The Interest of Love - What is love?
A promotion poster for the Series has the caption …. "Can you handle all of this for the sake of love and love alone?"
The 16 episodes of The Interest of Love series has the four main leads experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions as they interchange their partners while finding what love means to them .
Set in the office space of KCU Bank's Yeongpo branch, 'The Interest of Love' is the story of the four employees along with the other cohorts that work diligently every day, however the discriminatory practices of the bank based on one's social class of wealth vs poor places undo burden on everyone both in career advancement and in love. Customers to the bank are also divided in classes with the VIP, very wealthy customers getting the ultimate preferred service that includes in home banking service…Those requesting mortgage and business loans have special representatives that only cater to them while all the everyday ordinary customers have to pick a number and wait in line until they can be called . The four main leads each have a different outlook on life and love.
Ha Sang Su, one of the specialty junior manager at the branch who was a top-level student at an elite school however he prefers living a normal average life in reality. His beliefs lies in the normalcy of life and the comfort that it brings. Vowing to never return to the level of poverty during his youth he blends in with his wealthy friends that he went to school with and gets along with everyone he meets….. He is a kind and considerate good guy but has a hard time understanding himself as to why he does what he does. He doesn't like casual dating, he prefers being in a committed relationship.
Ahn Soo Young, the fourth year service representative at the bank. As a woman with a complex family history and beauty, she leads a tangled life looking for a defined relationship. Her outlook on love is that it is a perishable emotion which changes very easily. Her belief that if she worked hard her efforts would be recognized so that she could earn a better life for herself was changed once she became this bank's employee …. Some opportunities may seem fair but they are subtly discriminatory as well. Those outside the line can't easily cross over it. The only way to not get hurt was to accept the truth. At this place, I am definitely on the other side of the line.
Park Mi Kyung is the new assistant manager at the branch who used to be Ha Sang Su's junior in college. Though she comes from a very wealthy family…. Her father criticizes her for working for " Jump change" rather than getting married to a suitable wealthy heir… she tries to project herself as someone that has worked her way to where she is. However she flaunts her wealthy status every chance she gets…her college friend boldly calls her a pretentious hypocrite.
Jeong Jong Hyun, who is studying to become a police officer knows who he is….. I'm a security guard doing manual labor, paid for by a repair company. I feel like a stranger on payday, you know how I feel. Even so I guess I'm not stupid….. I don't mind being mistreated or belittled because I'm a contract worker. I have a dream…. I'm sure it will be better.
As employees who spend most of their time at work, they try to find love in the same place. Multiple happenings and emotions work at the forefront of their office life. The pressures they place on themselves create more problems than they solve as was the case for Ha Sang Su - ML and Ahn Soo Young- FL. It took them four episodes to admit what went wrong with their budding romance just after one date.
Soo Young: Is it fun?….. Toying with my emotions, that is.
Sang Su: I could say the same thing to you.
Soo Young: You still can't bring yourself to be honest.
Sang Su: Tell me….. so that I can understand.
Soo Young: Then explain what happened that day?
Sang Su: I've already told you….. It was because of the balances.
Soo Young: No…. The real reason… it wasn't that you couldn't come…you choose not to come….. I saw you…. I saw everything…. You were an hour late….but you didn't bother to hurry… I started thinking to myself…. Why is he leaving? ….. At first I didn't understand….. but then I realized ….. Was it because of what I said…..
Flashback to when Sang Su asked for the second date:
Sang Su: Can we do it again? …
Soo Young: I don't like undefined relationships….. I didn't want to believe that….. but the next day… you said … I had problems yesterday, I'm sorry I couldn't make it… Did you wait long?…. I asked myself…. Why did he lie?…. Why did he hide the fact that he had arrived there….. then I thought…. You didn't want me to know….. you didn't want me to know that you hesitated… Am I right?…. Why did you hesitate?… I thought my background didn't matter to you….. I didn't go to college…I'm just a teller and my family is poor… Was that why you left? …. Or was it because you were going to HQ and you didn't want rumors floating about … then you shouldn't have acted like you were different.
Sang Su: Was I a joke to you or was I the opposite?… I took you seriously…. You weren't someone whom I wanted to date on a whim…. I even thought about marrying you.
Soo Young: Then why did you do that?…. Why did you hesitate?
Sang Su: I don't know…. It wasn't intentional…. It just happened… but I didn't hesitate for long and I went straight back to you…but you weren't there.
Soo Young: Exactly…. So I was right.
Sang Su: But I eventually went back…..I might've had some doubts…but I still went back.
Soo Young: You still hesitated…. I didn't mean that much to you.
Sang Su: Then why did you act that way… you saw me heading to the hotel that day….Why didn't you say anything?…. Why give me the cold shoulder?…Why didn't you give me a chance to explain myself?
Soo Young: I didn't owe you anything… you could've asked?
Sang Su: You could've confronted me then and there…. We could've talked it out.
Soo Young: What was I suppose to say…. That I deserved to know exactly why you hesitated….. Is that being average?…. Did you hesitate because dating me would make it harder for you to become average…. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Sang Su: Let me ask you one question…. Soo Young… Did you feel anything for me?… Was it just me imaging things?
Soo Young: Yes… I thought you and I were similar…that's all.
Sang Su: You won't regret this Ahn Soo Young: No Ha Sang Su: And you're not sad…. About anything?
Soo Young: No
This conversation should've taught both of them a communication lesson, but they both have a lot to learn….. They continued to hold back their true feelings and allowed the two second leads to come in and have their way with them even though they later would admit as to how much they still liked each other.
Soo Young: I like him for no reason, even though I have feelings for him, I can't tell the truth because I understand why he is hesitating. So I have no right to be honest about how I feel. No matter how hard I tried, I was stuck in my position and couldn't go far. .
Soo Young' s self esteem has been broken down by life's rejections she now views herself like the apartment she rented….. In the cold, dark and worn out house that resembled me, I felt relieved…. Will love in her life change the bleak outlook she has of herself?
Sung Su: Why do I love her?…. Because she's never said no…. No matter how difficult, complicated or trivial the task is, she never refuses. Must be tough, she works hard, the more difficult the situation, the calmer her demeanor. She reminds me of myself.
Sang Su's biggest problem is understanding himself: People say it's impossible to understand love, but I think it's even more impossible to understand myself. I don't understand why I hesitated at that time or why I should forget it?
His mind doesn't let go of his thoughts of Soo Young and has many sleepless night thinking of ways to have her forgive him.
The script writers of this series used the Bait and Switch technique masterfully in both the up and coming previews each week, but also in the progression of the storyline. When Mi Kyung was introduced to the bank employees they were easy for her to win them over with her beauty, cloths, and joyful personality, however, Soo Young was a different matter since she remained herself and stayed away from the others adoration. Hearing that Soo Young was considered the " Goddess " of the KCU Yeoungpo branch…. Park Mi Kyung's ego couldn't handle that someone beneath her class could be recognized as such…. She immediately tries to make friends with Soo Young with the intention to lower her self esteem even more. Seeing that her old college classmate Sang Su didn't even recognize her at first and was always looking at Soo Young she became determined to have Sang Su as her new boyfriend.
With Sang Su's personality of going along to get along Mi Kyung had little trouble in occupying his time and making others believe that he was going to be her boyfriend, especially Soo Young.
Soo Young's personality of never refusing any task given her allowed Mi Kyung the means to manipulate and abuse their friendship as a way to convince Soo Young that Sang Su was hers and that the real Goddess of Yeoungpo Branch has claimed him. Every time Soo Young saw Sang Su with Mi Kyung , though her heart was breaking she continued to convince herself that there was nothing between them so why should she be hurt. Out of loneliness and despair she begins to accept Jong Hyun's friendship and feelings for her.
Jong Hyun: There is no need to feel compelled to return my feelings?…. I don't expect anything from you.
Soo Young: Jong Hyun….. you never asked about my life….. Which has been her biggest draw back both at work and love.
Being in the same station in life….. Soo Young was less restrictive and more open than she is with Sang Su that still fills her heart.
Frustrated with Mi Kyung overtly projecting her new boyfriend….. Soo Young went out of her way to sway Jong Hyun to come back after he failed his police exam and broke up with her. She even took it one step further and asked him to move in with her until he can get back on his feet.
Soo Young and Sang Su continue to make one misstep after another when it comes to love and who should their love be given to.
The script writers once again did a bait and switch with the ending of episode 8 . At the wedding of Yang Seok Hyun… Ha Sang Su and Soo Young couldn't keep their eyes off each other even though they where next to their new partners. They talked with their eyes.
Sang Su: That person is in front of me
Soo Young : The one I could have had
Sang Su: But I lost
Soo Young: I won't look
Sang Su: I won't think
Soo Young : To protect the one that chose me
Sang Su: To honor the choice I made
Soo Young: I won't hope for anything
Sang Su: In case I might desire her again…. In case….. I can't deceive my own heart.
At this point in the series the script writers just throw a monkey wrench into what they spent the last 8 episodes building.
To have Soo Young reserve a hotel room and then tell Jung Hyun that she was sleeping at a friends house raised all kinds of red flags as to how she views her relationship with Jong Hyun . To further compound the situation Sang Su is driving , looking at his watch constantly and then arriving at the hotel ….. rings the doorbell leaving the impression that the two are meeting each other in secrecy.
The preview to episode 9 doesn't allude to any of this but does imply that cracks into the new relationships have formed. Even though Mi Kyung says that everything is going great with her relationship with Sang Su… she finds the notebook that Soo Young had given Sang Su. As she has always done with this fake friendship…she tries to get Soo Young to tell of her past with him.
The one preview scene that got the most attention is when Hyun says that he "should've never agreed to come here" and walks out…. Leaving Soo Young in a pensive mood.
Sang Su and Soo Young are walking on the beach both smiling and Sang Su asks her if she is happy. After seeing this preview the words in the Third Promo video began to make sense.
Soo Young: When I'm with you, Mr Ha…. I forget the situation I'm in
Sang Su: They make me nervous and uncomfortable… These circumstances, these feelings… But none of that matters.
Soo Young: Can we meet?
Sang Su: I can't hold back…. Not anymore….. I made the mistake of giving my heart to someone I shouldn't have. …..With these words the images of them getting intimate were clearly seen.
I couldn't help but think if this was more bait and switch, by the script writers… will they take the hard way of bringing this romance to it's final destination or the easy way? Not Until episode 16 do we really find out what direction the script writers are taking this series to
My version of the What if's Bait and Switch the Hard Way
Episode 9 begins with Soo Young looking into Sang Su's eyes not knowing what will happen next….. Sang Su afraid to once again hesitate pulls Soo Young into his arms : why did you ask me here?
Soo Young: life has a way of playing the cruelest tricks on us….. the more I pushed you away the more I wanted you
Sang Su: You want me … you really want me
Soo Young: When I'm with you, Mr Ha…. I forget the situation I'm in They share their first kiss
Sang Su: Soo Young…. There hasn't been a moment that I haven't wanted you… even that night … I hesitated because of me….. not you…..I always over think situations and because of it I make things worse and I make myself miserable….. I love you Soo Young
Soo Young: If what I'm feeling is love….. I love you to…. But we can't be together… I would hate myself if your life is ruined because of me…. Besides Mi Kyung will never let you go….. she's been using both of us…. You've become her newest acquisition .
Sang Su: Let me worry about that
My version of bait and switch the Easy Way
Episode 9 begins with Sang Su seeing Soo Young walks into the hotel room
Sang Su: before you say anything… Let me say what I've wanted to say since that night… Soo Young… I love you ….. I can't stop thinking about you… I know you love me too …. So let's get married and then we'll date….. isn't that what average people do?
Soo Young remains speechless and stunned… looks into his eyes and places her arms around his neck and gives him the most passionate of kisses. They fall into the large bed and consummate their new beginning. In both of the above scenarios, the outcome should be the same…. As seen in the first 8 episodes nothing comes easy for our two main leads.
The beginning of Episode 9 the script writers definitely did a bait and switch by showing that Park Mi Kyung and Ha Sang Su appearing to be married with a wedding photo and kids drawings being seen however they both appear to be rather unhappy., The the scene shifts to the wedding of Yang Seok Hyun that ended Episode 9. A clear explanation of the hotel scene that made everyone think that Sang Su and Soo Young were going to be together was in fact Sang Su being greeted by Mi Kyung who wanted to show him off to her friends….. while Ahn Soo Young wanted some alone time to pamper herself so she had room service bring bath lotions and scents while she laid in the plush bubble bath and wondering why she let herself have sex with Jong Hyun the day before.
As this story continues the script writers need to show " What Is Love" in order to understand the Promotion Quote" Can you handle all of this for the sake of Love and Love Alone"
What Is Love?
Love is an emotion that is often described as a feeling of strong affection. It is a feeling of strong attachment or admiration and cares for someone or something. It is often described as a warm, fuzzy feeling in the chest.
Love is often associated with romance, but it can also be felt for friends, family, pets, and even things like favorite foods. Love is a very personal feeling and everyone experiences it differently.
There are many different types of love, such as parental love, friendship love, and romantic love. Each type of love has its unique characteristics.
Parental love is selfless and protective. Parents are often willing to do anything for their children, and they feel a strong sense of responsibility toward them. They want their children to be safe and secure and will go to great lengths to achieve that. Parental love is demonstrated when a parent sacrifices their time and resources for their child. For example, a parent may work overtime to pay tuition for their child.
Sang Su's mother Han Jeong Im revealed how strong a mother's love is as she reflected on Sang Su childhood in episode 4 at the husbands memorial
Han Jeong Im: You were different even as a young boy…other kids would wine and beg their parents to buy them video games or shoes…. You carried the weight of the world on your shoulders… You never asked for anything… you never once let on that you were struggling or in pain. … Don't make me feel bad for raising you like that…. Try acting up or being immature for once…. Go on dates, get into relationships and get married…..get divorced, too, if you want… Don't take things so seriously.
In episode 9 Han Jeong Im even gave her approval of his relationship with Park Mi Kyung knowing that her mother warned her that she wouldn't want to be the mother in law to her own daughter….She is to demanding and bossy
She gives her son some insight into the class disparity between their two families Han Jeong Im: Did you know about her family when you got into this
Sang Su: What's her family like?
Han Jeong Im: The landlord of my shop is friends with her mom…. They're in the same group and the poorest one in that group is my landlord, who owns the shop building… But still, I support your relationship. I like that you're dating someone and living your life…. Ha Sang Su you are are just as good as she is.
Han Jeong Im : Given your personality, you must like her a lot… if you decided to introduce her to me…. What do you like about her?
Sang Su: I feel comfortable. We went to the same same college….. we get each other. She's easy to get along with, so we never argue… She's also acknowledgeable and respected at the bank….He looks at his mother with that confused look on his face: What is it?
Han Jeong Im: Well It just sounds like you're complimenting a colleague not your girlfriend.
If only Sang Su would learn to understand himself the way his mother does, his romantic love for Soo Young would have been much different at this point.
Friendship love is supportive and nurturing. Friends are there for each other when things get tough, and they provide comfort and support to each other. They want the other to succeed and do whatever they can to help. For example, a friend may comfort another friend who is going through a difficult time.
Since the moment Jong Hyun moved into Soo Young house the uneasiness and nervousness between the two became apparent. This was clearly not romantic love, but rather a friend helping a friend.
Soo Young: Do you regret moving in with me? …. You're right about the Veranda….. I wouldn't have cleaned it out if I lived alone… you were part of the reason, but why is that a bad thing? If I were in your situation … wouldn't you have done the same for me? Would you have just sat and watched as I struggled? …
What Soo Young fails to see …. Is it love or friendship for her actions… she has allowed this relationship to form not out of love since she has never said she loves Jong Hyun, but rather feels sorry for him.
Romantic love is passionate and intense. People in romantic relationships are strongly attracted to each other physically and experience strong feelings of passion, joy, and happiness. They want to be together all the time and enjoy doing things together. For example, they may have a strong desire to be near each other and feel butterflies in their stomach when they see each other.
The intimate scenes between the two couples showed no passion nor intensity. Mi Kyung once again manipulated Sang Su to allow her to sleep with him. As it was seen he couldn't wait to get up early. As far as Soo Young sleeping with Jong Hyun wasn't what she wanted… her mind was more on Mi Kyungs anxieties about who Sang Su really loved and she let her guard down by letting Jong Hyun kiss her. Sex was the only act she hasn't done to try to salvage this broken fact that she lied to him and wanted to be by herself confirmed that a passionate and intense love doesn't exist between the two. In both cases neither Sang Su nor Soo Young initiated the sex. Both weren't interested in a redo.
Episode 10 ending …The playful interaction between the two lovers on the Ice Hockey Arena and the difference between Mi Kyung being there and now Soo young. Mi Kyung lied about not being able to skate while Soo Young showed what a beginner she really was.
Soo Young: Why aren't you coming?
Sang Su: I lost
Soo Young: But you didn't even try
Sang Su thoughts: But then you're back to square one…. I fooled myself into thinking I was going somewhere…. I'm back to square one…. Once again I'm back to Soo Young:
Soo Young: Thank you…
What has been so frustrating with this series is that it's taken 10 episodes to highlight the intense passion that has been building between the two lovers
Sang Su: I don't think ….. I can do this anymore….
Sang Su goes for the Kiss that he has always wanted to do from the moment he realized Soo Young was the one he loved...As their lips meet ...Sang Su showed the passion and intensity that he has kept bottled up . Soo Young startled and surprised with eyes wide open succumb to her feelings from the first moment she laid eyes on him ….. She lets herself go and grabs on to him while giving back the same passion she has prevented herself from showing him… their long and passionate kisses becomes the prelude to things to come or is it?
At this point in the series after the many episodes of misunderstandings, miscommunications, anger , mistrust and the separation that forced them to look to others for what they were seeking in each other…. "The Kiss" is the clarity for both their minds and hearts to accept what the other has to to give. However the writers continued with their Bait and switch and turned Soo Young into a psychotic, selfish bitch for not letting herself go farther than where she has been... she refuses to understand that It takes two committed in their feelings and desires to form a lasting , loving relationship
Sang Su's and Soo Young 's relationship had to experience the grief and turmoil in each of themselves in order to fully appreciate the loving relationship they seek with each other.
Love is a very powerful emotion and can be both positive and negative. When love is positive, it may make people happy and content. When love is negative, it may cause people to feel angry, jealous, or possessive. Love is an important part of our lives and maybe a source of comfort, happiness, and security.
In understanding Love one needs to understand what love isn't
What love is and isn't
Love isn't possession Love is not about having someone else or belonging to someone else. This misconception is especially present in what we call romantic love. Often when we believe we love someone, what we really mean is "I want you," or "I want something from you" not "I love you."
Love isn't an exchange or a contract. Love is not about someone else fulfilling our expectations. This idea that the person we love needs to behave in a certain way, that they need to reciprocate or otherwise earn our love to deserve it, is not actual love.
Other people's love isn't our business. This one can feel confusing because it's so different from the usual way of thinking. In reality, our business is limited to what we can control, and we can't control someone else's feelings. The way someone feels is always about them and not about you, therefore it is their business and not yours.
Love isn't meant for gain. Most of us engage in romantic love to get something in return. Maybe we want to feel secure, to feel validated, to feel taken care of, or to feel that there is someone for us to take care of.
Soo Young's response to Sang Su's question: Are You Happy…. Was startling to Sang Su: Should I break up with Jong Hyun?
It was her almost begging him to help her correct the mistake she has made. Seeing his hesitation to answer she poses the same question to him and he continues to do what he normally does and remains silent.
Through out the frustrating interactions in the first 8 episodes they did manage to have some scenes that showed their romantic playfulness…In episode 1…. Soo Young seeing Sang Su prepping himself for her big arrival….. playfully tells him she can't make it just to see his reaction.
In Episode 9 …..Soo Young again has some fun with him telling him by saying the water is warm and that he should join her knowing that it's cold and how he would react. She saw how much he really liked her when placing steamed silk worms in his mouth with his face showing how much he disliked it.
Sang Su's attitude of go along to get along begins to come to a breaking point when Mi Kyung's form of love is to spend money lavishly with $5000 suits and new $100,000 luxury car as gifts for just being her boyfriend. Sang Su's love can't be bought….. he rejects the car and Mi Kyoung feels that she is being rejected….. the irony Mi Kyoung doesn't realize that what she despises her father for she does the same thing…. Throwing money at a problem is the solution to every problem.
Soo Young doesn't realize that her helping hand to help Jong Hyun get out of the financial hole he's in actually demoralizes him making him feel that he is useless….. His once promising dreams that everything will get better begins to turn into a nightmare of no confidence nor drive. He looses his will to stand on his own two feet. Being a man's Sugar Momma works for gigiloes but those with any self esteem it's a relationship killer.
What Is the Difference Between Love and Relationship?
The difference between love and a relationship can be summed up in one word: commitment. Love is an emotion that can be felt by anyone, while a relationship is a bond between two people that requires commitment.
Mi Kung has become a master manipulator in trying to get Sang Su to form a permanent commitment to her. Each time she brings the subject of engagement or marriage he deflects and changes the subject. Her confidence that she only needed 1% of his attention to close the deal has turned to sadness and anxieties. …When you're in love with someone, you may feel like you would do anything for them, but that doesn't mean you're automatically in a relationship with them. To be in a relationship, you must be willing to commit to the other person and do the work necessary to make the relationship work.
Soo Young Though she says she prefers defined relationrelationships...she is very afraid to commit especially to someone she loves….. Ep inside 14 was her ultimate fear to commit as she told Sang Su at the beach… she would rather destroy the sand castles that she's built with her own hands ... than having someone else destroying and having her worrying about it.
Love is often confused with infatuation or lust, but they aren't the same thing. Infatuation means you are attracted to a person's looks or personality, while lust means you are only interested in sex. Love is much more than that; it is an emotion that comes from the heart and involves feelings of caring, affection, and intimacy.
A relationship requires work from both sides for it to be successful. You must be willing to compromise and put your partner's needs above your own. This isn't always easy, but it's worth it if you want to have a strong, healthy relationship.
If you're just looking for something casual, a relationship may not be right for you. Love can be fun and exciting, but it also takes work to make it last. If you're not ready for that, you may choose to date or hook up. But if you're looking for something more serious, then a relationship is worth pursuing.
Soo Young fell in love with Sang Su at first sight, but wouldn't let him know it until Episode 11. Though Sang Su made it known to her that he likes her and was even considering marriage if only she would've given him a positive response... His inability to express himself was his biggest downfall… While Soo Young's unwillingness to show or tell of her feelings continue to keep her at a stall from ever moving forward in any kind of loving relationship.
Love Can Be Felt for Someone You Don't Know Very Well, While a Relationship Is Built on Trust and Familiarity When it comes to love, there doesn't have to be a strong familiarity or trust between the two people for it to blossom. Sometimes love can even be sparked in moments when there is little or no interaction. It is a feeling you can feel for someone you have never met before, or for someone you have known for a long time.
This is often because love is an emotion based on how we feel, not what we know. So if we see someone only briefly, but feel a strong connection to him/her and are drawn to them, then that can be called love.
Relationships, on the other hand, are based on trust and familiarity. This is because, for a relationship to work, both parties must be able to trust each other and feel comfortable around the other.
This usually happens over time as the two people get to know each other better and develop a mutual understanding. So while love can happen quickly, it usually takes longer for a relationship to develop and build.
Love Is About Feeling Good, While Relationships Are About Giving and Taking Being in love brings a feeling of joy and happiness into our lives and we can't help but smile when we think of the person we love. It's a feeling we experience when we're with someone we care about and feel connected to. Love is often about positive feelings – it makes us happy, feels good, and is something we want to experience as often as possible.
Relationships are different. They are about giving and taking. We give the other person our time, energy, and love, and expect them to do the same for us in return. Relationships are based on reciprocity – both sides have to make an effort to be successful.
When you give, you put the other person first and try to make them happy. This may mean doing something for them, listening to them, or just being there for them. It's important to remember that everyone is different and what makes one person happy doesn't have to make another happy. You need to find out what the other person wants and then do your best to give it to him or her.
When you take something, you think about what you want and need in the relationship. You also think about how the other person feels about things. You don't just go along with what the other person wants, but make sure you're both happy. You may have to compromise sometimes, but it's worth it if you want to have a healthy and happy relationship.
Love Is a Feeling, While Relationships Are Based on Actions Love is a feeling that is often described as uncontrollable. It is a feeling that comes from the heart. It can't be forced or faked, and it touches people in different ways. Some people feel love as a strong sense of affection, while others feel it more as a passionate feeling. But no matter how it is felt, love always often brings happiness and joy to people's lives.
When it comes to relationships, actions speak louder than words. What does this mean? It means that both people must be actively involved in a relationship for it to work. It's not enough to simply love each other – both of you must also make an effort for the relationship to work. This includes communicating with each other, spending time together, and being there for each other when needed.
It's not enough to just say you love someone, you also have to show them that you love them. That means listening when they talk and supporting them in good times and bad.
If you are not willing to put in the effort, your relationship may not last. Relationships are based on actions in the sense that the way we interact with others determines the kind of relationship we have with them. Our actions can be based on our feelings for the other person or based on our own goals.
Love Is Unconditional, While Relationships Have Conditions Love is often described as unconditional. This means that love is not based on anything in particular. It is not dependent on what the other person does or does not do. It is simply there and always present. This can be a difficult concept to understand, especially if we are used to conditional love from our families or friends However, when we let go of our need for conditions and simply accept love for what it is, we can begin to experience true intimacy and connection. When we can give and receive love unconditionally, it may even heal old wounds and help us move forward in our lives.
Episode 14 showed how Sang Su was willing to give his love unconditionally where as Soo Young held on to her old wounds and tried to destroyed with her own hands the love that was given her. Soo Young was so frustrated with Sang Su 's unconditional love
Soo Young: Why are you following me….and why are you smiling ….. Why won't you ask me anything?… I know your curious…. I know your angry and that you despise me….Everyone's been bad mouthing me and want answers… but why aren't you the least bit curious?….. How could you be so indifferent?
Part of Soo Young's healing process will be the understanding that love is unconditional … whether she learns if from her mother and father or from Sang Su who refuses to let go of his love for her.
Love Is Selfless, While Relationships Can Be Selfish Love is selfless because it always puts others first. It is the desire to see others happy and fulfilled, even if that means sacrificing your own happiness. Love is never about selfishness or greed; it is always about giving and serving others.
When you love someone, you are willing to do anything for him or her, no matter what it costs you. You put their needs and happiness above your own and are always willing to go the extra mile for him or her. This is what makes love so beautiful and special – it's a selfless act of pure kindness and compassion.
One could argue that relationships can be selfish in the sense that one partner often puts his or her own needs above those of his or her partner.
Ahn In Jae soo Young's father held on to a secret until Soo Young finaly heard the truth about her father's cheating... When she learned that the day she saw her father at the other woman's house... wasn't that he was cheating... he was their to protect his wife who was the cheater, not her father... he was willing to do anything including taking the blame.
When Soo Young asked him why did he do it... he responded: When you love someone...You can't stop.
It took 15 episodes for Soo Young to understand how misguided and unforegiving she has become.
There are a few reasons why relationships can be selfish:
People may stay in a relationship even if they're not happy because they don't want to be alone.
They may also stay in a relationship to benefit from the other person's resources – whether it's money, time, or emotional support.
Some people may also stay in a relationship because they're afraid of being single or don't know how to be on their own.
Soo Young's relationship with Kyung Hyun was selfless compassion in wanting to provide him with the opportunity to better himself so that his choices could be different
Soo Young: Do you regret moving in with me?….. You're right about the veranda…I wouldn't have cleared it out if I lived alone… You were part of the reason, but why is that a bad thing?…. If I were in your situation wouldn't you have done the same for me?…. Would you have just sat and watched as I struggled?
Soo Young's Father:…. She's kind and warmhearted …. She'd rather get hurt than see other's in pain.
The cliff hanger in Episode 14 turned Soo Young into psychotic heartless bitch that didn't care who she hurt. The writers did a masterful job in the Bait and Switch with episode 14 being the ultimate in deception let alone bringing this series to it's final conclusion in episodes 15 and 16. They deliberately want the viewers to keep guessing since previews weren't shown. They have made it clear that nothing is as what it appears to be, they have provided clues as to where they're headed. So why did Soo Young do it knowing that she would hurt the one she loves and the one she felt sorry for? After the" Kiss "she realized that Sang Su's love for her was very real and he didn't care what would happen to him, so she had to make him doubt his love for her and stop coming after her. She felt their love will doom his future career opportunities … she loved him to much to let that happen.
Soo Young answers why she did what she did in episode 14 was stated at the end of episode 16
Soo Young : There was no more to give and their was no more to receive... She was so stuck in her ways she nowhere else to go.
As far as Kyung Hyun she was forced to make him see that he was as unhappy as she was….. their coming together was a mistake from the beginning… being compassionate for someone is not loving them the way they deserve….. their relationship didn't fit each other….. her heart was always with Sang Su.
The Lying Game could easily be played out with Kyung Pil being a willing accomplice. He willingly slept with Mi Kyung's best friend so that she would get angry and leave him because he wasn't suitable for her family.
The message that Soo Young sent Kyung Pil : Can you meet me for a drink ...
was allowed to be seen by Sang Su with the picture of the Sand Castle still standing… This was to make Sang Su angry knowing that she is deliberately destroying their " Sand Castle".
To Complete their mascaraed of deceit Kyung Pil answered Soo Young's phone …. making Jong Hyun realize that she was with him . Hanging up on him was the ultimate betrayal of whatever relationship they had… she didn't need to explain it to him. The hotel room was simply the stage for their performance …..the bank was where their final curtain call would be played out.
What both Soo Young and Kyung Pil didn't realize was that Sang Su's love was too " Profound" and he didn't believe it, even after he hesitated a bit.
Sang Su though devastated that Soo Young left without saying a word, he does however, understand her….. she has been sending signals that she has been planning this. Her fears that Sang Su would become another Yang … disgraced and humiliated because of the love he couldn't let go weighed heavy on her mind. The day she was forced to serve coffee to Sang Su and Mi Kyung seated in front of Mi Kyung's father along with her cousin ….. the director of the bank , and Mr Yook …..what chances does Sang Su ever have of getting promoted if he breaks up with Mi Kyung because of her. Was their love worth the price that Sang Su will ultimately pay and will he eventually regret her later on. Soo Young decided that she would rather live without Sang Su than live with him and see the pain he will eventually have later on.
In every relationship especially a romantic one each person has a choice….Soo Young's inability to understand Sang Su's love for her has brought her to this apex of destruction not only for herself but also Sang Su. Sang Su is now forced to come to a decision…. is his love for Soo Young worth the uncertainties and frustration he will endure healing her or should he simply let her go and treat this as a learning experience of a love that wasn't meant to be. The original promotional video ended with Sang Su saying : " I gave my heart to someone I shouldn't have" …. Sang Su's reality is Soo Young is not ready to receive his love since she doesn't believe that she deserves it …..yet " The Kiss" showed him the love that is locked up in her heart…. She displayed as much passion as he did for her. How does he mend this broken heart of hers ?
The questions he asks himself… does he leave her be and let her learn to love herself… which she clearly needs to do or does he become her teacher in showing her what it means to love someone unconditionally , because that is how love should be….. giving and receiving love with out conditions , without attachments , thus two people truely become one in their love for each other.
All the heart breaking of opportunities missed between Sang Su and Soo Young were answered in Episode 16 with the What if questions
Sang Su: What if I hadn't turned away?… What if I had been open and honest?… What if I had told you not to run away again?… What if I had asked you to come back with me?
Soo Young : What if I had waited a bit longer?….. What if I had been honest?… What If I had said That I loved you too?
They even imagined what their life would have been like if they had allowed themselves to be what they wanted to be.
Sang Su : In that case how do you think thing's would've changed
Soo Young: We might have gotten married… and had a baby
Sang Su: and fight at times?
Soo Young: Right…. We would've been working parents…. So we would've argued about stuff like, who would drop off the kid at daycare….. and that could've eventually led to divorce
Sang Su: You always imagine the worst…There's also the possibility that we could've made up… and lived happily ever after
oo Young: I guess so….. But even in our imaginations there's nothing very special
Sang Su: Isn't that what love is? … Two people going through everyday life together Sang Su and Soo Young turn and face each other realizing that they are at another pivotal moment in their lives and their relationship.
As with every episode the script writer end the series with their final thoughts
Sang Su: We were once a part of each other's lives….
Soo Young: We fell for each other… our hearts skipped for each other Sang Su: We were foolish….. All the moments that we regretted made us long for each other
Soo Young: During those times we were actually in Love
Sang Su: Or were we blinded by the Interest of Love?
As powerful the message this series brought to the screen the writers of this series did it an injustice with the Series ending... It was luke warm, feel good, however but not very satisfying since they delibertely brought so much angst and depression and taking away the hope of what love should bring .
Alternative Ending to Episode 16
I don't like this kind of wishy washy kind of an ending …..Sang So and Soo Young have so much pent up frustrations and this story is far from ending... This is how episode 16 should of ended As those eyes that have told this story continue to stare at each other and they resume their walk up up Oblivion Hill. Their hesitation that has brought them to this point slowly begins lesson now that they are being honest with each other… Sang Su takes his right hand out of his coat pocket and lets it brush against Soo Young's hand that is still in her pocket. She always wanted to walk hand in hand with Sang Su ….. she removes her hand from her pocket and lets her fingers clench to his and they continue to walk. Sang Su smiles .
Soo Young: These pork cutlets better be as good as you said they were…. We've walked this hill now three times… the reward better be as good as the effort.
Sang Su: trust me ….. you won't be disappointed Soo Young: Are you sure it's open… remember that last time Sang Su: I called ahead….. I wasn't taking any chances
Soo Young smiles and squeezes his hand showing her approval
They finally reach the top of Oblivian hell and then enter the restaurant
Soo Young: I'll let you order since I ordered for you in Tongyeong
Sang Su : You still remember… do want them with the marinara sauce like Tongyeong or plain with lemon
Soo Young : You remember too….. which do you prefer?
Sang Su orders a plate of each along with two glasses of wine
Sang Su: This may not be that fancy wine that you like, but it goes well with the pork cutlets.
Soo Young: Is there anything that you haven't forgotten
Sang Su: When it comes to you… absolutely nothing… that's why these past four years have been so difficult for me….. I pretended to be over you but I couldn't
Tears begin to show in Soo Youngs eyes: I so sorry I did all those nasty things to you….. there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of you….. but then I would think….. I messed up your life up to that point ….. how could you ever have forgiven me… so I just learned to live with my regrets.
Sang Su: Is that why you painted every place that we had our moments together
Soo Young: You noticed… Painting each of those scenes brought me comfort and some peace of mind…. By doing it I could have you with me just for a little while before I started dwelling on how foolish and misguided I was… My paintings in away helped me understand myself
The plates of cutlets are served along with more wine….. Soo Young takes her first bite….. as she chews she stares at Sang Su
Sang Su: What's with that look… there not that good
Soo Young smiles: You're still so easy to get a reaction out of… no they are very tasty.
They finish dinner and go out to the car…. Sang Su opens the door and then says: I can't wait any longer…..He cups Soo Youngs face and goes in for his passionate kiss ….Once his lips touch hers Soo Young no longer hesitates on begins passionately kissing him back …As they continues kissing as though they are the only ones there….
A voice could be heard: Go get a room
Sang Su: I'm sorry
Soo Young: I'm not….. I've never seen your place … I think we have some unfinished business to attend to.
Once they arrive inside Sang Su's apartment… Their lips are once again locked on each other and they both begin taking the others cloths off… it's been four since they made love in the Tongyeoung guest house. With only her bra and panties left Sang Su picks her up and carries her to his bed. He unsnaps her bra exposing those beautiful round breasts that show her excitement in that her nipples are protruding and they are begging for Sang Su's lips to adore them. He slides her panties down her long model like legs exposing her neatly trimmed pubic hairs and that vaginal mind that he has never forgotten.
Soo Young: Sang Su I do love you….. I never stopped loving you ….. show me what I've missed…. Love me.
Sang Su lays on top of her and begins kissing those sexy pouty lips that know how to kiss him back. Her hands caress his head as her fingers flow through his hair. Her breathing becomes deeper and harder … she moves her hands down to his ass cheeks and pulls them tightly against so that she can grind her vagina against his very hard penis. Sang Su lowers his head and begins sucking and licking each nipple making Soo Young squeal with pleasure with each lick and little bites of her nipples. He has missed her vagina ….. his fingers begin twirling and messaging her clitoris making her jerk slightly with each touch.
Soo Young: Sang Su…. Sweet Heart make this night special
Sang Su spreads her legs and brings his head so that his tongue can lick and message her clitoris and vaginal lips. He sucks on her clitoris and then gives it little bites making her jerk as though she is having an orgasm. When she is ready to have a full orgasm she pulls his head tightly against her vagina as she lets go and has one orgasm after another. Not willing to let up on her ….. he pulls himself up and places his very erect penis against her vaginal opening.
Looking into her eyes he gives a hard thrust deep inside her making her gasp and moan. How she has missed him being inside her. His thrusting continues both hard and soft ….. Soo Young passion is at it's highest peek. Not wanting him to do all the work she rolls him over and straddles him. She begins rocking and grinding her vagina against him….. he continues pushing in and out of her. She senses that she is at orgasm level….. she lowers her head and begins kissing Sang Su and biting on his lips as she begins tightlen her stomach muscles and then she squeezes her thighs another his legs and has another multiple orgasm. Seeing Soo Youngs body in an almost helpless state…. He arches his back and pushes deep inside as he releases his hot semen giving her even more pleasure that she has satisfied her man.
She Gives him a kiss as she lays on his chest... as they both let each other come down from this high that has waited four years to reach it. As they lay in each other arms Sang Su's mind has been racing with thoughts that he thought could never come to be.
Sang Su: Soo Young…. I know that this is only our first night and we haven't even said that we're even a couple, but I want this to be permanent…. I love you …. I can't love anyone else in this world as long as you live in it….. we've waisted almost 8 years loving each other from a far….. I can't do that anymore…. I want us to be a family, I want us to get married , have that baby or babies ….. I want us to have that ordinary life ….. and please don't think about what could go wrong… just think of all that goes right ….. we belong together… everything we've gone through and survived … we need each other. ….. Will you please marry me?
Soo Young: you certainly know how to propose… How can I say no….. Yes I marry you…. Lets rest a little….. before we continue
They make love again and they both sleep comfortably in each others arms. This series has been filled with more heartaches and anxieties than any love story could endure… now that they have learned their lessons in understanding what love is…..
The major lesson that has brought Sang Su and Soo Young to this place in this journey called love can be summarize with this quote from one of my favorite writer and painter Kahlil Gibran
No human relation gives one possession in another…
Every two souls are absolutely different.
In friendship or in love, the two side by side
raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.
They will need more lessons on how to love which will be coming in the next chapter or chapters.