Sorry that it took me so long to update, i'm also working on an other story that will be published here also... and maybe a songfic...

Anyway, this was realy the hardest chapter i ever wrote...

i want to thank the loyal reviewers:

Unconvential: I'm both loved and hated for my cliff's ... you'll be seeing more of them in this story...

nedandmozeluvr: Orlando Bloom won't apear.. at least not in this fic:p, You might recognise something out of one of your reviews in this chapter though :p

Countrygurl212: i don't know you... but i can't emagine you speechless... :p

Stealth Photographer: Thanks for the reviews, but they didn't start dating at their 11th grade.but in their 10th ( i think...)

so... 'nough said...

have "fun" reading...

and review, i love reviews... a lot...

Chapter 4:

Ned just sat there for a long time, gazing to a point above the television screen. He just couldn't believe it. She called him an hour ago, so how could that have happened so soon after, she was coming home!

Hot tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his sight completely. His mind was just blank, he couldn't think, or feel for that matter. Ned felt like his life was over, that someone ripped his soul out, leaving only his shell behind.

He hadn't noticed that his cell phone was ringing until it rang for the fifth time. He looked to the caller ID with hopeful eyes. It was Cookie, with a quivering sigh he picked up.

"Hi Ned, is Mose back yet? Lisa and I wanted to catch a movie and we wondered if you guys would come too," Cookie said with such happiness in his voice that it took all Ned's willpower not to burst out in tears.

"Cookie…" Ned took in a deep breath

"Ned are you alright? You sound a bit… sad…" Cookie asked worried.

"There's been an accident…" It was all Ned could say about it, silent tears rolled over his cheek, while a lump in his throat became so big that Ned found it hard to breathe.

"The train Mose took to come home… it… it crashed," The last word came out as a sob as realization hit him with full force.

"What?" It was all Cookie could say.

"I tried to call her, I tried, she can't be… please don't tell me… what do i do…" Ned broke down, sobbing so violently that his whole body shook.

"I'm coming over!" With that Cookie hung up.

"Why her?! Why? What have I ever done to You huh? What? I love her! This is not fair!" with the last thing said, Ned threw the remote control against the wall with all his might. It broke in several peaces and knocked a framed picture of him and Jennifer of the wall. Ned picked up the frame, wiped the broken glass of it. (ignoring the deep cuts in his fingers) and fell down on his knees, clutching the frame like his life depended on it.

By the time Cookie came into Ned's living room, Ned was nothing more then a pile of misery.

Without a word, Cookie knelt down beside Ned and pulled him in a hug.

"Its not fair," Ned kept repeating that sentence while punching Cookie on his right shoulder.

"I know," Cookie said, his own tears flowing down his cheeks.

The whole neighborhood was shocked by the accident, even the weather seemed to be grieving. It was raining non-stop for the last two days.

Ned carried a radio to everywhere he went, in the hope of any news that they found survivors.

But after two days, only six survivors where found, Ned recognized one of them as a fellow student of his school.

The emergency services started to clean up the wrecks of the train. All bodies and survivors where found. Some bodies where so messed up, that they couldn't identify it until further research.

For all the victims from Santa Clarita, there would be held one funeral service. There would be a monument with all their names on.

Ned lived in a daze. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep… he just couldn't function.

His parents became worried about his health. One member of Social Services came over to talk to Ned. But all he did was nod or shake his head. How could she understand what he was going through? He lost more then just a girlfriend, he lost his best friend, his soul mate, his heart… How could anyone understand that?

He just couldn't and wouldn't believe that Jennifer was gone.

Kevin cried for hours and hours straight, and was always found with his picture of Jennifer in his hand.

Several kids from school stopped by every now and then to comfort Ned, to make sure that he was okay. But he wasn't, far from it.

Suzie took it bad also, she clasped onto Ned and cried hysterically. Ned just hugged her back, silently crying also.

The funeral was touching, to say it at the least. Hundreds of flowers of a dozen kinds decorated the field next to the church. Since so many wanted to give their last honors to the victims of the crash the church would be way to small to fit them all in. A small two hundred people showed up to witness the service.

The priest cleared his throat.

"We are all together today because so many of us lost a relative or a close friend during the tragic train accident that occurred a few days ago. The loss of all those wonderful people is to much for words. They all went before their time… Ripped out of our lives in a way that's almost cruel. I happen to know a few of them in person, others I have baptized when they were little. But they haven't left us completely, in our hearts and minds they would be with us, guiding us…

Patrick Red, a man loyal to his friends and family, father of two proud sons: Michael and Serge Red

Lois Sarah Trost, mother of three sons and one daughter, her generous work for the church will never be forgotten," He kept going like that, saying something about each and every person that didn't survived. But Ned didn't paid attention, his mind took a run with him. They never found her body, sure, some of the bodies where unidentified, but still…

"Jennifer Ann Mosley, daughter of Vivian and Harvey Mosley, sister of Christine Mosley, her smile was known to bright up every room, her personality was one to make angels jealous. She went long before her time. She volunteered in the animal shelter and the nursing home during her spare time. The loss of such a delightful girl is almost to much to bare…"

"She isn't dead!" Ned heard himself shout without realizing that he had opened his mouth. Dozens and dozens of heads turned to him. Ned saw his father shoot him a scowl, but he didn't care. For days he thought of this, hoped for it and eventually he believed it.

"Don't you see? They never found her body or anything that could point out whether she's dead or not!" Ned saw Mrs. Mosley burst into tears, that made him come to his senses. Without another word, he stood up and left.

He leant against his parents car, trying to figure out what he said. Was it possible?

"Ned,"

Ned turned and saw Missy standing a few feat away from him, her hands in her pockets her eyes puffy and red, and her expression sad.

"I know you loved her, that one of the many thing I envied about her… But you

Have to realize… she won't come back…" Missy stared at the ground.

"She isn't dead Missy, I know it… I feel it," Ned said determinedly.

Missy walked up to him and swept him in a hug. Ned patted her on her back as Missy cried onto his shoulder.

"You have to stop kidding yourself Ned, she won't come back. And until you realized that and accepted that, you would just end up tearing yourself apart," Missy looked up at him.

Ned nodded. He knew she was right, but just couldn't just accept the fact that Jennifer was gone, he just couldn't.

You all gonna hate me forever arent ya?

falls on her knees please forgive me...

anyway

END OF THE STORY!!!

no i'm just kidding i have... lets see... counts a bunch of chapters to write before the story is done...

ow... one thing...

make sure you have tissues ready when i update the next chapter, it made me cry like a baby...

Good luck with the examinations if you gonna have them

xxxx-xx-xxxx