Ok, since some of you didn't like how I crossed over Naruto with the Bible; forget everything I said about Moses, King David, and King Saul. But this is still an mpreg. Forget also about what I said about Obalma, they were just rumors I heard. I still think America's screwed though. In fact America's screwed either way, even if McCain became president. We did not have any good runner ups this time. Sorry for the cornyness on the last chapter. I was having a corny moment and couldn't help but type something corny. That is all. T-T

=^-^=

"Who is that?"

"What happened to Sasuke?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Did something happen?"

"What is that thing the guy's riding?"

People whispered to themselves as Naruto trudged into the camp with Sasori, going straight to Tsunade's tent. Some of them glared as others gave the blond and redhead a curios glance.

Ignoring them, Naruto entered his adopted mother's tent and left the redhead outside, getting a surprised look from her. Curios at what the blond wanted, she told him to sit down and to lay Sasuke on the rug bed.

He did what she ordered and sat down after laying the raven down on her bed.

"So what does Naruto want from me to have come into my tent without telling me first?" She asked, putting down her writing brush.

"A man named Sasori is here and wants a place to stay for the night," Naruto explained, crossing his legs Indian style.

"Did you say Sasori?"

"Yeah…"

Well let him in, boy!"

The blond raised an eyebrow and did what she told him to do. He motioned for the redhead to come in and opened the tent flap for him. Sasori entered and smiled at the blond woman, receiving a smile in return.

"Sasori," she greeted, motioning him to sit.

The redhead did, sitting with his legs crossed. "Tsunade-sama. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yes it has, old friend."

Naruto, who still stood by the tent flap, looked between them in confusion, his nose scrunched up at the red head being called old when he looks young. He cleared his throat, catching the blond woman's and redhead's attention.

"Do you two know each other?" He asks, his hands behind his back.

"Yes, he was the one who warned your father about the Samurais coming and helped you into my basket when you were younger," Tsunade explained, smiling at the dumbfound blond.

"Wait, wait, you were the gypsy who helped me escape?"

"Yeah, I thought you knew."

"I can't remember exactly what the gypsy looked like and I can't remember exactly what happened after I escaped." Naruto rubbed his temples in frustration. "And Sasori doesn't look a day over twenty!"

"Why thank you, that's might kind of you," the redhead grinned. "Actually I'm older than you think and I rather not say."

"Man, it feels like my head is about to explode from all this new information," Naruto whimpered, massaging the bridge of his nose.

Tsunade's face blanched after hearing that. Slowly, she turned towards Sasori and frowned at him. "Sasori, what exactly did you tell him?"

"I told him the truth. The Fourth is his father, Fugaku wants him dead, and that his parents were actually his Aunt and Uncle. I also told that Sasuke loves him and that he can get pregnant," the redhead replied, not expecting the fist that came right for him.

Sasori grunted at the punch and stumbled backwards from his sitting position. He quickly sat back up with a glare, rubbing his cheek. "What the fuck?!"

"Naruto wasn't supposed to know about his true parents or past. Now thanks to you, he's going to be mopy and depressed for who knows how long!"

"He needed to hear the truth, so I gave it to him. He deserves to know," the redhead growled, standing up.

"Even if he does deserve to know, I should have been the one to tell him," Tsunade growled back, standing up also. Naruto watched them with horrified filled eyes.

"And what? You probably weren't going to tell him until he was on his death bed or something. You shouldn't be holding it from Naruto. As his half cousin, I have the right to tell him."

Naruto jerked at this, swallowing loudly. "Y-you're my half cousin?"

The two stopped their bickering, looking at the blond as if they just remembered that he was there. Calming down, they looked at him with saddened eyes. Naruto looked between them, his eyes begging for an answer.

"Naruto," Tsunade started, letting out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry I kept this from you. And yes, Sasori is your half cousin. But his last name is different from yours."

Naruto chuckled sadly, tears gathering up in the corners of his eyes. "I guess that's a good thing then. Fugaku shouldn't be after you since you last name is different.

"Actually, he did want to kill me because my mother was an Uzimaki. But when he heard that my father was an Uchiha, he let me live, but only if I leave the monastery," Sasori replied sadly. "That's one of the reasons why I'm a wanderer. My father didn't even know that my mother was an Uzimaki."

"So what am I supposed to do?" the blond whimpered, biting his lip to keep back tears. "Am I going to have to leave camp to keep you the village safe? Or do I let them kill me?"

Tsunade went over to him and pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "We'll figure something out. But if you decide to leave, take Sasuke with you. You know he's in danger too and… he's also in love with you."

Naruto hugged back, feeling better. "I think it would be better if I left with Sasuke. It would cause less trouble for you and the village."

The blond went wide eyed and tore the boy off him so she could look into his eyes. "You know I was kidding right? I would never let you leave!"

Naruto smiled sadly, brushing her off. "I knew that, but now that you said it; I guess it wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"Hahaha, you are not leaving!"

"I actually have to agree with Naruto," Sasori piped in. "And when he goes, I'm going with him." He stood next the blond dobe and put a hand on his shoulder.

"This is ridiculous!"

"How so, Tsunade-sama?"

"He's just a boy! How is he going to survive on his own?!"

"I told you, I was going with him. So is Sasuke. So you have nothing to worry about," the redhead said with confidence.

"Where are we going?"

All went silent as Sasuke stood up from the bed rug. He walked over to them, yawing. "Where are we going?"

"Uh, Sasuke, um… you see, it's like this," Naruto stopped to take a deep breath, "we're in trouble and have to leave the village as quickly as possible and Sasori's coming with."

The raven sat there for a moment before saying: "Ok."

Surprised by his answer, Tsunade got furious. "What do you mean 'ok'?"

"Exactly what I mean, ok; let's go."

"You're not even going to think about it?!"

"I don't have to. I already knew that we were in trouble from the start. Ever since I left home, I knew they would be following me and look for me after what happened back at the monastery. So I think it's best that Naruto and I keep a move on."

"Sasuke's right, Tsunade-sama," Naruto agreed, looking the raven in the eye, blushing at what he saw. There was and tenderness in those eyes and they were just for him.

The blond woman threw her arms up in defeat. "Fine. But if I hear that any of my boys are hurt, I'm going to nail your dick to my tent post, you hear Sasori?"

"Yes mam," the redhead gave her a mock salute.

"Good, now get out of my sight."

The three men ran out of the tent, not wanting to see anymore of her anger.

=^-^=

Sorry, no bloopers today; I'm not in the mood. Maybe for the next chapter. Sorry if I upset any of you. And yes I have seen the 'Prince of Egypt.' In fact, we have that movie and I love it. But they added a few things that were not in the Bible. Oh well, whatever makes you laugh.

And the cornyness on the last chapter, I wasn't so proud of that either. I hope you enjoyed it so far. (eyes start to drop as if tired).

Sasuke: Don't worry Chocobo-chan, you'll feel better tomorrow. Besides, one of your friends that practically kisses the ground you walk on is coming over tomorrow.

Chocobo: Yeah, I guess so.

Naruto: And you have us to cheer you up!

Chocobo: That's what I'm afraid of.

Naruto: Hey!

Chocobo: Whatever. Entertain me and make me feel better.

Naruto: You're not the boss of me!

Chocobo: Entertain me unless you want to loose your job as the main character.

Naruto: … Damn it…

Sasuke: You drive a hard bargain, Chocobo-chan. Now when am I going to be able to kiss Naruto and have my way with him?

Chocobo: Not for a while.

Sasuke:! Why!

Chocobo: Because, dipstick, Naruto isn't exactly in love with you yet and you two don't have wild monkey sex until he does.

Sasuke: Why can't it be now?!

Chocobo: Because I said so.

Sasuke: You're just plain evil.

Chocobo: That too. Anyways, thanks for the reviews everyone!