Chapter Nineteen
We stopped just inside the door. Everyone besides Carlisle, and of course Jacob, were sitting on the couch.
"Did you have a nice run?" Esme asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes," Edward answered. I gazed at each of the faces in the room, they all seemed relaxed.
"He's alright Bella," Jasper spoke, sending me a wave of calm.
"Thanks," I sighed, welcoming his wave of relief.
"Can I go see him?" I asked.
"Yes," I heard Carlisle call from the guest bedroom. Edward still holding my hand, we walked to the room. The door was open and I first caught site of Carlisle standing over Jacob.
"How is he?" I asked as Edward and I entered the room.
"He's pretty beat up, but I do believe he will make a full recovery. It's miraculous, by witnessing the injury I surely thought he would be paralyzed, or worse, dead," Carlisle answered.
"Why is he being so quiet?" I asked looking at Jake's still form.
"Morphine," Carlisle replied simply.
"Oh," I sighed.
"Bella and I will go wait with the others," Edward said as I looked over at Jacob's seemingly sleeping form.
"Yes, I'll inform you if anything changes," Carlisle replied.
"Come on love," Edward said as he gently tugged my hand towards the door. I nodded and followed him back into the living room. I hated seeing Jacob that way, hurt because of me. He didn't deserve it.
As we took a seat on the couch, I noticed everyone's sympathetic gazes. Surprisingly, even Rosalie seemed somewhat concerned.
"Bella, sweetie, are you alright?" Esme asked.
"Yes," I replied, trying to smile.
"He will be ok Bella," Edward said, trying to lighten my mood.
"I know, I just feel terrible that he got hurt,"
"You can't blame yourself," Jasper spoke.
"I'm always attracting danger," I sighed
"Bella, the Volturri were going to come regardless of Jake's presence or not. It was just bad timing," Alice said. I looked over at her, and nodded. I still felt that it was my entire fault that Jake was in his current position.
The room settled into a thick silence. No one had anything else to say. Every so often Edward would squeeze my hand reassuringly and I would return the sentiment. I listened carefully the entire time for any indication that something was going wrong. All that I heard was Carlisle shuffling about and a low moan every once in a while.
Time seemed to stop; everything was going in slow motion. Every minute seemed like hours as I waited for Jacob to regain consciousness. Remembering my promise to Heather, I thought I should call and give her some sort of update.
"Edward," I said, breaking the silence.
"Yes?"
"Can I see your phone?"
"Of course," he said handing it to me.
"Um, could you dial the number again?" I asked handing it back to him. He nodded and dialed the number quickly, handing the phone back to me. Two rings and I heard the phone pick up.
"Hello," Billy's gruff voice answered.
"Billy, is Heather there?" I asked.
"Yes, Bella?" he questioned.
"Yeah, it's me,"
"How's Jake?"
"He's ok, he's unconscious from morphine," I explained. I heard him grunt, and then I heard him shuffling around in his chair. It was apparent that he didn't really want to talk to me. In a way, I suppose he felt I had betrayed him becoming a vampire.
"Hello," Heather's voice broke my thoughts.
"Heather, it's Bella again," I replied.
"Oh, Bella, how's Jacob?" she asked.
"He's ok, unconscious from morphine, but ok," I replied.
"Good, I can't stop worrying about him. I haven't slept a wink," she sighed sounding tired.
"You should rest. Jacob will be ok and home before you know it," I told her, hoping myself that it was so.
"I guess you're right. I'll go lay down. Call me if anything comes up, please?" she asked.
"Of course,"
"Goodbye Bella, and thanks for the update,"
"Goodbye," I replied as I hung up. I handed the phone back to Edward. I didn't need to relay what had been said. I knew they all had heard my conversation.
Leaning my head against Edward, I closed my eyes and hoped things would turn out ok. Though sleep couldn't come to me, I found some rest in closing my eyes. It was as if I was retreating into my own little world, even if I could sense the presence of everyone in the room, and Edward who was beside me.
I heard some quick footsteps and my eyes flew open. I noticed everyone was still in their same places.
"What's going on?" I asked Edward.
"Jacob's coming to; Carlisle is going to give him some more morphine for pain,"
"Can we see him?"
"Yes," he said. We stood and walked back to the guest room. I could see Jacob staring up at the ceiling, a crease in his brow, undoubtedly from the pain.
"Jake," I sighed as we came to a stop just inside the door.
"Bells," he said lowly. He sounded tired, almost defeated.
"How are you?" I asked.
"Oh you know, peachy," he chuckled lowly. Laughing seemed to cause him pain because he instantly groaned and clutched his sides.
"Bruised ribs," Carlisle explained.
"I called Heather," I told him.
"Thanks,"
"She's nice," I said. He nodded weakly and swallowed hard.
"Let's let him rest," Edward whispered to me.
"I'll be back Jake," I told him as we left the room.
We returned to the living room once again. This time, it was the only the two of us. The others were in various other parts of the house. But I liked it better this way.
Edward and I remained there the entire day and night. I couldn't imagine being any where else while Jacob was in the state he was. I did now feel confident that he would be ok. I just didn't want to be too far away for fear that something would happen. Carlisle kept us updated via Edward's mind reading abilities. Jacob was too tired for company, needing to rest as much as possible. I understood, but I wanted to be by his side.
Another day passed this way, with us eagerly waiting for his recovery. I had started pacing out of boredom and was about to sit down when Carlisle appeared in the living room.
"You can come see him," he told us. Edward stood from the couch and we walked back to Jacob's room. He was sitting up and was looking much better than when I last caught sight of him.
"Hey," he greeted us, enthusiasm in his voice.
"How do you feel?" I asked as I stopped a foot away from his bed.
"Better," he replied simply.
"You look a lot better," I commented. His expression was at ease and his overall demeanor showcased that he was indeed feeling better.
"I won't bite you know," he laughed referring to the distance between us. I took a few steps forward, now at the edge of his bed.
"Sorry," I giggled.
"It's alright,"
"I think you should probably call Heather now," I told him, looking over at Edward who retrieved the cell phone from his pocket. I had promised the moment he was able to talk I would make sure he called. It was a promise I could not and would not break.
"You're right," Jacob agreed taking the phone that Edward extended to him.
"Thanks,"
"No problem," Edward shrugged as we stood back to give him some privacy. Jacob dialed the number and held the phone up to his ear.
"Hello," he greeted nonchalantly.
"Woah! Calm down," he laughed.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he responded. I looked up at Edward, his face mirroring my amusement. Heather and Jacob had something similar to us.
"I don't know, Dr. F-, I mean Dr. Cullen says I should be able to leave tomorrow evening if the healing continues like it is,"
"I know, I miss you too,"
"No, I will I promise. Yes, she is," he agreed.
"Alright, love you too, bye," he said as he hung up. He looked over at us, holding out the cell phone for us to retrieve.
"Everything ok?" I asked.
"Yeah, she's fine. She was just worried bout me. She told me to tell you thanks," he relayed.
"She's great Jacob," I voiced as I took the phone from him.
"She is," he agreed and then he started to chuckle.
"What is it?" I asked.
"She said the same about you," he replied.
"Oh," I sighed.
"Jacob, I believe you should get some more rest, tomorrow is going to be stressful," Carlisle spoke up.
"Sure, sure," he muttered.
"Jacob," Edward finally spoke nodding at him. Jacob nodded back, word's not needed between the two of them. It was clear they had broken through a lot of the problems that they had with each other.
Edward and I took our leave as Carlisle approached Jacob with a syringe.
"Not more morphine, I hope," I heard Jacob sigh.
"No, just a sedative to help you get some rest," Carlisle replied.
"Good, I don't think I could handle any more of that stuff," Jake chuckled.
I smiled as we walked past the living room and to our room. Having witnessed him in such a state, I felt comfortable going upstairs. We quickly climbed the stairs and retreated to the haven that was our bedroom.
Once inside I walked over to the bed and carefully flung myself on it. I heard Edward chuckle as he laid down beside me.
"Are you really that excited to get in bed?" he laughed.
"I'm just happy Jacob is ok," I admitted as I turned to face him.
"Me too," he sighed.
"How will he get home?" I asked.
"Emmett and I are going to drive him to the border where Sam, Embry, and Quil will meet us," he answered.
"So we can go back to Forks," I voiced, liking the thought of possibly visiting in the near future.
"So it seems," he sighed. I looked at him and could tell something was plaguing him.
"What is it?" I asked, continuing my study of his expression.
"You do realize we can't go back there to live?" he replied. His gaze met mine and I knew he thought I'd be upset by this news. I had, however, realized that moving back wasn't going to happen, not in the near future anyways.
"I know. I just thought we might go for a visit," I sighed.
"Ah, but you can't travel," he pointed out.
"After I get some control," I added.
"It would be nice," he sighed.
"We could go to our meadow," I smiled, remembering, despite the pain I encountered the last visit there, the great times we'd had.
"There's something else," Edward sighed, looking away from me momentarily.
"Yes?"
"We need to decide when we are going to die," he said lowly, almost too low for me to hear. I looked at him puzzled.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You know what I mean. Your parents will get suspicious of us never visiting and of our appearance if we did," he replied.
"Oh," I said as realization donned on me.
"I know you want to see them again," he said, I could hear the anguish in his voice. It did hurt for me to think of never seeing or communicating with my parents again, but I knew it had to be done. They couldn't get wise to us; that would mean risking their safety.
"Yes, just once more," I spoke, my voice steady despite the peril I was feeling. I knew all of this when I made my decision to become a vampire. I knew what I was losing, and what I was gaining for that matter. I looked over at Edward, and how troubled he seemed to be. I couldn't pinpoint what had brought on his sudden revelation. I knew it had to stem from some where.
"Edward,"
"Yes?"
"What brought all this on?" I asked.
"Jacob was hoping we'd move back to Forks," he answered honestly.
"Oh,"
"I'm sorry Bella," Edward replied, his words drenched in sincerity.
"Edward, I'm ok. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to this life," I reminded him.
"Really, are you ready to let them go Bella?" he asked his serious gaze locking with mine. I kept my ground, and held his gaze. Within it, I found more than just seriousness for the situation, I also saw the love and care he had for me. I knew I had made the right decision all along, not that I questioned it. I smiled and took his hand in mine.
"One visit to see both of them, that's all I want," I responded.
"And then?" he questioned looking down at our hands.
"And then we figure out how to die," I replied. It sounded odd to say so calmly. An eavesdropper might even get the idea that we were in on some mass suicide plan.
"We'll have to move again,"
"Alright," I replied, knowing all along.
"You're really ok?" he asked taking my face in his hands and studying my expression carefully.
"Edward, as long as you are here with me, I will always be ok,"
"And you have no regrets?"
"None," I answered honestly. He smirked and dropped his hands. As to be expected, he was still beating himself up.
"Edward, I love you. Don't you see," I sighed as I stood from the bed.
"I know that you love me. I love you too for that matter; I just hope you really are ok with this decision,"
"I have to be," I joked, pointing out that it was quite irreversible.
"Not funny," he sighed.
"I'm perfectly happy Edward, I have no regrets. I love you and I'm happy with my decision, despite any of the repercussions," I voiced as I started off towards the bathroom. I got to the door when I felt myself being pulled into his steel embrace. I turned around in the iron cage that was his arms and looked up at him. He was smiling brightly.
"I love you too," he said as he gently kissed my lips. I smiled against his and we edged to the bathroom, both wanting to feel the hot water beat against our frigid flesh.
Our time in the shower was just what we both needed. All the pent up stress from the last couple days seemed to rinse down the drain with the rest of the grime from our bodies. The shower proved to be refreshing in more ways than one.
Returning to our bedroom, we stretched out on our bed, hugged in each other's arms. Edward lowly hummed my lullaby as I traced patterns on his chest. Everything seemed to be alright again.
The next day started early. Jacob was anxious to get home and began expressing so at the first signs of light. Carlisle tried to get him to calm down and rest to the early evening, late afternoon, but he wasn't having it. He was ready to go; he was ready to be with Heather again.
"Bella, it was good seeing you again," he said as he stood beside the bed that he had been confined to the last couple days. It was amazing seeing him like that, able to walk of his own free will.
"I'll miss you Jake," I replied, happy once again that tears couldn't give away that deep sadness I felt at saying goodbye to my friend.
"You should come visit," he said. I was about to remind him of my blood lust when he cut back in.
"When you're feeling better," he chuckled.
"I'll see what I can do," I told him. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms carefully around him, afraid that I might cause him some pain. The smell, while very strong and foul to my nose, meant naught. Jacob was my friend and I would give him a proper goodbye.
"Take care Bella," he sighed gently hugging me back.
"Stay out of trouble," I told him as I stepped back releasing him of my embrace.
"I'll see what I can do," he laughed.
"It was nice seeing you again Jake," Carlisle said extending his hand. Jacob shook it and smiled in reply.
"You too Dr. Cullen, thanks for everything," Jacob sighed. Carlisle waved him off and exited the room.
"Ready to go?" Emmett asked as he came to the door.
"Just about," Edward answered. I looked over at him. I already missed him. He would be gone for less than a day, but any length of separation was excruciating.
"You be careful," I told him as I walked over to him. He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around me.
"I'll miss you," he whispered in my ear as he gently kissed my cheek.
"I'll miss you too,"
"I'll be waiting in the car," Emmett chuckled.
"Me too," Jacob said as he started to leave.
"Bye Jacob," I called after him.
"Bye Bella, call every once in a while," he called back.
"I love you," Edward said as he captured my gaze.
"I love you too,"
"I'll have my phone with me if you need to call," he said. I nodded and the grip he had on me loosened.
"See you later," I replied. He nodded and exited the room. I followed him to the door and watched him get into the driver's side of the Volvo. He got in; the sound of the ignition quickly followed and in a flash they were turned around and headed down our long driveway. I stood listening as the Volvo gradually went out of my hearing range. I closed the door and walked to the couch. It would be a long wait without Edward.
"Bella," Alice's excited voice called as she bounded down the stairs.
"Hey Alice," I sighed.
"Want to do something?" she asked.
"I don't know, what is it?"
"Remember that pond you and Edward went skating on?" she inquired.
"Yeah,"
"Esme and Rosalie want to go, so I was wondering if you'd be interested,"
"What about Jasper?" I asked.
"He's busy in his study," she answered.
"Sounds good to me," I replied. I was looking for a distraction anyway, so what better way to pass my time? It was surely going to be a long day without Edward around.
(A/N: So, I realize it's been a while since I last updated. My work load has been humongous! I'm trying to move into my apartment and everything is just chaotic. But anyways, I'm sure everyone is impatiently waiting for the release of Breaking Dawn! Only 5 more days! Exciting right? So, with that in mind, I will be trying to finish up this story by Thursday, so therefore you all will be getting the rough, non-edited version of my chapters. Sorry if you run across anything completely atrocious. I would like to thank my personal friend and beta Shanbug07 for lending her assistance in beta-ing this chapter. I know this is a filler, but it also conveys some of the main points that are going to finish off this story. I'm thinking five more chapters. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Please tell me what you think! How would you like to see this story end? On a side note, if you are also reading my story In the Arms of an Angel, I have put it momentarily aside to finish this story. Sorry for the inconvenience. I do, however, plan on picking it up after I finish this and of course after I read Breaking Dawn, lol!)