have a boyfriend it doesn't mean I'm desperate for one.

Jessi: Yeah, but that can't be fun. Boyfriends are such a good time. Ginny, you should really try them out.

Me: You make them sound like a new broom, Jess. And not everyone needs a different boy every month. Anyway, you seem excited! Your love life is amusing.

Jessi: Glad to be of amusement. I'm so excited! Woah, we are going to the Big Apple tomorrow.

Me: Yes, and maybe on our way you can meet the Big Pear that will convince you never to say the Big Apple again, but to say New York like us civilized folk.

Jessi: Oh. So is the Big Pear in America too?

Me: Of course it is. You need a geography lesson!

Jessi: Nice.

I'll stop writing now because I have big day tomorrow, in which I will be seeing several largely proportioned fruits.

Author's Note: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young writer who was desperate for some reviews. She liked the reviews because they made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. And who doesn't like that?