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A/N: This chapter is from Edward's point of view…in an attempt to stop it getting too boring and to lengthen the story. But yes that does mean that this is not the last chapter!!
A/N 2: This starts before Jacob comes to visit. It's when Edward goes to look after Ali!
A/N 3: I found it hard to write this chapter; constructive criticism more than welcome!! :)
Seeing Bella in the bed in that state brought so many feelings back, but a million times stronger than before. I had no idea that I could feel that strongly about anyone, even my darling Bella. I can only imagine what Jasper would say if he was around, well I have a feeling it would go something like this: "whipped".
I was almost glad when I was given the chance to leave the room. Okay, it was really tough to leave my Bella; I felt like I was being torn apart, like a part of me was in that hospital bed suffering. But on the other hand I knew it would help Bella more if I was with Ali.
I wasn't needed in Ali's room. Esme and Alice were fantastic with Ali and they seemed at ease in each others company. Ali kept throwing furtive glances in my direction; she was obviously uncomfortable in my presence. I saw the same look in her eyes as I had often seen in Bella's eyes; utter barefaced fear.
I watched from a corner as Alice read her a book and Esme brushed her hair. Everyone seemed so relaxed. Well until Alice and Esme decided that they needed to go see Bella. This was, in theory, totally acceptable. The only predicament was someone needed to stay with and mind Ali, i.e. me!
As my lifelines left me, Ali gazed up at me indignantly.
"Where's Mommy? I don't like to be with him without Mommy." She thought, obviously distraught.
Joy, I was with a three year old who didn't want to be with me.
"So…um…want me to read you a book?" I offered, totally out of my depth.
She folded her little arms and shook her head in determinedly. "I want to…to…colour with my crayons."
Crap, I had no crayons. How would I sway her, she seemed to have made her mind up. But honesty is the best policy right? I feebly attempted to explain that there were no crayons and that she could colour later. I tried to speak in the same reasoning tone that Bella had done and I did my utmost not to be intimidating. Apparently I failed miserably.
Her lower lip began to quiver; tears welled up in her hazel eyes. Okay, so I had to find her crayons. I hurried out to the nurse's station, and begged to use any crayons that they had. It being a Children's Ward there were crayons in abundance. I brought them back to Ali.
"They're not my crayons" she said, with what sounded like disgust.
"I know Ali, but at the moment that's the best I can do" I was almost pleading with her. I was anxious to look after her properly, for Bella, but she was being difficult on purpose. I knew that for certain, I could read her mind after all.
Again she folded her arms. "My head hurts" she stated. This was not a complaint just a statement of fact.
I gazed at her pityingly. It was only then I realised what I was looking at; an injured, frightened, worried three year old who wanted nothing more than to be with her mother. And all she got was me. Okay, so there was a minute chance that I was her father but that was about the only tie we had. She didn't know me and I intimidated her. This wasn't at all fair on her.
I sat on the edge of her bed. "What if I tell you a story instead? But not from a book?" I suggested gently.
She nodded her head, her eyes brightening considerably. "He won't be as good as Mommy. No-one is as good as Mommy" she thought. I couldn't help but smile; at least we had one common opinion.
I started telling her about when I first saw Bella; when I first talked to Bella; when I first realised that I was under her spell with no escape; when I first realised that I didn't want to escape. I told her the memories that I had been clinging to for the last three years, the only thoughts that kept me sane. Most of this was too complex for a three year old to comprehend but even she was able to recognize true love.
"You should tell Mommy that story" she suggested brightly.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, I think it would make her happy when she gets sad." Again this was just a simple statement of fact. Ali hadn't meant to denote anything by it, but she had.
I was eager to know more but Ali had already started colouring with the crayons that were not hers. She was busy humming to herself; Bella's lullaby.
I idly picked up the book Alice had been reading to her. It was something about a puppy that got lost in the snow and all she wanted to do was get beck to her mother; get back to safety.
Bella was watching me carefully while feigning interest in Ali's babbling. Ali was propped up on Bella's lap; it was the first time in ages that she had been out of my arms and out of my care. To my horror I felt like something was missing.
"You okay Bella?" I asked quietly.
She nodded, still watching me, with a crease in her forehead. She was trying to hide the fact that she was bursting with questions but I knew her well enough to read that in her face. I wanted to ask her what was on her mind but I got the feeling that I really didn't want to talk about whatever it was. She would, of course, want to know about my supposed depression but as far as I was concerned there was nothing to talk about. She left…I hadn't been happy…I'd been a little bit idiotic and acted rashly…but Carlisle helped me get over it.
I got shivers down my spine as I remembered the red eyes gazing back at me when I looked in the mirror. Bella did not need to know about that, I refused to scare her like that. I didn't want to think about that now but I knew that she would force me to, eventually.
"Are you sure you are okay, Bella?" I repeated. No-one had stared at me so avidly in a while and it was a little unnerving.
"I'm fine" she assured me. "Was Ali good while you were looking after her? I know she can be a handful" she asked, subtly changing the subject.
"It was…an experience, Bella." I answered truthfully. I had enjoyed my time with Ali but I had a feeling that babysitting wasn't my calling.
"She behaved?" she asked uncertainly.
"Of course Bella, you have her well trained Bella."
"Why do you keep saying my name?" she asked amused.
I hadn't realised I'd been putting her name into every sentence but, naturally, I had an answer on the tip of my tongue. "I haven't gotten a chance to say it in three years, and it almost killed me, figuratively speaking. So I want to make up for those missed chances. Is that okay with you?"
"That's just fine with me Edward" she responded, beaming at me
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