Casey's POV
I watched the look in his beautiful blue eyes brighten for a moment, then cloud over with worry or dread. I reached out and touched his hand. " I mean we can't keep walking on eggshells with each other. This is ridiculous. Sometimes things are going to come up that remind us of the past. It's bound to happen." I explained when he still didn't look as if he understood. " We have to stop making such a big deal out of it."
He gave me a half hearted grin and shrugged. " You're right. We're being silly. We can be friends without being awkward. We can make this work." His voice lowered. " I want to make this work. I've really missed you."
I reached out without thinking about it and brushed a strand of hair from his face. It was another familiar move that I had made so often when we were together that it was involuntary. I just did it. He looked up at me in surprise for an instant then smiled and did just what I said, pretended it was nothing.
" I really miss you, too, Cap. And with Ashleigh so busy lately, I just feel so all alone."
He took my hand and held it in his, swallowing it in its massive warmth and sending a shiver all the way through me. " You aren't alone. You'll never be alone as long as I'm around." His eyes were so serious and his tone so sincere that I almost squirmed in discomfort, but he noticed and dropped my hand and leaned back, putting some space between us." Besides, you've got Rusty and Max, too. And Ashleigh is still there. She's just preoccupied right now. She didn't abandon you."
" I know." I nodded. " I keep telling myself that anyway. I just can't make myself listen very well. Its like I lost the election and my best friend at the same time."
" I will happily stand in the best friend mode until she has a chance to take the title back." He told me. Then he paused, as if thinking about something. " Although, I'm not sure how good of a shopping buddy I'll be."
I laughed and held out my hand to stop him. " Oh, no. I'm afraid I will just have to find a female friend for that. I can't imagine trying to take you to the mall."
"No, malls aren't really my thing." He answered. " But maybe it's more Rusty's style."
" Again, no." I laughed again.
" How about Max ? I bet he's a regular Fashionista."
" The fact that you know the word Fashionista makes you far more qualified than either Rusty or Max." I informed him.
He laughed and I let myself drown in the sound. Laughter had been hard to come by for me lately. I couldn't get enough of hearing it now. And when Cappie laughed, really laughed, he gave himself over to it fully, as if it filled him completely up with amusement and bubbled out of his mouth.
One of the things I had always loved about Cappie was how free he was. Everything he did was done with such an easy freedom that it inspired me to want to do the same. I realized I hadn't been enjoying life very much of late and it was high time I started. I was too young to be so serious all the time.
Somehow, over the years with Evan and now even with Max, I'd forgotten how much fun I used to be. When I first came to school, I laughed just like Cappie. I let myself swim in it. Laughter was one of the most frequent and important things in my life. That changed when I left him.
I hadn't really ever thought about it in those terms, but it was true. I hadn't really laughed, the kind of hard, long laugh that I used to do, since the night of the Greek Ball two years earlier.
" Is there a big, terrible creature intent on eating us both standing over my shoulder ?" He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. " Should I be worried ? Seriously, I'm really afraid to look now."
I laughed this time as I finally understood what he was saying, apparently I had become so lost in thought that I was just staring off into the distance over my his left shoulder, looking at nothing in particular. " Yes," I answered as the laughter died away. " Freddy is right behind you. Be afraid, be very afraid."
" I'm guessing you don't feel like sharing those deep thoughts I just say swirling there in your head." He said, after flinging a pillow at me and inspiring another bout of laughter.
I shook my head. " It was just some random thoughts." I lied. I wasn't sure what the thoughts meant yet, so there was no way I was willing to share.
" Are you ready to go home ? I can walk you. It's getting kind of late."
Sighing inwardly at the sweetness of his concern, I shook my head again. " Actually I was kind of wondering if maybe we could watch a movie or something. I'm not really tired and its Friday night. I'm not ready to go home yet." Something passed over his face that I wasn't sure of, so I back peddled as fast as I could. " Unless you're ready for me to leave. I completely understand if you want some time to go be you or whatever. I've occupied you almost every night this week."
He laughed again. " You've occupied me every night this week and I don't mind at all. There is nowhere that I would rather be and no one I would rather be with. My question is..." He paused for dramatic effect, it think. " Why don't you want to go home ? Are you avoiding Ashleigh ?"
I looked away and blinked quickly though I could already feel the tears stinging my eyes.
" Case, is everything alright with you and Ashleigh ?" He repeated and I saw that he was not going to let me avoid answering him.
" We had a stupid little fight yesterday. It was nothing and I'm sure it'll blow over. I'm just trying to give her some space." I said, still refusing to look at him.
He moved closer to me, letting his body brush against mine as he pulled me into his arms. Then the tears were there and I couldn't stop them.
" What happened ?" He asked after a moment.
" I was just trying to help her. She was having a problem with one of the pledges and I was trying to help. But she snapped at me and said she was the president and she would handle it on her own. " I knew most of my words were muffled in his shirt and when I tried to lean away so he could understand what I was saying, he just pulled me closer. " So, I'm giving her some room. I know she didn't mean to snap at me. She's just tired. She's not getting much sleep with class and working and the presidency."
He was smoothing my hair. I hadn't realized how much Ashleigh's harsh words had really hurt until I had to say it all out loud.
After a few minutes, he pulled back and looked down into my face. " What movie ?" He asked.
" The Wizard of Oz ?" I answered as I stifled a few remaining sniffles.
He shook his head. " No way. You aren't upset enough for me to endure that."
I batted his shoulder. " What if I tell you about how my mother always makes me feel like I'm not as good as Rusty at anything ?" I asked, with a bat of my eyelashes and a hint of a smile.
" Nope, still not good enough." He remained stubborn.
" Why do you own it if you hate it that much ?"
" I don't hate the Wizard of Oz. God, what kind of monster do you take me for ? It's just a reserve for really special occasions." He explained.
" So, someone has to die before you'll watch it ?" I laughed.
" Something like that. " He answered with a laugh of his own.
" I could run Evan down with my car." I offered.
" Now, see that would be more an occasion for something really monumental like Rocky." He told me.
" Rocky is your happy movie ?" I questioned.
He looked at me very seriously. " Rocky is every guy's happy movie. Its like Gone with the wind for us. Any guy that tells you differently is either lying or gay."
" Max's happy movie is Real Genius." I commented.
" Or a super, super geek." He amended.
I hit him again and he pretended it hurt. " Okay, what's a good fight-with-your-best-friend movie ?"
He thought for a long time. " Beaches. Beaches will make you want to call Frannie up and tell her how much you love her."
" Well, then, how about not ?" I smiled. " Let's not take the chance."
" I have a brand new box set of movies that your brother just got for me."
" Rusty just bought you a set of movies ? Did I miss your birthday or something ?"
" No," he nodded. " It's bribe a brother for favors month."
He said this so matter-of-factly, so deadpan that I had to laugh again. " Bribe a brother for favors month ?"
"The pledges are about to become actives. So we here at Kappa Tau, always take this month to let the pledges show us how much becoming an active means to them, by letting them ravish us with expensive gifts in order to gain our favor." He explained, still so serious it was hilarious.
" Okay then, what movies did he bribe you with ?"
" The entire three movie Indiana Jones collection." He answered.
" Oh, really ?" I asked, suddenly very interested.
" Yes, Ma'am and I would be honored to watch them first with you."
" It's a deal. Bring on the adventure and popcorn." I enthused.
" You're wish is my command." He smiled with a silly little bow before heading downstairs to retrieve the ingredients for the night's festivities.
The light gray shadow of dawn was slowly emerging from the sky when I began to regain consciousness. I was startled for find myself in unfamiliar territory. I didn't remember falling asleep, but obviously I had and now I had no idea where I was.
All I did know was there was a very warm, very comfortable body draped around me and I hadn't felt so content or peaceful in a very, very long time.
I snuggled deeper into the chest at my back and let myself begin to drift off again. My mind slowly began to lull back into its sleeping mode as I imagined Max curled behind me with his head buried in my hair, breathing in deeply as if he were trying to drown in its smell.
My eyes flew opened when I remembered that Max and I weren't really to that stage yet. We had never spent the night together. We'd never been that far. Besides, Max wasn't the one that had a thing for my hair. That was...
I jerked around and found myself face to face with Cappie.
Shit ! What the hell had I done ?
I started to ease myself out of his arms as my groggy mind tried to bring together the pieces of the night before. I remembered watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. I remembered The Temple of Doom. But I could only recall the first few minutes of The Last Crusade. I must have fallen asleep right after it started.
I glanced down and breathed a sigh of relief when I found I was still clothed. Okay, so I just fell asleep watching a movie with my friend. That was all there was to it. I hadn't done anything wrong.
The only thing that was wrong was how badly I wanted to turn back over and bury myself in my friend's chest once again. Now, that was probably wrong. An accident was one thing, but to purposely spoon with my friend was probably not right.
I tried once again to free myself from his arms without waking him. I really tried. He looked so tired and so peaceful laying there with his arms around me holding me so protectively and so tight that I was not going to wake him.
If I couldn't get free without doing that, then it wasn't my fault. I was trapped, right ?
Well, that's exactly how I convinced myself to turn back over as easily as I could so as not to disturb him. Then I brought his arm even tighter around me and closed my eyes.
It wasn't long before I was back asleep again. I would worry about my conscious later.