If you like a bit of emotional shep whumping, then this is probably the chapter for you!

Chapter 5

Cat stumbled through the city for what seemed like hours before she found herself in a part that she didn't recognise. That surprised her, because she thought she'd explored most of it by now and John had showed her his secret places. At the thought of John, tears began to flow and she was grateful that no-one else was around to see. All she needed was some time alone and she would be fine, or at least that's what she was telling herself. In truth, she didn't feel that she would ever be fine again. The ache in her chest had returned, truly a physical manifestation of her broken heart. Ahead she saw a set of stairs and, at the top, a transporter. The doors whooshed behind her, a bright light flashed, and when they were open, she was on a balcony high above the city. Oh, well, she wanted to be alone, didn't she?

The night air was cold: Atlantis nights on New Lantea could often fall below freezing and there was a frost beginning to glisten on the railings. She had dressed in John's favourite dress that evening and it hadn't occurred to her to change into something warmer. She felt the chill begin to seep through the skimpy fabric. Even so, the view here was magnificent and the glistening spires of the city began to calm her. She huddled in the corner of the balcony, trying to manufacture as much warmth as possible and, despite all the odds and probably due more to exhaustion that peace, she finally fell asleep.

As John's friends gathered around him, they could do little to comfort the broken man. None of them had seen him like this, even after Elizabeth and Carson had died, and they were so used to him supporting them that they didn't know what to do.

Rodney busied himself by staring at the screen and clicking on his laptop. He knew too that he was searching for a body, not the wonderful alive creature that was Cat. They had all come to love her over the past 6 months, both for herself and for what she had given to John. He had felt less guilty about marrying Katie, once he knew that John had found someone and had even felt a little jealous about how much John was clearly loved. He couldn't imagine what had happened between them to cause this, but knew that whatever it was it was another mountain of guilt that John Sheppard would take with him. He even wondered, looking at the broken man, whether this would be the final straw for him, piled upon all the other ways that he tortured himself daily.

'I am so stupid!' he suddenly exclaimed. This expression coming from the usually arrogant scientist was such a surprise, that even John looked up briefly. 'The sensors can't detect every part of the city. While I was running the repairs to the drainage systems, I found two small sections that had remained undetected and undiscovered.' Teyla and Ronon leapt to their feet and were standing impatiently behind him. 'Here and here,' he pointed at the screen, 'Major Lorne, please come to the control room immediately. We have and urgent search and rescue to co-ordinate. Um... Colonel Sheppard is a little indisposed right now, so you'll need to lead this one,' he continued, responding to Lorne's enquiring silence.

The control room filled with bustle and determination. Lorne sent 4 teams out to search the un-classified areas of Atlantis. He had tried not to look at his CO, unable to bear seeing him this way and knowing that John appreciated the sensitivity. They had developed a strong bond of mutual trust and Lorne truly liked and respected the man. He just hoped that they would find her alive.

All the time, John sat in a kind of daze, only half aware of what was going on. He had heard Rodney shout, but hadn't really registered what had been said. People came and went, but the only thing he was aware of was the gentle touch of Teyla's hand on his arm and the ache and nausea that wracked his body. In his head, his imagination was playing vicious tricks on him, forcing him to create scenarios of her death over and over again.

Suddenly, a message came over the PA. 'Emergency Medical Team to search grid 3. We've found her. I repeat we've found her!' John stood up rapidly and staggered over to Rodney, his legs refusing to move as quickly as he wanted.

'Is she alive? I repeat, is she alive?' he desperately asked.

'Yes, sir, but barely. She's icy cold and unconscious and her pulse is very thready. I think we only just made it in time.'

'Rodney, show me how to get there. Quickly. Ronon and Teyla with me.' Somehow the remnant of John that was a trained soldier won through and he was able to fall back on old routines. They ran silently through the city, each praying that Cat was still alive. For John, he simply repeated in his head over and over the mantra, 'please be alive, please be alive, please don't leave me, I love you.'

They nearly crashed into the medical team coming the opposite way. It was a blur of activity. Dr Keller was desperately trying to keep her patient alive. Little could be seen of Cat beneath the silver of the blanket. All John could do was ask, 'Will she be alright, Doc?' and the look he received back simply said, 'I don't know'.

Waiting was the worst. Cat had been rushed into the emergency room and John firmly told to stay outside. Ronon, Teyla and Rodney all stayed with him and Woolsey came down to lend his support. He had developed a strong respect for his second in command in the year he had been on Atlantis, a respect that he felt was gradually being reciprocated. And the practical leader in him knew that he couldn't find a man more suited to his position or more able than the Colonel, despite his somewhat dubious reputation back on Earth. Finally, Jennifer swung through the doors and, taking off her mask met John's eyes with a smile.

'I think she's going to be alright. She is suffering from hypothermia and her heart rhythm had become quite irregular, but we have her stabilised. What an earth was she doing out there? She was very lucky that the night wasn't as cold as it sometimes can be here.' She didn't miss the pained look in John's eyes that quickly came and went and wondered what had happened between them. Still, that was not her business. 'You can go and see her now if you want. She is sedated and asleep, so don't expect any conversation yet. It will probably be several hours before she wakes up.'

With a quick hug from Teyla, and a hand shake from Rodney and Ronon, John passed them a look of thanks before he turned and entered ICU.

TBC

Reviews always welcome. Nearly over for poor John!