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"I'm just going to the store; I'll be back soon" I called to Edward

We arrived at the Cullen house; I noted that it was as scary as ever. Esme was in the living room when we entered.

"Bella!" she exclaimed before pulling me into a bone crushing hug; I didn't mind though, I totally hugged back. When she pulled away she noticed Ali, who was cowering behind my legs.

"And who is this little one?" she asked kindly.

"This little one is starving. Would you mind awfully if I cooked something for her in your kitchen?" I asked knowing the answer before I even asked the question.

Esme said that it was no problem and they all followed me out to the kitchen, when we got to the dining room I got an idea. Ali didn't need to see the upcoming questioning so she had to be kept occupied.

"Sweetie, why don't you colour me a picture?" I suggested as I led her over to the chair. I took crayons and paper out of my bag (I was prepared for every eventuality!) and sat her on a chair.

"I'll be just through here" I pointed to the kitchen "call me if you need me." With that I left her colouring and talking happily to herself.

I started to cook pasta while Esme and Alice threw questions at me.

"So how have you been dear? You look dreadfully thin and tired." Esme began in her usual motherly fashion. I sighed inwardly, I would have to lie to them; I didn't want to upset them.

"I've been good, well actually I've been nursing a broken heart for three years which, I know, is my own fault so I won't bore you with the details." I answered.

Without acknowledging the answer, Alice moved onto the next question. "Where exactly have you been?"

"LA mostly, moved to Florida for a while, but now I'm back in LA"

"Are you working, do you have enough money to have a decent place to live?"

"I'm working crèche. Pay is good. Well good enough for me to rent a three bedroom apartment with a kitchen, living room, and bathroom; with a little financial aid from my parents."

The questioned went on and on until Carlisle came into the kitchen.

"Bella! Hey, you look great. There's a cute girl in our dining room! Who is she?" I couldn't help but smile at his bluntness.

"Yes, who is she?" Alice demanded "I think this is the third time you've been asked, I look forward to a colourful answer!"

"Well, she's my-" I began but I was cut off by a piercing scream form the dining room "Mommy?"

I dropped everything and moved quicker than any vampire, to get to my baby. As soon as I walked into the door.

The three looming figures of Edward, Emmett and Jasper were standing in the other doorway. My heart jumped when I saw them; again I could only imagine how my three year old viewed them. I didn't acknowledge their presence, though I did see their shocked reactions to my appearance.

I dropped to my knees and Ali ran into my arms. "Shhh, mommy's here. Its alright baby, mommy's here" I whispered over and over again until she calmed down. Her tears stopped but she refused to pull away from me. Her little hands were firmly clamped around my neck and her head was buried in my chest. I lifted her off the ground, holding him close.

"These" I explained to my baby "are friends of mommy's. They won't hurt you, I promise." My voice was no more than a whisper but I knew that everyone could hear me. Alice, Esme and Carlisle had followed me in. All eyes were on me; well actually all eyes were on my daughter, only one pair was focused on my.

I finally had the courage to meet them.

"Edward, I am so sorry, I am so so so sorry. I was an idiot. I totally understand if you want me out of your house" I gushed.

"Bella?" he sounded as if he was questioning my sanity.

"Guess what Edward" Alice chirped "I was at the store today and guess who turned up?"

But Edward wasn't listening; he was gazing into my eyes, lost in time.

"Crap, the pasta" I muttered. My first instinct was to drop Ali into Edward's arms.

"Mommy will be right back" I said in an assuring way, but I wasn't sure which one of them I was assuring.

"Bella, you can't just leave your child with me" he shouted after me, a twinge of anger in voice.

"Your child you idiot" I muttered to myself. Everything froze behind me; they'd heard. I continued into the kitchen pretending that nothing had happened. He didn't follow as I expected. It was so weird to be wandering around this house without Edward constantly at my side.

Tears welled up in my eyes but I quickly brushed them away. I was not going to let myself fall apart.

"Bella" a soft voice brought me back to the present "are you okay". I brushed the remnants of tears away before I answered.

"I'm fine Alice. It's just that…being so close to him is hard.

Alice waited for me to elaborate.

"I know I cant expect him to forgive me and I know that he shouldn't. But I would give anything for none of the last three years to have happened, I love my daughter, obviously but I love Edward too. I cant possibly choose" I kept my voice even, three years of practice had thought me to suppress my feelings.

"Then don't choose?" Alice suggested.

"Alice, I know better than most the risks of living with vampires. I am not putting my daughter in that position. And if it comes down to a choice between my happiness and Ali's safety, Ali wins every time."

Alice was distracted for a moment "Ali?" she asked beaming.

I nodded and continued disregarding the interruption. "I know that everyone of you would help me look after Ali if given the chance but the risk to her safety is just too colossal."

Comprehension dawned on Alice's face, before her eyes flashed. "That's why you left? You didn't trust us not to kill your baby?" she sounded disgusted.

"That's not fair" I argued "I know that no-one would hurt her on purpose but accidents happen" my mind flashed to Jasper.

"So after all the times we risked everything for you're safety, that's the way you view us? A threat to your child?"

I didn't want to hear this. I knew that I'd hurt them but Ali had to be my number one priority. I went out to the living room to get my child, so that we could go home. She was nestled in Edwards's arms but I had to disturb her. I scooped her up and turned to leave.

"Where are we going Mommy?" Ali asked with round eyes; her innocent curiosity winning through.

"We're going to go back to Charlie's and first thing tomorrow we are going home would. Would you like that?" I asked fighting the tears.

She shook her head "I want to stay here" she folded her small arms defiantly.

"So do I baby. But some time grown ups have to do things we don't want. It really sucks but sometimes its for the best." I attempted to explain to my three year old. She had to pause to think of a suitable retort.

"Mommy's being silly" she giggled.

"Yes, Mommy's being very silly" I agreed "Come on lets go"

I had almost forgotten the presence of the Cullen's, until a cold hand clasped my arm. I knew who it was before I looked up.

"Edward let me go please" I murmured, half wanting him to refuse but he did as he was told.

"Its up to you" he said resignedly "I just thought that maybe we should talk."

I avoided his eyes, knowing that the second I met them my resolve would melt. Instead I met Alice's gaze stony.

"I don't think I'm welcome here at the moment."

There was a general grumble of disagreement but Alice's expression didn't change.

"What did you say to her?" Edward snarled.

Ali got a fright and went visibly pale.

"See Alice, this is what I mean" I attempted to explain to her but she wasn't going to back down.

"he doesn't mean to scare her he's just protecting you"" she stated. She glanced on Edward "For some unknown reason" she said under her breath, but load enough for me to hear.

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.

"Three years ago, Bella you walk out on us" she argued. "You haven't made any contact or…anything. A note would have been enough to convince us that you were okay. But we have all been worried sick; this was, undoubtedly, the longest three years of my existence.

"If it's been like that for me, think what it had been like for Edward. You know that, Jasper tells me everything; the stuff Edward's been feeling…it's been horrific. I won't go into it now; Carlisle and Esme don't know about it and it would upset them to hear it.

"But I always figured that you had a good reason for leaving and putting my brother through all that. Now I hear that you left us because you thought that your baby would be in mortal danger if you stayed here. I know you've got reasons for that, I really do understand" I saw her eyes flicker to the scar that was clearly visible on my forearm; a constant reminder of my disastrous eighteenth birthday. "But we do control ourselves. You have no idea how hard it is for us right now while you and Ali are with us. But no-one's getting hurt."

Subconsciously, my arms tightened around Ali; Alice noticed and laughed bitterly. "Maybe Ali's safety isn't the major reason why you aren't coming home. I know that you have a wonderful new life in LA; in the sun; and you're glamorous apartment; wonderful friends; great job and whatever else you have. But if you really loved us none of that would matter."

I sighed, time for the truth. I put Ali on the ground and she immediately she started amusing herself. I smiled down at her; she was, as always, infinitely cute.

"Alice do you know what one of the first things I learnt when I became a mother? You have to be a good liar." I smiled at her "I have become a relatively good liar. Well I lie well enough to fool my gullible three year old daughter…and you apparently."

"Pardon?" she asked, obviously not following.

"When you and Esme were asking me questions earlier, the answers you got were downright lies" she was dumbstruck, so I continued. "My luxury three bedroom apartment, that's actually a five floor walk-up over an Indian Takeaway. Try dragging a pushchair up that every day, on the plus side I now have upper body strength!

"My well paid job in the crèche? Yeah right! There isn't a name for the job I do; they gave it to me out of pity. Do you have any idea how humiliating that is? I get paid next to nothing for it. So I have to rely on my parents to give me whatever they can.

"I can't be too demanding they are my parents and would give me anything but they have lives to live too. So I only accept the bare minimum, which is just enough to feed and cloth my baby and pay rent.

"So what did I do for myself? Do I buy myself nice clothes? No, I can't afford it. Do I go out shopping every other day? No, I can't afford it. Do I go out with friends at the weekends? No, because I cant afford it!

"So Alice that is my wonderful new life. Or at least a little extract; the life of a single mother in LA" tears dribbled down my cheeks even though I did my utmost to keep them trapped. "Do you still think it's my perfect life that it's my 'perfect' life that's keeping me away?"

"Bella, I had no idea" Alice put her hand over mine, trying to soothe me.

"How could you have?" I pulled my hand away from hers and turned to Esme, I really didn't want to dwell on it.

"May I trespass on your hospitality for a few more minutes? The pasta is cooked now and it would be a shame to waste it. I'll feed her in the kitchen and I'll be gone in ten minutes." I wasn't going to stay around longer than that, I had caused too much pain here; I wasn't going to add to it!

"Of course Bella honey, but-"

"Thanks Esme" I cut across her "Come on Ali darling, dinner time" I took her hand and led her away from the Cullen's.

I know it was kinda long but I hope you liked!!

Thank You so much for reading!!

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