Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or Canada (that would be so cool if I did! Because then all of the Canadian bacon would be mine! Muahahahaha!)
"Hey Bella! Guess what!" cried Emmett.
"What?" asked Bella.
"I'm starting a war on Canada!" he exclaimed.
"What!? Canada, NO! Where do you think I get my special Canadian bacon?" exclaimed Bella.
"Um… the grocery store?" asked Emmett.
"Ugh! You really are an idiot! Where does the grocery store get it's bacon?" asked Bella.
"Ooh! I know! Little piggies!" cried Emmett.
"You stupid little son of a… woo, hah, calm Bella, okay. Where does the grocery store get the little piggies?" asked Bella trying not to attack Emmett so as not to injure herself.
"I know. Farms." answered Emmett.
"NO! YOU GET THE FREAKIN' BACON FROM FREAKIN' CANADA!" yelled Bella, "THAT"S WHY IT"S CALLED FREAKIN' CANADIAN BACON, YOU MORON!"
"Is someone PMSing?" asked Emmett.
"EDWARD! I NEED SOME HELP WITH EMMETT!" yelled Bella.
"What is it love?" asked Edward as he entered the living room.
"Just knock some sense into him." answered Bella.
"I don't think that's possible." said Edward.
"Damn! Well, can you at least torture him anyway?" asked Bella.
"Sure thing love. Emmett! I have a surprise for you!" called Edward.
"Yay!" cried Emmett as Edward guided him outside.
BANG CRASH KABOOM! OW! Ahhhhhhhh!
"Thank you Edward!" called Bella from the living room.
"Anytime." he answered walking through the front door.
"Ahem, Edward. I do believe you are forgetting something." said Bella.
"Oh, right. ESME! CLEAN UP ON ISLE FOUR!" called Edward.
"Oh no, not again. I'll get the mop." sighed Esme as she headed outside to survey the damage.
How did you like that? Big thanks to Mc Foofoo for her help on all of my stories. I don't know what I would do without her. (This message is for MC Foofoo only, so just ignore it: I know I didn't get your edited draft of my story back. I guess that means you liked it right? Or did you not get it yet? Oh well.)