Cappie POV

I inhaled deeply, pulling the scent of strawberries and vanilla into my lungs and for the first time in a very long time, I felt like I was home, like there was an empty place inside me that had suddenly been filled. It was like the immense feeling of relief that you get when you realize you've survive an ordeal and came out the other side. Like a weight was gone and everything was right in the world.

I knew the feeling wouldn't last. I also knew exactly what was causing it. I knew the moment the aroma of her hair hit my nose. I knew it when I felt how perfectly her body was snuggled against mine. Like it was made to fit, and maybe, it was.

A recent conversation on the roof with Spitter and Calvin had me thinking quite a lot about that recently. The concept of soul mates. The idea that there was one perfect person out there for everyone. It seemed like a needle in a haystack concept to me. We have such a short time on the planet to search through billions of people just to find the one person we're meant to be with.

The logical part of my brain told me this whole idea was insane. And yes, there is a logical part of my brain.

The romantic part told me that it wasn't a problem. I had already found my soul mate. And yes, there is a romantic part, too.

The idea that Casey might really be the one for me gave me a bit of hope. It was silly, but thinking of the whole thing that way made everything okay somehow.

I could rationalize with my brain by saying, it might not be our time at the moment, but it would be eventually. And yes, there was even a rational part of my brain.

There is actually much more to me than drinking, girls, parties and video games. There is a softer side to Cappie. I might not let it show very often, but I swear it's there.

Come to think of it, the only person in the world that had ever really gotten to know that side of me was currently nestling herself even deeper into my chest as she slept.

I looked down at her, wondering what she was dreaming about, and softly touched her hair. The hair that I had grown pretty obsessed with when we were together. I wondered if she remembered it was me she had fallen asleep with or if her dreaming mind was imagining I was Max or worse, Evan.

I didn't know if she and Max had slept together and frankly I was happier without knowing. I couldn't bring myself to imagine her in someone else's bed again. I spend nights laying awake in the months after our breakup torturing myself with images of her and Evan together in my head. My mind betrayed me every time I closed my eyes for weeks. I didn't want to go through that again. So not knowing was better.

She shifted, rolling towards me in her sleep and lazily draping her long, slender arm around my shoulder. The move brought her lips so close to mine I could almost taste them. I struggled against my own instinct, my body's urgent need to kiss her. I wanted to remember what it felt like again. I needed to feel her moist, unbelievably soft, pliable lips under mine again.

I shifted this time, in a desperate, urgent need to put some distance between us before I did something stupid and ruined everything I was trying so hard to build between us. But the move was no help at all. When I settled onto my back, she molded herself against me, her arm fell across my chest and her leg draped over mine. In fact, her leg was very nearly resting right against Mr. Happy, who was indeed living up to his nickname because of her close proximity.

Actually Mr. Happy had been at full attention for the last couple of hours now. Since she had gotten comfortable during the last movie by using me as a human pillow.

I vaguely remembered seeing those Ads on T.V. for shit like Viagra and at the end there is a warning about dangers from having an erection lasting over four hours. I was watching the clock and it was coming up on three hours already. I wondered if I should be concerned or if it only applied to the drug users.

I had the ridiculous thought that Beaver would probably know thanks to his sudden interest in Wikipedia. The thought nearly made me laugh out loud.

Funny the sort of things an exhausted mind could come up with.

I thought about just letting myself fall asleep, but there was no way I was going to miss a moment, not even a second of this rare opportunity I had to hold her. How could I possibly waste that on sleep ? No, I would stay awake until she moved out of my arms, reveling in every minute.

That didn't happen for another nearly two hours and I spent those two hours collecting every sigh she made, every snore, every movement and storing them in my memory for later use. Yes, it was a bit stalker-ish, but I was helpless to stop myself from doing it.

I knew the instant she woke up and I snapped my eyes shut and pretended I hadn't been staring at her while she slept. I felt her head move against chest, and a second later she snatched herself away from me.

Damn it, it was over. I hoped the memories I had collected could sustain me until the next time it happened.

I had a few moments to make a choice about what I was going to do. I couldn't bare the thought of her slinking from my room in shame again and avoiding me for weeks. So I did the only thing I could think of to make it okay. I played it cooled, or at least I thought I did.

I blinked sleepily at her, pretending to just wake up and smiled. " Good morning, Beautiful."

She gave me a coy smile in return. " I'm sorry. I guess I fell asleep."

Sitting up, I stretched. " It's okay. No big deal." I had to work pretty hard to pull that lie off well.

" Well, I guess I'm going to get home. You probably have a lot to do today." She moved from the bed and began to glance around for her things.

" Actually, I have nothing to do today. How about some breakfast ?" I said, trying to sound casual still.

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me her best disbelieving look. " By breakfast, do you mean, I should go downstairs, wade through the filth in your kitchen and make you an omelet ?"

I shook my head. " No, by breakfast, I mean, get back in bed, find something good on T.V. and I'll go downstairs, wade through the filth in my kitchen and make you breakfast."

She eyed me suspiciously. " Why?"

I blinked in surprise. " Why what ?"

" Why would you offer to make me breakfast ? You've never made me breakfast before. It was always my job. So why now ?"

I got out of bed and shrugged. " You're a guest in my home. I was just trying to be nice."

I watched as she sat back down on the bed. " This isn't some huge Cappie scheme of some kind, right? I mean, first you don't make a big deal out of me falling asleep in your bed, not even a barely disguised sexual comment, and now you offer to make me breakfast instead of the other way around."

" There is no scheme. I'm just being nice. Not everything I do has some hidden meaning behind it. And yeah, I'm perfectly okay with you accidentally falling asleep in my bed. You aren't the first of my friends that have done it. Beaver and Rusty both have woken up right where you did before." I told her.

She burst out laughing suddenly and I had to think back over what I had said that was so damned funny. Oh, yeah, now I see. " Well, Beaver and Rusty haven't woken up right where you were. They were both kind enough to stay on their own side of the bed." I back-peddled quickly. " But you know what I mean."

It took a few more seconds for her laughter to die down. " That imagine is going to stay with me for a long, long time."

I flipped her off and she laughed again.

" Now, now, rude gestures are so childish. Use your words, young man."

" Okay, then." I told her before leaving the room. " Fuck you."

I could hear her laughing all the way down the hall. It was almost as loud as my own.

Casey's POV

I should have left. I knew it. I shouldn't be spending my morning lounging in Cappie's bed watching Fraggle Rock and eating the glorious feast of pancakes, fruit ( God Knows where he found that in the Kappa Tau kitchen), eggs, toast and coffee he had brought me. I shouldn't be spending my morning indulging myself in his company, taking up his time again.

I should have gone home and called Max. I hadn't even talked to him in the last two days and worse yet, I hadn't really thought of him either. That bothered me more than not talking to him.

But I had had more fun in the last week than I'd had in the last two years all combined and I wasn't willing to let it end yet. It was selfish and self-centered and if Max found out where I was spending all my time, it would be hurtful. I didn't want to hurt him. He had been hurt enough to last anyone a life time.

But I was also trying to be honest with myself. There was nowhere else I wanted to be and no one I wanted to be with more than the man sitting next to me, stealing food from my plate and singing the Fraggle Rock theme song along with the brightly colored puppets on the T.V..

God, what did that mean ? Did it mean that I really liked having him as my friend ? Did it mean that I was starting to see him as much more than my friend ? Had I ever really seen him as just a friend ?

To say that Cappie and I had a history was like the understatement of the year. We had so, so much more than just a history. I know I played it off to Max that it was no big deal and like I said, I was determined that he was never going to find out the extent of our history.

After all, I knew if he did, there was no way he would be okay with all this. When I was really, really honest with myself, which I rarely was, I had to admit that Cappie had meant more to me in the six months we were together than Evan ever had in our two year relationship.

When something happened that reminded me of a time when Evan and I were together, I felt this kind of twinge in my chest, a vague feeling of nostalgia, but nothing more than that. When something reminded me of a time when Cappie and I were together, it hurt, like a ripping tearing pain in my chest that made me feel like I couldn't breath. It didn't last for days like it did when we first broke up, but it still hurt just as intensely. Time hadn't done anything for the pain, just the duration.

No boyfriend in his right mind would be okay with their girlfriend hanging out with someone that caused that kind of reaction in them.

When I thought of Evan, in my mind, he was labeled as an ex-boyfriend. When I thought of Cappie, he was always labeled as my first, real love.

So, no I had to make certain that Max never found out what Cappie had really meant to me.

My first, real love was nudging my shoulder as he stole another grape from my tray. " What are you thinking about? Cause it certainly isn't Dozers and Fraggles." He asked me.

I hated how well he had always been able to read me. No, actually, I didn't hate it but I should have.

" I was thinking I should probably call Max some time today." I told him.

" Yeah, I bet he thinks you don't love him anymore." He smiled. " Is he okay with you spending all this time with me ?"

I paused, mid-bite and sat my spoon down.

" Casey ?" He asked, drawing my name out slowly. " You haven't told him where you've been spending all your time lately, have you ?" His tone was scolding and I hide my face behind a curtain of hair.

" Not exactly." I answered.

" What does that mean ?"

" It means that Max doesn't own me. He has no right to dictate how I spend all my free time. We may be dating but that doesn't give him the right to tell me what to do." I fumed, feeling the anger building but having no idea what had caused it.

Cappie apparently wasn't as confused. Because he looked almost amused when he touched my hand to quiet me. " Max isn't Evan. He doesn't seem like that kind of guy that would try to dictate anything for you. You do however owe him something. You're dating, that means he don't lie to him. He hasn't even done anything to deserve that."

I stared at him like he'd grown another head. What the hell ? Why was he encouraging me to talk to Max like that ?

I kinda thought we were on the same page with the way I was feeling towards him. But clearly, he wasn't thinking the same way about me or he wouldn't be pushing me towards some other guy. He was making his position pretty clear. I was his friend. That's all he wanted me to be.

Well, if that was what he wanted, that's what I could be.

I pushed his fluffy blue comforter aside and slid out of the bed after handing him my tray. " You're right. I do owe him the truth and more than a little face time. So, I'm going to go try to find him. I'll catch up with you later."

" Okay. " He nodded. " Hey, " He stopped me as I got to the door. " Our Halloween party is next Friday. You should come by, bring Max. It'll be fun. I want a chance to get to know him better anyway."

I nodded. " Okay. If I don't see you before then, I'll see you next Friday." I answered, starting to leave again.

" Casey, " He stopped me again and I turned back to him. " I had a really good time last night."

" So, did I." I smiled and did my best to hide the disappointment I felt at leaving.

" Call me." He heard him say as I shut the door, just like the last time I left him in his bed after we'd spent the night there together.

Yep, there was the pain again. This time it took longer than a moment to go away.