Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.
Spoilers: Through Season 5 up to Brainstorm.
11 – Just a Little Prodding
"So," Laura began once Jennifer had joined her at a table in the mess.
"What?" Jennifer asked while putting butter on her roll.
Cadman rolled her eyes, "How are you and the fierce warrior these days?"
"We're good; things have gotten a lot better." Jenn said absently while taking a bite of the roll.
Cadman reached across and pulled Jennifer's tray a few inches away to get her full attention. "That is not what I'm talking about. Have you kissed the man, slept with the man, moonlit walk on the pier…?"
"Shhhh," Jennifer interrupted Laura while looking around panicked. "What are you doing? People are going to hear you!"
Laura looked at her and Jenn wished that this conversation was happening any where but here. Laura probably planned it this way knowing she might get more out of her with the threat of embarrassment.
"That is not the kind of friendship we have," Jennifer hissed at the girl before pulling her tray back.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Jennifer hated for there to be strong words between the two of them. Laura was never here for very long and spending that time with tension between them would be awful.
"Let's finish eating and I'll take a break from the infirmary. I'm sure Dr. Cole can handle it for a while without me.
"So what is going on between you and Ronon?" Laura said the minute the door closed to Jennifer's quarters.
Jennifer knew this was going to be a serious conversation since Laura actually used Ronon's name.
"We are friends," Jennifer began, "actually we're closer friends then we have ever been."
"And you're," Laura pointed a finger at Jennifer, "more in love with him then you have ever been." she stated not sparing any words.
Jennifer began to protest but as she looked up at Laura all of the denial fled, "I know."
Laura was a little taken back; she expected a long drawn out conversation to get to this point. "You know?"
"I spend all day wondering when I'll see him next. Will there be a reason to sit next to him, hold his hand… remain in his presence." Jennifer threw herself down on her bed.
Laura walked over and joined her, "What are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know… I'd have to tell him I lied and explain why." Jennifer began fidgeting with her uniform jacket. "It's been a few months since he told Rodney he had intentions… and I panicked and told Ronon I was interested in someone else."
Jennifer laid her head back and starred at the ceiling, "What if during these months he has discovered he would rather just be my friend. I don't think I'd recover if he doesn't want me anymore." Jennifer stopped her rant long enough to look over at Laura. "I'm pathetic aren't I?"
"Yes you are," Laura agreed while lying back on the bed too.
"Thank you… best friend, I thought you were supposed to be my moral support, you know, build me up when I'm down." Jennifer complained.
"No, I'm suppose to be the best friend that let's you know when you're screwing up and frankly girlie, you're screwing up… big time. That big scary alien has a heart and feelings and deserves better then this."
"I don't know if I can face him," Jennifer quietly admitted.
"I know you can, and you'll dwell on it 'til you do, so you might as well get it over with. Besides, just think how much you'll enjoy kissing that hunk," Laura said while waggling her eyebrows at her.
Jennifer suddenly pushed Laura towards the edge of the bed, but Laura grabbed Jenn's arm to keep from going over. "If I go, you go."
"It would be worth it you big know it all." Jennifer tried to push Laura off the bed again, but to know avail, the Marine was just faster then her and before she knew what was happening she was on her back on the floor looking up at the gleeful woman leaning over the edge of the bed.
"How about I meet you back here for movies when we're both done with our shifts. I'll bring popcorn," Laura offered in lieu of a peace offering.
"OK, but it has to be a chick-flick this time, Cadman, or I'm kicking your Marine butt all the way back to the Daedalus."
"Yes, sir," Cadman saluted before helping Jennifer to her feet.
"Hey, you in your room?" Laura radioed Jennifer as she made her way down the hall towards the crew quarters later that night.
"Yeah, just got changed, you coming?" Jennifer answered back.
"Just going to pop some popcorn on the way." Laura responded.
While she was popping the first bag of popcorn Teyla walked in.
Laura began to laugh, "I just started the popping, how do you do that?"
Teyla grinned at Laura and raised her hand to display her own bag of popcorn to pop. "I was on my way here to pop my own bag of popcorn."
At that moment Ronon and Sheppard rounded the corner. "Cadman, this feels a little like dejavue. Movie night?" Sheppard asked.
"Appears to be, sir," Laura responded with a twinkle in her eye.
"And the movies… did you pick them out, or did Dr. Keller?" John asked with a bit of hope in his voice.
"Actually, the girl doesn't exactly trust me anymore, I had to swear to pick out chick-flicks, sir," Laura related with laughter in her voice.
Teyla's eyes lit up.
Laura looked at Teyla and grinned, "Your welcome to come, you probably don't get to watch many movies without violence in them… considering the company you keep."
"That would be wonderful, Lieutenant, thank you." Teyla agreed.
Sheppard looked at Laura like a hopeful puppy; "the guys are welcome," Cadman rolled her eyes, "wouldn't want to discriminate."
"Great, I'll be there in a couple of minutes," Ronon spoke for the first time as he nodded at Sheppard and left.
"Umm, sir?" Cadman started with a gleam in her eye, "Could we move the movie night to your room?"
Sheppard looked a little confused, "yeah… I guess… I'll go let Ronon know and meet you all there."
Cadman moved to step in front of Sheppard. "Lieutenant?" Sheppard asked in warning.
"Would you be ok with letting him figure it out, sir?" she asked with mischief in her demeanor.
Teyla grinned and stepped up to stand next to Laura, "He can bring Jennifer along once he has figured it out, John."
"And how long 'til I figure it out?" he asked knowing that he wasn't quite understanding the situation.
"Well, let's see," Cadman snickered, "you're a guy, so… I would say quite a while." Laura looked at Teyla and then back at Sheppard, "unless of course we give you a hint."
"I believe, Lieutenant, he may need several hints," Teyla smiled, "and lots of patience."
Sheppard watched the two women link arms and walk out, "hope it doesn't take the big guy too long to figure it out," Sheppard grumbled under his breath, "or this could be a very long chick flick."
"I don't think anyone else is going to show," Jennifer said nervously. Ronon had shown up about five minutes before and announced that Laura had invited the whole team over to watch a movie. Jennifer tried to reach Laura by com link, but Jennifer had a feeling her traitorous best friend was up to something.
"I guess not," Ronon agreed as he wandered around the room. "Maybe I should go find Sheppard and see what's taking so long."
"I'm sure Cadman had something to do with it," Jennifer complained.
Ronon looked at her with confusion written on his face.
"I think she thinks this way you and I will talk," awkwardly Jennifer tried to explain.
"About what?" he grunted.
Jennifer so didn't want to do this now; she had been looking forward to turning her brain off and watching a movie tonight. This was just pure torture and when she got her hands on Laura she would pay, but until then… no time like the present and all that.
"She is just my best friend and she wants me to be happy," Jennifer replied, then grumbled under her breath, "and obviously doesn't know when to mind her own business nor does she think I can kick her little Marine butt."
Ronon waited quietly, he knew the Doc would get around to it eventually. Something was apparently bothering her.
"I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but do you think Kiryk will find another runner?" Jennifer asked trying to change the subject.
"HHHope so," he said wondering where this was going, "but I'm still surprised he found Aeden."
Ronon watched Jennifer pacing the room; his heart went out to her knowing that whatever was bothering her, it was eating her up. He quickly tired of watching her tread back and forth; he walked over to her and grabbed her hand. "Let's go for a walk," he declared as he pulled her from her room.
"Oh…ok," Jenn said as she followed him down the hall, their hands still intertwined.
They walked in silence for a while, but Ronon never released her hand. When they finally came to a stop she found them standing in front of the darkened gym.
"You want to spar?" Jennifer asked more then a little confused.
"When I'm upset I come here and work out, it helps me relax." Ronon led them into the darkened room. He raised the lights just enough to cast shadows, but not enough to see clearly, then he shut the door to the gym.
"And the lighting?" she asked.
His mouth twitched in humor, "it might help you relax."
She grinned back at him, "This must be the male version of a hot, bubble bath by candlelight."
"Your version sounds more interesting, maybe we should try that next time," he said with his back to her so she'd be less embarrassed.
He still heard the catch in her breath before she laughed lightly, "Walked right into that one."
He turned to see her shaking her head. He took her hand and led her out to the middle of the mats. "With the lights this low you'll be concentrating more on sound and other senses… ready?"
And with that they spent the next hour sparring. For quite awhile Jennifer was able to keep herself upright, but after about forty minutes she found she was wearing out and spent a lot of time being hauled back up off the floor. Finally, after taking a leg sweep that did exactly what it was meant to do when it knocked her feet out from underneath her, she found herself looking up at the ceiling and decided she was done.
Ronon must have sensed it too because when he appear in her line of sight instead of offering his hand to help her up he offered her a bottle of water. She sat up long enough to take a long drag and then gave the bottle back before flopping back down on the mat.
She felt Ronon settle down beside her and when she looked over he too was laying on his back staring at the ceiling. He was far enough away that he wasn't touching her, but was still within reach if needed.
"What's bothering you, Doc." He asked quietly into the darkened room.
Jennifer found she was glad the lights were so low; it gave her a feeling of security. "If you could ask me any question and I had to answer truthfully, do you know what it would be?"
Ronon was a little surprised by the question, but shouldn't have been. This woman was constantly surprising him. "There are actually several I'd want to ask."
"What would one of them be?" Jennifer asked hoping to either delay what she needed to tell him, or jump start the conversation they needed to have.
"Is there someone else?"
It all came back to that she thought. "You already know the answer to that… don't you?"
"Yeah, but I need to hear it from you." He said into the dark.
"No, there is no one else." She sighed, "I'm sorry Ronon."
"Why?" came his soft voice.
"Well… umm… that's a hard one, I didn't know what to do and I panicked," she said, glad it was dark and would hide her face.
"Do you not like me, Jenn?" Ronon asked with a hint of dread in his voice.
Jennifer reached across the mat for his hand to reassure him, "Ronon, I like you…its just that…I was a little afraid when I heard you were interested in me too." She felt his body stiffen through the hand she was still holding.
She held on tighter to make sure he didn't move away. "You always tackle things head on, with such intensity and relentlessness. I didn't think I could handle being loved that way."
Jennifer released his hand and sat up to look at Ronon's face. She saw no anger in his features, just confusion. A war began in her head; bold CMO of Atlantis or fearful, inexperienced girl.
Jennifer took a deep breath, looked in Ronon's eyes for a moment hoping to gain a little courage and then laid back down on her back. But this time she laid with her head on Ronon's chest so their bodies made the letter 'T' while she stared at the ceiling.
Ronon's breath caught in his throat and he was afraid to shift or even breathe for fear she would move. He could lay like this all night with her and be completely happy. He wanted to understand what was going on in that beautiful head of hers and why he scared her, but he would be content for now with just this.
Ronon wasn't sure how long they laid like that, but eventually Jennifer began to speak.
"I told you I grew up in a hurry, skipped grades in school, didn't really have a social life, missed out on a lot." She paused and took a slow breath, "I was much younger then most of the people surrounding me in high school and college… what I mean to say is… I never really got around to dating or relationships. I was always too young and the non-cool choice and by the time I was older I didn't have time."
Ronon just let her talk, realizing she needed to tell him this, and he needed to try to understand what she was saying. He found his hands were playing absently with her hair laid out across his chest. She didn't seem to have noticed so he continued hoping it would soothe her as much as he was finding it calming.
"I found it very intimidating that my first real relationship would be with the most eligible bachelor on base as well as this fierce, force of nature that you are. You shouldn't have to deal with my insecurities or lack of sophistication when it comes to this."
"I thought I needed someone that would hold my hand, take me for walks, get my chair for me, put butterflies in my stomach whenever I catch him looking at me and I didn't think you were the type to take things that slowly. I was worried I couldn't keep up or be what you deserved."
Ronon saw a tear slid down from her eye within his line of sight and he reached out to brush it away.
Jennifer's hand captured his and held it there for an extra moment before releasing it.
Ronon slid his hand and arm across her stomach and held her there trying to convey he was not going anywhere.
Jennifer slid her hand over his on her stomach and intertwined their fingers. "I was wrong, Ronon, you've been doing all those things all along. You do hold my hand, and I do get butterflies in my stomach just seeing you across the room watching me."
Ronon squeezed her fingers slightly before speaking, "I was hoping you wouldn't notice, I wanted you to be comfortable around me and didn't want to scare you off, like I seemed to have done." Ronon hated sounding insecure, but when it came to Jennifer he found himself not sure of a lot of things.
"This may be obvious," Jenn started, "but I just want to be clear… are you still… interested in me, after all my pushing? Do you still want me?" Jennifer held her breath waiting for the answer.
"I want you and all that goes with it. I want to be able to hold your hand without the worry you're going to pull it away and there is nothing I can do about it. I want to be able to ask you to eat with me and not have you think I mean with me and the team." Jennifer could hear the happiness seeping into his voice as he spoke. "I want," he chuckled, "to not have to correct Lorne or the Marine's when they call you 'my girl'."
"You want to call me your girl?" she asked in disbelief. "Would that make you my boy?"
She couldn't help but laugh when he growled, "I'd be your man or Mr. Big and Burly to Cadman." He finished off laughing, causing her head to bounce a little on his chest.
She sat up a little and looked at him, "you've heard her say that?" she asked embarrassed.
"I was paying attention," he shrugged before standing up and offering his hand to help her up. "Come on Dr. Keller; let me walk you back to your room so I can kiss you good night at your door."
She grinned up at him, "what are we waiting for," she teased back taking his hand and not letting go.
More to come, don't forget to review.