"Let's leave no words unspoken and save regrets for the broken
Will you even look back when you think of me?"
All I Want - A Day To Remember
Bradley
Bradley looked out of his condo's window, onto the rainy Vancouver skyline. His father's voice boomed from his cellphone, solidifying his decision.
"I've worked too hard for you to throw it away!" Bradley rolled his eyes; it was typical of his father to bring the subject back to himself.
I've worked too hard.
So many people would love to be in your shoes.
Why would you walk away from the fame?
That's what it came down to in the end. The fame.
Bradley messaged his temples. "How did you find out?"
"I own you, Bradley. I find out everything."
Bradley watched as the Vancouver sky-train zoomed on the tracks below. Watched as the city's citizens walked to their everyday lives. Bradley felt a twinge of envy in his chest. What must it be like to be anonymous? To walk down the street without people flooding towards you, claiming to love you when all they know is what someone else wanted them to know.
"Dad, I am 18 years old, you don't own me," Bradley turned and walked towards his kitchen island, back to the sandwich that he had been making before his father called.
"I told you that I didn't want to be in the music business anymore," Bradley set his phone on the island, picked up a knife, and resumed chopping tomatoes.
"And I told you that you didn't have to be in the music business! There are lines of movie agencies that would love-"
"I don't want to go into film either!" Bradley sliced through the tomato, the knife smacking hard against the cutting board. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you! I don't want to be famous anymore!"
His father sighed heavily, Bradley could practically see his head shaking. "I don't understand why you would throw away everything you've worked so hard for."
"I didn't though," he chopped another slice, the grip on his knife so hard that it turned his knuckles white. "You were the one who put me in child modeling when I was two! TWO! You were the one who got me into all of those commercials when I was kid! And you were the one who paid my way into Boys 4 Now!"
He wasn't paying attention to how many slices he was cutting now. He could feel his face turning hot. "I want to go to a normal high school, and I will! I honestly don't see what you can do about it!" He chopped again, not realizing how close the knife had been to his fingers.
"Oh fuck!" He dropped the knife.
"Son? Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Bradley rushed his bleeding fingers towards the sink, running them through cold water.
He almost cried by the sting of his injuries.
"Bradley?!"
"Listen!" Bradley shut the tap off. "I already applied to this international student program. I got paired with a couple in New Jersey, and I've been enrolled into a high school. I've never had friends growing up, or had a proper education, because you decided that fame was for me. I never got a choice!"
His father didn't say anything, Bradley continued.
"This was the life that you wanted! You were the one who wanted to move to Los Angeles, and you stayed there while I moved back to Vancouver! Mom would've wanted me to grow up in Canada."
The silence rang loud through the phone. Bradley hadn't meant to bring his mother into the conversation, but he knew it was true. From what he remembered; his mom was proud of her Canadian nationality. While his father always wanted to leave, his mother wanted to keep their roots in Vancouver. Once she passed, Bradley's father took him to Los Angeles and didn't bring him back. It wasn't until Bradley was 16 that he moved back to his hometown by himself.
"Look, Dad," he opened a drawer, digging for band aids. "Please let me try this, I just want to experience it. I want to know that I can make friends simply because people like me. Not just because of my fame and money."
He found a loose band aid, struggling to tear it open. "If it doesn't work out, I promise I'll go back into the entertainment business."
For a moment, he thought his father had hung up. But after a couple moments, he heard his father sigh again.
"I don't understand why you would want to do this. How are you even planning on going undetected?"
"I have that figured out." He tore the packaging with his teeth, his fingers bleeding over the band aid. "I dyed my hair black, and got brown contacts-"
"You dyed your hair?!"
Bradley managed to wrap the band aid around his index finger, which had been bleeding the most. "It's not a big deal, it will grow back."
"Your hair is your signature look!"
Bradley ignored him. "Dad. I'm doing this. I need to do this. I promise if I hate it, if someone recognizes me, if somehow it all goes wrong. I will go back into the music business, fuck it, I'll even go into film. Just please. Please be okay with it."
He had balled his injured hand into a fist, not having anticipated begging to his father.
"Bradley…" a pause. "Okay. Fine. If this is what you need to do to realize that leaving this industry is a huge mistake then fine. Do what you need to do. But as soon as someone so much as recognizes you, you are coming to Los Angeles immediately! Understood?"
Bradley hadn't realized that he was holding his breath until he let it out. "Understood."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Thank-"
"I'll talk to you later," his dad hung up, leaving Bradley standing alone.
Louise
The scent of salt water flowed through the chilly air, reminding her of when she fell in love with Logan.
The summer sun had been brutal, leaving burns across her shoulders and cheeks.
"Oh shit, you're burnt." Logan pulled off the backpack he was carrying, pulling out aloe vera gel.
Louise shrugged. "I hardly noticed," she lied, heat radiating from her raw skin.
She almost groaned. The relief from the cold gel, followed by Logan's fingers massaging her tender skin, ignited a fire in her belly.
"There," Logan smiled at her as she turned back to face him. His eyes looked at her as if she was the best thing to have ever happened to him. As he leaned down, planting his lips on hers, she truly felt like she was.
The wind blew a sprinkle of ocean water on their faces. Interestingly, the autumn water that now splashed on her face, felt much like the burns on her shoulders.
The sun was long gone, replaced by bleak clouds. The waves crashing beneath the pier, and the squawking of sea gulls filled the silence between them.
"I still love you," Logan said to the vast ocean ahead of them.
Louise scoffed, subtly wiping a tear away. She leaned against the railing, watching the unsteady waters crash against the pillars that held the pier up.
She thought about jumping, and rolled her eyes. She expelled that thought away, there was no need to be dramatic.
"I'll always love you." He spoke again.
Louise didn't believe him.
"You wouldn't have done what you did if you truly loved me."
This time, Logan turned, looking at her with desperation. "I wasn't myself."
Louise rolled her eyes, ready to walk away. "It was multiple times, Logan. You cheated
multiple times." She gripped the railing; she swore she heard her fingers crack.
"Yes, but it was a mistake-"
"Oh, fuck off!" She turned away, eyeing the exit to the wharf. "Maybe, maybe, I would forgive you if it had been one time, but it wasn't. As much as I love you, I need to love myself more." She was about to walk away, leave without another word, leave with her dignity. But Logan grabbed her arm.
"So, you still love me?"
"Let go, Logan!" She tried to yank her arm away.
"But you still love me?" he asked eagerly.
"Oh my god! That's not the point!" She managed to yank her arm back.
"The point is that you cheated and that's the end of it!"
She almost gasped at the sight of Logan's eyes. Tears threatened to spill from their edges, as he looked at her, pleading for her forgiveness.
"I just-I guess…I guess it just needed to happen for me to realize how much I need you."
Louise raised her eyebrows, "oh my god," her voice cracked. "Do you hear yourself right now?"
"Louise look," he placed his hands on her shoulders. "I get it, I hurt you, and that was fucked up. I'm sorry."
He waited for her to say something, she swallowed, her throat burning but not speaking.
"I can't expect you to just be okay after this, nor should I expect you to welcome me back with open arms, so I'll give you time."
She wrinkled her eyebrows, "what?"
"You don't have to forgive me now, but let me just show you that I mean it! Let me prove to you that I won't betray you again."
Louise looked up at him, his face resembling the face that looked at her that one summer day.
Tears fell from her eyes, and swam down her face. "Fuck," she whispered, hating herself for being vulnerable.
She tried looking away, but Logan gently cupped her cheek, bringing her face back up to him.
"I promise, I'll never hurt you again."
Louise closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him again. "Okay," she whispered, not knowing what else to say. "I can't promise that I'll forgive you anytime soon, or that I'll forgive you at all, but okay."
Logan smiled in relief, "I'm not going to let you down, Louise, I promise."
As he leaned down and kissed her, Louise couldn't help but think that he already had.