Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Soul Calibur. Namco does! And I don't own Jem either.
"OK, Tira. We're having dinner with the neighbors. So that means we have to try to be as normal as we can!"
"But Nighty! We're not exactly "normal"."
"What do you mean by that?"
"For starters, you have a deformed arm-claw thing. The only wardrobe you have is that azure armor. And you have freaky glowing red eyes!"
"Well, your not that normal either! You have sudden mood swings. Your hair went from green to brown. And you have purple eyes! Is that even normal?!"
"...I don't know. Blame the creators!"
Tira and Nightmare stepped out of the tent and walked over to Kilik and Xianghua's little camp area. Despite how much the two already dislike the happy couple, they were hungry and didn't feel like cooking the food they brought with them.
"But Nighty..." Tira whispered as they were almost at their neighbors sight. "We don't even like them!"
"Well then, we'll just pretend we like them!" He whispered back. As he was talking, he pulled a tin container covered with tinfoil out of his armor.
"What is that?"
"Oh this? It's a special food I made!"
"Oh no...don't you remember what happened to your guests last time you cooked?"
"Um...Refresh me."
Tira sighed and began telling the story.
It was a cold winter day about two years ago. Nightmare, wearing his SC II 1P outfit with an apron around his waist, was working very hard in the kitchen. He was stirring something in a pot that was on the stove. Tira, in her SC III 1P outfit, walks in and sniffs the air.
"Mmmm...That smells good!" She said as she walk over to Nightmare. "What cha cooking?"
Nightmare continued stirring the food. "Oh, nothing."
Tira tried to get a taste of the food but Nightmare slapped her hand with the spoon he was using.
"Ouch!" Tira yelped as she placed her one hand over the one Nightmare hit. "Why can't I have a taste?"
"Because we're having company coming over," Nightmare said as we went back to stirring. "And I want this to be perfect!"
The doorbell rang and there was a knock on the door.
"There here!" Nightmare said happily. "Tira! Be a dear and get the door!"
"...Fine," She said before leaving the kitchen.
Tira looked out the window to see who was there. One person was a man with purpleish skin and wore a crazy pirate outfit. The other person was a woman who had silver hair and wore some bondage gear that exposed a large portion of her breats.
"Great...It's Cervantes and Ivy..." Tira muttered before going to the door and opening it.
"Finally you opened the door," Ivy said. "I was getting cold..."
"I wonder why..." Tra replied quietly.
"Hello Tira!" Cervantes said cheerfully to the teal hair girl. "Is Nightmare here? He invited me and my lovely daughter over for dinner."
"I'm in the kitchen!" Nightmare yelled. Soon enough, he ran out of the kitchen, with is apron still on, and stood next to Tira. "Hello Cervantes! And Ivy...you look very beautiful today."
"I didn't even want to come but dad dragged me along with..." Ivy mumbled.
The timer in the kitchen went off.
"Oh! That's the turkey!" Nightmare squealed. "Please come in and make yourselves at home. Tira will take good care of you."
Nightmare ran back to the kitchen, leaving Tira with the guests. Cervantes and Ivy walked in and Tira shut the door. They went to the living room. Ivy sat down in the comfy chair and Cervantes sat n the couch. Tira followed and sat on the love seat. The three sat in silence for a couple of minutes.
"Well," Cervantes said ruining the silence. "I'm going to see if Nightmare needs help. You two try not to kill eachother.
Cervantes left the room and headed to the kitchen. Ivy and Tira sat in the room quietly and stared at eachother.
"...So...Do you play dolls or something?" Tira asked.
"I have a "Jem" doll that I left at home." Ivy answered.
"Oh...That's cool. Do want with mine?"
"Not really..."
"Oh...OK then..." Tira said before the two sat quietly again.
Five minutes later, Nightmare burst into the room.
"OK ladies! Dinner is served." Nightmare announced.
Tira and Ivy got up and went to the dining room. As they entered the room, the aroma of the food was in the air and made everyone's mouth water. A large brown turkey was on the table. Also on the table was a container filled with mash potatoes and on the opposite end was a container filled with gravy.
"Everyone grab a plate," Nightmare said. As Tira grabbed a plate, Nightmare placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tira, you have to sit at the kiddie table."
"What?!" Tira complained. "But there is enough room at the older table!"
"But, Tira, your not eighteen yet. Now, please sit at the kiddie table." Nightmare pointed at a small table in the corner. The table was yellow and plastic. A small green chair chair, also made of plastic, was right next to it.
Tira glared at Nightmare, got her food and went to the kiddie table.
After everyone finished eating, Tira got the dishes and cleaned them. Nightmare, Cervantes, and Ivy were talking.
"You people want dessert?" Nightmare asked.
"Sure!" Cervantes answered. "I'm still hungry."
"...I guess so," Ivy mumbled.
"Good!" Nightmare said. "I shall fetch it then."
Nightmare got up from his seat and went to the kitchen. Tira, who was still angry about not sitting at the grown-up table, continued to wash dishes. Nightmare walked up to her.
"May I help you?" Tira asked without even looking at Nightmare.
"You want dessert? It's double layered chocolate cake. I added a special ingerdient to it!"
"No thanks..."
"Why?" Nightmare said sounding kind of like an annoying little kid.
"I'm busy..."
"...Fine." Nightmare walked over to the counter and got the cake, which was in a tin container. "If you want any, it'll be out here."
"...Alright..." Tira said.
Nightmare walked out of the kitchen and back into the dining room. He set the cake down on the table.
"Crap I forgot a knife. Tira, Can you-"
Tira throws a knife that stuck into the wall behind Nightmare. Nightmare walked over to the knife and pulled it out.
"Um...thanks Tira."
"That girl of yours had some issues..." Cervantes said.
"She's just cranky!' Nightmare replied. He made cut into the cake with the knife, made two pieces and placed them one two plates. He handed one plate to Ivy and the other to Cervantes. "I hope you two enjoy it!"
Ivy and Cervantes took one small bite. After seeing that they weren't dead, they ate the rest of the cake in large bites. After finising the cake they took more and more, until it was all gone.
"Mmmm...That was some good cake!" Cervantes said as he placed a hand on his stomach.
"I hate to admit it but...it is pretty good," Ivy said.
Tira was standing in the doorway.
"Hey Nighty. What was the secret ingerdient?" Tira asked.
"Yeah, Nightmare. What is it?" Cervantes asked as well.
"You're not going to beileve it...but I used laxitives! Isn't that sweet?" Nightmare giggled.
"You WHAT?!" Ivy asked with a little bit of anger in her voice.
"You heard me! I put laxitives in the cake."
"You didn't! You-Oh crap! I need to go!" Cervantes ran upstairs to the bathroom. Ivy chased after him, needing to use the restroom as well.
Tira walked over to Nightmare.
"Smooth..." she said before walking back to the kitchen.
"But what did I do?!" Nightmare yelled.
"...And that is why the Cervantes and Ivy hate us so much." Tira concluded
"Yeah...so?" Nightmare asked.
"...Nevermind." Tira groaned. Tira looked around the campsite and there was no sign of Kilik or Xianghua. "Where are they?"
"Hello neighbors!" Xianghua said jumping out of nowhere making both Tira and Nightmare jump. Xianghua looked at what Nightmare was holding. "What do you have there?"
"I brought the green bean casserole" Nightmare said cheerfully.
Tira rolled her eyes. Kilik, wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron, walked over to his girlfriend, Tira and Nightmare.
"Hello, neighbors!" Kilik said. He looked over at Tira, who was glaring at him. "Hello Tira. Turn that frown upside down!"
"Bite me!" Tira snapped. Nightmare slapped the back of her head. "Ouch! What did I do?"
"Tira...I said you need to be nice," Nightmare said to her. He got close to her and whispered in her ear. "I promise, later you can steal some of their food."
A little misceivious smile came on Tira's face. She shook Kilik's hand.
"Hello to you too, neighbor!" Tira said in a disturbing happy manner. She squeezed Kilik's hand and made him yelp a little bit.
"H-hello, Tira!" Kilik said to the crazy girl who was shaking is hand. "Can you please stop? I feel like your trying to rip my arm off."
Tira left go of his hand and continued to smile like a demented clown. Kilik grasped his hurting hand with his other hand and smiled.
"Are guys hungry?" he asked.
"We sure are!" Tira said, still in the disturbing happy tone.
"Um...OK then," Kilik replied nervously. "Please, come this way. The food will be done in a little bit."
Kilik went over to the grill and continued cooking the food. Tira, Nightmare, and the girl with the hyperactivity disorder sat down at a picnic table that was near the tent. (A/N: If you guessed it by now, I don't really like Xianghua. For some reason I think she is really, really, really annyoing. No offense to you Xianghua fans.)
"So...how did you two meet?" Xianghua asked Nightmare and Tira, who was still doing the creepy smile.
"Well...It was along time ago," Nightmare said reminicing. "I was walking my dog one night. Suddenly, my dog stopped and I ran into it. I yelled, 'What's your problem?! Can't see I'm trying to walk you?'. Then, I heard a high pitch whining noise that sounded like crying. My dog barked and ran into a nearby ally. I fell face first and the mutt dragged me for a while. The crying got stronger as we went further into the ally. When the dog stopped running and I was able to get up, I looked into the closest trash can and I saw a beautiful baby girl. I picked her up and she stopped crying. She opened her eyes and I gazed into her violet peepers. She pulled at the horn that was on my helmet and she giggled. I laughed and tickle her tummy. She stopped laughing, glared at me and bit my finger."
"Awww...That is so sweet," Xianghua said.
"That's not the end of it," Nightmare said contiuing the story. "When I brought her home, I had to think of a name. The first name I came up with Sally. The baby glared at me. The next name I came up with was Josie. She glared at me again. The thrid name I came up with was Kitty. Well, the baby clearly didn't like that name and bit my finger, again. After I put a bandaid on, I looked at the baby one more time. 'Tira...do you like that name?'. Luckily the baby smiled and clapped her hands. 'Then I'll call you Tira!' I carried baby Tira with me to the roof and held her up in the air with my good hand. 'You hear that world?!' I yelled. 'Nightmare has a new servant! And her name is Ti-Ow!' She bit my hand and I lost my balance. Me and Tira fell off the roof. Tira landed in a very soft bush while I landed on my collection of large, pointed rocks."
"That is sooooo cute!" Xianghua said wiping a tear away from her eyes. "Excuse me, I think I'm going to cry."
While Xianghua had an emotional breakdown, Tira leaned over and whispered to Nightmare. "That didn't happen! You were looking for a roommate because your other one called you were trying ot steal his body or something."
"Shhh!" Nightmare whispered back. "If they feel sorry for us, then they'll give us more food!"
"Oh...I get it!" Tira said.
Xianghua finished up her crying and reappling her make-up. She was smiling really crazily at Tira and Nightmare. There was a little twitch in one of her eyes.
"Well..." Xianghua said through her teeth.
"Well what?" Tira asked trying not to be too creeped out by Xianghua.
"Aren't you going to ask how Kilik and I met?"
"Um...how did you and Kilik meet?" Tira asked.
"Thanks for asking! We knew eachother for quiete some time and ten weeks ago we started going out."
"Wow...really cool." Tira said sarcatically.Thankfully, Xianghua's creepy smile and her eye twitching went away.
"I know!" Xianghua said, trying to show off.
Tira and Nightmare rolled their eyes in perfect unision. Kilik trotted over to the table with a plate full of hamburgers in his hands.
"Foods done!" Kilik announced. "Xianghua, can you please get the paper plates and the buns?"
"Yes, Kilik-chan!" Xianghua answered before skipping away.
Kilik set the hamburgers down on the table and sat down on the side Xianghua was. He opened up a bag of dill pickle chips and placed the it right next to the plate of hamburgers. In little time, Xianghua came back with the stuff Kilik told her to get. She set that down on the table as well.
"Can we eat now?" Nightmare asked.
"Of course you can! Dig in!" Kilik said.
Almost instantly, both Tira and Nightmare grabbed two handfull of chips and two hambugers each. Kilik and Xianghua watched in awe and shocked as their neighbors wolf ed down the food and liked the plate clean.
"Um...are you still hungry?" Kilik asked with a sense of bewilderment in his speech.
"Yes!" Tira and Nightmare said. They grabbed the rest of the burgers and wolfed them down as well.
Kilik and Xianghua sat quietly until they were finished. Kilik looked at the empty plate.
"Oh, would you look at that!" Kilik said. "We're out of hamburgers! Xianghua, can you please help me make more?"
"Yes, Kilik," Xianghua said. The two got up and went over to the grill.
"OK Tira. Nows your chance!" Nightmare whispered.
Tira nodded her head grabbed the bag of chips. She got up and ran to their campsite and threw the chips into the tent. Tira then ran back to the picnic table and sat next to Nightmare. Nightmare yawned rather loudly and Xianghua walked over.
"I'm getting tired," Nightmare said. "I think we're going back to our tent and go to bed."
"Oh...OK then," Xianghua said. "It was nice having you over."
"Tell Kilik we said bye," Tira said.
"I will, bye!" Xianghua waved.
Nightmare and Tira waved and started walking back to their tent. Kilik ran up to them before they were gone.
"Wait! I wanted to ask you two something." he said.
Nightmare sighed and Tira rolled her eyes.
"What is it?" Nightmare asked.
"Tomarrow, Xianghua and I are going to a karoke bar in the near by town to meet up with some friends. We were wondering if you two might want to come."
"Um...Sure. We can come," Nightmare said.
"Great!" Kilik said cheerfully. "Well...We'll see you tomarrow!"
"Yep! Bye!" Nightmare waved at Kilik as they walked away.
"Nice Nightmare," Tira said with a sour expression on her face. "We're suppose to be here camping, not going to a karoke bar..."
"Oh, shut up Tira...You didn't even want to come in the first place."
"Good point."
"Besides...You know you want to go."
Tira rolled her eyes and went into the tent.